The masses deserve contempt for devouring this nearly Transformers monstrosity.
I'm absolutely on the side of criticising the hell out of lazy, pandering shit - but this sort of arrogant, high and mighty bullshit has no place in criticism. There can be an appeal in trash and in mediocrity, and there's nothing morally off about this. Criticism should be about understanding art, not about judging audiences and feeling superior to them.
"Nothing is gonna save us forever but a lot of things can save us today." - Night in the Woods
Hmm, I dunno. It seemed like they were trying to ascribe actual malice to the dino at times, namely the cage escape, sibling cannibalism back story, and the needless killing.
I definitely see where you're coming from, though, and the earlier movies were definitely like that.
The masses deserve contempt for devouring this nearly Transformers monstrosity.
I'm absolutely on the side of criticising the hell out of lazy, pandering shit - but this sort of arrogant, high and mighty bullshit has no place in criticism. There can be an appeal in trash and in mediocrity, and there's nothing morally off about this. Criticism should be about understanding art, not about judging audiences and feeling superior to them.
There's a difference between doing this with trash movies and trash movies which relish in 'isms. JW was all up in sexism. That's why it's immoral. I'm not saying they shouldn't be able to make these movies, but they sure don't deserve encouragement from either the creators or the audience who feeds off this behavior. Media has grown over the decades, we're more self aware now of these issues - they're not ignored like they were in the 80's or 90's.
The masses deserve contempt for devouring this nearly Transformers monstrosity.
I'm absolutely on the side of criticising the hell out of lazy, pandering shit - but this sort of arrogant, high and mighty bullshit has no place in criticism. There can be an appeal in trash and in mediocrity, and there's nothing morally off about this. Criticism should be about understanding art, not about judging audiences and feeling superior to them.
There's a difference between doing this with trash movies and trash movies which relish in 'isms. JW was all up in sexism. That's why it's immoral. I'm not saying they shouldn't be able to make these movies, but they sure don't deserve encouragement from either the creators or the audience who feeds off this behavior. Media has grown over the decades, we're more self aware now of these issues - they're not ignored like they were in the 80's or 90's.
I agree: criticise the film. But the moment you talk about "the masses deserv[ing] contempt for devouring this nearly Transformers monstrosity", you not only act like a massive goose, you also reduce any chance you might have to argue your point with anyone who doesn't already agree to begin with.
Thirith on
"Nothing is gonna save us forever but a lot of things can save us today." - Night in the Woods
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knitdanIn ur baseKillin ur guysRegistered Userregular
Or the xenonorphs in the Alien series.
“I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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daveNYCWhy universe hate Waspinator?Registered Userregular
Hmm, I dunno. It seemed like they were trying to ascribe actual malice to the dino at times, namely the cage escape, sibling cannibalism back story, and the needless killing.
I definitely see where you're coming from, though, and the earlier movies were definitely like that.
The earlier movies established the human baddie early on in the movie by having them do something obviously malicious. JW had D'Onofrio being a dick, but nothing quite as overt as say stealing dino embryos and turning off all the security. And then that got muddled because the I. Rex was a murdering ninja.
Shut up, Mr. Burton! You were not brought upon this world to get it!
Re: Conan
A major component of successful fantasy movies is getting the audience to buy in to that world, and Arnie wins us over just by being himself. Dude has impossible physical properties. Luke Skywalker looks nothing like he does in the SW poster, but Arnie looks like his. Beyond muscles, Arnie is not a bad looking dude, in a way, what with that jawline. The cherry topping is his exotic accent. Combine all this with the fact that Arnie CAN act, and you get a pulp comic character come to big screen life.
Re: JW
In short, in addition to thinking JW is not horrible, I basically agree with Thirith. I haven't read the D&D stuff about it yet but I did not get any sexism from that movie. It's entirely possible that's my fault. I'll post more later about that.
Arnie is a terrific physical presence but he kinda makes a hash of most dialogue beyond short, declarative sentences. I love that speech at the end, though. Thinking about it, I love the conversation between Subotai and Conan about their respective Gods as well. Not least because it gives Subotai the last word.
Conan: Crom laughs at your four winds. Laughs from his mountain.
Subotai: Ha, my god is stronger--he is the everlasting sky. Your god lives underneath it.
Conan just sort of looks sullenly back at Subotai after this.
I watched 13 Assassins over the weekend. I don't remember who recommended it but holy shit you were on point. That movie was great from beginning to end. I really like how the entire movie was shot too.
