Palpatine coming back as a surprise villain in the very end is a little fanservicey for my tastes but I don't mind it because this is the end of the Ep 1-9 saga. It's more about wrapping up the series than it is about introducing lots of new plot threads. So yeah it's corny and derivative, but that's okay by me as long as it sets up the franchise nicely for entirely new stories in the upcoming trilogies. Let them put a bow on it and definitively wrap up every last thing from the OTs, if that means we never have to see those callbacks again.
The problem is, whose story is this?
The first trilogy was Luke's story, but with a strong connection to Darth Vader.
The prequel trilogy was Anakin's story of how he becomes Darth Vader.
So you have six films with a lot of focus, character-wise. I mean hell, Return of the Jedi culminates in the return of the Jedi known as Anakin rather than Vader. He saves the day. For as evil as he was over three and a half films, he was still the hero in the end.
So what are these new films, 7, 8 and 9, adding to that story? The Emperor wildly showing up all of a sudden for the 9th is like an attempt to make sure it was "all connected all along," but this is as jarring as The Dark Knight Rises in its flaccid attempt to make those films "actually it was a three-film-long plot!" without the other two films having ever gone down that path whatsoever.
It's definitely Rey and Ben's story, with the original trio all gone now, all that's left is for them to resolve their conflict. Palpatine is just a fanservice villain to spice things up and put butts in seats, but I don't think it will take away from Rey's accomplishments as the protagonist.
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HenroidMexican kicked from Immigration ThreadCentrism is Racism :3Registered Userregular
Palpatine coming back as a surprise villain in the very end is a little fanservicey for my tastes but I don't mind it because this is the end of the Ep 1-9 saga. It's more about wrapping up the series than it is about introducing lots of new plot threads. So yeah it's corny and derivative, but that's okay by me as long as it sets up the franchise nicely for entirely new stories in the upcoming trilogies. Let them put a bow on it and definitively wrap up every last thing from the OTs, if that means we never have to see those callbacks again.
The problem is, whose story is this?
The first trilogy was Luke's story, but with a strong connection to Darth Vader.
The prequel trilogy was Anakin's story of how he becomes Darth Vader.
So you have six films with a lot of focus, character-wise. I mean hell, Return of the Jedi culminates in the return of the Jedi known as Anakin rather than Vader. He saves the day. For as evil as he was over three and a half films, he was still the hero in the end.
So what are these new films, 7, 8 and 9, adding to that story? The Emperor wildly showing up all of a sudden for the 9th is like an attempt to make sure it was "all connected all along," but this is as jarring as The Dark Knight Rises in its flaccid attempt to make those films "actually it was a three-film-long plot!" without the other two films having ever gone down that path whatsoever.
It's definitely Rey and Ben's story, with the original trio all gone now, all that's left is for them to resolve their conflict. Palpatine is just a fanservice villain to spice things up and put butts in seats, but I don't think it will take away from Rey's accomplishments as the protagonist.
I should've been clearer. I don't mean to ask "whose story is this" as in "I don't know ASCII SHRUG HERE." I mean to ask in the sense of, why is this episodes 7, 8, and 9 if it's a different arc altogether?
This trailer seemed to be saying "shush shush now, Star Wars babies, don't worry your little heads. We won't subvert a single expectation with this one. We pinky swear!"
I dislike the direction the series seems to be going from the looks of a trailer so I will make fun of people who disliked the direction the series went previously.
Could someone explain the "small galaxy" comments? Because the OT had Tatooine, Alderaan, and Yavin in ANH, Hoth and Bspin in ESB, Tatooine (again) and Endor in RotJ. That is all of five separate planets in three films. I honestly don't remember how many in the PT, but I'm going to guess it's similar. In the ST, we've got Jakku, the bar planet with the lightsaber, the rebel base, the weapon planet, the casino planet, and the salt planet. We're already past the OT on number of planets we've been to and we've still got one more movie.
there is also dantooine.
when people say small galaxy they mean that they frame the world as small. the enemies has a super death star. the laser is shown destroying 5 planets and the republic is ended. Then in TLJ the republic forces are reduced to 3 main cruisers. it fully ends with the rebellion being 1 millenium falcon ship with maybe 50 people.
