Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
@Brovid Hasselsmof that's rad and you're rad and kudos for putting thought into it!
@Nechriah you shared with those specific people for a reason. Coming out is TERRIFYING, but trust the people in your life to not let you down. There may be questions, but I sincerely hope they're supportive and that it ends up being totally fine
@Metzger Meister you ok friendo? Anything we as a faceless blob can do to help?
I take no umbrage at being referred to as a blob, but I like to think I have a face. Blobs can have faces, right? Like... a jello mold that has the right indents for eyes, nose, and a mouth?
@Nechriah you shared with those specific people for a reason. Coming out is TERRIFYING, but trust the people in your life to not let you down. There may be questions, but I sincerely hope they're supportive and that it ends up being totally fine
So far everyone who’s seen it has either liked or love reacted, and all the comments have been lovely and supportive!
The best reaction was from a particular friend who I have a massive crush on (and who I was the most nervous about telling):
I'm starting to believe/fear I'm gonna die alone, never finding happiness (whether it's inner, or with someone happy to see or be with me)
The last few years have been difficult but definitely not as bad as this month has been
All the hugs in the world.
There's room for sadness and it's a completely valid emotion to feel, and please express it however you can that may help, but is there a way I/we can help?
Bummer stuff underneath relating to the death of a pet, be forewarned
Some inconsiderate dick doing 20 over the speed limit killed my cat yesterday. One of my cats, I suppose. Shorty. It was raining and we live out in the county, so we have gravel and dirt roads, and they get slick as snot in the rain, and we live at the top of a blind hill, and this fella thought it would be ok to do 50 in a 30 in those conditions because he was in a big old truck and a hurry. Could've been a horse and rider, someone walking their dog, our neighbor riding out to his pasture on his quad. Dude's lucky it was "just" a cat.
He didn't even stop. Literally in front of the house, not even past our fence line. I looked up because I heard how fast he was going, and I saw my brother's cat Bow sitting by the road meowing, then Shorty lying on it. Bow kept trying to wake her up, licking her head and pawing at her and meowing and stuff. She was still warm, barely a scratch on her. She could have been sleeping if she wasn't so still, eyes open and all that. We put her to rest with the other animals, our dog Buck and our old cat Willis, stillborn kittens and an albino cottontail my friend tried to save that we buried in a satin Sephora bag.
I was a total mess yesterday. I'm kinda numb about it today. I've done more ugly crying this year than I probably ever have. I got a feelin that I'll be crying fit to burst a dam in the rest of 2018. I feel it in my bones.
I loved that cat. Her and her brother Halo were Christmas miracle cats. Their mom Jezebel had kittens under our deck, and then one day they and she disappeared. This was in the middle of December with a storm looming. The storm hits, and it's a real toothy sumbitch, all biting wind and gnawing cold and snow falling so thick you couldn't see the neighbor's fence line.
Another local stray, big giant orange meathead of a tom named Leo, who was probably the kitten's dad, comes up to our living room window pawing at it and howling like his tail's on fire. So we go to let him into our sun room, where he has food and a blanket to sleep on, only he doesn't go inside.
Instead he runs to a bush, brings out a tiny little gray kitten shivering with cold. My step dad snatches the baby up, wraps her in his coat. Leo howls and dashes around and then runs off, and my step-dad follows, and finds four more in the middle of our pasture, huddled together for warmth. Two didn't make it. One of the others was our cat Halo after that, the other one went to a family friend, and the little gray kitten was Shorty. This happened on about December 20th. Our little Christmas miracles.
Halo is gone now too actually. Disappeared one day. Outside cats I suppose... Even in the boondocks, things go wrong. My mom hates locking cats inside though. Makes her sad. She thinks they deserve to get to go outside, that they're happier. And we just kinda accept that sometimes their luck runs out. It's unfortunate that we're an unlucky family to begin with.
Metzger Meister on
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mysticjuicer[he/him] I'm a muscle wizardand I cast P U N C HRegistered Userregular
Have decided on Kyle Jackson as my new middle name/s. It ticks a lot of boxes for me.
Kyle was my dad's idea. He chose it because it contains K and L which are the initials of my given first and middle names. So I get to keep the connection with the old me that I would have got just masculinising my old middle name, while also getting a novel name picked by a parent.
