[Cards Against Humanity] Christmas Hangout Edition. YaYa Wins.

Grunt's Ghosts

A nun works well in a pitch if you don't have Madea to keep them kids on the straight and narrow.

@jdarksun is the Card Santa

The new Black Card is: What's a girl's best friend?

PM me your answers while jdarksun rolls out the chocolate and his copy of Sister's Act 3.

Grunt's Ghosts

Great Eyeliner, Fabulous Shoes, A Man with a Large Bank Account. Me? Cynical? Don't be ridiculous.

What's a girl's best friend? A monkey smoking a cigar (YaYa)
What's a girl's best friend? Emotions (facetious)
What's a girl's best friend? Insatiable Bloodlust (Dr. Flamingo)
What's a girl's best friend? Children on leashes (Man in the Mists)
What's a girl's best friend? Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon (Goose!)
What's a girl's best friend? Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse (Stilts: Winner)
What's a girl's best friend? Licking things to claim them as your own (see317)

So what is your best friend @jdarksun?

jdarksun

What's a girl's best friend? Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse

swoooooon

Grunt's Ghosts

I just found your erotica about him... Yeah. Maybe @Stilts would like them.

Stilts is the Card Santa

The new Black Card is: What does Dick Cheney prefer?

PM me which romcom Dick likes while Stilts avoids buckshot to the face for not picking George Clooney.

Grunt's Ghosts

Someone should have a Fox News white card made. It would be great for this question.

What does Dick Cheney prefer? Dick Cheney (Dr. Flamingo: Winner)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? Peeing a little bit (Man in the Mists)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes (Goose!)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? Helplessly giggling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis (facetious)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? Civilian Casualties (YaYa)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? Former President George W. Bush (see317)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? Revenge fucking (jdarksun)

What is the Old Dick's favorite thing, @Stilts ?

jdarksun

So much win.

Stilts

jdarksun wrote: »

So much win.

No kidding.

Some solid choices here, but I really love the simplicity and truthiness of "Dick Cheney."

Runners-up: "civilian casualties" and "former President George W. Bush"

see317

REally makes me wish there were points for being a runner up.

Man in the Mists

Clearly, Dick Cheney was an auto-win card this round.

Dr. Flamingo

One time that question came up in a game and I had the Dick Cheney card in hand... Aaaaaaand I was the Card Czar that round.

Grunt's Ghosts

Don't brag about winning a war when there are still cards in hands @Dr. Flamingo.

Dr. Flamingo is the Card Santa this round, but remember @Stilts has 4 out of the 5 points he (she? it?) needs to win.

The new Black Card is: But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you __________.

PM me your answers while the Dr. Flamingo calibrates his Death Ray on the Moon.

Grunt's Ghosts

This summer, see 007 survive the worst of humanity and get the girl.

But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you A Powerpoint Presentation. (YaYa)
But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you Special musical guest, Cher. (jdarksun: Winner)
But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you Half-assed foreplay. (facetious)
But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you Mufasa's death scene. (Man in the Mists)
But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you My humps. (see317)
But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you the "Bring It On" pentalogy. (Stilts)
But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you mopey zoo lion. (Goose!)

How will you kill James Bond and finally take over the world, @Dr. Flamingo?

Kaneski

Hah!

Dr. Flamingo

Hm, definitely Cher.

Grunt's Ghosts

Do you believe in life after love? I can hear the buzz of my death beam saying that you really aren't strong enough OH!

>.>

@jdarksun is the new Card Santa

The new Black Card is: I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for ___________.

PM me your answers while jdarksun and Cher run off on a magical spy mission.

Grunt's Ghosts

@YaYa must think he's too rich and busy to PM me.

Grunt's Ghosts

I'm too good to update this game anymore. Find a nerd to do it.

I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for MY EX-WIFE.
I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for dry heaving.
I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for Leprosy.
I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for Grandma.
I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for Inappropriate yodeling.
I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for existing.
I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for whining like a little bitch.

Not that I care but what are you too busy to do now that you are famous, @jdarksun?

jdarksun

I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for MY EX-WIFE.


It's easier lie to tell one's self.

Grunt's Ghosts

You are until the alimony hits you.

@YaYa is the Card Santa

The new Black Card is: Why am I sticky?

PM me your answers and we'll see if we can get YaYa cleaned up before court.

Grunt's Ghosts

Looks like they got in a... sticky situation. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Why am I sticky? A disappointing birthday party
Why am I sticky? Consensual sex
Why am I sticky? Full Frontal Nudity
Why am I sticky? Pabst blue ribbon
Why am I sticky? Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding
Why am I sticky? Edible underpants
Why am I sticky? Golden showers

What mess did you get into this time @YaYa?

