I am 95% certain that starting hormones has fucked with the skin on my face and I don't know how to deal with it because, as one might expect, I am someone who has gone through life without understanding the basics of skincare.
Now the top half of my face is more oily than it used to be and the bottom half is dry(?) and peeling(???)
What am I supposed to do about that? As a teenager I had cooperative skin, so I'm really at a loss.
Yeah so something that's not well explained to people is that when you go on hormones, the first few months (or longer depending on your individual biology) will basically be another puberty. Peoples' skin tends to get greasier, they sleep more, and they get to deal with all the other fun bits of puberty. Whee!
(not actually whee)
I'm aware that people say that. I'd be pretty hesitant to use that sort of language for myself because it's pretty infantilizing and not particularly accurate as often 'puberty' evokes a particular teenage socio-emotional landscape rather than an complex re-defining of adult relationships based on a changing gender presentation.
Plus, for me, puberty as a female-bodied person was completely uneventful in that it did not involve emotional turmoil and I ignored the various physical changes. So...eh, I get it's a meme, or even a real thing, but...it's not a helpful framework for me and in fact I don't really like it very much. It's also (fortunately) not how the medical professional from whom I got my prescription described it.
Steam, LoL: credeiki
0
Options
3cl1ps3I will build a labyrinth to house the cheeseRegistered Userregular
I am 95% certain that starting hormones has fucked with the skin on my face and I don't know how to deal with it because, as one might expect, I am someone who has gone through life without understanding the basics of skincare.
Now the top half of my face is more oily than it used to be and the bottom half is dry(?) and peeling(???)
What am I supposed to do about that? As a teenager I had cooperative skin, so I'm really at a loss.
Yeah so something that's not well explained to people is that when you go on hormones, the first few months (or longer depending on your individual biology) will basically be another puberty. Peoples' skin tends to get greasier, they sleep more, and they get to deal with all the other fun bits of puberty. Whee!
(not actually whee)
I'm aware that people say that. I'd be pretty hesitant to use that sort of language for myself because it's pretty infantilizing and not particularly accurate as often 'puberty' evokes a particular teenage socio-emotional landscape rather than an complex re-defining of adult relationships based on a changing gender presentation.
Plus, for me, puberty as a female-bodied person was completely uneventful in that it did not involve emotional turmoil and I ignored the various physical changes. So...eh, I get it's a meme, or even a real thing, but...it's not a helpful framework for me and in fact I don't really like it very much. It's also (fortunately) not how the medical professional from whom I got my prescription described it.
That's fair. It's how a number of my trans friends described it to me so that was what my understanding was based on.
+1
Options
Zilla36021st Century. |She/Her|Trans* Woman In Aviators Firing A Bazooka. ⚛️Registered Userregular
Going on T-blockers was like that scene from BTTF 3 where Doc sticks the super fuel rods in the train's engine*.
I got to 88MPH and suddenly a world that had felt (in so many parts) numb, awful, dull and grey my whole life prior; it became vivid, serene and amazing.
Feelings! Sensations! Crying about (and feeling somewhat silly for) how beautiful butterflies are whilst out hiking.
Though the looooooooooooooong wait for surgery since then has kind of sucked out some of the velocity out of my transition. I want to fly off and get everything done with, like yesterday. :bzz:
moving soon, getting some money together. looking to do a side-job while i get money together for the greater run at the writing career. probably gonna stick w/ the legal name at present and sorta do work in the closet again. its pretty shitty but i have some stuff to basically work out before i can do the whole fully out professionally sorta shit
My therapist sent me the invoice for last month's session in an envelope stamped with her name and the word "psychotherapy", instead of having a P.O. box on there
My mom collected this envelope and kept it hidden away for a day, presumably because she didn't want my dad to see it
But there is also a possiblity she might've googled my therapist's name and seen the type of work my therapist does
At the moment I don't want to believe this is what happened, but this is all less than cool
My therapist sent me the invoice for last month's session in an envelope stamped with her name and the word "psychotherapy", instead of having a P.O. box on there
My mom collected this envelope and kept it hidden away for a day, presumably because she didn't want my dad to see it
But there is also a possiblity she might've googled my therapist's name and seen the type of work my therapist does
At the moment I don't want to believe this is what happened, but this is all less than cool
This is extremely unprofessional on their part. You've said before in the thread that you don't have many other options for therapy, so I think it's worth being direct with them and setting down some boundaries. Doing things that cause you distress is completely at odds with the service they should be providing.
