"I haven’t been in many [drinking contests], but the most famous one, I suppose is the one I engaged in with Sen. John McCain when he and I were on a congressional delegation and he kind of challenged me. We have our political differences, but we sat there drinking vodka. We both I think agreed to withdraw in honorable fashion I think after having reached the limits that either of us should have had." -- Hillary Clinton
Jeez... Just... Jesus Fucking Christ, this election has been a cluster-fuck of insanity. Imagine a sharknado but the sharks are insane people. The press at large have failed in their duties, the nation is split like no other time in our contemporary history and doesn't it all just want to make you DRINK?
Well buckle up and fill your cup because starting Monday September 26th, we get our first official match-up between the GOP's Donald John Trump and the Democrat's Hillary Rodham Clinton. Following that the debate schedule looks like Tuesday October 4th ( between their vice presidential running-mates), Sunday October 9th and their final battle on Wednesday October 19, 2016. Some of you may be questioning the entertainment value of a presidential debate and, oh boy... Its like a real life oratory-version of all those Dragon Ball Z fights you grew up watching. You're going to watch a battle of rhetoric between two people who despise each other publicly but are likely sort-of-okay with each other privately. It's going to be YUGE!!!.
The Rules
#1. Take a drink if Trump insults/attacks his opponent, a group of people and/or the moderators.
#2. Take a drink for every reference to Clinton's email scandal, Benghazi, Trump University, or the Clinton Foundation.
#3. Take a shot if Trump brings up Bill Clinton's sex scandal from the 1990's or if Hillary outright calls Donald Trump a fascist/demagogue.
The Drinks
#1. The Trump: For the New York real-estate mogul you're only going to drink the best. The best. I mean, really the best stuff. They tell me folks everywhere love it. Love it. They love it. You'll be serving yourself up a Hairy Navel because it's orange, features "hair" in its title and if you could track it down, can be made with Trump Vodka (I wish I could...). 3/4 oz. vodka, 3/4 oz. peach schnapps and orange juice.
#2. The Chillary: For the former New York senator and secretary of state we've heard she is a fan of ice cold vodka martinis. I won't list out the recipe because its just your bog-standard vodka martini (she prefers it shaken, like Bond) but do make sure it is cold enough to freeze any doubts you may have in yourself.
The Food
There are so many options... Just... Holy shit, where do we start? Obviously you could buy some really cheap/low-grade steaks and just pretend that they are the best. Just the best, the best. Taco bowls are an obvious pick as is KFC, just make sure they are mass produced. And for the blue-side, Hillary is a big fan of spicy food so I'm going to recommend a cheese burger with: pepper jack, jalapenos, hot sauce, ect.. Hillary likes her drinks cold and her food hot, she's like the Song of Fire & Ice made corporeal.
@Zonugal Would you mind putting this on Facebook? I'm heading out of town this weekend, and I want to be able to tell my hosts what to go shopping for before I get there.
EDIT: I also don't want to get blamed for this want to give credit where credit is due
chromdom on
+2
Zonugal(He/Him) The Holiday ArmadilloI'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered Userregular
Realizing lately that I don't really trust or respect basically any of the moderators here. So, good luck with life, friends! Hit me up on Twitter @DesertLeviathan
+28
Johnny ChopsockyScootaloo! We have to cook!Grillin' HaysenburgersRegistered Userregular
Hillary just walks up to him and hands him a knife, wrenching open her tasteful Armani suit jacket and commanding him to stab it into her heart and he starts crying and then she just kinda gently pushes him over and declares that he HAS NO HONOR.
Last page this felt like a silly over the top reaction, but now it almost seems reasonable considering that he keeps suggesting that people will or would kill her without protection.
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ShadowenSnores in the morningLoserdomRegistered Userregular
Even if there wasn't a threat implied in that statement, Donald, those men with guns surrounding her are Secret Service. They have had some intensive training and probably some of the most extensive background checks on the planet, you dumb fuck.
Trump said that "Clinton lives behind gates and walls and guards" and that working-class families "just want a fraction of the security enjoyed by our politicians and certainly enjoyed by her."
This idea that Trump is just "regular folk" is one of the most absurd things about his campaign.
Even if there wasn't a threat implied in that statement, Donald, those men with guns surrounding her are Secret Service. They have had some intensive training and probably some of the most extensive background checks on the planet, you dumb fuck.
There's a persistent myth among hardcore conservatives that instead of just wanting to implement stronger background checks and make it harder for unstable and criminal people to get them, Clinton wants to completely ban all guns.