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HenroidMexican kicked from Immigration ThreadCentrism is Racism :3Registered Userregular
When I say the galaxy is small, I mean Lucas was reusing planets over and over, and the same places of those planets.
Also don't forget the lack of dynamic climates on the planets.
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FencingsaxIt is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understandingGNU Terry PratchettRegistered Userregular
When I say the galaxy is small, I mean Lucas was reusing planets over and over, and the same places of those planets.
Also don't forget the lack of dynamic climates on the planets.
When you think about how much it really costs to ferry your entire cast and crew to different planets, and different locations on those planets, I think it makes a lot more sense about why Lucas tried to limit that.
When I say the galaxy is small, I mean Lucas was reusing planets over and over, and the same places of those planets.
Also don't forget the lack of dynamic climates on the planets.
When you think about how much it really costs to ferry your entire cast and crew to different planets, and different locations on those planets, I think it makes a lot more sense about why Lucas tried to limit that.
:P
I hate to be the one to tell you this but the different planets were made up, it was all filmed on Earth.
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ShadowenSnores in the morningLoserdomRegistered Userregular
This trailer seemed to be saying "shush shush now, Star Wars babies, don't worry your little heads. We won't subvert a single expectation with this one. We pinky swear!"
I dislike the direction the series seems to be going from the looks of a trailer so I will make fun of people who disliked the direction the series went previously.
Do you not see the irony here?
I never said I disliked the direction they are going. It looks very safe and I am fine with that.
I'm excited for more Star Wars. I showed the trailer to my wife on the way to coffee this morning. We talked about Star Wars over breakfast. I think the trailer worked on me.
I just came here to say that the subtext is stupid and that title is stupid and if you wanted to do anything remotely resembling ending the 'Skywalker Saga' (whatever the fuck that means) you could do a lot better than referencing the character in the fucking subtitle.
But again, this is J.J. Abrams who is (a) a fucking hack and (b) doesn't know how to write a script that doesn't include four unanswerable questions (mysteries) of which he has no plans to expand on or solve.
Yeah, like, really though? The end of the 'Skywalker Saga' which is a term I haven't heard before this years celebration quotes the last movie as the 'Skywalker Rises'.
How the fuck are you supposed to interpret that? I'll put my mortgage payment down on the idea that Abrams decided that no, fuck, Rey is NOW a Skywalker who is going to re-establish the Jedi Academy.
In fact, fuck it, that is exactly what is going to happen someone post mark this shit next to my claim that End Game is going to make 3B (billion) dollars at the theater.
I just came here to say that the subtext is stupid and that title is stupid and if you wanted to do anything remotely resembling ending the 'Skywalker Saga' (whatever the fuck that means) you could do a lot better than referencing the character in the fucking subtitle.
But again, this is J.J. Abrams who is (a) a fucking hack and (b) doesn't know how to write a script that doesn't include four unanswerable questions (mysteries) of which he has no plans to expand on or solve.
Just give Star Wars to the Russo Brothers, fuck.
I mean, we know the Russos can deliver a good, thematically consistent sequel. So they've got that going for them, which is nice.
Yeah, like, really though? The end of the 'Skywalker Saga' which is a term I haven't heard before this years celebration quotes the last movie as the 'Skywalker Rises'.
How the fuck are you supposed to interpret that? I'll put my mortgage payment down on the idea that Abrams decided that no, fuck, Rey is NOW a Skywalker who is going to re-establish the Jedi Academy.
In fact, fuck it, that is exactly what is going to happen someone post mark this shit next to my claim that End Game is going to make 3B (billion) dollars at the theater.
In the shocking conclusion to the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, we find the answer to the most dangerous question of all: can Force Ghosts adopt living Force Users? The answer may surprise you!
Yeah, like, really though? The end of the 'Skywalker Saga' which is a term I haven't heard before this years celebration quotes the last movie as the 'Skywalker Rises'.
How the fuck are you supposed to interpret that? I'll put my mortgage payment down on the idea that Abrams decided that no, fuck, Rey is NOW a Skywalker who is going to re-establish the Jedi Academy.
In fact, fuck it, that is exactly what is going to happen someone post mark this shit next to my claim that End Game is going to make 3B (billion) dollars at the theater.