Jackson was also his suggestion. It was his father's and grandfather's middle names, and apparently a common one for years back along the patrilineal line. My gran didn't like it so it skipped my dad, and then my brother, but my brother reinstated it with my nephew.
The significance of my dad suggesting I take a middle name traditionally given to male members of his family only really hit me yesterday.
Awwwwww that's really sweet. Your Dad's a cool guy.
Apple is releasing a new watch face for Pride next week
I know Pride is the next big cash grab for corporations, but given Apple’s CEO this at least feels slightly more sincere. Also, I love rainbows so hell yeah.
Hey for Mermay I made a cute 9 page comic that I think this thread will enjoy! Probably not NSFW as no junk is ever shown but people are sometimes shirtless (no boobs tho).
Also I am real proud of the last panel, spoilers~~
Can I just say that every time you post a picture I'm in awe of your makeup? Like, your foundation is perfect and your lipstick is always cleanly lined and I just don't understand how someone can do that??
Clicking on your tweet, I see you're in Silver Spring, MD; I'm in Baltimore so if you ever want someone to makeover HELLO I WILL LET YOU DO WHATEVER
Umm, Hi. I know I haven’t been around lately. I feel like I let you all and myself down for a while.
Spoilered for a long a 6 month journey.
Waaaay back in November I was about to start HRT. All I needed to do was a blood test. I went to the doctor the day before Thanksgiving but they were unable to find a vein so, I’d have to come back after the holiday. On Thanksgiving my wife called me to talk. We had been separated because she went out of state for school and “needed to be on her own for a while” . She talked like she wanted to get back together. We decided to meet up in Denver over Christmas.
Leading up to the trip I tried to broach the subject of being Trans to her but, the reaction wasn’t good. I never told her directly I was Trans just brought up a lot of “what if” scenarios relating to me and being a woman. I wanted to see what her reaction was. Every time she said that she’d divorce me. I decided to wait and see how things went during this meet up.
So we met up over the holiday and things were good. Afterwards she went back to school and I stayed where I was. However when I brought up moving back in together when she graduated and being a family again she rejected that idea. We’re back where we were a few months ago now. She seems happier living alone but likes the connection of talking and having emotional support from someone. It’s not really the relationship I want though. She runs lukewarm towards me at best when we do talk now. I don’t feel a lot of emotional connection from her. I’ve even brought this up and her excuse is “I’m busy with school and work and I really can’t get myself emotional right now” . I know this isn’t good for me because it hurts to see and talk to her but, the problem is I’m a big stupid head who can’t seem to let an 18 year relationship go. I’m still struggling with this.
I tried to absorb myself in work and got super busy. A manager left so the opportunity for a promotion came up and, I tried very hard for it. I didn’t get it, they eliminated that position altogether after the person left and never told anyone. They hired another VP instead. They also tripled my workload since a few people left for new jobs at the same time.
I got very depressed for a while. I felt unable to move in any direction. I sat at home, and let things go. Just sort of existed. Felt like a total failure. Work is getting way too stressful, my relationship is pretty pathetic, and I’m still trying to dig out from the debt I incurred when I was unemployed.
I put off transitioning because I wanted to try making my relationship work. This is what I feel the worst about. That I let myself go because of another person. I guess I was desperate, pathetic, maybe both.
I’m trying to turn things around. I’m still losing weight. I’ve lost 45 pounds since the February. Only need to lose 15 more and I’ll finally be under 200. I went back to the Doctor last week and did the blood test. I picked up a prescription for Estradiol Friday.
Not sure what happens going forward but, I’m going to try to live my life for myself for once and not by other’s rules and expectations.
Sorry if all that was a little rambling.
TLDR: Life sucked hard for 6 months but I’m trying to turn it around and, I took my pill today.
Hey QUILTBAGs It's been a while. I hope everyone's doing well ^u^ I was prompted by @Goatmon to pop by and share a few things. We both realized it's been quite some time since I posted ^^;;;;
First things first: I HAS PURPLE HAIR NOW! And through the magic of faceapp, I've been feeling pretty >w< (I'd share the original photo but I didn't save that to my computer <_<;;...plus I have stubble in that shot -A-;;;;)
Edit: The only thing the app did was soften my features and apply make-up. the hair is all mine >w< bwahahahahahhaa
Secondly, I had a small squee moment. I had to get a hold of Microsoft Support for something fairly trivial. The agent who was helping me had my account details pulled up and asked what name I prefer to go by. I gave them the option of using my gamertag but just kind of absentmindedly added that I go by Amara even though it doesn't match the name on my account, which, again, they could see. They very gleefully decided to call me Amara, telling me they love my name. >w<
I know it's just a stupid customer service thing but I felt so validated
So yeah, that's my dumb little squee moment for you all. How've you all been?
