The Great and Wonderful PAX SECRET BOBCAT GIFT EXCHANGE 2012 Edition EXTENDED TO NOV 18th

SmallLadySmallLady Registered User regular
edited November 2012 in PAX General Discussion
The Great and Wonderful PAX SECRET BOBCAT GIFT EXCHANGE 2012 Edition

It's that time of year again, when we all put our minds to community and gift giving.

Everyone who signs up will be randomly assigned another participant. You are then tasked to buy that person a gift. As a recipient, you will write a letter of things you like and do not like to The Great Cardboard Tube in the sky.

WTF Bobcats??


The theme this year is to add a touch of weirdness to everyone's lives..

Why are you starting sign ups so early?!? it's not even Halloween yet!
Starting sign ups early means giving everyone their assigned giftees early, which means everybody gets their gifts by the end of the year... because nobody is going to be late.. right guys?

Who can Sign up?
Anybody who has a forum account that was created on or before Aug 1st 2012 and has a minimum of 15 substantive posts. However, if you feel you should get special consideration outside of these rules, feel free to PM me. But the decision will be mine in the end.


•If you do not send a present. Your forum account will be banned.
- There is no exception for this. If you can’t afford to send somebody a present. Don’t sign up.
•Pairings will be Random. I’ll try to make sure people don’t get the same gifters/giftees as last year, but no promises.
•Recommended Gift Value is $20. Feel free to spend as much as you want, however, don’t be that jerk that sends somebody a $1 sheet of spider stickers........That's not cool

•Screw your family, screw your friends, screw your significant other (not the good kind of screwing), and buy your gift for your Giftee FIRST, because you’re going to have to mail the fucking thing.
•Get your present to your Giftee BY Jan 1st. Anytime after that and your risking not being invited back to the gift exchange and/or me sending Moe after you.
•If your gift is going to be arriving after Jan 1st. PM me. Your excuse better be AMAZING.
•Don’t tell me your gift got lost. Pay for tracking.

•When your present arrives, you MUST post on the forums letting everyone know what you got and how amazing it is and thank your Gifter. Failure to comply will result in not being invited back next year.
•Pictures and thank you posts are MANDATORY.
•Open and post about your gift as soon as you receive it. Otherwise tracking you all gets far too difficult.



Step 1: Write a letter to The Great Cardboard Tube in the sky, expressing all of your hopes and desires and things you really don't like.
If your letter sucks, or doesn't say much, your gift giver has my permission to get you a justin beiber toothbrush.
Step 2: Clicky Here and fill out this form. DO NOT PM ME THIS INFORMATION.

That’s it! You’re signed up!! HOWEVER, if you fail at either of these two steps, I will not add you to the spreadsheet and I won’t go chasing people down.

Deadbeat Gifters
Ok, so this is totally unnecessary because none of you are going to be a deadbeat Gifter. However, If you would like to volunteer to be somebody who is willing to send a gift to somebody who got shafted, please PM me. If you sign up, you are 100% allowed to change your mind later and you don’t have to participate in the gift exchange to do it.



* I reserve the right to change the rules after I've posted them in case I've forgotten something important.


"we're just doing what smalllady told us to do" - @Heels
SmallLady on


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    chupamiubrechupamiubre Registered User regular
    edited November 2012
    Dear Santa I have been naughty as usual but everyone says to be my self so I assume you can't hold it against me. What can i say it's been a weird year filled with whales, planes and fork lifts but that's not really important. What is important is this house called Downton Abbey it's probably the best house in all of England and well let's just say i have grown rather attached to it's occupants and there lives. What makes following these peoples lives even better is doing with a nice cup of black tea. Moving on from things British I still have a rather lacking collection of the escapades of one spider jerusalem and Wesley Gibson I do love reading about what trouble they are getting into. Aside from that i am still in need to the normal supplies or uranium, Geiger counters, hazmat suits and minions. If you must i have compiled a basic list though said list is more of a framework to work from not a strict guide.

    chupamiubre on
    <ZeroHourHero> I have a tiny penis
    <Qs23> I just need to get my dicks in a row
    <prox> i work for dicks
    #paforums_pax, all about the dicks.
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    Menolly07Menolly07 Registered User regular
    edited November 2012
    Dear Batman, I loved you when you punched that one guy in the face. That was super awesome. I would really like a pony. Especially a pink one. The hyper one. Pinkie Pie. She's my favourite. Barring that. I like cats an awful lot. I also like handmade things. So if you are good at making things, I love those things. I make things too. I hand spin and crochet. I also embroider. So anything related to that is awesome, either for doing those things or things that are made that way. I love purple and green. I wear a men's size large and Princess Peach is the best of all Nintendo. I love weird international candy. Like if we don't have it in the United States and you don't live in the United States, that kind of thing really amuses me, Batman. I collect maneki neko, all kinds, not just cat types.

    My Fandoms include: Star Trek:TNG, Star Wars (OG), Firefly (love), Doctor Who

    I love you, Batman... And I think you're really cool... And I can't wait until you tell me who my person is because I want to make a thingie for them!!

    Menolly07 on
    Still PAXing strong. [E] for lyfe. ELand forever.
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    CaptainTapoleCaptainTapole Awesome in the Possum - Yee-Haw! Northern CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Dear Meat,
    I like cookies. They are full of yum and sweet.

    How are you, meaty goodness? Don't worry. You'll be eaten by me soon enough. But that's not what I am here for.

    I am here to inform the Mighty Butchers Above about my plan to take over the Tri-State area! ...I need to think smaller? Okay! Take over Disneyland! Even smaller!? Take over Disney Paraphernalia! Yeah! Totally that!

    My army would be filled with little ponies and frogs, led by Applejack! Their weapons would be pens...or keys. I have not decided yet. Dude. Why would I tell you my secret weapon? Why do I need to tell you my secret weapon would be filled with candy and CDs or flashdrives with music and odd and random trinkets? That would be all for me!!!

    ...Alas. I cannot fulfill this Item-Global-Domination. Why,you ask? I do not have much of a secret weapon, let alone much of weapons. I don't have an army. I just have my fantasies that are final and my strange and unusual imagination.

