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[Bad Jokes]

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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    October 21

    A fine line by Mark Twain...

    Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

    It's happening again.

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    He's been manic for a while now, time to swing the other way I guess.

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    facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    By the way, when the holiday forums go up I plan on making a thread. We shan't go without awful, depressing "jokes".

    [Bad Jokes] HO HO HO HO HO

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Robert Khoo wrote: »
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
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    destroyah87destroyah87 They/Them Preferred: She/Her - Please UseRegistered User regular
    edited October 2015
    facetious wrote: »
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    By the way, when the holiday forums go up I plan on making a thread. We shan't go without awful, depressing "jokes".

    [Bad Jokes] HO HO HEE HEE HO HO

    destroyah87 on
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    SyphyreSyphyre A Dangerous Pastime Registered User regular
    destroyah87 wrote: »
    facetious wrote: »
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    By the way, when the holiday forums go up I plan on making a thread. We shan't go without awful, depressing "jokes".

    [Bad Jokes] HO HO HEE HEE HO HO

    latest?cb=20090115114413

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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    I think it's just the situation is funny to imagine.

    Like how could that possibly be an accident?

    And the person has gone so far as to name the doll and somehow thinks the name is relevant information to give the 911 dispatcher.

    Huh, okay. I thought maybe the name was a pun somehow and it just wasn't clicking.

    BLM - ACAB
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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    By the way, when the holiday forums go up I plan on making a thread. We shan't go without awful, depressing "jokes".

    Miiiight be able to get a mod to move this thread there.

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    facetious wrote: »
    I saw this on tumblr.

    What do they call a council meeting in Rivendell?
    An Elrondezvouz.

    You beautiful bastard.

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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    knitdan wrote: »
    I think it's just the situation is funny to imagine.

    Like how could that possibly be an accident?

    And the person has gone so far as to name the doll and somehow thinks the name is relevant information to give the 911 dispatcher.

    Huh, okay. I thought maybe the name was a pun somehow and it just wasn't clicking.

    I frequently do this, frantically looking around thinking the joke's gone right over my head, when I never noticed it gently bump into my knee.

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    KaplarKaplar On Google MapsRegistered User regular
    Dec 31:

    Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    The sweet release of death.
    Thank you.

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    BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    No no, the final day will cut Josh's finger as he reveals it, signing the infernal blood pact that bound the previous writer and forcing Josh to follow in his dark work for the next year

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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    Look, Josh, if the joke on December 31st looks like a typo or gibberish, just.. maybe don't read it aloud, or write it up here. Maybe just toss that Eldritch spell right on the fire and don't transfer your soul to the emaciated, undying husk of the current writer.

    Maybe don't do that.

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    darleysam wrote: »
    Look, Josh, if the joke on December 31st looks like a typo or gibberish, just.. maybe don't read it aloud, or write it up here. Maybe just toss that Eldritch spell right on the fire and don't transfer your soul to the emaciated, undying husk of the current writer.

    Maybe don't do that.

    Or do, if you feel like it. We're not the boss of you.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    darleysam wrote: »
    Look, Josh, if the joke on December 31st looks like a typo or gibberish, just.. maybe don't read it aloud, or write it up here. Maybe just toss that Eldritch spell right on the fire and don't transfer your soul to the emaciated, undying husk of the current writer.

    Maybe don't do that.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgvXtexdgAM

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    facetious wrote: »
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    By the way, when the holiday forums go up I plan on making a thread. We shan't go without awful, depressing "jokes".

    [Bad Jokes] HO HO HO HO HO

    God dammit, I guess it was too obvious what I was gonna do

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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    Darth Waiter wrote: »
    darleysam wrote: »
    Look, Josh, if the joke on December 31st looks like a typo or gibberish, just.. maybe don't read it aloud, or write it up here. Maybe just toss that Eldritch spell right on the fire and don't transfer your soul to the emaciated, undying husk of the current writer.