Amara_P on
+25
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GrogMy sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered Userregular
Had lots of exposure to service staff the past couple of weeks, so loads of (well-meaning) misgendering. Became reflexive to say "actually, it's 'Miss'" before every response.
Decided to play some skyrim to unwind after the trip and I felt myself tense up approaching an innkeeper.
"Greetings, what can I get you ma'am?"
IRL being outperformed by a 7 year old bethesda game.
Can I just say that every time you post a picture I'm in awe of your makeup? Like, your foundation is perfect and your lipstick is always cleanly lined and I just don't understand how someone can do that??
Clicking on your tweet, I see you're in Silver Spring, MD; I'm in Baltimore so if you ever want someone to makeover HELLO I WILL LET YOU DO WHATEVER
Bex - that picture is on point. I love me some good avant garde 80s synthy-Patrick Nagel type style. I've never heard of Timecop 1983, but I'll have to give it a listen (when I'm not at work).
Keith - I bet you say that to everyone.
Man... now I'm sitting here wishing Moonbeam City didn't get canned after one season. That show was going places.
PSN: TheArcadeBear
Steam: TheArcadeBear
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
After the nightmare that was mother's day, father's day fast approaches. I am dreading that weekend a lot.
After the nightmare that was mother's day, father's day fast approaches. I am dreading that weekend a lot.
might be good to nip some of that in the bud
Yeah. Got invited to stuff at my folks' house and we just aren't gonna go.
Gonna probably make a post on Facebook the day before or so and say "Hey please for real don't wish me happy Father's Day." And hope people can follow a simple request.
After the nightmare that was mother's day, father's day fast approaches. I am dreading that weekend a lot.
might be good to nip some of that in the bud
Yeah. Got invited to stuff at my folks' house and we just aren't gonna go.
Gonna probably make a post on Facebook the day before or so and say "Hey please for real don't wish me happy Father's Day." And hope people can follow a simple request.
Just keep in mind that Facebook/Twitter/etc. don't always show everyone who's subbed to you all the posts you make (because AGLORITHMSSSSSSSS). Still very definitely a good idea to make the post, but it's possible it won't reach absolutely everyone you'd want it to.
hmmmmm I'm like 80% sure one of the people who came to my presentation today at the government sponsor is trans (programmer lady; she didn't ask any questions/we didn't interact)
this is the main sponsor I have a relationship with (and who I'm trying to extract a lot of money from; we'll see) and if it's a lab/organization that already understands what's up with trans people and is cool with them my life is going to be so much easier
Man how do you even come out to your government sponsor (aka customer aka sugar daddy (...my dad who is a longtime defense contractor will use that phrase and I'm like dad pls no))
'Attached is the second bimonthly report; please also note I've changed my name.'
and then if that doesn't make it completely clear, it's obvious when you see them in person for your next technical meeting?
Man who knows...
I finally found the courage to read the official guidelines on what I would need to start HRT here in Austria
I would need
a) an initial psychotherapeutic diagnosis
b) a psychiatric differential diagnosis - this is supposed to establish you do not suffer from such other lovely things as "fetishistic transvestism"
c) a clinical psychological diagnosis. This includes personality tests, an IQ test (why?) and a test to measure one's "psychological resilience".
I got a new profile picture made by a real cool artist I support on patreon! And I went swimming yesterday with three other trans girls, which was awesome.
Still wrestling with my psychiatrist's office, got an appointment finally for the 27th, so yay waiting for four weeks? And got my estrogen renewed until October without getting it cut, so everything is kinda mostly working out!
I finally found the courage to read the official guidelines on what I would need to start HRT here in Austria
I would need
a) an initial psychotherapeutic diagnosis
b) a psychiatric differential diagnosis - this is supposed to establish you do not suffer from such other lovely things as "fetishistic transvestism"
c) a clinical psychological diagnosis. This includes personality tests, an IQ test (why?) and a test to measure one's "psychological resilience".
