Decided to check out the meanings of the 4 options
Jackson - son of Jack. Ok but my dad's not called Jack
Christopher - bearer of Christ. Eh, I'm not Christian.
Kyle - from a Gaelic word meaning strait/channel
Lewis - "renowned warrior". Ok that's not bad.
If your first name is Seth I think you will want more than one syllable in a middle name (or more than one middle name).
For my middle name I chose a name that fulfills the following: 1. jewish, because my old first name is but my new first name isn't 2. honors both my family patriarch and a favorite author (...don't ask me which one is more important :P ) 3. makes my initials spell something 4. sounds good when said out loud/scans well.
I tried to get my parents or husband to help me choose my middle name but they were all too busy having tantrums re: trans so I chose it myself, of course...
I bought some books on voice training because I had no knowledge of the topic at all and oops a lot of the things I read about seem specific to English or rather American English. Because the ways men and women speak obviously also differ across languages and accents.
Yeah a lot of vocal stuff is cultural rather than physical. Even pitch - the range of pitches available v to you is partly dictated by your vocal cord lengths (and partly by muscle training), but the ones you use often depend more on what you grew up hearing and imitating. The good news is that a lot of the time adopting the cadence and speech tics of the appropriate gender is enough to cue people into your representation. Vocal cord strengthening exercises are also cross cultural - going to a singing teacher and telling them you want to work on your upper/lower range (delete as appropriate) is a useful hack if there are no speech therapists around with the right specialty, or they're too expensive
A good name flows well when all three names are said and when only the first and last names are said. Bonus points if it flows well when the first name, middle initial, and last name are used.
Lee Oswald doesn't sound as good as Lee Harvey Oswald to me.
I bought some books on voice training because I had no knowledge of the topic at all and oops a lot of the things I read about seem specific to English or rather American English. Because the ways men and women speak obviously also differ across languages and accents.
Yeah a lot of vocal stuff is cultural rather than physical. Even pitch - the range of pitches available v to you is partly dictated by your vocal cord lengths (and partly by muscle training), but the ones you use often depend more on what you grew up hearing and imitating. The good news is that a lot of the time adopting the cadence and speech tics of the appropriate gender is enough to cue people into your representation. Vocal cord strengthening exercises are also cross cultural - going to a singing teacher and telling them you want to work on your upper/lower range (delete as appropriate) is a useful hack if there are no speech therapists around with the right specialty, or they're too expensive
The first thing I read was a discussion of how women and men use their voice when asking questions. And I thought to myself, wow, this pattern they describe doesn't really hold true for French or German. It's an extra, confusing layer of complexity.
My first and middle names don’t flow particularly well with each other, and if I ever decide to fix it, I would probably swap the two names and just go by my middle name.
As it is, my first name is an extension of what most people call me anyway, while my middle name is similar to a feminized version of my old name, which meant I would have the satisfaction of family deadnaming me by knowing that they were still using my new and correct name.
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
I wonder if I could use my past as a choral singer and actor and shit to help coach people for speech therapy... I bet there's a lot more that goes into it besides, like, tongue and soft pallet position though.
Man that's a super interesting thought though. I've spent years trying to perfect impersonations of various female celebrities and singers especially. It'd be fuckin ill if I could actually do something useful with all that wasted time.
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
I wonder if I could use my past as a choral singer and actor and shit to help coach people for speech therapy... I bet there's a lot more that goes into it besides, like, tongue and soft pallet position though.
Man that's a super interesting thought though. I've spent years trying to perfect impersonations of various female celebrities and singers especially. It'd be fuckin ill if I could actually do something useful with all that wasted time.
I'm not sure what a solid skillset is for a speech therapist, but I think you're on to something there
maybe something you can do as a little side business
Miss me? Find me on:
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It's an area where improper technique can cause a lot of damage.
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
edited May 2018
Tbh I don't think school is for me. The deck is pretty well stacked against me the academic sense in a few ways and I've already wasted a bunch of time and money on trying to get a theatre degree (of all things, which I still couldn't finish) so. Hairnets and nametags for me, most likely.
I’ve been living my life as best I can as a pan, but to be honest, I’ve been trying to get into the cis dudes and I’m just not feeling it. Am I still worthy of calling myself pan? Or is there a better term for this?
I was listening to the Roxanne Gay episode of the Queery podcast the other day, and she talks about something very similar. She thought she was straight for a while, and dated dudes during that time, and then realized she was gay, and started dating ladies, and became much more comfortable with herself, but in her late twenties she realized she was actually bisexual. However, she has no desire to actually date dudes, like, at all, mostly because she thinks dating dudes is terrible (understandably, I think). That's a separate idea from being attracted to them, though.