    Maybe don't do that.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgvXtexdgAM

    Exactly the phrase I was thinking of.

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    SeolSeol Registered User regular
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    By the way, when the holiday forums go up I plan on making a thread. We shan't go without awful, depressing "jokes".
    Christmas is, after all, the season of bad jokes.

    You do get Christmas cracker jokes in the States, right?

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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Seol wrote: »
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    By the way, when the holiday forums go up I plan on making a thread. We shan't go without awful, depressing "jokes".
    Christmas is, after all, the season of bad jokes.

    You do get Christmas cracker jokes in the States, right?

    Nope.

    First time I learned about those cracker things was watching an episode of QI.

    BLM - ACAB
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    WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    I just burnt 1000 calories
    That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    edited October 2015
    Harry Potter taught me about 'em. It took me a while to realize it was an actual UK thing and not a made-up wizard thing.

    OmnipotentBagel on
    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited October 2015
    OmnipotentBagel wrote: »
    Harry Potter taught me about 'em. It took me a while to realize it was an actual UK thing and not a made-up wizard thing.

    Everything from the UK is a made up wizard thing.

    Christmas crackers.
    Good tasting chocolate.
    The Scottish

    MichaelLC on
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    WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick
    mostly because his name is Steve

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    edited October 2015
    October 22

    I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

    joshofalltrades on
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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    October 23

    I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

    Yeah alright that one's not bad.

    I mean 'seafood disco' is kind of a dumb setup but, hey.

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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    darleysam wrote: »
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    October 23

    I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

    Yeah alright that one's not bad.

    I mean 'seafood disco' is kind of a dumb setup but, hey.

    It works way better if you know that 'to pull' someone can mean you hooked up with them, so basically this guy went home and fucked a mollusk.

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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Houk wrote: »
    darleysam wrote: »
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    October 23

    I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

    Yeah alright that one's not bad.

    I mean 'seafood disco' is kind of a dumb setup but, hey.

    It works way better if you know that 'to pull' someone can mean you hooked up with them, so basically this guy went home and fucked a mollusk.

    Most things are better if you know that guy went home and fucked a mollusk

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Houk wrote: »
    darleysam wrote: »
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    October 23

    I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

    Yeah alright that one's not bad.

    I mean 'seafood disco' is kind of a dumb setup but, hey.

    It works way better if you know that 'to pull' someone can mean you hooked up with them, so basically this guy went home and fucked a mollusk.

    What I said was "he sleeps with the fishes." You see...

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    Houk wrote: »
    darleysam wrote: »
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    October 23

    I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

    Yeah alright that one's not bad.

    I mean 'seafood disco' is kind of a dumb setup but, hey.

    It works way better if you know that 'to pull' someone can mean you hooked up with them, so basically this guy went home and fucked a mollusk.

    As a Brit, I was expecting to have to explain that part!

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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Wait

    wait

    October 23?!

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    What about it?

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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Today's the 22nd, right?

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Yes! I don't see what that has to do with anything, though. ;)

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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    Yes! I don't see what that has to do with anything, though. ;)

    Fry_Looking_Squint.jpg

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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    SyphyreSyphyre A Dangerous Pastime Registered User regular
    I really need to ask how much that calendar cost.

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Syphyre wrote: »
    I really need to ask how much that calendar cost.

    The soul of a forsaken child

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    October 23

    It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

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    WordLustWordLust Fort Wayne, INRegistered User regular
    joshofalltrades wrote: »
    October 23

    It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

    Man, I hate when I get shipped and handled.

    Well, getting handled is okay, I guess.

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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Why are they called territorial disputes and not ground beef?

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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    destroyah87destroyah87 They/Them Preferred: She/Her - Please UseRegistered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    Why are they called territorial disputes and not ground beef?

    Or grounds for dispute. Grounds of dispute?

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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    There should be a daytime courtroom show with a judge named Jerry. Or Geri.

    Call it Trial by Jerry.

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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Penny Arcade Forums› Social Entropy++