Organichu's Self-Indulgent Cooking [chat]

Organichu

ok i have no fucking idea so i'm reposting this shit since it's the only good thing i've ever done with my life since the 2000s

https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/38536516/#Comment_38536516

https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/37988722#Comment_37988722

https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/37856142/#Comment_37856142

plus oh yeah that time i made french fries from whole and managed to make mcdonald's-alikes

https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/36563234/#Comment_36563234

Chanus

elki it is dibs unless someone puts his hand upon your hip

Fuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud

that pa comic is perhaps the peak of pa comic

VishNub

Posting after a thread is locked is the worst form of government overreach.

Thomamelas

So in the 50's and 60's defense planners for the US had a huge problem. During WWII they had developed the technology for an intercontinental bomber. And with the advent of nuclear weapons it meant both sides of the cold war could engage in an air war. With lessons learned from WWII, the defense planners realized this would be bad. And the realized that while a lone bomber with conventional weapons couldn't do that much damage, the same wasn't true of a bomber carrying nuclear weapons. One bomber getting through would be as bad as not stopping any of them. But bombers, especially bombers in the late war and post-war period needed a lot of killing. Unguided rockets could kill one but hitting with an unguided rocket was...hard. And you can get a guns kill on them but again, it takes a lot of killing.

This left them with a problem. Given intercept times and so forth, the window where you can successfully kill the bombers before they are over US soil is small. What the Air Force needed was a weapon that could kill a lot of bombers at once. But rockets can only carry so much explosives and you have to get close for a proximity kill. But like all other military planners in the 50's they went with the "Let's nuke it" as an option. Because with a nuclear weapon, the radius for a proximity kill is much larger. Also during the 50's military planners were nuke mad and everything had to be nuclear capable. And thus was born the AIR-2 Genie.

An unguided nuclear rocket designed to be launched in waves from interceptors. Launch a bunch, create a group of overlapping nuclear blasts and you've got a handy fuck you to waves of bombers. You aim them where the wave of bombers will be, fire it and turn around and fly the other way quickly. At this point, some of you may have concerns about using these over US soil. I would like to assure you that any Soviet bombers would likely have come over the arctic and thus the Genie would have been released over Canada. Probably over one of the uninhabited bits but does the world really need Toronto? We made 3000 of them, and even loaned some to the Canadians, so they could use them over their own soil. The interesting thing about them however is they violate the two man rule. Once the weapon was on the aircraft, the arming and launch was solely at the discretion of the pilot. The system predates the use of PAL in US service and it was never adapted to include it. It remained in service till the late 80's when it was finally retired with the last of the active Delta Darts. It managed to stay in service longer then it's guided nuclear cousin AIM-26 Falcon which was retired in the late 70's.

https://youtu.be/1VZ7FQHTaR4

The 50's and 60's. How did we survive them? Fuck if I know.

DARTS vs VIPERS
Two Air Defense Interceptor Pilots vs Two Tactical Fighter Pilots
By S. Michael Townsend, LTC, USAF (Ret.)
“Viper 1, Pierre, Bucko, Genie, FMO, Rafsob”
Circa 1984

I was a Captain stationed at Tyndall AFB as an F-106 Instructor. This day my wingman, a fellow Captain and
Instructor, and I were scheduled for Dissimilar AirCombat Training (DACT) with two F-16s from Shaw AFB. I
was to be the Instructor for the training on the Air Combat Maneuvering Instrumentation Range (ACMI) over
the Gulf of Mexico, a highly accurate tracking system that would record all maneuvers in the airspace by the
aircraft, score all shots taken and simulate any kills. None of us had ever fought against the other type fighter.
TacticalAir Command pilots considered Air Defensepilots a lesser breed.
I started the preflight briefing after introductions with the Lieutenant Colonel (LTC) and his wingman a
Lieutenant (LT). The LTC immediately interrupted and informed me that he had no idea why they were
scheduled for DACT with aircraft that were far inferior to the F-16 and that it would not be much of a
challenge for them resulting in very little effective training. He stated that we should engage with full up all
weapons capability for both fighter types even stating that though they only had heaters (heat seeking
missiles) and guns he saw no disadvantage for them.I hid the fact that he had pissed us off and verified that
he meant for us to use the full weapons capability of the F-106. He replied, of course you can! Obviously he
had no idea what we carried between our legs, a clueless state of mind! I smiled as I looked at my wingman
while stroking the inside of my thigh; this pecker checker was going to get hammered when the Genie popped
up!

I briefed the LTC to take his flight to the farthest most southern point of the airspace and be prepared to
attack the coastline that we would defend. We would place ourselves on “Five” (five minute alert) and
scramble when we saw him takeoff giving him the advantage of being ready when we arrived. I told him to be
sure to look at the F-106 ramp on takeoff to verifythat we there on “Five” and this would be important during
the debrief. We briefed two engagements followed byjoin up for 1v1 basic fighter maneuvers (BFM), him
versus me and the wingmen against each other.