What kind of square footage are we talking here?
2600 finished, 1200 unfinished. Come at me cause even while I was typing that out it felt so real.
I thought I had found something special ...a new ...hhhhh...Emperor. But I was ...mistaken. All I see before me now is a dilettante, in a secondhand Hugh Hefner robe. (SNOKE bridles, but quickly hides his anger).
I don't see why the Force can't resurrect people. The force affects matters. Ghosts prove souls exist. The force can bring people back to life. Luke is gonna rise from the dead on the 3rd day.
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ShadowenSnores in the morningLoserdomRegistered Userregular
RyloKen: I don't remember reassembling my mask with gaudy red cement but am I gonna wear it? You bet your ass DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: mask looks like a volcano with varicose veins man RyloKen: i know man this looks like some World of Warcraft raid finder shit but I'm going to try it for a week DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: mask looks like Killmonger and a Praetorian got Tuvix'd RyloKen: fuck DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: mask looks like a Sith Empire-era dark lord turned Vader inside out DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: i get all the top streetwear info off the holonet but somehow i missed the WWE X SySnootles collabo DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: dude was Doctor Doom selling scrapped Doombot faceplate designs RyloKen: i'm legit mad at you dude DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: so did you just dribble some hot wax over a bondage hood prop from a CSI ep or what DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: you know that one mask in The Old Republic? did you dig it up and then decide that the eyes and mouth made it too interesting? DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: was this custom made for some goth Twi'lek male stripper revue or what DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: the mask is a little much Ben DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: is this from the Hot Topic Rey Mysterio collection DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: did someone come up with the idea for this by inverting colors on a blue cheese commercial RyloKen: dameron stop roasting my goddamn mask DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: you know i can't do that man DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: what are the exact legal grounds for tearing down a mask for being a public eyesore DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: mask looks like my bedroom wallpaper during my nu-metal phase DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: mask is like...what if the guy who painted disturbed's album covers made a motorcycle helmet DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: just watched the behind the scenes shit from the dvd of GI Joe and Ray Park refused to wear this while playing Snake Eyes because it was quote a little much unquote DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: this is straight up from a BDSM shoot about Hawaii. like, the Hawaiian islands are the stars DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: i think I saw a damaged Cylon looking like this in Galactica 1980 DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: anyway, great mask, enjoy DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: unfortunately it's made out of balrog ass DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: straight up looks like a teakettle from the Criss Angel collection on QVC DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: the mask has some problems dude DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: by the way did you get that mask out of a kids' meal at a shitty Medieval Times knockoff DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: when you put that on does the cement melt through the mask onto your face due to some kind of Tiki Lounge curse DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: hey next time you're prying stuff off a dead Image supervillain can you get me a deathray DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: if someone rubs the dome of your helmet for luck do they get teleported to the upside down DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: hey i gotta blow up your base but remind me when i'm making my daring escape that i wanted to tell you some shit about your mask DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe:Star Trek Voyager-ass mask RyloKen: dude, fuck off DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: ok goodbye man for real but also that is one Hirogen-looking mask DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: oh if you don't remember buying it it's probably because it fell into your yard off a dump truck carrying rejected costumes from the Elektra movie ReyOfSunshine: mask came with a bottle of Bacardi 151 DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: man did you pop that mask off a shitty 80s ninja toy that some 9-year-old bled on DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: did you steal that mask from darth maul's incompetent cousin's tomb ReyOfSunshine: i missed the year darth monae headlined coachella DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: that mask is the one thing held over from colin trevorrow's first draft for this movie ReyOfSunshine: everything else got junked but trevorrow had it in his contract the mask had to stay DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: did you find that mask in the adult novelty section at spencer gifts ReyOfSunshine: he got it from a cursed grabber claw machine at a bowling alley on one of the moons of iego DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: def leppard knockoff album cover-ass mask ReyOfSunshine: what if Burger King's Black Whopper was a mask RyloKen: what's fucked is that Rey keeps saying IRL "i'm really sorry for the mask jokes dude, sorry" while trying to kill me in a for-real lightsaber duel. it's like she can't help herself ReyOfSunshine: I am...and I can't DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: gotta be some pathological shit because the moment you remade the mask you must have known we would do this DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: did you write a Red Hood/Black Mask mpreg fanfic and is Batman going to adopt the kid