    Oh? I need to go practical? Maybe cards to the Amazon River...or some Disney thing.

    I think that is as much detail as I can give unto you, Meat.

    Okay. I eat you now.

    Forever you in my dicey belly,

    PS Worse case scenario? I could always hunt for that elusive Etsy creature.

    PPS With Fire and Blood, Winter is Coming
    If you have yet to figure it out, all that is underlined are major hints to what I like.

    CaptainTapole on
    The Girl Who Gave Everyone the Shortest Jenga Game Ever.
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    DirewolfDirewolf Boston, MARegistered User regular
    edited November 2012
    Oh Great Cardboard Tube, I have spent much of my life protected and supported by the structure of your beige spiral. But I am curious by nature and now engage in searching out new and challenging experiences. While this may doom my XXL soul to the slobbering hounds of your wrath, I love travel and culinary shows, often using them as a guide to expand my culinary horizons. There's a chance that I simply love strange food more than anything else. Puzzles, dice, and cards are scattered throughout my home, as there's nothing better than gaming a few hours away with a friend over a mug of coffee or cup of tea, some strange cult or genre movie playing in the background.

    PS - please include a note. I'm in more than one gift exchange and don't want to get them confused.

    Direwolf on
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    Rogue_hunterRogue_hunter Breaks Through Brick Walls Los AngelesRegistered User regular
    O, wise and powerful Oz,

    I beseech you upon this impending Bobcat season to rain your blessings down upon myself and these PAX friends.
    I submit upon you these humble optional wishes, in the hopes you keep my health up this next year (you did a piss poor job last year, putting me in the hospital for a month to start the year, and then taking my gall bladder. Nice job on the plush replacement, too bad the face is on the wrong side).

    Request the first: a pair of lovely warm socks. It's actually a nice tradition, getting a new pair of socks each year from one of your gifting elves. The goal of the collection is to have a pair to wear each day of the week, but one pair, size 10 (or generic 6-12) this year is sufficient.

    Request the second: yeah, I'm just gonna leave this open ended, since it's always the thought that counts. For party games, I've got Cards Against Humanity, Zombie Dice and Munchkin, though I don't get to play them as much as I'd like. I'm all good on books, movies, video games and comics. May His Noodly Appendage bless upon you a genius gift.

    Request the third: What kind of music do you listen to? It's always cool to hear what other people dig. For me it's fun to curate a mix of what I like to share, how abouts you do the same for me? (CD preferable since it's easy to pop in almost anything, but hey, a flash drive can be plugged directly into my car stereo)

    O, man behind the curtain, projecting his angry visage upon the world, please bring a joyous Bobcat season upon us all.

    PlayStation Network: Rogue_hunter
    Steam: Rogue_hunter
    Games for Windows Live: Roguality
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    Little Miss RachelLittle Miss Rachel Geek Chick Before Geek Was Chic Idahoan ExileRegistered User regular
    O Mythic Tube of Legend and Lore,

    I have been a very good girl been a reasonably good girl tried my best to be a good girl managed to not kill anyone this year, which I realize doesn't seem like a big accomplishment, but other people are really really naughty! I hope that with your fabled temperance and generosity you will see it in your heart to allow me a small boon despite my unworthiness.

    I enjoy games of skill and chance, to be played around the table with friends. Zombie Dice, any variation on Fluxx, or Cards Against Humanity (for its black humor and bleak outlook on the future of the Human Race mirror my own) would be divine.

    I enjoy clothing that brings warmth, being so bereft of insulation of my own to keep out the chill. Socks and scarves and gloves and hats and shawls and wraps and such things to keep me cozy through the chill winter months would be as gifts from the Goddess.

    I also enjoy that which brings warmth from the inside. Teas and the implements of their preparation; hot peppers and their derivatives (the latter being likely more suitable as a boon, as such preparations are generally longer live-d than the fresh ingredients from which they are made); these are the things that bring warmth to my belly to supplement my otherwise negligible body heat.

    Thank you, O Tube of Destiny, for listening to this unworthy girl's requests. May you ever bring Light to Dark places!

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    WackBagWackBag Registered User regular
    Twas the night before PAX, when all through the forum,
    Not a gamer was stirring, not even out of boredom.
    The keyboards were dusted by the PC's with care,
    In hopes that the Great Cardboard Tube soon would be there.

    The gamers were nestled all snug in their beds,
    While visions of BYOC danced in their heads.
    And Gabe in his ‘nighty, and Tycho in his cap,
    Had just settled thier differences about Omegathon crap.

    When above the BCEC there arose such a clatter,
    We sprang from our sleeping bags to see what was the matter.
    Away to the window I flew like a dart,
    Tore open the shutters to let out a fart.

    The moon on the breast of some drunken cosplay gal
    Gave the glimmer of hope to some schleps and their pal.
    When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
    But a PAX Secret Santa, and eight tinny reindeer.

    With the fuzzy little driver, donned in a Santa hat,
    I knew in a moment it must be the Bobcat.
    All the gifts in my head, so excited I came (outside)
    So I cheered, and shouted, and called them by name!

    "Now Giftcards! like, Itunes! now, Bestbuy or Amazon!
    On, Tabletop Games! like, Magic!, or Catan or Munchkin!
    To the top of the stairs! to the top of the roofl!
    Aw crap it was a dream.....Away it went....Poofl!"

    Pax East 2014 checklist:
    3 Day Pass [X] - BYOC [X] - Accomodations [X] - Travel [ X ] - Time Off [ X ]
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    purevalpureval Somersworth, NH Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Dear Zeus,
    What's up man? How's the family? So I have been pretty good this year, I donated to several game marathons, I did not Force choke a single customer (even though some REALLY deserved it) and I even started paying on my student loans. I held back my true personality all year and now it is time for the reward.

    I am one of those people who are either really easy or really hard to buy for because I am into so many different things. I collect Star Wars, Magic: The Gathering, Hunger Games Harry Potter and Super Hero items. I am a huge fan of Nintendo and have just about every system (except for a Virtual Boy, one day, one day) and love anything to do with the company. I like dragons, Disney and Woot Monkeys. I love nutcrackers and have a pretty good sized collection going. I enjoy tv shows like Boardwalk Empire, True Blood, The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Auction Hunters and Robot Chicken. I love to read and my tastes are all over the map. I love theme parks and roller coasters. Musically speaking I am into nerdcore groups, Weird Al, Rock, Metal, Musicals and cartoon soundtracks.

