i remember this sparking my interest in wanting internet in the first place
and then AOL was sending out those demo CDs and i convinced my ma to let me use her credit card to sign up
i looked up an aweful lot of porn those days, and i saw a lot of things i didn't realize were porn.
however, it was in an aol chatroom i met my first girlfriend and then the story takes a strange turn
I must read this.
Post post post.
back in the day aol had like a bazillion chatrooms
and thanks to their free month blitzes they were jumpin'
and there was a chatroom specifically for kitchener, the town i live in
so, naturally i went there regularely, and started knowin a crew of regs
one of them was this one chick, who i was sort of lamely flirtatious with (GIRLS ON THE INTERNET) and she was back.
then, when the free month expired, my mom wanted to cancel the AOL account and i was like noooooo
my internet girlfriend noooooo
so i found a compuserve free month deal, and switched, and i found out about AIM and that i could still talk to her through that.
this went on for a bit, and during this time it was a curious thing. we knew each other's genders, and, as a result of meeting in the kitchener chatroom, we knew we were from the same town, but never divulged age.
but, based on the things she spoke of (driving her own car, going out to the bar, stuff like that) i assumed she was 19, the minimum age at which these things were possible. wishful thinking, the closer she was to my age the more chance i could have of making her my real gir-frund.
she assumed i was 19 too, since she knew i lived with my parents, and had mentioned "graduating" in passing, was still in school, didn't have a vehicle, and was looking for a job. in actuality, by graduating i was referring to graduating from grade 8 and starting high school, but because i never mentioned this explicitly, she defaulted me to the oldest age those things made sense. so, i assumed she was 19, she assumed i was 19
i was 13
she was 26
gets better from here, too, but that's for another post so i am not text-blocking this place to death
whenever I meet a teenage asian girl for the first time I try to divine, without actually raising the subject, whether they are a fan of the harry potter movies (at my high school it seems like they all are)
I do this so that, if she is, I can leave before the conversation reaches a certain inevitable point
at some point while we speak, every one of the fans will begin to spend less and less time looking like she's thinking about the topic of conversation and gradually more time staring into my face in a way that she thinks is very stealthy and unobtrusive, looking as though she has seen me before and is trying to place me
after a few minutes her face will light up; she's figured it out. she'll interrupt whoever happens to be speaking to say "I've got it!"
if someone else is around they might ask "what?" but if it's just the two of us she'll get no such prompt, only a slight groan from me. either way, her eyes sparkling, she will say- in a tone that conveys perfectly the intense excitement she is feeling, in a tone that reveals that she hopes everyone is paying perfect attention because she is imparting information of incredible importance, something she is sure I have never heard before this moment- she will say or yell "YOU LOOK LIKE RON WEASLEY" and then she will stand there looking so infernally fucking pleased with herself like a puppy waiting to be rewarded for rolling over
no, you worthless fucking harpy, I don't, but you have seen maybe four people in your entire life with hair of a color other than black and you have watched those god damned movies probably a thousand fucking times and have no other experience of seeing someone with red hair
shit, I have been through this probably 20 times and it didn't even bother me at all the first few but it's so god damn inevitable jesus christ
Edit: So, we aren't even talking about Harry Potter or its fans any more. That's how long it took me to properly express how I feel about that.
Christ Pony, all I was doing at 13 was cybering pregnant married women in MUDs.
And now kids, this is why you should read a lot, so you won't look like you're 13 in text based rpgs and can hit on desperate guys that lie and say they're pregnant married women.
BYToady on
Battletag BYToady#1454
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ZeroFillFeeling much better.A nice, green leaf.Registered Userregular
whenever I meet a teenage asian girl for the first time I try to divine, without actually raising the subject, whether they are a fan of the harry potter movies (at my high school it seems like they all are)
I do this so that, if she is, I can leave before the conversation reaches a certain inevitable point
at some point while we speak, every one of the fans will begin to spend less and less time looking like she's thinking about the topic of conversation and gradually more time staring into my face in a way that she thinks is very stealthy and unobtrusive, looking as though she has seen me before and is trying to place me
after a few minutes her face will light up; she's figured it out. she'll interrupt whoever happens to be speaking to say "I've got it!"