It was really interesting to listen to. There are a lot of...dimensions to being attracted to more than a single gender, and many of those dimensions involve things that people will tell you (or perhaps you will tell yourself!) mean you're "not really bi/pan". That's typically bullshit, though!
Pansexuality/bisexuality isn't a standard you have to live up to, any more than being gay or straight is. You can be pan without ever dating anybody but cis dudes, and you can be pan without ever dating any cis dudes.
A good name flows well when all three names are said and when only the first and last names are said. Bonus points if it flows well when the first name, middle initial, and last name are used.
Lee Oswald doesn't sound as good as Lee Harvey Oswald to me.
Likewise, "Sam Jackson" just doesn't have the same heft or importance as "Samuel L. Jackson" even though the L is never spelled out (honestly didn't know what it stood for until I just looked it up (it's 'Leroy')).
Every orientation has their version of a "douchebag" that you want to avoid. I do think it's something that is more common to see from cishet men than anything else, though.
I have two cishet male friends I primarily socialize with - one's been my best friend for 25 years, and the other's a DM for a D&D campaign we do usually once a month. I do think part of the reason I don't have more cishet male friends though is that I wear my homosexuality pretty much on me on like a t-shirt when I'm in a casual setting, and that sometimes might make people uncomfortable? Also, I'd be uncomfortable showing that side of me with some people who might not get it, or might have a negative reaction if they find out. So it's just easier not to try to get too friendly with cishet men.
I am looking forward to a time where I'm on good enough terms with my own meat shell that I can maybe actually try a relationship or something.
I literally had an attractive naked girl in my apartment yesterday and didn't end up doing anything cause I think I can't handle that emotionally right now so I didn't make a move
But like "let me come over and try on all these girl clothes you're giving away"=let me just strip in front of you in your studio apartment (and since we've had romantic contact before/a charged friendship she knew very well what she was doing there)
gah
I do vaguely wish I were getting laid in general cause I'm a huge fan of my new torso situation and want someone else to appreciate it, but if that were to happen it would probably have to be with a rando and not with this friend in order for things not to get complicated
I'm actually pretty bummed I won't be able to date straight guys in the future since I've enjoyed doing so in the past. I'll also probably present as such; we'll see what's attainable. And then everyone here can give me the cold shoulder lel
Had trans group therapy round 2 today. Did not feel like therapy. Not sure where they're going with this.
I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall trying to figure out what the right thing to do with my life is, but after my new job imploded because I just couldn't do that shit anymore, I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing and sinking even deeper into depression.
I just want to help people, but it feels like there's so many barriers to doing that in a way that makes a difference.
Group therapy isn’t for everyone; it certainly wasn’t for me. I know “be supportive and keep at it” is the default(and rightfully so), but don’t be afraid to end something if you recognize you’re not getting anything out of it.
I decided I wanted to let some of my friends know that I’m non-binary, so I just put up a Facebook post that only a handful of my closest friends could see snd I am freaking out a little
Have decided on Kyle Jackson as my new middle name/s. It ticks a lot of boxes for me.
Kyle was my dad's idea. He chose it because it contains K and L which are the initials of my given first and middle names. So I get to keep the connection with the old me that I would have got just masculinising my old middle name, while also getting a novel name picked by a parent.
Jackson was also his suggestion. It was his father's and grandfather's middle names, and apparently a common one for years back along the patrilineal line. My gran didn't like it so it skipped my dad, and then my brother, but my brother reinstated it with my nephew.
The significance of my dad suggesting I take a middle name traditionally given to male members of his family only really hit me yesterday.
That all rules. And that's a very aesthetically nice pair of names too. Like they sound good together
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If your first name is Seth I think you will want more than one syllable in a middle name (or more than one middle name).
For my middle name I chose a name that fulfills the following: 1. jewish, because my old first name is but my new first name isn't 2. honors both my family patriarch and a favorite author (...don't ask me which one is more important :P ) 3. makes my initials spell something 4. sounds good when said out loud/scans well.
I tried to get my parents or husband to help me choose my middle name but they were all too busy having tantrums re: trans so I chose it myself, of course...