    I am not much into PC gaming and I can not play any video games in first person due to severe motion sickness issues. I am also lactose intolerant so any goodies either need to use lactose free milk or have some kind of warning on them.

    I keep a rather extensive wish list at Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/127PE6K0D9A5W/ref=cm_wl_search_1) that I update frequently. I usually wear an XL shirt.

    pureval on
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    tvethiopiatvethiopia Salem MARegistered User regular
    edited October 2012
    dear tube-thing,

    if you can find it in your cylindrical heart to send me some small token of your affections, you should know that i like doctor who, horror movies, libraries, lit criticism and theory, kitties, handmade crafty things, feminism, tabletop games like those featured in the webseries 'tabletop' starring wil wheaton, wil wheaton, baking, tshirts in size xl ladies or s/m mens, bioware games (most especially mass effect & dragon age), jack daniels, joss whedon stuff (most especially buffy & firefly), and my totally amazing troop of 5th grade girl scouts.

    and if you also want to send me a bobcat, i promise to take excellent care of the fuzzy little ball of death.

    edit: also, PONIES

    tvethiopia on
    <3 Daintier. Smarter. Better dressed. <3
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    chaosisorderchaosisorder Cupcake Princess and Pinny Whore OregonRegistered User regular
    Dear Cardboard Tube,

    I know some people say you aren't real, but I still believe. I see evidence of you every day- in my toilet paper, my paper towels and in my bobcat gift wrap. You are the stern, hidden back that supports so much of my daily life, and I have faith that even if I cannot see you, you are there. I hope you reward my faith during this bobcat season with material goods. Failing that, I hope you infract MoeFwacky for something. I know you are all seeing and could find *something*.

    If you choose the material goods route, I have some ideas for you:

    - board games- while I have an extensive collection, I like just about everything!
    - kitchen gadgetry or amusements (There's a pastasaurus out there I really need. And a dino sandwich cutter.)
    - anything My Little Pony
    - warm things - Siberian winds reach here so scarves, hats, socks and mittens are AWESOME especially if handmade
    - Steam 'casual' style games (I have a wishlist up there) ID is chaosisorder
    - Anything dinosaur. Like really.
    - Books and comics (I read just about anything, especially dystopian, zombie, amish romance and commodity books)
    - Obviously I love PA and geekery, so anything from ThinkGeek or the Merch store would be awesomesauce. I'm an XL in girl babydoll shirts, L in men's.
    - anything artsy if you are an art person- while I tend not to do knick knacks, I love framing paintings or photos for the walls, or blanket/pillow type creations
    - I have a boatload of bobcat kitties if you would prefer to do a kitty gift, especially yarny knit toys!
    - a mix cd of music you are into, new music, anything that is not a chinese version of Santa Baby played in July

    Please Tube take note that I have a few special customs considerations:

    I have sent SmallLady my address in Chinese as well as English. It would be wise to print the Chinese version out and tape it somewhere on the box (no need to try and write it anywhere.) Also, be as vague as you can about what is in the box- almost everything can fall under toys, books, clothes, etc. If you get specific, I may have to explain to the post office that I did not have explosives mailed to me. Also, tracking is a MUST for China, as all white people look alike and without it, me getting it from the post office can be dubious.

    I CANNOT receive the following:

    - Porn (can't a girl catch a break??!)
    - Religious items (guess I caught a break....)
    - Anything anti-communism, anything pro-Japan, any maps
    - Foods (even stable items or processed)

    (Actually the full list of things I cannot receive is full of endless mirth to me, including golf clubs, used clothing, and, I kid you not *anything made in China*. However, nearly all but the ones listed above get by just fine.)

    Thank you, Oh Tube!

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    tvethiopiatvethiopia Salem MARegistered User regular
    question: any idea when sign ups will close/when we will be assigned our giftees? i'm so excited, i'm already imagining the gifts i might gift!

    <3 Daintier. Smarter. Better dressed. <3
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    zerzhulzerzhul Registered User, Moderator mod
    tvethiopia wrote: »
    question: any idea when sign ups will close/when we will be assigned our giftees? i'm so excited, i'm already imagining the gifts i might gift!

    The signup deadline is in the OP. Giftees should be assigned very shortly after that.

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    blAAAm!!!blAAAm!!! Cleveland, OhioRegistered User regular
    Dear Round Porcelain Flush Machine of Awesomeness,

    How are you this fine morning, i dont remember all of the nights and early mornings i have spent with you this past year but I am sure they were all magical in one way or the other.

    Well now it time to get down to business (no not that kind you sick freak)

    - Shirts (Large, Grande, not Small)
    - Board / Card games
    - Magic the Gathering
    - Domo-kun
    - Weird stuff for my desk at work
    - Walking Dead, Fringe, X-Files, Game of Thrones

    Thanks you,


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    tvethiopiatvethiopia Salem MARegistered User regular
    zerzhul wrote: »
    tvethiopia wrote: »
    question: any idea when sign ups will close/when we will be assigned our giftees? i'm so excited, i'm already imagining the gifts i might gift!

    The signup deadline is in the OP. Giftees should be assigned very shortly after that.

    wow, i actually went through that multiple times specifically looking for the date and somehow kept missing it, despite its being in bold. nov 17th. got it.

    <3 Daintier. Smarter. Better dressed. <3
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    PayneTraynePayneTrayne Canuck Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Dear Cardboard Tube,

    I haven't been a good boy this year, but I've definitely been a boy so that's gotta count for something. Maybe you could reward my XL self with something to do with geeky culture. I know, cardboard tube, it's vague, so allow me to go in depth. I'm a big fan of LoadingReadyRun, PurePwnage, MegaTOKYO and Penny Arcade, if you couldn't guess from the fact that I'm on the forums. But I like random stuff that has more material goodies as well! I truly enjoy The Walking Dead and have never read the comic and I've read every A Song of Ice and Fire book and look forward to reading and seeing more! I'm also a big fan of League of Legends and if you don't want to buy anything from there anything YOU like from ThinkGeek would be awesome as well.

