Hmm. Libraries tend to attract people from a wide range of backgrounds and viewpoints and levels of stability. Pretty much what I can promise is "I can't guarantee that a fellow patron won't say horrid things to you, but I can guarantee that we'll make them leave if they do." In my case, would "friendly" still be an applicable modifier?
Edit: I'm thinking specifically of the old dude we banned for yelling racist shit at a couple of scared teenagers last summer. Like, he can't come back, but that doesn't untraumatize those kids, you know?
To me, yes. It's extremely valuable knowing that the establishment you're in has your back (and declares so openly). I'd feel safer, especially with things like bathrooms.
Triptycho: A card-and-dice tabletop indie RPG currently in development and playtesting
Hmm. Libraries tend to attract people from a wide range of backgrounds and viewpoints and levels of stability. Pretty much what I can promise is "I can't guarantee that a fellow patron won't say horrid things to you, but I can guarantee that we'll make them leave if they do." In my case, would "friendly" still be an applicable modifier?
Edit: I'm thinking specifically of the old dude we banned for yelling racist shit at a couple of scared teenagers last summer. Like, he can't come back, but that doesn't untraumatize those kids, you know?
To me, yes. It's extremely valuable knowing that the establishment you're in has your back (and declares so openly). I'd feel safer, especially with things like bathrooms.
Yeah, affirmative language is inviting, IMO... provided the library doesn’t also decide hosting a bunch of TERFs in the name ‘free speech’ sounds just spiffy.
Hmm. Libraries tend to attract people from a wide range of backgrounds and viewpoints and levels of stability. Pretty much what I can promise is "I can't guarantee that a fellow patron won't say horrid things to you, but I can guarantee that we'll make them leave if they do." In my case, would "friendly" still be an applicable modifier?
Edit: I'm thinking specifically of the old dude we banned for yelling racist shit at a couple of scared teenagers last summer. Like, he can't come back, but that doesn't untraumatize those kids, you know?
For me it would be, and I welcome those modifiers in activities that could invite shitty attitudes. The big catch for me is making sure all the staff is on board. Like if the people I interact with frequently as staff become sketchy about being supportive I tend to just bail. I could fight to have the institution change, but it is rare for me to want to start a fight I might never have had a chance of winning. It tends to start with "Well what if..." or "We need to consider..." and tends to go down hill fast from there.
As an example, I work at an in-patient facility that bills itself as trans friendly. Has all these nice questions on forms people don't ask, or pay attention to. The kicker it comes to assigning rooms all they really consider are your genitals. What if something happens, you see. And we really need to consider how vulnerable the cis people in the facility are. I very much correct this notion they are friendly as a result. Management wants to play nice, and the on the ground people fuck it up.
I don't mean to say I think either of you would let shit like this slide. Just as a thing to look out for, and maybe solicit feedback on if you can.
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
I'm on holiday, meaning I'm coming into contact with a lot more people I don't know than usual. I'm getting read as male 100% of the time if I'm wearing a hoody, and 60% of the time if not. It's been useful, as back home I don't interact with many people, and nobody really uses sir/ma'am so it's harder to judge anyway.
Could do without my parents fucking it up all the time by referring to me as she/daughter after someone's already called me sir. Or loudly calling me by my deadname literally as someone is reading my passport which is in my actual name. But of course I don't want to say anything to them because I don't want to make it a thing while on a holiday with them.
+18
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Zilla36021st Century. |She/Her|Trans* Woman In Aviators Firing A Bazooka. ⚛️Registered Userregular
edited February 2020
Tell me it's a hoody with a design that makes you look like an actual T-Rex. :P
Also I got dead-named by my hospital, after notifying them twice in nine years and being assured (both times) that their databases had been corrected. Bunch of lying liars.
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Sadly it's just a plain black hoody. But if hoodies are the key to getting reliably gendered correctly then I guess I need to acquire a few more, so maybe I can get one with a t-rex on.
hoodies are my armor, man. everyone needs a comfort hoodie or three
+15
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JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
Huh. I just realized that I don't have any hoodies at the moment. They all wore out. These days I mostly just do flannel over a tshirt if it's too cold for short sleeves but too warm for my big coat.
I probably need a hoodie.
+2
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
edited February 2020
everybody needs a hoodie or two
get it one size too big so you can snuggle up into it
edit: my hoodie has Souichi from the Junji Ito manga on it!
Just had to block a cousin. Dude was all appearances of welcoming acceptance / ally when I first came out, but then the rumbles about "transtrenders" started. And eventually exploded this morning into a cisplaining nightmare where I got accused of being an agenda-pushing Southern bigot for not believing that particular myth, which, to be fair, is the most incredible act of mental gymnastics I've ever witnessed first-hand. What is up with cishet faux-ally men and their need to "explain" shit to us?