Conan the Barbarian was on late night TV on Saturday, so I watched it again.
:^:
The sequel, Conan the Destroyer, is a bit rubbish, much more a generic fantasy plot with generic fantasy characters and it loses entirely the grandeur of the first movie.
I will never forgive it for the line, "The promise I was kingdomed."
Arnie is a terrific physical presence but he kinda makes a hash of most dialogue beyond short, declarative sentences. I love that speech at the end, though. Thinking about it, I love the conversation between Subotai and Conan about their respective Gods as well. Not least because it gives Subotai the last word.
Conan: Crom laughs at your four winds. Laughs from his mountain.
Subotai: Ha, my god is stronger--he is the everlasting sky. Your god lives underneath it.
Conan just sort of looks sullenly back at Subotai after this.
Accompanied by one of the best pieces in an amazing soundtrack, "Theology."
I quite like the mirror fight, and I always have time for Pat Roach turning up and getting killed in an interesting way, but there's surprisingly little to like about the sequel, even for a fan of the genre, beyond the score.
I guess I like Grace Jones in it, but that's because she's Grace Jones.
Arnie is a terrific physical presence but he kinda makes a hash of most dialogue beyond short, declarative sentences. I love that speech at the end, though. Thinking about it, I love the conversation between Subotai and Conan about their respective Gods as well. Not least because it gives Subotai the last word.
Conan: Crom laughs at your four winds. Laughs from his mountain.
Subotai: Ha, my god is stronger--he is the everlasting sky. Your god lives underneath it.
Conan just sort of looks sullenly back at Subotai after this.
His speech is great but there's some great moments of silent presence.
Like when he's sharpening the sword, when he looks out across the plains after he's healed and then watches his own fist clench and unclench... if you consider Conan as a character with hidden depth that's almost philosophical (and I do) Arnie really shows that well.
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BlackDragon480Bluster KerfuffleMaster of Windy ImportRegistered Userregular
I quite like the mirror fight, and I always have time for Pat Roach turning up and getting killed in an interesting way, but there's surprisingly little to like about the sequel, even for a fan of the genre, beyond the score.
I guess I like Grace Jones in it, but that's because she's Grace Jones.
Best shit to come out of The Destroyer were the off the set stories centering on Wilt, Arnold, and Andre the Giant (who played Dagoth in the climax). Drinking and eating with them would've been a life changing experience. And then there's this photo:
For a sense of scale, Arnold is a shade over 6'1".
No matter where you go...there you are. ~ Buckaroo Banzai
I liked 13 Assassins up to the awful CGI bulls. Like, I get it. You can't do that with real bulls. Too dangerous, cruel, etc. You can atleast make it look better them 2009-era video game.
Otherwise, fantastic movie. Though Harakiri is still the penultimate of anti-samurai films in my mind.
Conan the Barbarian is also fun just as a who's who of 70s bodybuilders. Watch it right after Pumping Iron and you'll pick out a lot of familiar faces, if you can see through the bad fake moustaches.
It was enjoyable enough when Star-lord was on screen and I could pretend it was a Guardians movie where he was stranded on Earth and needed a raptor crew for some space shit.
Everything else, not so much. The kids, the horrible babysitter, the horrible way the horrible babysitter got eaten by dinosaurs, the horrible aunt who looked like young Juliette Moore but with none of the charisma, the terminally stupid scientists.
The best thing about Jurassic World was the meta-commentary where they were talking about how they kept needing to make bigger and better dinosaurs because after so many years the populace had become bored with what had originally been groundbreaking. Just like the film series.
And I'm pretty sure that wasn't even intentional.
To be fair, head scientist guy wasn't stupid, he just liked money and wasn't particularly concerned when his creations ran amok. He did, after all, skedaddle on a helicopter as soon as the mayhem started, with assurances that he'd be able to continue his work (if I'm remembering this correctly).
I'm waiting for him to turn into this guy:
I feel like people forget that jurrasic world was going to have the same plot, but the raptor team was going to be dino/men hybrids created for PMC's. They had concept art and everything. The next movie is totally just going to be the same plot as JW but with hybrids.
It was enjoyable enough when Star-lord was on screen and I could pretend it was a Guardians movie where he was stranded on Earth and needed a raptor crew for some space shit.
Everything else, not so much. The kids, the horrible babysitter, the horrible way the horrible babysitter got eaten by dinosaurs, the horrible aunt who looked like young Juliette Moore but with none of the charisma, the terminally stupid scientists.