This is bullshit
This is such fucking bullshit
That is incredibly garbage, Platy. Complete gatekeeping bullshit. I'm so sorry
Those guidelines are from 2017 - it used to be even worse, with a requirement of 50 hours and least one year of psychotherapy
This is really fucking bad because I'm bleeding out due to depression and just generally being crushed by the weight of my personal history. I don't have anything resembling an actual support network and all my fears and doubts wouldn't make jumping through all those hoops any easier.
I don't have anything resembling an actual support network
You're all lovely people so I hope you understand what I mean
Mostly my family and my lack of IRL friends and close relationships
We gotcha. Would starting the hoop jumping and making progress, even though it's such bullshit, ease your mind due to the whole 'ok let's so this' side of it?
I finally found the courage to read the official guidelines on what I would need to start HRT here in Austria
I would need
a) an initial psychotherapeutic diagnosis
b) a psychiatric differential diagnosis - this is supposed to establish you do not suffer from such other lovely things as "fetishistic transvestism"
c) a clinical psychological diagnosis. This includes personality tests, an IQ test (why?) and a test to measure one's "psychological resilience".
This is bullshit
This is such fucking bullshit
Holland also has some fucked up requirements, BUT if you get a scrip from another country, theyll still fill it. Belgium is super good at giving them out and being pretty trans friend, you can just make an appt, go there, get blood tests and theyll mail you a scrip, id thats an option for you. Another neighbouring country also might be less shitty. Idk if your country will fill existing prescriptions tho
Another country might be my only option because those guidelines seem designed to make transitioning as difficult as possible
I was already super-concerned about gatekeeping because there are only two or three therapists dealing with this stuff in my wider area
The process in the guidelines seems gross and unfair and massively discriminatory, there are probably a million things one could latch onto to show I'm not trans or that transitioning wouldn't be good for me
I've felt out of energy for a long time and I kinda already delayed things to the breaking point
I don't have anything resembling an actual support network
You're all lovely people so I hope you understand what I mean
Mostly my family and my lack of IRL friends and close relationships
Local support is a much different beast from online support. Both are important but the local side of things can be crucial. I hope you can find some decent help
+6
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jaziekBad at everythingAnd mad about it.Registered Userregular
In a real bad "oh god what am I doing, I'm such a fucking mess, I'll never pass, I'm a freak, I waited too long, there's no point transitioning, why am I doing this, I'm ruining my life for nothing" kinda headspace right now. I've lost sight of any kind of light at the end of a tunnel.
Fuuuuuuuck
Posts
@Nechriah you shared with those specific people for a reason. Coming out is TERRIFYING, but trust the people in your life to not let you down. There may be questions, but I sincerely hope they're supportive and that it ends up being totally fine
@Metzger Meister you ok friendo? Anything we as a faceless blob can do to help?
Or Pizza the Hut?
Steam: TheArcadeBear
So far everyone who’s seen it has either liked or love reacted, and all the comments have been lovely and supportive!
The best reaction was from a particular friend who I have a massive crush on (and who I was the most nervous about telling):
The last few years have been difficult but definitely not as bad as this month has been
Steam
All the hugs in the world.
There's room for sadness and it's a completely valid emotion to feel, and please express it however you can that may help, but is there a way I/we can help?
Bummer stuff underneath relating to the death of a pet, be forewarned
He didn't even stop. Literally in front of the house, not even past our fence line. I looked up because I heard how fast he was going, and I saw my brother's cat Bow sitting by the road meowing, then Shorty lying on it. Bow kept trying to wake her up, licking her head and pawing at her and meowing and stuff. She was still warm, barely a scratch on her. She could have been sleeping if she wasn't so still, eyes open and all that. We put her to rest with the other animals, our dog Buck and our old cat Willis, stillborn kittens and an albino cottontail my friend tried to save that we buried in a satin Sephora bag.
I was a total mess yesterday. I'm kinda numb about it today. I've done more ugly crying this year than I probably ever have. I got a feelin that I'll be crying fit to burst a dam in the rest of 2018. I feel it in my bones.
I loved that cat. Her and her brother Halo were Christmas miracle cats. Their mom Jezebel had kittens under our deck, and then one day they and she disappeared. This was in the middle of December with a storm looming. The storm hits, and it's a real toothy sumbitch, all biting wind and gnawing cold and snow falling so thick you couldn't see the neighbor's fence line.