    PayneTrayne on
    PAX East 2015:Get on Pokecrawl Team Yellow Silver [ ] Pass [X] Vacation Time [X] Hotel [X] Flights [ ] PAX East 2015 Complete [ X ] Sell Extra Set of Badges because Friend Bailed [ ]
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    treezatreeza Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Oh my worf! Secret gifts and mail and awesomeness! This is such an amazing idea and sounds like so much fun. This forum is the best. Hope I can sign up for next year's! ^_^

    treeza on
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    JimmyWildJimmyWild Austin, TXRegistered User regular
    Dear Most Magnificent Tube,
    I didn't know you were in the sky? I was pretty sure you were in my closet. I have so much respect for you. Mostly because you delivered some really cool video game posters. Except that one time you protected a poster and a XL game tshirt. I mean, that was pretty sneaky. I'll give you props for that. You're also really fun to play with when i'm watching Warehouse 13 or Haven or Eureka. You're also really helpful when i'm chasing my roommates dog out of my room. Cause he likes to chew on things and i don't want him anywhere near my Sega Genesis game collection. Speaking of games, i really play too much Final Fantasy 14, but whatever. Thankfully i have XCOM and Diablo3 to distract me. Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, thanks tube, you're the best!


    PS my parents have a bobcat that likes to hang out on their porch. Scary!

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    SpawnOfCthulhuSpawnOfCthulhu Also that Snifit guy. Gig Harbor, WARegistered User regular
    edited October 2012

    I shan't be participating this year, unfortunately.

    Have fun everyone!

    SpawnOfCthulhu on
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    vttymvttym Ardent Gamer Northern NJRegistered User regular
    edited December 2012
    Dear Tubular Cylinder,

    Look, let's be honest with each other; we both know why I'm writing you this letter. I feel as though we've grown apart since I first met you a few minutes ago by reading about you on a forum. I sat in shock as I read forumer after forumer write you personal letters of their wants and needs. They wrote these letters to you as though they knew you like I did; as though they shared the wonderful moments of potential bliss that we did as I read about your existence in an underlined sentence.

    How could you? This letter was supposed to be a moment of intimate sharing.. a way for you to better understand the things I liked.. and maybe some of the things that I didn't like. It was a way for us to start the rest of our life* together. Instead, I find you whoring yourself out to anyone is willing to provide an email address. I thought you were better than this.

    So you probably don't care that I like things like Star Wars, Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, or most any kind of gadget. I imagine you'd probably mock me to your new "friends" about my recent return to Magic: The Gathering cards as well. It's also likely of little importance to you now that I continue to play Rock Band on the Xbox, so Microsoft Points are always appreciated to continue to grow my song library. No, why would you care what I appreciate? You're too busy "appreciating" every single piece of .ASP that walks by. Little fun trinkets for my desk at work were always something I'd hoped you would surprise me with. I always did think it would be fun to have some gaming or geeky clothing accessories like hats or scarves or what not, but you never paid attention when I'd mention to my monitor. Do you even remember that I'm an XL shirt size? Probably not..

    Well that's fine. At least I won't have my heart broken when you send me those crappy comics (unless it's comics about one of the things I like.. if you can even remember what I said in the last paragraph), D&D stuff (I just don't have time to play anymore!), or anything Apple related. Or who knows, maybe you WILL torture me with one of those things.. you'd probably do it out of spite... or to appeal to your new favorite avatar. Of course, if you really wanted to stick the knife in my back, you'd just send me 3DS, Vita, PS3 or Wii stuff, since you know I don't have those systems.

    So it's fine. Go off and flash your pixels at anyone that looks. I'm done with you. I've made my peace, and I'm moving on. I won't look at this post every day, hoping you'll reply. I won't click on my Inbox every hour, just in case my notifications aren't working correctly.

    All I can do is make sure that I send the BEST gift in the world to someone here, who thinks that you care about them. That will show you! I'll make their dreams come true so you can't! And there's nothing you can do about it! I'll take from you what you took from me, and it will be wonderful. Then you'll just HAVE to talk to me to find out who I helped, and what I got them!

    Goodbye forever**,

    * - or until January 2013, whichever comes first
    ** - or until you want to talk, whichever comes first***
    *** - excludes drunk-texting

    Edt: a wish list does exist, though its still a work in progress: http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/BZLN42CPBLY3/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_ws_UZd4qb02VE9T4

    vttym on
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    AtomicGaryBuseyAtomicGaryBusey I put on my robe and wizard hat. Beautiful Lynnhood, Wash.Registered User regular
    Oh mighty sound effects lady,

    Do I have at least 3 numbers right? I really hope I don't get 3 numbers right because I don't really like the number 3. I am fond of 6 though. 6 is a nice number. It can be 12 if it wanted to. 6 is when I first gained sentience. Quite remarkable. Back when I first became self-aware I wanted Bert and Ernie merchandise because I was a little corporate teat-sucker. Not anymore. I shun advertisements. Brawndo is quite fantastic, though. Not really. Electrolytes make your body go into toxic shock.

    Do you remember when I played One Away for a physical copy of Witchazel by Matt Berry and didn't win it? I almost stopped believing in you that day. I walked off stage and it was all I could do to get the mocking face of Drew Carey to go away and stop making that "wah-wah-wa-wa" noise.

    I do enjoy handicrafts. Why does your contest always feature big business-made items? I want to see stuff that people come up with in their heads and turn into reality. That stuff is magic on Earth. We humans are magical creatures through our capacity to create wonderful things. Why would we ever turn this over to machines?

    Overall though, I dislike typical store-bought stuff. I'd much rather have a sack of random surprise fun. Like porn. I'll take all the porn and maps you were going to give chaosisorder. In fact, I CAN receive the following you were going to send her:

    - Porn
    - Religious items (I need solar death ray fodder)
    - Anything anti-communism, anything pro-Japan, any maps

    Especially the porn. Dreams of my Real Father about Marxist Obama is also out of this world.

    I also totally dig the barter system. A gift of your services (no matter what it is you do professionally or even on an amateur basis) would be stellar.