Act 2
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: are you talking about that goat blood sacrifice divination spell mask he had that one time ReyOfSunshine: yeah, the one that looks like a design the UN peacekeepers rejected in the evil mirrorverse DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: dogg that mask looks like Benioff and Weiss's whole vibe not as people but as artists
Act 3
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: i know i already said this is some def leppard knockoff album cover-ass mask but i literally saw a def leppard cover band's album cover that looked exactly like it RyloKen: the fuck man DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: mask looks like a tapestry in a castle gwar decided not to buy DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: that mask looks like a fuckboy's cock sock my man DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: that mask was hidden in the vault of a Russian oligarch who was like "nah this makes me look too evil" DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: if i asked what brand the mask was and you were like "Hugo Boss from the universe where the Nazis won" i'd be like "oh makes sense" DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: through the fire and the flames-ass mask DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: reject from crisis on earth X-ass mask DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: that mask is going to grow up to be some 40-year-old metalhead's airbrushed van DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: that mask was too demeaning for the gimp to wear in pulp fiction DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: a Quantum Leap cold open where Sam leaps into a new body and he just sees the mask he's wearing in the mirror and goes "oh boy" DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: I think this is what Reaper from Overwatch wore when he cameo'd in Pearl Jam's "Do The Evolution" video
Shadowen on
+2
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cj iwakuraThe Rhythm RegentBears The Name FreedomRegistered Userregular
For a brief shining moment I had thought that Kylo scene was him fighting the First Order, then I had to remind myself that any notion of him having depth went out the window when he went full psycho at the end of TLJ.
+2
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Dark Raven XLaugh hard, run fast,be kindRegistered Userregular
I like that the title is blue.
I am nervous about a lot of the rest. I'm getting a lot of "naaah, let's roll that back" vibes. Rey having fixed Anakin's lightsaber rather than build her own is mildly disappointing, and Ren putting that goddamned helmet back together is just... exhausting.
Still, I am hopeful that it doesn't look like we're doing a soft remake of RotJ and there's no Starkiller Base II. Yet.
cj iwakuraThe Rhythm RegentBears The Name FreedomRegistered Userregular
It amazes me how TLJ turned Poe from another scruffy badass pilot to possibly the biggest idiot in Rebellion history.
+6
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Ninja Snarl PMy helmet is my burden.Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered Userregular
I honestly didn't think I'd ever say this, but I just don't think I care about Star Wars anymore. After the prequel trilogy was junk, the whole EU was scrapped, and the directional whiplash from changing directors between Episodes 7 and 8, I just plain don't care where the franchise is going anymore. I was not impressed with Rian's efforts for 8, but I was at least willing to see if he could deliver something interesting from that for Episode 9; now we're back to the guy who pretty much just remade A New Hope and has made a career out of ignoring his failings as a director instead of actually trying to improve.
I dunno if I'll even bother to see this in theaters. They're trying to play it up as this big conclusion, but honestly? It's just the next movie in a fractured franchise that can't figure out what it's doing beyond a maximum amount of trying to hype money out of people. I'm no more excited for this than I was the forced Solo movie.
+8
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HenroidMexican kicked from Immigration ThreadCentrism is Racism :3Registered Userregular
I have the Solo film on my Netflix list and it's been sitting there for a while unwatched. I'm kinda scared to.
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OrcaAlso known as EspressosaurusWrexRegistered Userregular
I have the Solo film on my Netflix list and it's been sitting there for a while unwatched. I'm kinda scared to.
It's not bad, just...completely unnecessary.
Turn your brain off and it's a fun romp in a familiar setting. Ignore all the LOOK, IT'S HAN SOLO'S PANTS! moments and it's a workmanlike movie. Like a mediocre Marvel film.
+12
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cj iwakuraThe Rhythm RegentBears The Name FreedomRegistered Userregular
Posts
For the next trilogy, they should limit all callbacks to the prequels. Then for the trilogy after that, we get sequel callbacks.
Star Wars!
It's definitely Rey and Ben's story, with the original trio all gone now, all that's left is for them to resolve their conflict. Palpatine is just a fanservice villain to spice things up and put butts in seats, but I don't think it will take away from Rey's accomplishments as the protagonist.