Peace to fashion police, I wear my heart
On my sleeve, let the runway start
Trump said that "Clinton lives behind gates and walls and guards" and that working-class families "just want a fraction of the security enjoyed by our politicians and certainly enjoyed by her."
This idea that Trump is just "regular folk" is one of the most absurd things about his campaign.
Like, top 50 maybe.
The dog whistling is what gets me on that one. Security from what, precisely?
Trump said that "Clinton lives behind gates and walls and guards" and that working-class families "just want a fraction of the security enjoyed by our politicians and certainly enjoyed by her."
This idea that Trump is just "regular folk" is one of the most absurd things about his campaign.
Like, top 50 maybe.
The dog whistling is what gets me on that one. Security from what, precisely?
All this gun talk makes me want to strap mine to my hip while I drink beer and grill in the driveway in my crocs listening to William Clark Green radio on Pandora
You know, for the true Americana experience
diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
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PwnanObrienHe's right, life sucks.Registered Userregular
I saw a guy walk out of a bathroom stall and accidentally smack his concealed carry gun against his massive gut and then the sink as he was trying to straighten his shirt and check his fly today.
Don't worry America. Your safety in public places is guarded under the watchful vigil of a guy who almost shot his own dick off trying to adjust his pants.
Trump said that "Clinton lives behind gates and walls and guards" and that working-class families "just want a fraction of the security enjoyed by our politicians and certainly enjoyed by her."
This idea that Trump is just "regular folk" is one of the most absurd things about his campaign.
Like, top 50 maybe.
The dog whistling is what gets me on that one. Security from what, precisely?
Even if there wasn't a threat implied in that statement, Donald, those men with guns surrounding her are Secret Service. They have had some intensive training and probably some of the most extensive background checks on the planet, you dumb fuck.
He knows, because they're protecting him as well. The Dem and Repub candidates both get protection.
That argument got brought up all the time with Obama too. Totally unoriginal.
It gets brought up with literally anyone who is famous but speaks out against guns. It got brought up against Rosie O'Donnel because she pays bodyguards who are armed so her kids are safe.
I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.
I saw a guy walk out of a bathroom stall and accidentally smack his concealed carry gun against his massive gut and then the sink as he was trying to straighten his shirt and check his fly today.
Don't worry America. Your safety in public places is guarded under the watchful vigil of a guy who almost shot his own dick off trying to adjust his pants.
Posts
@Zonugal Would you mind putting this on Facebook? I'm heading out of town this weekend, and I want to be able to tell my hosts what to go shopping for before I get there.
EDIT: I also don't want to get blamed for this want to give credit where credit is due
I'm going to wait till we're closer to the debate to post in on the ol' facebook.
Monday the 16th of September.
Ten days away.
Well don't I feel foolish.
Ha ha, today's the 16th. I think you mean the 26th.
On my sleeve, let the runway start
Puzzled sure. Not surprised.
Oh shit....
Also this is where I find out Any Richter the person is not as jolly as his Conan character.
pleasepaypreacher.net
Holy fucking shit!
What
The
Actual
Fuck
Steam ID XBL: JohnnyChopsocky PSN:Stud_Beefpile WiiU:JohnnyChopsocky
This comment feels almost tame in comparison
Countdown till someone from the production tells him to eff off.
Maybe Schonberg?
Last page this felt like a silly over the top reaction, but now it almost seems reasonable considering that he keeps suggesting that people will or would kill her without protection.
This idea that Trump is just "regular folk" is one of the most absurd things about his campaign.
Like, top 50 maybe.
There's a persistent myth among hardcore conservatives that instead of just wanting to implement stronger background checks and make it harder for unstable and criminal people to get them, Clinton wants to completely ban all guns.
On my sleeve, let the runway start
The dog whistling is what gets me on that one. Security from what, precisely?
Maniacs with guns.
Maybe you are not the sort of person who ought to have guns
You know, for the true Americana experience
Don't worry America. Your safety in public places is guarded under the watchful vigil of a guy who almost shot his own dick off trying to adjust his pants.
Aka Patriots.
He knows, because they're protecting him as well. The Dem and Repub candidates both get protection.
As I know it's your job but it must suck to be assignened to him
It gets brought up with literally anyone who is famous but speaks out against guns. It got brought up against Rosie O'Donnel because she pays bodyguards who are armed so her kids are safe.
pleasepaypreacher.net
theyre just asking the tough and insane questions
just like the Founding Fathers intended
(assuming he was white and owns land)