    OH Mighty sound effects lady, blessed is thy name and praise be to you. You are the bringer of lucky sound effects and we will forever celebrate in your shadow.

    Happy happy. Joy joy.


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    NullzoneNullzone Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Dear Princess Celestia OH MIGHTY CYLINDRICAL ONE:

    I beseech your blessings upon me, as I strive to do good for your kingdom. Already the armies of the Isosceles Triangle have been vanquished for your glory! I have taken the liberty to enclose some details of that which I would find as favorable blessing.

    You should know that my campaigns against the planar forces have been quite successful and I have returned with much plunder; a chronicle of these riches may be found here, here, and here. There are also records noted of spoils that others have claimed before me which I also desire. You may use this information as you see fit.

    Also, you will be pleased to learn that I have taken up training weekly with our War Wizards and have taken quite a liking to our duels. Additional resources for training would not be unwelcome.

    More divination orbs are always put to good use, since as you well know they lose their power over time but are strengthened by the influx of new magics.

    I have taken a recent liking to the chronicles of a wacky tinman who protects his homeland much as I do for your kingdom. A cheeky lot, and quite the tale to be told.

    My dreams are often inhabited by two uniquely dressed characters; it is sometimes difficult to wake, as I wish such dreams involving them would not end.

    You are all-knowing, and so I shall not try to deny my love of equestrian tales. If you find this favorable, I would be delighted to receive a token of your approval.

    I often communicate with my comrades via bluebird; this may be insightful for your agents.

    Lastly, more than anything else I would desire to receive something that YOU find favorable; my horizons are broadened by YOUR interests. Put a little of yourself into that which I may be blessed with and I will be forever content.

    By your will,

    (P.S. I wear a large)

    Nullzone on
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    kropotkinkropotkin Forum Badge Creator London UKRegistered User regular
    Dear Useless Bit of Cardboard that is Cylindrical in Shape and is in no way as cool as Thor,

    Granted my opening gambit to you oh pointless one is a bit off, but you have to be the first to admit that Thor as a way cooler diety than you. I mean he has a helmet with wings on it, can summon lightening and has a dirty great hammer that he calls Mjølner. He also has a host of large breasted blond women that follow him around! He's like a walking heavy metal album cover! All you do is remind people they have to go to the grocery store to get some more kitchen towels. That's not very metal. At all.

    To redeem yourself and put one over the Norse one I think you need to impress me a little more than making me feel guilty about not doing my household chores, you JERK! So why not give me something nice in an attempt, and I do mean attempt, at making yourself a teensy bit less irritating and more interesting than a being who can summon lightening at will while smacking someone in the face with a giant hammer that has a name with an 'ø' in it? A tall order I know, but I really am intrigued to see if you can do it. You know what, just to make it easier for you, I'll even offer up some suggestions to your annoying, nagging self:

    I like this stuff:

    - Miniatures for the X-Wing board game from FFG
    - Pictures/art from the world of gaming seeing as I just moved house I'd like to have some pictures and such
    - Cool figurines/mini statues from D&D or video game related
    - The Avengers on Blu-Ray - US Edition
    - Books on video game design/development (I'm working on something right now and as much as I'm enjoying it, any help would be appreciated)
    - Video game sound tracks (no FEZ and Journey though as I already have those).

    Go head Captain Tube Thingy, IMPRESS ME!

    Love and Kisses,



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    FrugusFrugus Photographer MontrealRegistered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Dear Lord of Chaos that is the Cardboard Tube. I have worshiped your four other brothers for a long time, but my interest has dwindled during last summer's Nurgle bible camp. That was NOT a fun obstacle course. I'm going to try camp Slaanesh next year but if I can't make any friends (like dad promised) then I'm going to call it quits and become a full time Pastafarian. I hear they have stripper factories, beer volcanoes and a buffalo wing forest among other things. That can't suck!

    Anyway, here is my letter, as requested.

    Even though I am a pure geek at heart, I have gotten quite behind the times since I left college and went full blast into the usual obligations that all mortals face every day. For the past three years PAX has been my way of catching up, as well as getting around to do the things I should have done already. Two years ago I made a point of finally trying MTG for the first time and have been in love with the game ever since. Last year I bought almost every table top game I could get my hands on and I have enough for a couple of years... I don't know what year #4 has in store for me, but I doubt it will fail. I still have a lot of things to try, like playing DnD or Pathfinder (still not sure what is best, last time I played there was a scary monk on my Dungeon Master guide!)

    I have been productive while waiting. I finally got around watching every modern Doctor Who episode (I show my love for the doctors through my geeky collection of coffee cups at work). I also played (more like sampled) a good deal of PC and Console games lately. I have waged Wars in Guilds land Bordered lands, and I am currently fighting off aliens to save the planet (I am happy to live in a world that finally got a decent sequel/remake of X-COM).

    This is all procrastinating however. My new wife keeps reminding me that I have yet to prepare an adequate defense when the Zombie Apocalypse arrives. I mean, we can (almost) have all the board games in the world but what good will it be if we can't make it passed day 1? What about the geeky music? What about geeky Books? What about rare, niche movies that my neighbors will hate so much that they won't want to stay with us which in turn will mean more food anyway? To make it worse, we don't have that many weapons here in Canada. I will need to improvise.

    Well, if she would follow me on either Steam, Twitter or anything else on the internet under the same name, she would know how hard I am working on certain things. I don't think she does however. Oh, if only someone would take some time to check it out!
    PS. I am a huge boy and clothes aren't easy to come by.


    Frugus on
    Frugus Eggbeater
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    SkeleVaderSkeleVader Your Friendly Dark Lord of Destruction Registered User regular
    To the one they call "Secret",

    I pray to no gods, I speak directly to the one with true power. You and I have a special connection, I can feel it. It has taken many years, but this meeting between you and I was inevitable. Let us dance this dance of the Bobcats.

    I am a geek of course, but I am so much more as well. I enjoy watching sports (Seattle Seahawks & WSU Cougars to be exact), I enjoy wood working as well as turning a wrench while working on the Jeep.