Another local stray, big giant orange meathead of a tom named Leo, who was probably the kitten's dad, comes up to our living room window pawing at it and howling like his tail's on fire. So we go to let him into our sun room, where he has food and a blanket to sleep on, only he doesn't go inside.
Instead he runs to a bush, brings out a tiny little gray kitten shivering with cold. My step dad snatches the baby up, wraps her in his coat. Leo howls and dashes around and then runs off, and my step-dad follows, and finds four more in the middle of our pasture, huddled together for warmth. Two didn't make it. One of the others was our cat Halo after that, the other one went to a family friend, and the little gray kitten was Shorty. This happened on about December 20th. Our little Christmas miracles.
Halo is gone now too actually. Disappeared one day. Outside cats I suppose... Even in the boondocks, things go wrong. My mom hates locking cats inside though. Makes her sad. She thinks they deserve to get to go outside, that they're happier. And we just kinda accept that sometimes their luck runs out. It's unfortunate that we're an unlucky family to begin with.
Awwwwww that's really sweet. Your Dad's a cool guy.
aka it sounds rad af
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Steam: TheArcadeBear
Kyle Jackson, Space Outlaw.
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
I know Pride is the next big cash grab for corporations, but given Apple’s CEO this at least feels slightly more sincere. Also, I love rainbows so hell yeah.
But it was extremely cyan and magenta aesthetic which *is* queer culture imo.
Plus I looked fabulous.
A list of things, should you be of the gifting persuasion
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
Hey for Mermay I made a cute 9 page comic that I think this thread will enjoy! Probably not NSFW as no junk is ever shown but people are sometimes shirtless (no boobs tho).
Also I am real proud of the last panel, spoilers~~
I'd love it if you took a look at my art and my PATREON!
Can I just say that every time you post a picture I'm in awe of your makeup? Like, your foundation is perfect and your lipstick is always cleanly lined and I just don't understand how someone can do that??
Clicking on your tweet, I see you're in Silver Spring, MD; I'm in Baltimore so if you ever want someone to makeover HELLO I WILL LET YOU DO WHATEVER
Spoilered for a long a 6 month journey.
Leading up to the trip I tried to broach the subject of being Trans to her but, the reaction wasn’t good. I never told her directly I was Trans just brought up a lot of “what if” scenarios relating to me and being a woman. I wanted to see what her reaction was. Every time she said that she’d divorce me. I decided to wait and see how things went during this meet up.
So we met up over the holiday and things were good. Afterwards she went back to school and I stayed where I was. However when I brought up moving back in together when she graduated and being a family again she rejected that idea. We’re back where we were a few months ago now. She seems happier living alone but likes the connection of talking and having emotional support from someone. It’s not really the relationship I want though. She runs lukewarm towards me at best when we do talk now. I don’t feel a lot of emotional connection from her. I’ve even brought this up and her excuse is “I’m busy with school and work and I really can’t get myself emotional right now” . I know this isn’t good for me because it hurts to see and talk to her but, the problem is I’m a big stupid head who can’t seem to let an 18 year relationship go. I’m still struggling with this.
I tried to absorb myself in work and got super busy. A manager left so the opportunity for a promotion came up and, I tried very hard for it. I didn’t get it, they eliminated that position altogether after the person left and never told anyone. They hired another VP instead. They also tripled my workload since a few people left for new jobs at the same time.
I got very depressed for a while. I felt unable to move in any direction. I sat at home, and let things go. Just sort of existed. Felt like a total failure. Work is getting way too stressful, my relationship is pretty pathetic, and I’m still trying to dig out from the debt I incurred when I was unemployed.
I put off transitioning because I wanted to try making my relationship work. This is what I feel the worst about. That I let myself go because of another person. I guess I was desperate, pathetic, maybe both.
I’m trying to turn things around. I’m still losing weight. I’ve lost 45 pounds since the February. Only need to lose 15 more and I’ll finally be under 200. I went back to the Doctor last week and did the blood test. I picked up a prescription for Estradiol Friday.
Not sure what happens going forward but, I’m going to try to live my life for myself for once and not by other’s rules and expectations.
Sorry if all that was a little rambling.
TLDR: Life sucked hard for 6 months but I’m trying to turn it around and, I took my pill today.