The fun began as they lifted off and saw us on the edge of the ramp, “communicating”, with a raisedfinger
over two rising moons! We had a hard time getting our crew chiefs to stop laughing so we could launch.A gate
(full afterburner) climb to 41,000 feet put us in the airspace in 6 minutes when I called “fight’s on”! I felt sorry
for my wingman because he would not get a shot on this first engagement. One minute later I called “Fox 3,
KILL, two F-16s north bound at 18,000 feet. Nock- it off, nock-it off, fights over, return to your safe area,” was
immediately passed to the Viper pilots. The LTC wasso confused that the ground control intercept (GCI)
controller had to tell him he had been shot by a “NUC” (Genie nuclear tipped rocket) and that him and his
wingman were DEAD so return to your point! I told GCI to inform him that we had one more Genie but that we
wouldn’t use it on the next engagement. Score: Darts 2, Vipers 0

I put my wingman in four mile trail as we began the next engagement from 41,000 feet at 1.2 MACH racing
down to their altitude of 18,000 feet, dumb a - - he didn’t even change his altitude to make it harderon us.
Since they had face heaters (firing heat seekers inour face), we cooled our jets by retarding the engines to idle
power to cool them off and denying the face shot while maintaining supersonic on our downhill slide. They
took the bait, the leader rolled out behind me, thewingman behind mine. We had them right where we
wanted them! Not even an F-16 can sustain a climb followed by a 9 G turn and roll out 2 miles behind a
supersonic target and chase them down so the missile will make the kill. The leader found himself in front of
my wingman who easily “Doe popped” him with two missiles while outrunning the F-16 wingman. Score:
Darts 1, Vipers 0

After a fuel check we split for 1v1 BFM. Starting from line abreast each fighter turns 45 degrees awayfrom
the other to gain spacing. At the fight’s on call the fighters turn toward each other passing canopy to canopy
with no advantage. The knife fight begins in earnest as they turn to gain six o’clock on the other fora guns kill.
Hands are helpful in explaining what happens next. Obviously the Viper can out turn a Dart and the LTCwas
behind me closing for guns! My next maneuver required exact timing or it would turn out all bad. As heclosed
for the shot I presented him with the infamous “F-106 Barn Door”. This is a frightening experience foranyone
who has never seen the Dart act in such an unbelievable aerodynamic manner. Never attempt this maneuver
at home as it should only be done by a highly trained and experienced Dart driver! With him captured solidly
at my six, in a hard four G turn, closing for the kill, fangs out and dripping, I held the G while applying full
opposite rudder. The Dart responds beautifully withan opposite direction roll through the vertical toa full
nose down dive where I apply full afterburner and dash for the deck. From the Viper’s cockpit it looked just
like someone opened a barn door in his face, nowhere to go and no idea what to do. Suddenly the Dart
disappears. His only option was to call nock-it offbecause he lost sight having never squeezed the trigger.
Meanwhile our wingman had to nock-it off because the LT was low on fuel. Score: Darts 0, Vipers 0
I sent the Vipers home and my wingman and I played for a while. My debriefing was short and sweet. The
Fighterpilots had to fly again to get some real training.It went something like this: Know your enemy. Never
underestimate your enemy. Never enter a gun fight with a knife. Never engage an enemy when you don’t
have a clue. Lose sight lose the fight. Pecker checkers should be well endowed. When the Genie pops up,
you’re goanna die! Nothing was ever said about the moons, I believe we “communicated” effectively!
Final Score: Darts 3, Vipers 0 America remained safe from attack!!

S. Michael Townsend, LTC, USAF Ret. “Viper 1, Pierre, Bucko, Genie, FMO, Rafsob”

Organichu

also all i ask is if they take my foot, they send it out on a barge into the center of the lake while firing flaming arrows at it

my dopiest friend would of course miss the first few shots before a big, strong brotherly figure nailed it in one

Abdhyius

Q: Why do cows have hooves?

A: Because they lactose.

Coinage

Man I remember seeing the final panel of that PA about a million times

Thomamelas

This is my 49th Chat OP.

bowen

Jubal77 wrote: »

The nurse who got arrested for not drawing blood from the unconscious person in her ward got 500k settlement from the city.

Should have been more I think.

500k from the city, the cop is barred from being a cop ever again, and the state garnishes his wages until he pays back 500k.

Also he should lose access to any pension and benefits that were given under the police union.

Havelock2.0

Chanus wrote: »

elki it is dibs unless someone puts his hand upon your hip

And remember that when you dip, they dip, and then you both dip again

Sir Landshark

Organichu wrote: »

also all i ask is if they take my foot, they send it out on a barge into the center of the lake while firing flaming arrows at it

my dopiest friend would of course miss the first few shots before a big, strong brotherly figure nailed it in one

so VH...and then me

Preacher

Abdhyius wrote: »

Q: Why do cows have hooves?