Sometimes, I’m embarrassed to be a Star Wars fan.
What.
I would enjoy it if IX was just 2 hours of Poe cracking jokes while Kylo looks on fuming
I dislike the direction the series seems to be going from the looks of a trailer so I will make fun of people who disliked the direction the series went previously.
Do you not see the irony here?
there is also dantooine.
when people say small galaxy they mean that they frame the world as small. the enemies has a super death star. the laser is shown destroying 5 planets and the republic is ended. Then in TLJ the republic forces are reduced to 3 main cruisers. it fully ends with the rebellion being 1 millenium falcon ship with maybe 50 people.
Also don't forget the lack of dynamic climates on the planets.
I mean, single biomes are a direct callback to the 50s serials he was referencing.
When you think about how much it really costs to ferry your entire cast and crew to different planets, and different locations on those planets, I think it makes a lot more sense about why Lucas tried to limit that.
:P
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ThatOneTwitterStoryOfTheGuy'sShoesGettingRoastedButIt'sPoeTalkingAboutKylo'sMask.html
From His Nap
“Got my ship back, baby! Wahoooooo!”
Maybe we should wait to see the movie first?
I never said I disliked the direction they are going. It looks very safe and I am fine with that.
But again, this is J.J. Abrams who is (a) a fucking hack and (b) doesn't know how to write a script that doesn't include four unanswerable questions (mysteries) of which he has no plans to expand on or solve.
Just give Star Wars to the Russo Brothers, fuck.
Yeah, like, really though? The end of the 'Skywalker Saga' which is a term I haven't heard before this years celebration quotes the last movie as the 'Skywalker Rises'.
How the fuck are you supposed to interpret that? I'll put my mortgage payment down on the idea that Abrams decided that no, fuck, Rey is NOW a Skywalker who is going to re-establish the Jedi Academy.
In fact, fuck it, that is exactly what is going to happen someone post mark this shit next to my claim that End Game is going to make 3B (billion) dollars at the theater.
Penny Arcade Rockstar Social Club / This is why I despise cyclists
What kind of square footage are we talking here?
Penny Arcade Rockstar Social Club / This is why I despise cyclists
2600 finished, 1200 unfinished. Come at me cause even while I was typing that out it felt so real.
The first thing I thought when I heard The Laugh in the new trailer was
Your Ad Here! Reasonable Rates!
FUCK IT WE'LL DO IT LIVE (and long)
Act 1
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: mask looks like a volcano with varicose veins man
RyloKen: i know man this looks like some World of Warcraft raid finder shit but I'm going to try it for a week
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: mask looks like Killmonger and a Praetorian got Tuvix'd
RyloKen: fuck
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: mask looks like a Sith Empire-era dark lord turned Vader inside out
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: i get all the top streetwear info off the holonet but somehow i missed the WWE X SySnootles collabo
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: dude was Doctor Doom selling scrapped Doombot faceplate designs
RyloKen: i'm legit mad at you dude
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: so did you just dribble some hot wax over a bondage hood prop from a CSI ep or what
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: you know that one mask in The Old Republic? did you dig it up and then decide that the eyes and mouth made it too interesting?