The best thing about Jurassic World was the meta-commentary where they were talking about how they kept needing to make bigger and better dinosaurs because after so many years the populace had become bored with what had originally been groundbreaking. Just like the film series.
And I'm pretty sure that wasn't even intentional.
To be fair, head scientist guy wasn't stupid, he just liked money and wasn't particularly concerned when his creations ran amok. He did, after all, skedaddle on a helicopter as soon as the mayhem started, with assurances that he'd be able to continue his work (if I'm remembering this correctly).
I'm waiting for him to turn into this guy:
I feel like people forget that jurrasic world was going to have the same plot, but the raptor team was going to be dino/men hybrids created for PMC's. They had concept art and everything. The next movie is totally just going to be the same plot as JW but with hybrids.
In the interests of completeness I have re-watched Conan the Destroyer as well. It's still really bad.
I noticed that some edits in the final battle scene on the DVD version of Conan the Barbarian I have seemed a bit brutal, and I find that there are some cuts in the UK release, mostly because of nasty looking horse falls. Cruelty to animals is bad, and the cuts kinda make the battle of the mounds a little clumsy when the uncut version flow beautifully.
Why on Earth didn't I post the score? If you're opening a movie that is trying to portray the mythic, this kind of trumpets blaring drums thudding soaring strings milarky is what you need.
The score for Conan the Destroyer isn't as good as that one, but it's still pretty good. It's music that fits a less mythic, more generic movie, but it does an excellent job of it.
TexiKenDammit!That fish really got me!Registered Userregular
He was Mr. Lee in Sidekicks!
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Ninja Snarl PMy helmet is my burden.Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered Userregular
Mystifies me to this day why something like Conan the Barbarian remains such a solidly entertaining piece of fantasy film despite the time it was made in, and why it's such a struggle to make something modern that matches it. By all rights, it should've been something worthy of showing up on MST3K, but instead it's just a pretty dang good film with a really damn good soundtrack.
I guess the modern studio viewpoint that any fantasy film has to be packed wall-to-wall with CG, magic shit, and overdone action scenes sort of kills the ability to have something like Conan these days.
Momentum is a movie that seemed to be very heavily pushed in the DVD/BD sections of some British supermarkets for quite a while, catching the eye by prominently featuring its star Olga Kurylenko on the cover. When I saw it for pocket change in a second-hand store, I thought, what the hell, let's give it a punt.
It's more interesting for off-camera trivia than as a movie. Per Wiki: it's the directorial debut of Stephen Campanelli, who used to be a cameraman for Clint Eastwood. This is why Morgan Freeman offered to be in it. It actually did see a UK theatrical release; in 10 cinemas. It grossed £46. That's not a typo.
It's not Uwe Boll levels of dreck, though. It's a by the numbers thriller, with Kurylenko doing one last heist that accidentally includes a MacGuffin in its haul and goes wrong and she gets relentlessly pursued by James Purefoy who's working for Freeman's corrupt US senator. Seriously, you can play cliché bingo with this thing. But, in amongst all that, it's not completely devoid of interesting ideas; it has some good sets and locations; and some genuinely uncomfortably sadistic levels of violence on occasion too.
Freeman is in it for barely a few minutes, and even though you get the impression he's phoning it in a bit, he's still Morgan goddamn Freeman when it comes down to it. Purefoy gets to be a properly slimy main antagonist, and can be scarily psychopathic at times. But Kurylenko, who I've always rated ever since Quantum of Solace, among other less noteworthy fare, turns in a performance that is far, far better than the movie deserves. Despite all the clichés and the wafer-thin plot, she sells every single moment above and beyond. Whether she was giving it her all in the hope that the movie would kick off a franchise (it leaves itself open for sequels at the end because of course it does), or she's just that damn good, she's definitely the best thing on offer here.
There's a couple of nice little double-crosses that were fun to see play out, a mostly good pace (hence the title, I suppose), and some decent action when the rapid-fire quick cuts abate long enough to let you actually see it.
The disc is as bare-bones as they come, and the lack of subtitles was really annoying given that the dialogue could often be a bit indistinct, which is why I'm noting it. Hopefully that's not an issue if you find it on a streaming service but be forewarned.
So if you're in the mood for a passable, throwaway action thriller with a great lead that you probably do remember and who deserves far, far better things in her career, you could do worse.
cj iwakuraThe Rhythm RegentBears The Name FreedomRegistered Userregular
Took my father to see Guardians 2 since he's a sci-fi nut(but he never saw the original, not that I think it mattered to him).