A: Because they lactose.

Scottish tinder has some of the nicest profile pics.

Ludious

chu when you're looking at those candybars pull a feather out of a pillow and run it across the bottom of your foot

do you feel that?

do you want to keep feeling that? BRING THE CANDYBARS TO WORK

Thomamelas

God damn it.

Preacher

bowen wrote: »

Jubal77 wrote: »

The nurse who got arrested for not drawing blood from the unconscious person in her ward got 500k settlement from the city.

Should have been more I think.

500k from the city, the cop is barred from being a cop ever again, and the state garnishes his wages until he pays back 500k.

Also he should lose access to any pension and benefits that were given under the police union.

Worst part is I know that cop will find work somewhere else as a cop.

Jubal77

bowen wrote: »

Jubal77 wrote: »

The nurse who got arrested for not drawing blood from the unconscious person in her ward got 500k settlement from the city.

Should have been more I think.

500k from the city, the cop is barred from being a cop ever again, and the state garnishes his wages until he pays back 500k.

Also he should lose access to any pension and benefits that were given under the police union.

Should be the boss as well. The one that told him to go ahead.

navgoose

Why do we glorify rules-ignoring cops in media again?

Bogart

Application to switch mortgage provider sent: moderate savings incoming.

As a reward: this slice of cake.

Tav

The water isn’t running in this hotel because why would the water be working somewhere that cost eight hundred dollars

HerrCron

navgoose wrote: »

Why do we glorify rules-ignoring cops in media again?

Because, dammit, they get results!

Havelock2.0

navgoose wrote: »

Why do we glorify rules-ignoring cops in media again?

Because they're loose cannons but godammit they get results

Havelock2.0

GODAMMIT CRON

Preacher

navgoose wrote: »

Why do we glorify rules-ignoring cops in media again?

Because we imagine when we are wronged we want Dirty Harry to be the one to find the person who did it, but when we are arrested we want Johnny by the book. Never of course realizing neither of those stereotypes exist independently of each other.

navgoose

Tav wrote: »

The water isn’t running in this hotel because why would the water be working somewhere that cost eight hundred dollars

I dunno, never been that fancy a place myself.

Coinage

Good dog keep an eye on that antifada weeb

Ludious

It's not that we glorify them it's just that we don't have any rules following cops as examples :P

Elki

Thomamelas wrote: »

God damn it.

Consumed.

cptrugged

Because results get they god damnit!

Sadgasm

navgoose wrote: »

Why do we glorify rules-ignoring cops in media again?

Revenge and power fantasies mostly, everyone resents both authority figures and percieved corrupt elements of society so much that we constantly dream about being able to just ignore the law and lash out in violence.

Chanus

but intifada and antifa are

you know what never mind

navgoose

Ludious wrote: »

It's not that we glorify them it's just that we don't have any rules following cops as examples :P

They all seem to have a boss yelling at them for their costly shennannigans and shutting off power to the unlicensed radioactive ghost containment unit, et cetera.

Sir Landshark

this one PM I have that has been totally useless just sent a giant masturbatory blog post out to the entire company about her trials and tribulations in qualifying for the Iron Man championships in Kona and just fuckin seriously lady

jungleroomx

Ludious wrote: »

chu when you're looking at those candybars pull a feather out of a pillow and run it across the bottom of your foot

do you feel that?

do you want to keep feeling that? BRING THE CANDYBARS TO WORK

Where's that Whomp comic when you really need it.

Chanus

Sir Landshark wrote: »

this one PM I have that has been totally useless just sent a giant masturbatory blog post out to the entire company about her trials and tribulations in qualifying for the Iron Man championships in Kona and just fuckin seriously lady

maybe that's her way of explaining why she's been so useless

Ludious

nevermind wrong place

Qanamil

Hello my fellow e-Sports

Sir Landshark

Chanus wrote: »

Sir Landshark wrote: »

this one PM I have that has been totally useless just sent a giant masturbatory blog post out to the entire company about her trials and tribulations in qualifying for the Iron Man championships in Kona and just fuckin seriously lady

maybe that's her way of explaining why she's been so useless

we all know that she "works from home" while basically running on her treadmill or riding her exercise bike so yeah, maybe

Chanus

Ludious wrote: »

nevermind wrong place

the entire industry is basically guilty until proven innocent at this point i just saw you edited out your post before i quoted it okay fine

Couscous

https://twitter.com/mondomascots/status/925707270968688640

But why high heels?

Havelock2.0

Sir Landshark wrote: »

this one PM I have that has been totally useless just sent a giant masturbatory blog post out to the entire company about her trials and tribulations in qualifying for the Iron Man championships in Kona and just fuckin seriously lady

Look she's been through a rough patch and she's focusing on taking care of herself