+33
Options
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Spent the day with my best mate and her husband. Asked them to start using my new name and pronouns. She only slipped up once.
Her 18 month old child obviously kept calling me my old name. Every time she did her mother was like "Can you say 'Seth'?" and the kid would smile and go "Yep!" but not actually say it. Which was some top level trolling. Then finally as I left to come home she said "Byebye Teth."
Thanks! This wardrobe service has been amazing for helping me nail down an aesthetic, also I've learned what clothes to avoid re: dysphoria.
Do you mind if I ask which wardrobe service you are using? I was considering using one before my department got put on the timer for axing, and will probably look at one again once I’ve got a new income source.
Question from a dummy here. I've made a good new NB friend and so far I only had one slip up which they caught me on and I apologized for. BUT I'm looking for help. Specifically, I'm looking for playful friend words that are gender neutral - like pal, buddy, etc. I guess I speak like a 1930s detective or something because I tend to drop those into my sentences for emphasis a lot (man, lady, whatever)?
Two that I use a lot that I've been informed are gender neutral but I am reluctant to use are babe and dude. I'm curious what the group's thoughts are and/or if anyone has more vocabulary suggestions?
0
Options
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Question from a dummy here. I've made a good new NB friend and so far I only had one slip up which they caught me on and I apologized for. BUT I'm looking for help. Specifically, I'm looking for playful friend words that are gender neutral - like pal, buddy, etc. I guess I speak like a 1930s detective or something because I tend to drop those into my sentences for emphasis a lot (man, lady, whatever)?
Two that I use a lot that I've been informed are gender neutral but I am reluctant to use are babe and dude. I'm curious what the group's thoughts are and/or if anyone has more vocabulary suggestions?
This can vary person to person (I don't like being called 'mate' though it's generally accepted to be gender neutral), so your best bet may be just to ask them what they prefer.
joke suggestion: pardner
+1
Options
minor incidentexpert in a dying fieldnjRegistered Userregular
I have a friend with whom we have settled on "home slice" as our term.
But yeah, this is something you should probably talk about. I have another friend who is onboard with "dude", but a lot of people aren't.
Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
Between this thread and a very cultivated Twitter following, I've been lucky to find other late 30s transgender women with kids, and it has been so amazing to my mental health.
@Erin The Red is at the top of the list of course, she rules!
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Oh yeah I also got my deed polls signed today. So I guess I can do all my name change stuff whenever I want to. Which I kind of do but also kind of aaaaaagh.
Sigh. I like to occasionally go online and talk about demisexuality on twitter, but it seems like I can't ever actually search for discussions on it without coming across folks claiming that it isn't really a thing.
Gonna spoiler this rant, because it's a little uncomfortable to talk about and I feel like it's gonna run on a bit long. Please bear with me.
I will preface this by saying that I am.... well, ,"different" in a few ways. I'm autistic spectrum, I'm ADHD, I'm a kinisthetic learner who couldn't get through college due to being unable to remember things in a course that was lecture based, my social skills have always been subpar and my ability to communicate makes meaningful understanding with others far more work than it ought to be.
I've actually got more than a little resentment towards folks at large because of how difficult it is for me to blend in and not stand out. So I get frustrated very quickly at the idea that something about me that pretty explicitly makes me feel isolated from most people is totally ordinary, and that wanting to put a label on it is just me wanting to feel special. As if I fucking need any new labels to feel separated from average folks.
But anyway, I'll get to my point.
I keep seeing folks argue that Demisexuality - the inability to feel sexual attraction towards a person until an emotional connection is formed - is the standard that most people already go through.
But I see folks making passes at others, specifically demonstrating sexual interest in other people they barely know, ALL THE TIME.
Not to suggest that everyone is horny for other people constantly. I'm aware that most people aren't that sexually active. Everyone is different and no two people have the exact same sexual experiences.