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: was this custom made for some goth Twi'lek male stripper revue or what
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: the mask is a little much Ben
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: is this from the Hot Topic Rey Mysterio collection
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: did someone come up with the idea for this by inverting colors on a blue cheese commercial
RyloKen: dameron stop roasting my goddamn mask
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: you know i can't do that man
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: what are the exact legal grounds for tearing down a mask for being a public eyesore
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: mask looks like my bedroom wallpaper during my nu-metal phase
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: mask is like...what if the guy who painted disturbed's album covers made a motorcycle helmet
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: just watched the behind the scenes shit from the dvd of GI Joe and Ray Park refused to wear this while playing Snake Eyes because it was quote a little much unquote
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: this is straight up from a BDSM shoot about Hawaii. like, the Hawaiian islands are the stars
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: i think I saw a damaged Cylon looking like this in Galactica 1980
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: anyway, great mask, enjoy
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: unfortunately it's made out of balrog ass
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: straight up looks like a teakettle from the Criss Angel collection on QVC
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: the mask has some problems dude
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: by the way did you get that mask out of a kids' meal at a shitty Medieval Times knockoff
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: when you put that on does the cement melt through the mask onto your face due to some kind of Tiki Lounge curse
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: hey next time you're prying stuff off a dead Image supervillain can you get me a deathray
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: if someone rubs the dome of your helmet for luck do they get teleported to the upside down
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: hey i gotta blow up your base but remind me when i'm making my daring escape that i wanted to tell you some shit about your mask
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: Star Trek Voyager-ass mask
RyloKen: dude, fuck off
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: ok goodbye man for real but also that is one Hirogen-looking mask
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: oh if you don't remember buying it it's probably because it fell into your yard off a dump truck carrying rejected costumes from the Elektra movie
ReyOfSunshine: mask came with a bottle of Bacardi 151
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: man did you pop that mask off a shitty 80s ninja toy that some 9-year-old bled on
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: did you steal that mask from darth maul's incompetent cousin's tomb
ReyOfSunshine: i missed the year darth monae headlined coachella
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: that mask is the one thing held over from colin trevorrow's first draft for this movie
ReyOfSunshine: everything else got junked but trevorrow had it in his contract the mask had to stay
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: did you find that mask in the adult novelty section at spencer gifts
ReyOfSunshine: he got it from a cursed grabber claw machine at a bowling alley on one of the moons of iego
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: def leppard knockoff album cover-ass mask
ReyOfSunshine: what if Burger King's Black Whopper was a mask
RyloKen: what's fucked is that Rey keeps saying IRL "i'm really sorry for the mask jokes dude, sorry" while trying to kill me in a for-real lightsaber duel. it's like she can't help herself
ReyOfSunshine: I am...and I can't
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: gotta be some pathological shit because the moment you remade the mask you must have known we would do this
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: did you write a Red Hood/Black Mask mpreg fanfic and is Batman going to adopt the kid
Act 2
ReyOfSunshine: yeah, the one that looks like a design the UN peacekeepers rejected in the evil mirrorverse
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: dogg that mask looks like Benioff and Weiss's whole vibe not as people but as artists
Act 3
RyloKen: the fuck man
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: mask looks like a tapestry in a castle gwar decided not to buy
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: that mask looks like a fuckboy's cock sock my man
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: that mask was hidden in the vault of a Russian oligarch who was like "nah this makes me look too evil"
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: if i asked what brand the mask was and you were like "Hugo Boss from the universe where the Nazis won" i'd be like "oh makes sense"
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: through the fire and the flames-ass mask
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: reject from crisis on earth X-ass mask
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: that mask is going to grow up to be some 40-year-old metalhead's airbrushed van
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: that mask was too demeaning for the gimp to wear in pulp fiction
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: a Quantum Leap cold open where Sam leaps into a new body and he just sees the mask he's wearing in the mirror and goes "oh boy"
DoNotFuckWithDisneyPoePoe: I think this is what Reaper from Overwatch wore when he cameo'd in Pearl Jam's "Do The Evolution" video
I am nervous about a lot of the rest. I'm getting a lot of "naaah, let's roll that back" vibes. Rey having fixed Anakin's lightsaber rather than build her own is mildly disappointing, and Ren putting that goddamned helmet back together is just... exhausting.
Still, I am hopeful that it doesn't look like we're doing a soft remake of RotJ and there's no Starkiller Base II. Yet.
Choose Your Own Chat 1 Choose Your Own Chat 2 Choose Your Own Chat 3
C-3PO: “Shiny and Chrome!”
I dunno if I'll even bother to see this in theaters. They're trying to play it up as this big conclusion, but honestly? It's just the next movie in a fractured franchise that can't figure out what it's doing beyond a maximum amount of trying to hype money out of people. I'm no more excited for this than I was the forced Solo movie.
It's not bad, just...completely unnecessary.
Turn your brain off and it's a fun romp in a familiar setting. Ignore all the LOOK, IT'S HAN SOLO'S PANTS! moments and it's a workmanlike movie. Like a mediocre Marvel film.
It's worth watching, it's definitely more unique than the likes of TFA, and has some fun scenes.
The stinger is the most insane thing I've seen since, well, ever.