Yeah a lot of vocal stuff is cultural rather than physical. Even pitch - the range of pitches available v to you is partly dictated by your vocal cord lengths (and partly by muscle training), but the ones you use often depend more on what you grew up hearing and imitating. The good news is that a lot of the time adopting the cadence and speech tics of the appropriate gender is enough to cue people into your representation. Vocal cord strengthening exercises are also cross cultural - going to a singing teacher and telling them you want to work on your upper/lower range (delete as appropriate) is a useful hack if there are no speech therapists around with the right specialty, or they're too expensive
Lee Oswald doesn't sound as good as Lee Harvey Oswald to me.
it's extremely distressing
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
The first thing I read was a discussion of how women and men use their voice when asking questions. And I thought to myself, wow, this pattern they describe doesn't really hold true for French or German. It's an extra, confusing layer of complexity.
As it is, my first name is an extension of what most people call me anyway, while my middle name is similar to a feminized version of my old name, which meant I would have the satisfaction of family deadnaming me by knowing that they were still using my new and correct name.
Man that's a super interesting thought though. I've spent years trying to perfect impersonations of various female celebrities and singers especially. It'd be fuckin ill if I could actually do something useful with all that wasted time.
I'm not sure what a solid skillset is for a speech therapist, but I think you're on to something there
maybe something you can do as a little side business
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Yeah I was super sure this was the case and I bet doing that sort of thing just on a whim or whatever is probably illegal as shit.
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
I was listening to the Roxanne Gay episode of the Queery podcast the other day, and she talks about something very similar. She thought she was straight for a while, and dated dudes during that time, and then realized she was gay, and started dating ladies, and became much more comfortable with herself, but in her late twenties she realized she was actually bisexual. However, she has no desire to actually date dudes, like, at all, mostly because she thinks dating dudes is terrible (understandably, I think). That's a separate idea from being attracted to them, though.
It was really interesting to listen to. There are a lot of...dimensions to being attracted to more than a single gender, and many of those dimensions involve things that people will tell you (or perhaps you will tell yourself!) mean you're "not really bi/pan". That's typically bullshit, though!
Pansexuality/bisexuality isn't a standard you have to live up to, any more than being gay or straight is. You can be pan without ever dating anybody but cis dudes, and you can be pan without ever dating any cis dudes.
Don't tell me this, I'm just now going to start trying to date them.
women? no problem at all
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
I’ve dated straight people from both sides now, (mostly)post-transition, and cishets are the ones that never seem to work out
yeah the good dude ratio gets a lot better once you cut out straight cis men
Likewise, "Sam Jackson" just doesn't have the same heft or importance as "Samuel L. Jackson" even though the L is never spelled out (honestly didn't know what it stood for until I just looked it up (it's 'Leroy')).
As a cishet guy this is just as true for me trying to make friends. It's exhausting.
I have two cishet male friends I primarily socialize with - one's been my best friend for 25 years, and the other's a DM for a D&D campaign we do usually once a month. I do think part of the reason I don't have more cishet male friends though is that I wear my homosexuality pretty much on me on like a t-shirt when I'm in a casual setting, and that sometimes might make people uncomfortable? Also, I'd be uncomfortable showing that side of me with some people who might not get it, or might have a negative reaction if they find out. So it's just easier not to try to get too friendly with cishet men.
Steam: TheArcadeBear
too damn risky
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
But like "let me come over and try on all these girl clothes you're giving away"=let me just strip in front of you in your studio apartment (and since we've had romantic contact before/a charged friendship she knew very well what she was doing there)
gah
I do vaguely wish I were getting laid in general cause I'm a huge fan of my new torso situation and want someone else to appreciate it, but if that were to happen it would probably have to be with a rando and not with this friend in order for things not to get complicated
I'm actually pretty bummed I won't be able to date straight guys in the future since I've enjoyed doing so in the past. I'll also probably present as such; we'll see what's attainable. And then everyone here can give me the cold shoulder lel
I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall trying to figure out what the right thing to do with my life is, but after my new job imploded because I just couldn't do that shit anymore, I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing and sinking even deeper into depression.
I just want to help people, but it feels like there's so many barriers to doing that in a way that makes a difference.
The challenge is to declare myself as trans to anyone IRL
Or to think it's actually going to contribute to a better future
This is what scares me the most about trying to practice changing my voice without professional guidance.
A list of things, should you be of the gifting persuasion
Edit: *for me personally, obviously. Not, like, of all time anywhere.
I decided I wanted to let some of my friends know that I’m non-binary, so I just put up a Facebook post that only a handful of my closest friends could see snd I am freaking out a little
That all rules. And that's a very aesthetically nice pair of names too. Like they sound good together