That said, it seems like the vast majority of people don't need to clear that prerequisite in order for attraction to take place. I think it's more accurate to say that folks seek to develop some connection before they feel secure with attempting to act on the attraction that's already there. The attraction itself doesn't seem to be a hurdle for most people.
But I'm not everyone else, so I guess I can't confirm this as hard fact?
The fact that I hardly ever had any desire to have sex with another person until over 20 years after I entered puberty was....a cause of concern for me for a long time. I wasn't so much concerned about the lack of sexual interest in any particular person at all, exactly. It was more that everyone else seemed more or less actively interested in it while I very much was not.
If I just had no sexual interests at all, I probably would have deduced that I'm asexual. But I was never devoid of sexual interest, exactly. I just never ever felt anything strong enough to make me want to act on it with anybody.
So I couldn't call myself asexual outright, but I couldn't really call myself normally sexual either (aka: Allosexual).
At times, I felt like something in me must have been broken, because I could think of no other explanation that rationalized the way I was.
When I fell in love with Amara and became familiar with the concept of Demisexuality - a label that just about perfectly describes my experience with sexuality - it was a HUGE relief. I suddenly didn't feel like a freak anymore.
And seeing people want to invalidate that label....hurts. It's like other people don't WANT me to stop feeling like a freak. They'd rather I hate myself, than accept that not all people experience sexuality the way they do.
Went for a bit of a walk around my university campus today, since it's been like 8 years since I last studied there and there's a lot of new buildings and spaces now, and there was a lot of real cool real queer art around the place.
There was this big seating area that had some weird metal outlines of the, like, gender symbols you'd see on bathroom doors etc. except there was a third that was the nonbinary style one. Just right there out in the open, very cool to see. Also a bunch of nice street art probably done by art students one year and there were several cute paintings of obviously queer couples.
Just feels real nice to see that stuff around the place on campus.
Posts
Oh yeah, I was just realizing today in the shower I haven't had to deal with back acne in months.
I'm aware that people say that. I'd be pretty hesitant to use that sort of language for myself because it's pretty infantilizing and not particularly accurate as often 'puberty' evokes a particular teenage socio-emotional landscape rather than an complex re-defining of adult relationships based on a changing gender presentation.
Plus, for me, puberty as a female-bodied person was completely uneventful in that it did not involve emotional turmoil and I ignored the various physical changes. So...eh, I get it's a meme, or even a real thing, but...it's not a helpful framework for me and in fact I don't really like it very much. It's also (fortunately) not how the medical professional from whom I got my prescription described it.
That's fair. It's how a number of my trans friends described it to me so that was what my understanding was based on.
I got to 88MPH and suddenly a world that had felt (in so many parts) numb, awful, dull and grey my whole life prior; it became vivid, serene and amazing.
Feelings! Sensations! Crying about (and feeling somewhat silly for) how beautiful butterflies are whilst out hiking.
Though the looooooooooooooong wait for surgery since then has kind of sucked out some of the velocity out of my transition. I want to fly off and get everything done with, like yesterday. :bzz:
*Except it goes in the muscles in your butt.
Immaculate punnage.
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
My mom collected this envelope and kept it hidden away for a day, presumably because she didn't want my dad to see it
But there is also a possiblity she might've googled my therapist's name and seen the type of work my therapist does
At the moment I don't want to believe this is what happened, but this is all less than cool
This is extremely unprofessional on their part. You've said before in the thread that you don't have many other options for therapy, so I think it's worth being direct with them and setting down some boundaries. Doing things that cause you distress is completely at odds with the service they should be providing.
Her 18 month old child obviously kept calling me my old name. Every time she did her mother was like "Can you say 'Seth'?" and the kid would smile and go "Yep!" but not actually say it. Which was some top level trolling. Then finally as I left to come home she said "Byebye Teth."
Though at 18 months learning and integrating and using a new word inside a day is p good. Even if that new word is your name.
once you get over the candor (honestly, candor is pretty nice sometimes) kids are really great about this stuff
one of the questions I kept getting asked is "why do you have a boy's voice?"
which I corrected with "I don't have a boy's voice, I just have a deep voice"
and usually they'd shrug or go "okay!" and that was it
there was one child who kept trying to frik with me, tho
his mom caught wind of it, though, and took care of it before he even began to stretch my patience
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Do you mind if I ask which wardrobe service you are using? I was considering using one before my department got put on the timer for axing, and will probably look at one again once I’ve got a new income source.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
Amazon Prime Wardrobe - it's included if you have Prime and you can request stuff when you want, not just once per month.