YaYa

Butterscotch pudding is the best and most obvious cause of my stickiness

Grunt's Ghosts

There are a few of this cards that make me go "The hell where you thinking?" @Man in the Mists just played one.

Man in the Mists is the card santa

The new Black Card is: Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me _______.

PM me your cards while Man in the Mists calculates how much an enema will cost to clear butterscotch from harder to reach areas.

Grunt's Ghosts

Sorry I havent updated. Work is killing me, computer is dead, and its snowing (freezing rain kinda). I could use some money.

Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me Man in the Mists.
Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me hot cheese.
Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me a sweet spaceship.
Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me Preteens.
Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me a slightly shitter parallel universe.
Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me Weapons-grade plutonium..
Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me Panda sex.

So what's in your wallet @Man inthe Mists?

tzeentchling

Oh, if only money could buy me panda sex....

Man in the Mists

Maybe we can find you a panda planet, tzeentchling. We'll go there in my sweet space ride.

Grunt's Ghosts

And you also get @Goose! as a new alien space roommate. Or maybe that's the drugs talking.

Speaking of drugs: Goose! Is the new Card Santa

The new Black Card is: What's my anti-drug?

Pm me your answer while we rush Goose! to rehab. He said No, no, no.

Elvenshae

tzeentchling wrote: »

Oh, if only money could buy me panda sex....

As someone who has spent a lot of time at the National Zoo, I can assure that not even millions of dollars will guarantee panda sex.

Grunt's Ghosts

Poor @Stilts. Once you where playing CAH, then you started doing the hard stuff. Come back to us. We miss you.

Grunt's Ghosts

And you wish you could quit cause
You're really sick of it but you're
On drugs

What's my anti-drug? An icepick lobotomy
What's my anti-drug? Chugging a lava lamplamp
What's my anti-drug? Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up
What's my anti-drug? Winking at old people
What's my anti-drug? Michael Jackson
What's my anti-drug? Racism
What's my anti-drug? Goose!

What keeps you on the straight and narrow, @Goose!

Goose!

I will take 100% for everyone's sobriety forever. Congrats, vanity pick wins.

Grunt's Ghosts

Scores are updated in the OP but not the cards used to get them. @YaYa scared me too much with a picture of Goose! naked on a bearskin rug playing the saxophone.

YaYa is the Card Santa.

The new Black Card is: Dear Abby, I'm having trouble with _____ and would like your advice.

PM me your cards while YaYa asks for help on picking as 2 of them could end the game and 3 will create a 4 way tie for first.

Grunt's Ghosts

Dear Abby, I'm having trouble with @Stilts not giving me a card and would like your advice.

Grunt's Ghosts

Some of this got pass an editor? JJJ is slipping.

Dear Abby, I'm having trouble with Hipsters and would like your advice.
Dear Abby, I'm having trouble with A stray pube and would like your advice.
Dear Abby, I'm having trouble with Nazis and would like your advice.
Dear Abby, I'm having trouble with Panty Raids and would like your advice.
Dear Abby, I'm having trouble with Laying a egg and would like your advice.
Dear Abby, I'm having trouble with A murder most foul and would like your advice.
Dear Abby, I'm having trouble with All my friends dying and would like your advice.

What advice will you give now Abby @YaYa?

YaYa

when all your friends are dying, your best hope is to make only enemies

Grunt's Ghosts

Well, @see317 you might want to stop stabbing them in the back if you want to keep friends around.

see317 is the Card Santa.

The new Black Card is: What's there a ton of in heaven?

Send me your cards while see317 sees how many of his friends are up there.

see317

I was just thinking that anyone who still read Dear Abby was probably facing that problem through natural causes.

Grunt's Ghosts

Dear God, its me. Grunt. Yeah, that guy. Anyways, I know @Goose! and @YaYa are busy in heaven but if they could give me a card that would be great.

Oh, and world peace, feed the hungry kids, and forgive me for Saturday. And if you could cure this rash I got Saturday, that would be great.

Amen.

discrider

I'd say that the "All my friends dying" should've been held for this card, if it hadn't won the last round.

Grunt's Ghosts

Heaven seems busy. Mrs. DeeTen wants to live forever.

What's there a ton of in heaven? The gays
What's there a ton of in heaven? Friendly fire
What's there a ton of in heaven? Historical revisionism
What's there a ton of in heaven? Frolicking
What's there a ton of in heaven? Child beauty pageants
What's there a ton of in heaven? Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone
What's there a ton of in heaven? A black male in his early 20s last seen wearing a hoodie

All dogs might go to heaven, but what fills its masses @see317

see317

This is a hard one, but I now have it on good authority that there's a lot of historical revisionism going on up there.