    Currently I am in a board game phase. In the past year I have bought Zombie Dice, Cards Against Humanity, Get Bit, Gloom, Pirate Fluxx & Monty Python Fluxx too. I love them all, and I would be ecstatic if I received any of the other games they have played on the You Tube show "Table Top", or any other game a geek would like. (And a used game is just as good, if not better, then new. I would love to give a neglected game a warm new home).

    I am also in the process of cleaning up my garage and turning it into a "Man Cave" so anything along the lines of Gaming decorations (posters, screen prints, drawings, etc.) would be highly welcome as well.
    Some examples of the games I enjoy are (In no particular order) Borderlands, Halo, Portal, Command & Conquer, Hitman, & Half Life.

    I do not like Justin Bieber and I am not a fan of getting clothes I have not tried on (I am an XL however if you choose to blatantly ignore this).

    Now, go forth Bobcat of the secret society and bring down upon me your majestic package of awe. Or just send me a gift, your choice, whatever floats your boat.

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    parabolaparabola Registered User regular
    Dear person,

    Things i like: MTG, random games (i own all consoles + steam, mostly play PC), I am a Canucks/hockey fan, things I cant get in BC/Canada, random geeky stuff. T-shirt size is medium.

    Honestly, I trust you'll get me something awesome whatever it may be. Feel free to proxy me for other questions.

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    BombClancyBombClancy Sugar Lady Registered User regular
    To the Great Cardboard Tube,
    Thank you for taking the time to read this and all the other consumer driven gift begging requests. I have a full list of needs but as always I am more concerned with what I want. If you could find a place within your cylinder of hollowness to give me anything, I would suggest it be something on the list of things I like and not the list of things I can't tolerate.

    Yankee candles, Chocolate, MLS Sounders, Britney Spears, Candy, TimTams, Puzzles, Mind bender type hand held things, WH40k, RTS, MMO and racing games.
    I own a considerable amount of clothes but if you are inclined to get or make me something I can wear, I am typically an XS or S.

    Gluten, Sour Candies, Spicy Food and in general, FPS type games.

    Thank you again for taking the time to read my letter and I hope to hear from you soon...or just receive something awesome, that would be sufficient.
    ~The Great BombClancy

    what do you call a pile of kittens? A meoooowntain!
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    Lady LilybellLady Lilybell Geeky Crafter & Baker South Shore, MARegistered User regular
    edited November 2012
    Dear keeper of Great Cardboard Tube in the sky,

    Look, we both know we have had some words over this year. Well, I have had some choice words for you when you're heavy and fall on my foot. Let's put the past behind us. This crafty gal has been on her best behavior this year. I'm dreaming of a few things.
    ...... Any adventure with Captain Picard & Crew ( not #17,27,38, IQ or The Devil's Heart) or a Time Lord ( not Paradox Lost)
    ...... Wookie Pie, Clone Scone Star Wars Cookbook
    ...... World of Geekcraft.

    -I can use some more cookie cutters: a set of circles or Pokemon.
    -I adore The Guild. I only own Season 1 & 2 and missed out on the Fawkes comic.
    -Carcassone or The Guild Munchkin expansion.
    -My fridge can always use new magnets. i.e. Pop culture, Mario, Dr. Who, Marvel.

    If you are crafty, a general idea of items I like, look at board #001-10 Pinned Ideas

    I love sour candy (the sour, the better) and baked treats.

    ~Lady Lils~

    Lady Lilybell on
    I ♥ making awesome crafts! I ♥ my Cookie Brigaders!
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    YsterathYsterath Registered User regular
    Oh Mystical Cardboard Tube of Wonder and Delight,

    Let me please start out by saying that I am truly sorry about feeding your sibling, the other Cardboard Tube to my chinchilla Dante. He REALLY wanted something to munch on and your sibling just happened to be lying around being unproductive as it had recently been shorn of its papery goodness cleaning up some mess or another. Please oh please don’t hold this against me as again, it was for my poor, cute, adorable chinchilla that I committed this crime.

    Now provided that you do not loathe me for this teensy little infraction I suppose I would next list some of my accomplishments of the past year in addition to things that I truly enjoy. This past year has been a whirlwind of activity. I went from being a ninja forum goer to the land of Enforcerdom and actually occasionally show my face on the pax IRC. It is due to such glorious revelations that I have found myself here writing this letter to your cardboardy goodness.

    If you are unaware of my pastimes in the land of geekery they range from cosplay to tabletop to console and many other galaxies and dimensions between. As a result of this I like all sorts of shiny game related things and am usually the person to bring their copy of Cards Against Humanity to group gatherings.
    I enjoy the gift of randomness and often revel in the strange and wonderful things that I accumulate in making such a request. Though if more specifics are required I have a healthy love for Doctor Who, geeky/gaming clothing and accessories (womens’s medium), miniatures, board games, wonderful hand crafted things, accessories for LARPing, ponies, dice or the magical object behind door number 42.

    Now I must adjourn to the land of misty pandas as well as the war with the guilds. I do hope that some small favor of my wishes might be granted as I have been as good as could be hoped behavior this year.

    Praise be to you most glorious tube and all the many bobcats you associate with,


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    draklandraklan Chocobo in time the Frosty North... mmm FrostingRegistered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Dearest Great Carboard Tube that lives above this meager world

    As always I cannot in truth say that i have been good this year nor even in truth can i say that i have been alright this year. As usual I cause trouble and sow chaos everywhere i go. Though special consideration should be given to me as I attended both Pax East and Prime this year as well as fund raised 500 dollars for Juvenile Diabetets Research. I understand that these few positives do little to budge the negatives but lets not dwell on that shall we?

    I really wanted to get Rythym Thief for the 3ds but it sold out incredibly fast everywhere around where I live, :( I love Doctor who and the Nightmare before Christmas and just about anything Final Fantasy... Really I like neat stuff....Think Geek frequently sells stuff that I find awesome.. Also for note I wear an XL shirt size That said Im fairly certain that customs would have issues with a live bobcat being sent across the border which makes me very sad as my 2 fur babies would probably love a bobcat brother or sister.

    yours eternally draklan

    draklan on
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    cyntheticcynthetic Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Dear Hollow Cylinder of Alternating Corrugated and Uncorrugated layers that Resides in an Unspecified Location Between The Tropo and Exosphere,

    It has come to my attention that you would like to present me with a gift for the Winteriest of holidays (that's right, I'm talking about "Take it in the Ear Day"! http://holidayinsights.com/other/earday.htm) So, I thought I might direct you toward gifts I might enjoy.