First things first: I HAS PURPLE HAIR NOW! And through the magic of faceapp, I've been feeling pretty >w< (I'd share the original photo but I didn't save that to my computer <_<;;...plus I have stubble in that shot -A-;;;;)
Secondly, I had a small squee moment. I had to get a hold of Microsoft Support for something fairly trivial. The agent who was helping me had my account details pulled up and asked what name I prefer to go by. I gave them the option of using my gamertag but just kind of absentmindedly added that I go by Amara even though it doesn't match the name on my account, which, again, they could see. They very gleefully decided to call me Amara, telling me they love my name. >w<
I know it's just a stupid customer service thing but I felt so validated
So yeah, that's my dumb little squee moment for you all. How've you all been?
Decided to play some skyrim to unwind after the trip and I felt myself tense up approaching an innkeeper.
"Greetings, what can I get you ma'am?"
IRL being outperformed by a 7 year old bethesda game.
Bex - that picture is on point. I love me some good avant garde 80s synthy-Patrick Nagel type style. I've never heard of Timecop 1983, but I'll have to give it a listen (when I'm not at work).
Keith - I bet you say that to everyone.
Man... now I'm sitting here wishing Moonbeam City didn't get canned after one season. That show was going places.
Steam: TheArcadeBear
might be good to nip some of that in the bud
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Yeah. Got invited to stuff at my folks' house and we just aren't gonna go.
Gonna probably make a post on Facebook the day before or so and say "Hey please for real don't wish me happy Father's Day." And hope people can follow a simple request.
family is a bit more sticky, but it can be good to know if and how much they disrespect you
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Just keep in mind that Facebook/Twitter/etc. don't always show everyone who's subbed to you all the posts you make (because AGLORITHMSSSSSSSS). Still very definitely a good idea to make the post, but it's possible it won't reach absolutely everyone you'd want it to.
this is the main sponsor I have a relationship with (and who I'm trying to extract a lot of money from; we'll see) and if it's a lab/organization that already understands what's up with trans people and is cool with them my life is going to be so much easier
Man how do you even come out to your government sponsor (aka customer aka sugar daddy (...my dad who is a longtime defense contractor will use that phrase and I'm like dad pls no))
'Attached is the second bimonthly report; please also note I've changed my name.'
and then if that doesn't make it completely clear, it's obvious when you see them in person for your next technical meeting?
Man who knows...
I would need
a) an initial psychotherapeutic diagnosis
b) a psychiatric differential diagnosis - this is supposed to establish you do not suffer from such other lovely things as "fetishistic transvestism"
c) a clinical psychological diagnosis. This includes personality tests, an IQ test (why?) and a test to measure one's "psychological resilience".
This is bullshit
This is such fucking bullshit
Still wrestling with my psychiatrist's office, got an appointment finally for the 27th, so yay waiting for four weeks? And got my estrogen renewed until October without getting it cut, so everything is kinda mostly working out!
That is incredibly garbage, Platy. Complete gatekeeping bullshit. I'm so sorry
This is really fucking bad because I'm bleeding out due to depression and just generally being crushed by the weight of my personal history. I don't have anything resembling an actual support network and all my fears and doubts wouldn't make jumping through all those hoops any easier.
You're all lovely people so I hope you understand what I mean
Mostly my family and my lack of IRL friends and close relationships
We gotcha. Would starting the hoop jumping and making progress, even though it's such bullshit, ease your mind due to the whole 'ok let's so this' side of it?
Holland also has some fucked up requirements, BUT if you get a scrip from another country, theyll still fill it. Belgium is super good at giving them out and being pretty trans friend, you can just make an appt, go there, get blood tests and theyll mail you a scrip, id thats an option for you. Another neighbouring country also might be less shitty. Idk if your country will fill existing prescriptions tho
I was already super-concerned about gatekeeping because there are only two or three therapists dealing with this stuff in my wider area
The process in the guidelines seems gross and unfair and massively discriminatory, there are probably a million things one could latch onto to show I'm not trans or that transitioning wouldn't be good for me
I've felt out of energy for a long time and I kinda already delayed things to the breaking point
But making that therapist also the person to decide whether or not I'd get HRT if I so desired would poison that relationship from the start
The therapist, the person I'm supposed to trust, would have control over my body
I knew for some time this was going to be the pitfall of the system, but having to win approval from three different people seems excessive
Local support is a much different beast from online support. Both are important but the local side of things can be crucial. I hope you can find some decent help
Fuuuuuuuck