It really did meander around a lot. It's FUN, but... unfocused.
Also, they really went a bit too far with making Ego Evil McEvilFace. Good god, did he really have to murder his wife on top of everything else? That was a bit beyond the pale.
But in a weird way, this built up Thanos better than any other MCU film thanks to Nebula's insight into what he did to her. And he's not even in it.
+1
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Ninja Snarl PMy helmet is my burden.Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered Userregular
Took my father to see Guardians 2 since he's a sci-fi nut(but he never saw the original, not that I think it mattered to him).
It really did meander around a lot. It's FUN, but... unfocused.
Also, they really went a bit too far with making Ego Evil McEvilFace. Good god, did he really have to murder his wife on top of everything else? That was a bit beyond the pale.
But in a weird way, this built up Thanos better than any other MCU film thanks to Nebula's insight into what he did to her. And he's not even in it.
I thought the bit with him killing his wife was worthwhile since it highlighted both the insanity inflicted on him by isolated immortality and the fact that he very nearly let the whole plan fall apart because of one person he cared about. He literally had to kill someone he loved so he couldn't be tempted to go back and stay with them until he died. It made him less of Evil McEvilFace and instead made him something of a victim of his own endless existence.
If he'd felt just a little bit differently, he would've ended up staying and dying on Earth with his family, instead of sticking with an insane plan to basically kill the galaxy. He wasn't unfeeling and unflinchingly evil, he was just super-fucked-up by being alone so much for so long.
Ninja Snarl P on
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FencingsaxIt is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understandingGNU Terry PratchettRegistered Userregular
Took my father to see Guardians 2 since he's a sci-fi nut(but he never saw the original, not that I think it mattered to him).
It really did meander around a lot. It's FUN, but... unfocused.
Also, they really went a bit too far with making Ego Evil McEvilFace. Good god, did he really have to murder his wife on top of everything else? That was a bit beyond the pale.
But in a weird way, this built up Thanos better than any other MCU film thanks to Nebula's insight into what he did to her. And he's not even in it.
Gamora and Nebula are absolutely the best part of the movie
+4
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AtomikaLive fast and get fucked or whateverRegistered Userregular
I'm watching The Founder right now and I'm embarrassed for everyone
Posts
"Nothing is gonna save us forever but a lot of things can save us today." - Night in the Woods
A hazard.
Villains in JP are more like BD Wong or Vincent D'Onofrio. They create the problems that everyone else has to deal with, and/or exacerbate them.
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
I definitely see where you're coming from, though, and the earlier movies were definitely like that.
There's a difference between doing this with trash movies and trash movies which relish in 'isms. JW was all up in sexism. That's why it's immoral. I'm not saying they shouldn't be able to make these movies, but they sure don't deserve encouragement from either the creators or the audience who feeds off this behavior. Media has grown over the decades, we're more self aware now of these issues - they're not ignored like they were in the 80's or 90's.
"Nothing is gonna save us forever but a lot of things can save us today." - Night in the Woods
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
The earlier movies established the human baddie early on in the movie by having them do something obviously malicious. JW had D'Onofrio being a dick, but nothing quite as overt as say stealing dino embryos and turning off all the security. And then that got muddled because the I. Rex was a murdering ninja.
A major component of successful fantasy movies is getting the audience to buy in to that world, and Arnie wins us over just by being himself. Dude has impossible physical properties. Luke Skywalker looks nothing like he does in the SW poster, but Arnie looks like his. Beyond muscles, Arnie is not a bad looking dude, in a way, what with that jawline. The cherry topping is his exotic accent. Combine all this with the fact that Arnie CAN act, and you get a pulp comic character come to big screen life.
Re: JW
In short, in addition to thinking JW is not horrible, I basically agree with Thirith. I haven't read the D&D stuff about it yet but I did not get any sexism from that movie. It's entirely possible that's my fault. I'll post more later about that.
Conan just sort of looks sullenly back at Subotai after this.
Choose Your Own Chat 1 Choose Your Own Chat 2 Choose Your Own Chat 3
Yeah well he kicked all your Nazi asses in 'Nam!
:^:
I will never forgive it for the line, "The promise I was kingdomed."
Accompanied by one of the best pieces in an amazing soundtrack, "Theology."
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
I guess I like Grace Jones in it, but that's because she's Grace Jones.