Two that I use a lot that I've been informed are gender neutral but I am reluctant to use are babe and dude. I'm curious what the group's thoughts are and/or if anyone has more vocabulary suggestions?
That kid thinks I'm pretty great :cool:
Smart kid
This can vary person to person (I don't like being called 'mate' though it's generally accepted to be gender neutral), so your best bet may be just to ask them what they prefer.
joke suggestion: pardner
But yeah, this is something you should probably talk about. I have another friend who is onboard with "dude", but a lot of people aren't.
Hey! I'm only 32!
fixed :cool:
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
I am...concerned that TSA agents might be shitty to trans people
https://www.tsa.gov/transgender-passengers
Again, I have no idea if this is useful in practice, but it is good to know your rights when traveling.
Thanks!
very
tiring
young children are like usually at a 10 level of energy up until they konk out and take a nap/go to sleep.
I uh....buh?
Thanks?
Thanks.
You do too
(I'm slightly less shit at accepting compliments now!)
Also! Another installment in "Erin wears bright colors because why not"
I got to spend a couple hours watching Sailor Moon with a partner via rabbit and gosh it was very nice.
Be gay. Do crimes. Have Bulldog, will travel.
lmao
I was honestly very confused by this statement, until I read it out loud.
Gonna spoiler this rant, because it's a little uncomfortable to talk about and I feel like it's gonna run on a bit long. Please bear with me.
I've actually got more than a little resentment towards folks at large because of how difficult it is for me to blend in and not stand out. So I get frustrated very quickly at the idea that something about me that pretty explicitly makes me feel isolated from most people is totally ordinary, and that wanting to put a label on it is just me wanting to feel special. As if I fucking need any new labels to feel separated from average folks.
But anyway, I'll get to my point.
I keep seeing folks argue that Demisexuality - the inability to feel sexual attraction towards a person until an emotional connection is formed - is the standard that most people already go through.
But I see folks making passes at others, specifically demonstrating sexual interest in other people they barely know, ALL THE TIME.
Not to suggest that everyone is horny for other people constantly. I'm aware that most people aren't that sexually active. Everyone is different and no two people have the exact same sexual experiences.
That said, it seems like the vast majority of people don't need to clear that prerequisite in order for attraction to take place. I think it's more accurate to say that folks seek to develop some connection before they feel secure with attempting to act on the attraction that's already there. The attraction itself doesn't seem to be a hurdle for most people.
But I'm not everyone else, so I guess I can't confirm this as hard fact?
The fact that I hardly ever had any desire to have sex with another person until over 20 years after I entered puberty was....a cause of concern for me for a long time. I wasn't so much concerned about the lack of sexual interest in any particular person at all, exactly. It was more that everyone else seemed more or less actively interested in it while I very much was not.
If I just had no sexual interests at all, I probably would have deduced that I'm asexual. But I was never devoid of sexual interest, exactly. I just never ever felt anything strong enough to make me want to act on it with anybody.
So I couldn't call myself asexual outright, but I couldn't really call myself normally sexual either (aka: Allosexual).
At times, I felt like something in me must have been broken, because I could think of no other explanation that rationalized the way I was.
When I fell in love with Amara and became familiar with the concept of Demisexuality - a label that just about perfectly describes my experience with sexuality - it was a HUGE relief. I suddenly didn't feel like a freak anymore.
And seeing people want to invalidate that label....hurts. It's like other people don't WANT me to stop feeling like a freak. They'd rather I hate myself, than accept that not all people experience sexuality the way they do.
And it really sucks.
There was this big seating area that had some weird metal outlines of the, like, gender symbols you'd see on bathroom doors etc. except there was a third that was the nonbinary style one. Just right there out in the open, very cool to see. Also a bunch of nice street art probably done by art students one year and there were several cute paintings of obviously queer couples.
Just feels real nice to see that stuff around the place on campus.
e: didn't get the symbols one but