    So, quick facts that may shed light on what I enjoy:

    -I'm married (so, y'know... no strippers.)
    -I live in a tiny farm town in Missouri, despite being raised in the great city of St. Louis. (You should go there, but... stay on the West side of the river. Seriously.)
    -I'm moving to South Korea in February. It's crazy, I know. I'm excited. My Korean is pretty poor. (Ok, it's terrible.)
    -I'm obsessed (seriously) with the following things (Note: They are NOT in order. Don't make me choose...): Doctor Who (10=11>4>1,2,3,5,6,7,8>9), Cats, The St. Louis Cardinals (suck it, San Fran. ...in general though, I love all baseball), PAX, and Music (I have a BA in it for some reason.)
    -I'm going to PAXEast 2013 (Yep, all the way from SK.)
    -I can usually be found playing WoW (Alliance), LoL (Mundo or Teemo typically), Civ V, Minecraft, MW3 or Dance Central, but I do play many other things from time to time. (I also spend a good chuck of time/money on iPhone games)
    -I love weird/unique kitchen appliances and do-hickeys.
    -Anything from the PA store would find a warm welcome in my home.
    -I love learning. I greatly prefer non-fiction to fiction, and any sort of biography, how-to book, or "such-and-such for dummies" would definitely be read and enjoyed. (So, if you're trying to get someone else to understand your interest and knowledge of underwater basket weaving, now's your chance.)
    -I wanted to make this list an even ten.

    Hopefully there's some useful stuff in there. If not, a live bobcat is an excellent alternative.

    Yours Truly,


    EDIT: A stripper is acceptable (and approved by my husband,) if it is Matt Smith in a cake: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pm6HA3vG8Qw

    cynthetic on
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    zeromystzeromyst wat Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Oh great cardboard tube of awesomeness hear my words -

    This year has been good to me and I do not ask for much. But as you've seen lately I've had these pin & button cravings for anything related to gaming, movies, pop culture and other generally awesome things for the past couple of months. Anything you could bestow upon me I would be forever grateful.

    If you gave all of the buttons and pins away, a Steam or PSN gift card would grow my ever-expanding game library.

    And if no gift cards are available to rain down upon me, a flash drive of any size capacity will do since I foolishly leave them in my pocket when washing my clothes. I will take steps in the future to prevent this from happening again, o great one.

    Thank you again brown and round overseer of greatness.

    P.S. - I have notified the great one you call SmallLady regarding my meager post history. I hope you will excuse my lurking behavior. Hopefully with some enlightenment on your part mighty cardboard tube, she will see that I am for the cause.

    zeromyst on
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    QuickSnapQuickSnap Professional Beard Grower Registered User regular
    Dear Sentient Aluminium Foil Wrapped Festivus Tube,

    You surprised me last year, what with your whimsical shenanigans, your false gifts and then finally your real gifts. Really kept me on my toes. And I was truly impressed.

    This year, I've acquired a far more encompassing penchant for the finer things in life, mostly vices: Cigars, Tobacco Pipes, fine spirits, good books and good music. My amazon wishlist is constantly updated to reflect this, in addition to my many other interests.

    In short order, if you should feel so graciously inclined to gift me with something this festivus season, rest assured that anything on that list would be more than appreciated. Special consideration should be given to the select items that I've placed as a higher priority, so be sure to check it thoroughly and often before making any purchases. ;D

    Thank you in advance, most sentient of festivus tubes, your generosity is most kind.

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    Cynd3rCynCynd3rCyn Registered User regular
    edited November 2012
    Hey Big Daddy Tube,

    I've been a good little elf working my butt off trying to get somewhere in life (one hopes), but I haven't been so good that I can't handle a good spanking!
    Okay, but seriously, I am excited once again to be part of the mayhem that is goofy/fun gift time. Through curiosity I have discovered how awesome some boys/girls handiwork has been on Etsy. I have seen some pretty awesome crocheted Dalek hats and various Harley Quinn Batman items. I do so love fun t-shirts.
    Some of my favorite things I like to consume during cold winter nights is various tea, popcorn, booze and chocolate. I enjoy hokey Sci-fi movies (giant spiders, Vincent Price or Hitchcock stuff, any black and white stuff)

    I do have wishlists on Amazon and ThinkGeek

    I trust you will do well in finding an awesome gift.

    Kind regards,

    Cynd3rCyn on
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    rileyperrileyper Registered User regular
    Dear Cardboard Tubing

    Been good this year, working hard to get my tickets to pax east next year for my second trip.
    I love swag from gaming events whether it be pax e3 or even local comic/anime cons (pins buttons capes scarfs apparel(3XL) hats swag bags)
    I love computer gizmos mice keyboards or even usb crap
    I love hockey
    I love lamp
    I love BOC's (bandolier of carrots)
    I love Fedoras
    I love Penny Arcade
    also a fan of minecraft
    Did I mention i love swag
    I love legos too

    Thanks in advance.


    Pax Prime 2014 checklist: Accommodations[x] Travel [x] Time Off [x] BYOC [not attending :(]
    Pax South 2015 checklist: Accommodations[x] Travel [x] Time Off [ ] BYOC [x]
    Pax East 2015 checklist: Accommodations[ ] Travel [ ] Time Off [ ] BYOC [ ]
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    JonoseelJonoseel Here Be Unicorns and Dragons Boston, MARegistered User regular
    Dear Cardboard tubing in the sky,

    What a successful year it has been, I got my Pax East And prime tickets.
    I have passion of camera lenses
    I love swag and candy(haribos are the best.)
    I love money and amazon gift cards.
    New computer parts re the best especially Keyboards and cooling.
    Old games consoles and games bring back memories i have a gamecube that is lonely and needs some games.
    I really like getting cool stuff so thank you

    With hip and a hop
    a bid you good day
    thank you very much


    Pax Eat Stuff: 3 Day Badges[]; BYOC Badge[]; A Roof to stay under[X]; A ride of some sort[].
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    Exodus1Exodus1 MarylandRegistered User regular
    edited November 2012
    Dear perpetual geometric shape of paper in the sky,

    It has certainly been an interesting year, filled with good times and good friends. I ask that this coming PAX East is one of the best yet! Aside from that, I will leave a list of my interests below should you find it in your cylindrical volume to grant me a present.