if someone else is around they might ask "what?" but if it's just the two of us she'll get no such prompt, only a slight groan from me. either way, her eyes sparkling, she will say- in a tone that conveys perfectly the intense excitement she is feeling, in a tone that reveals that she hopes everyone is paying perfect attention because she is imparting information of incredible importance, something she is sure I have never heard before this moment- she will say or yell "YOU LOOK LIKE RON WEASLEY" and then she will stand there looking so infernally fucking pleased with herself like a puppy waiting to be rewarded for rolling over
no, you worthless fucking harpy, I don't, but you have seen maybe four people in your entire life with hair of a color other than black and you have watched those god damned movies probably a thousand fucking times and have no other experience of seeing someone with red hair
shit, I have been through this probably 20 times and it didn't even bother me at all the first few but it's so god damn inevitable jesus christ
her and i eventually decided to meet, at a tim hortons (donut shop for you non-Canadians) near my house
we discussed what each other would look like and what we'd be wearing, and we were gonna meet for coffee and then a movie later
we met, and she was rather alarmed to realize how young i was. her age didn't really bug me. she was quite attractive and looked much younger than 26, so it wasn't like my illusions were devastatingly shattered
so, we talked a bit, and she made it clear that this was pretty much not cool and that she didn't know i was 13 and this was all a big mistake oh god i hope nobody finds out, etc.
i felt kinda insulted and was sorta upset, and in her effort to try to make me feel better she decided to take me to the movies anyway, and after all that, we kept talking on AIM, decided to still be friends
we hung out a couple times after that. just as friends, you know? wasn't like she was dating a 13 year old even though she pretty much was and so far as i was concerned, she was my girlfriend.
then, the one evening we decided to just chill at her place and i made dinner (i'm a good cook, i was even at 13), and she decided, hey what the hell, we'll crack open some wine why not who cares
now, this wasn't the first time i tried wine or alcohol in general, but man, i am 13. two full glasses of a decent red puts me in a funny place. she wasn't blitzed or nothing, but had a decent buzz on.
so, we're sitting on the couch, and kinda cuddlin' a little, and i am like god damn it, to hell with this nonsexual friendship shit, i'm makin my move.
so i did, and she was initially kinda whoa what the nuh-uh well i guess that wasn't so bad eh who cares whatever let's just take it as it goes
and well
train going through tunnel
rocket ship taking off
hot dogs on a conveyor belt
stock film footage montage you know
anyway, next morning, she was like "well, shit, that ain't no big deal, we can keep doing this."
so we pretty much were datin' and foolin' for reals for a few months before the tragic ending
Is the tragic ending where Dateline leaps out of the bushes to ambush you and then realize that they got it all wrong, and they police kind of just stand around looking all bored and eventually go home?
BYToady on
Battletag BYToady#1454
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ZeroFillFeeling much better.A nice, green leaf.Registered Userregular
what happens is after a few months of being in a very sexual relationship with a 13 year old lad she comes to this conclusion that maybe, just maybe, this might be a bad idea and that society frowns on this sort of thing.
sort of thing that got driven home any time we were out together and some waitress or something would unknowingly refer to her as my mom or whatever. that couldn't have felt good.
so, not sure about her circumstance she goes to her sister for advice. not only does her sister tell her to end it immediately, she tells their father. her father goes batshit crazy, threatens to turn his own daughter in to the police as a child molestor unless she breaks up with me immediately and never speaks to me.
so that's what she did. broke my widdle heart, it did. was a major contributing factor to the series of events that led to my years of high school being pretty much a drug-soaked orgy of violence and bisexual sex
was a major contributing factor to the series of events that led to my years of high school being pretty much a drug-soaked orgy of violence and bisexual sex
Posts
i remember this sparking my interest in wanting internet in the first place
and then AOL was sending out those demo CDs and i convinced my ma to let me use her credit card to sign up
i looked up an aweful lot of porn those days, and i saw a lot of things i didn't realize were porn.
however, it was in an aol chatroom i met my first girlfriend and then the story takes a strange turn
I must read this.
Post post post.
Hint: I am fairly certain the person I am thinking of is real.
I would never pick up a chick at a bar. My standards aren't that low yet.
I don't even think I have standards anymore. I'd probably fuck anyone that told me they loved me.
back in the day aol had like a bazillion chatrooms
and thanks to their free month blitzes they were jumpin'
and there was a chatroom specifically for kitchener, the town i live in
so, naturally i went there regularely, and started knowin a crew of regs
one of them was this one chick, who i was sort of lamely flirtatious with (GIRLS ON THE INTERNET) and she was back.
then, when the free month expired, my mom wanted to cancel the AOL account and i was like noooooo
my internet girlfriend noooooo
so i found a compuserve free month deal, and switched, and i found out about AIM and that i could still talk to her through that.
this went on for a bit, and during this time it was a curious thing. we knew each other's genders, and, as a result of meeting in the kitchener chatroom, we knew we were from the same town, but never divulged age.
but, based on the things she spoke of (driving her own car, going out to the bar, stuff like that) i assumed she was 19, the minimum age at which these things were possible. wishful thinking, the closer she was to my age the more chance i could have of making her my real gir-frund.
she assumed i was 19 too, since she knew i lived with my parents, and had mentioned "graduating" in passing, was still in school, didn't have a vehicle, and was looking for a job. in actuality, by graduating i was referring to graduating from grade 8 and starting high school, but because i never mentioned this explicitly, she defaulted me to the oldest age those things made sense. so, i assumed she was 19, she assumed i was 19
i was 13
she was 26
gets better from here, too, but that's for another post so i am not text-blocking this place to death
You're asking for that much?