Choose Your Own Chat 1 Choose Your Own Chat 2 Choose Your Own Chat 3
Critical Failures - Havenhold Campaign • August St. Cloud (Human Ranger)
His speech is great but there's some great moments of silent presence.
Like when he's sharpening the sword, when he looks out across the plains after he's healed and then watches his own fist clench and unclench... if you consider Conan as a character with hidden depth that's almost philosophical (and I do) Arnie really shows that well.
Best shit to come out of The Destroyer were the off the set stories centering on Wilt, Arnold, and Andre the Giant (who played Dagoth in the climax). Drinking and eating with them would've been a life changing experience. And then there's this photo:
For a sense of scale, Arnold is a shade over 6'1".
~ Buckaroo Banzai
Otherwise, fantastic movie. Though Harakiri is still the penultimate of anti-samurai films in my mind.
Steam | XBL
I feel like people forget that jurrasic world was going to have the same plot, but the raptor team was going to be dino/men hybrids created for PMC's. They had concept art and everything. The next movie is totally just going to be the same plot as JW but with hybrids.
Made for a great cartoon though
Get the fuck outta here
Did I resurrect some bad memories?
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
I noticed that some edits in the final battle scene on the DVD version of Conan the Barbarian I have seemed a bit brutal, and I find that there are some cuts in the UK release, mostly because of nasty looking horse falls. Cruelty to animals is bad, and the cuts kinda make the battle of the mounds a little clumsy when the uncut version flow beautifully.
Choose Your Own Chat 1 Choose Your Own Chat 2 Choose Your Own Chat 3
This is a superior clip, mostly because it has Mako's speech before the theme music.
Still one of the best intros to a movie ever.
I will not hear any shit talk on MAKO!
pleasepaypreacher.net
I guess the modern studio viewpoint that any fantasy film has to be packed wall-to-wall with CG, magic shit, and overdone action scenes sort of kills the ability to have something like Conan these days.
It's more interesting for off-camera trivia than as a movie. Per Wiki: it's the directorial debut of Stephen Campanelli, who used to be a cameraman for Clint Eastwood. This is why Morgan Freeman offered to be in it. It actually did see a UK theatrical release; in 10 cinemas. It grossed £46. That's not a typo.
It's not Uwe Boll levels of dreck, though. It's a by the numbers thriller, with Kurylenko doing one last heist that accidentally includes a MacGuffin in its haul and goes wrong and she gets relentlessly pursued by James Purefoy who's working for Freeman's corrupt US senator. Seriously, you can play cliché bingo with this thing. But, in amongst all that, it's not completely devoid of interesting ideas; it has some good sets and locations; and some genuinely uncomfortably sadistic levels of violence on occasion too.
Freeman is in it for barely a few minutes, and even though you get the impression he's phoning it in a bit, he's still Morgan goddamn Freeman when it comes down to it. Purefoy gets to be a properly slimy main antagonist, and can be scarily psychopathic at times. But Kurylenko, who I've always rated ever since Quantum of Solace, among other less noteworthy fare, turns in a performance that is far, far better than the movie deserves. Despite all the clichés and the wafer-thin plot, she sells every single moment above and beyond. Whether she was giving it her all in the hope that the movie would kick off a franchise (it leaves itself open for sequels at the end because of course it does), or she's just that damn good, she's definitely the best thing on offer here.
There's a couple of nice little double-crosses that were fun to see play out, a mostly good pace (hence the title, I suppose), and some decent action when the rapid-fire quick cuts abate long enough to let you actually see it.
The disc is as bare-bones as they come, and the lack of subtitles was really annoying given that the dialogue could often be a bit indistinct, which is why I'm noting it. Hopefully that's not an issue if you find it on a streaming service but be forewarned.
So if you're in the mood for a passable, throwaway action thriller with a great lead that you probably do remember and who deserves far, far better things in her career, you could do worse.
Steam | XBL
Also, they really went a bit too far with making Ego Evil McEvilFace. Good god, did he really have to murder his wife on top of everything else? That was a bit beyond the pale.
But in a weird way, this built up Thanos better than any other MCU film thanks to Nebula's insight into what he did to her. And he's not even in it.
If he'd felt just a little bit differently, he would've ended up staying and dying on Earth with his family, instead of sticking with an insane plan to basically kill the galaxy. He wasn't unfeeling and unflinchingly evil, he was just super-fucked-up by being alone so much for so long.