    Things I like:
    Video Games (Action/RPG/Strategy/Indie)
    Board/Tabletop Games (Of almost any kind)
    Tabletop Miniatures/Dice
    Geeky/Nerdy Gifts
    Homemade/Crafted Gifts

    I have wishlists for your convenience:

    If you need other ideas, some of my favorite video games are Minecraft, Mass Effect, Halo, League of Legends, Borderlands. Some of my favorite tabletop games are Munchkin, Arkham Horror, Dominion, 7 Wonders. Some of my favorite anime are Cowboy Bebop, Ghost in the Shell, Fate/Zero, Hellsing. I like sci-fi universes such as Star Wars, Firefly, DC, Star Trek, Hitchhikers Guide. My favorite music is heavy metal. I love Jaffa Cakes.

    Exodus1 on
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    zerzhulzerzhul Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited November 2012
    To the cylindrical celestial object,

    In this, the first of the Bobcat seasons, we will gather for the gifting and the mauling as is our tradition everlasting. For the gifting, I have the spoilered section below. For the mauling, I only hope you find it in your hollow midsection to spare the previously mauled, such that mauling can be spread equally among all those deserving.
    I like all sorts of things...

    I wear clothes but I have a tremendous amount of them, so they are usually not a good gift idea unless it's something super unique. I'm a 2XLT in shirts, although since that's a weird size I often buy 3XL.

    I think that creativity is awesome, and highly enjoy anything that will show your skills/talents.

    I enjoy all sorts of games... videogames, card games, board games, etc. I don't have many card games that aren't CCGs, although I have the PA card games and some Munchkin, and Pirate FluXX. My board game collection includes things like Battlestar Galactica, Disaster Looms (with xpac and kickstarter stuff), along with Zombie Dice (with xpac), and Forbidden Island; I love games where you are co-operative against the "board". You can check out my Steam profile and XBL (in my sig) for the types of vidjagames I have enjoyed (I also have all the Mass Effects via Origin). I'm mainly a PC gamer these days for videogames although I have a 360, ps3, and wii. I'll probably be building a new rig in the next year which will likely take even more time away from console games. I just started playing pen and paper RPGs again, currently playing Marvel Heroic Roleplaying. I could always use more RPG supplies (dice, notebooks, etc).

    I love all sorts of universes like BSG, Doctor Who, Star Wars, Firefly, and the like. Various themed things along these lines could be shiny.

    I do have a pretty extensive book collection (including *almost* every Star Wars EU novel), so while I do love books I get them all the time and they may make redundant gifts (however I've included a few on my Amazon wishlist that I do not yet have).

    I highly enjoy good whiskey (scotch more than anything) and good gin.

    I tend to have a hard time with wishlists in general because by the time I decide I really want something I tend to just buy it on the spot. However, this past year has been insane since I've sold a house, moved twice in 6 months, changed states, and changed jobs.. I've fallen pretty far behind in the "buying shit for myself" category, which has made the creation of a wishlist a little easier. It's in my sig, and I'll be updating it some over the next week or so. I only ask that if you get something from my wishlist, that you mark it as purchased since I'm using this list for multiple exchanges and some friends and family.

    If you want someone to ask on the forums, I'd say that @chaosisorder, @punzie, @Moe Fwacky, and @burnttoast45 probably know me best

    zerzhul on
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    SmallLadySmallLady Registered User regular
    Jonoseel wrote: »
    Dear Cardboard tubing in the sky,

    What a successful year it has been, I got my Pax East And prime tickets.
    I have passion of camera lenses
    I love swag and candy(haribos are the best.)
    I love money and amazon gift cards.
    New computer parts re the best especially Keyboards and cooling.
    Old games consoles and games bring back memories i have a gamecube that is lonely and needs some games.
    I really like getting cool stuff so thank you

    With hip and a hop
    a bid you good day
    thank you very much


    FYI, you did not fill out your address correctly. Please submit again.

    "we're just doing what smalllady told us to do" - @Heels
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    faerielaurelynfaerielaurelyn Vancouver, BCRegistered User regular
    Dear Mr. Tube

    It's that time of year again, and I hope you'll look past those few incidents with the fire and that one time I lost my temper.

    Recently I have fallen in love with dice, having acquired Cthulu dice, zombie dice/xpac, and martian dice, but would love Amy other dice or card games to enhance my collection.

    I love all things faeries, and shiny things. I do have a steam account, though not much time with school to play :(

    I have a great love of stationary, office supplies, and pens - felt pens, fancy pens, colored pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks, sticky notes, etc. I have to make a strong effort of keeping myself away from Staples.

    My nerd cred is pretty low, so i am always open to new books, games, and other nerdery to help expand my nerd world.

    I also love chocolate, am not allergic to anything, wear a size small, and my favorite colors are red, purple, and black.

    A happy Festivus to you!


    No, YOU make ME a sandwich!
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    DashDDashD Dread Pirate Chef Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited November 2012
    Oh! Great and Marvelous Tube in the Sky!

    It has been many moons since we last spoke, and I feel as if we no longer know each other. However, as the Season of Bobcat is upon us, it is time to renew our relationship. If you will recall, I am most interested in all things culinary (particularly regional cookbooks and ingredients I cannot easily access in Seattle) and candy not available in the US. I am also a fan of *real* Star Wars memorabilia and all things Disney (we'll see how well that goes with the Star Wars obsession).

    Unfortunately, I do not own any consoles, and therefore have no use for any console games. But my edition of Monopoly from 1993 is getting mighty lonely sitting with only Cards Against Humanity for company and would greatly appreciate a new friend to share his shelf with.

    And before we say goodbye for the time being, I would like to thank SmallLady for granting me permission to participate in the Season of Bobcat Gift Exchange even though I have not met the required number of forum posts.


    DashD on

    "Brilliant! Oh wait, if we were meant to fly, we would have been born with little bags of nuts."
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