Did you get to fuck her?
Layin' the smooth on at 13.
I do this so that, if she is, I can leave before the conversation reaches a certain inevitable point
at some point while we speak, every one of the fans will begin to spend less and less time looking like she's thinking about the topic of conversation and gradually more time staring into my face in a way that she thinks is very stealthy and unobtrusive, looking as though she has seen me before and is trying to place me
after a few minutes her face will light up; she's figured it out. she'll interrupt whoever happens to be speaking to say "I've got it!"
if someone else is around they might ask "what?" but if it's just the two of us she'll get no such prompt, only a slight groan from me. either way, her eyes sparkling, she will say- in a tone that conveys perfectly the intense excitement she is feeling, in a tone that reveals that she hopes everyone is paying perfect attention because she is imparting information of incredible importance, something she is sure I have never heard before this moment- she will say or yell "YOU LOOK LIKE RON WEASLEY" and then she will stand there looking so infernally fucking pleased with herself like a puppy waiting to be rewarded for rolling over
no, you worthless fucking harpy, I don't, but you have seen maybe four people in your entire life with hair of a color other than black and you have watched those god damned movies probably a thousand fucking times and have no other experience of seeing someone with red hair
shit, I have been through this probably 20 times and it didn't even bother me at all the first few but it's so god damn inevitable jesus christ
Edit: So, we aren't even talking about Harry Potter or its fans any more. That's how long it took me to properly express how I feel about that.
terrible beat poetry
And now kids, this is why you should read a lot, so you won't look like you're 13 in text based rpgs and can hit on desperate guys that lie and say they're pregnant married women.
all you round-eyes look the same
Not because you're bitching, but because I get that shit except I'm Harry Potter.
If we got together we'd probably have to kill each other.
buttsex
You keep making up boyfriends and girlfriends that I somehow never knew about
I will never believe you
it's just a phase
you'll grow out of it
plus if it was just anal you still have your real virginity teehee!
nothing gets by you does it
we discussed what each other would look like and what we'd be wearing, and we were gonna meet for coffee and then a movie later
we met, and she was rather alarmed to realize how young i was. her age didn't really bug me. she was quite attractive and looked much younger than 26, so it wasn't like my illusions were devastatingly shattered
so, we talked a bit, and she made it clear that this was pretty much not cool and that she didn't know i was 13 and this was all a big mistake oh god i hope nobody finds out, etc.
i felt kinda insulted and was sorta upset, and in her effort to try to make me feel better she decided to take me to the movies anyway, and after all that, we kept talking on AIM, decided to still be friends
we hung out a couple times after that. just as friends, you know? wasn't like she was dating a 13 year old even though she pretty much was and so far as i was concerned, she was my girlfriend.
then, the one evening we decided to just chill at her place and i made dinner (i'm a good cook, i was even at 13), and she decided, hey what the hell, we'll crack open some wine why not who cares
now, this wasn't the first time i tried wine or alcohol in general, but man, i am 13. two full glasses of a decent red puts me in a funny place. she wasn't blitzed or nothing, but had a decent buzz on.
so, we're sitting on the couch, and kinda cuddlin' a little, and i am like god damn it, to hell with this nonsexual friendship shit, i'm makin my move.
so i did, and she was initially kinda whoa what the nuh-uh well i guess that wasn't so bad eh who cares whatever let's just take it as it goes
and well
train going through tunnel
rocket ship taking off
hot dogs on a conveyor belt
stock film footage montage you know
anyway, next morning, she was like "well, shit, that ain't no big deal, we can keep doing this."
so we pretty much were datin' and foolin' for reals for a few months before the tragic ending
crunch crunch
farside guess how many sexual partners I have had (oral included)
gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
Farside I just do not believe all of this magical out of nowhere sexual experience you're claiming
Incorrect!
5 is the correct answer (7 if you include handies)
really
thats like counting the times you almost won the lotto
what happens is after a few months of being in a very sexual relationship with a 13 year old lad she comes to this conclusion that maybe, just maybe, this might be a bad idea and that society frowns on this sort of thing.
sort of thing that got driven home any time we were out together and some waitress or something would unknowingly refer to her as my mom or whatever. that couldn't have felt good.
so, not sure about her circumstance she goes to her sister for advice. not only does her sister tell her to end it immediately, she tells their father. her father goes batshit crazy, threatens to turn his own daughter in to the police as a child molestor unless she breaks up with me immediately and never speaks to me.
so that's what she did. broke my widdle heart, it did. was a major contributing factor to the series of events that led to my years of high school being pretty much a drug-soaked orgy of violence and bisexual sex
But a 26 year old woman fucking a 13 year old boy? h5's all around.
so all in all, a happy ending