This following an expected but nonetheless degrading experience last month of an aunt on the other side of the family telling my mom that I'll have to face God's judgment. She made that swift declaration as an immediate response to my mom thanking her for not saying anything harmful when the news was first communicated!
I know I'm lucky that it's just a few people who are, at this point, rather remote in my life anyway. Still hurts.
Triptycho: A card-and-dice tabletop indie RPG currently in development and playtesting
Super, super cool when people duck behind God to render judgment.
"They'll face God's judgment! Not mine mind you, I'm fine and tolerant, but you just watch out when you pass because hoo boy will God have some stuff to say, I'm pretty sure."
+22
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
last night I went to a bar, under duress.
I got in a convo with this old fella because my nails were painted, and I thought it was going to go poorly.
Instead, he lifted the cuff of his jeans to show me he was wearing fishnets
he said we're both "queer young men with the world in front of us"
+81
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Hypothetical: A couple of weeks back, my work had a department function at the big touristy place that we rented and had cater for us for the evening.
One of the boys working the bar had painted nails of a variety of colours and my intuition for such things is usually 50/50. I believe he could have been on the queer spectrum? I can't assume a lot of cishet guys paint their nails unless they're like, musicians or work in the arts somehow.
It doesn't matter to me on a like/dislike thought. Expression is great however you want to present yourself. I missed the opportunity to chat him up and compliment him on his nails anyway so it's all moot now.
I guess if anything, I'm kicking myself for not saying something? It could have at least led to an interesting chat, though there was so much noise, it would've been difficult to really have one. He was working, and it was a very club-like environment. Conversation with someone right in front of you meant having to lean in.
PSN: TheArcadeBear
Steam: TheArcadeBear
0
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mysticjuicer[he/him] I'm a muscle wizardand I cast P U N C HRegistered Userregular
I think even if they were straight, if they're painting their nails they're not going to take male flirting badly.
Just had to block a cousin. Dude was all appearances of welcoming acceptance / ally when I first came out, but then the rumbles about "transtrenders" started. And eventually exploded this morning into a cisplaining nightmare where I got accused of being an agenda-pushing Southern bigot for not believing that particular myth, which, to be fair, is the most incredible act of mental gymnastics I've ever witnessed first-hand. What is up with cishet faux-ally men and their need to "explain" shit to us?
This following an expected but nonetheless degrading experience last month of an aunt on the other side of the family telling my mom that I'll have to face God's judgment. She made that swift declaration as an immediate response to my mom thanking her for not saying anything harmful when the news was first communicated!
I know I'm lucky that it's just a few people who are, at this point, rather remote in my life anyway. Still hurts.
Transtrenders are... people who claim to be trans because it’s trendy?
Just had to block a cousin. Dude was all appearances of welcoming acceptance / ally when I first came out, but then the rumbles about "transtrenders" started. And eventually exploded this morning into a cisplaining nightmare where I got accused of being an agenda-pushing Southern bigot for not believing that particular myth, which, to be fair, is the most incredible act of mental gymnastics I've ever witnessed first-hand. What is up with cishet faux-ally men and their need to "explain" shit to us?
This following an expected but nonetheless degrading experience last month of an aunt on the other side of the family telling my mom that I'll have to face God's judgment. She made that swift declaration as an immediate response to my mom thanking her for not saying anything harmful when the news was first communicated!
I know I'm lucky that it's just a few people who are, at this point, rather remote in my life anyway. Still hurts.
Transtrenders are... people who claim to be trans because it’s trendy?
Oh god what a dumb thing to be believe in
A few years ago I was forced to endure a conversation with a person who insisted they weren't transphobic but just thought that doctors and parents were pushing non-trans people into transitioning and as I've actually listened to people who go through the process it was such obvious bullshit and he just wouldn't hear objections.
+11
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21stCenturyCall me Pixel, or Pix for short![They/Them]Registered Userregular
Big Trans, the corporation all trans people buy their medicine from, needs more customers.
Yeah, I had a friend from high school catch back up with me recently, and in the process of discussing people we'd both known back in the day they were still in contact with, they went hard on all this transtrender nonsense about another old friend who is now a trans man. And I was like... hold up, he came out 12 years ago, has been living openly as a guy in his professional life and with his family since then, shows every sign of being thrilled to be alive when he was non-stop depressed back before he came out, and you're still going to try to say it's a "phase" and that he's just being manipulated by his boyfriend, and misgender and deadname him a bunch of times?
It was an especially big downer, because the friend telling me this was the first non-binary person I ever knew, the first person I ever heard of asserting they/them pronouns back in the mid 90's, and played a huge influence in broadening my mind and dragging me out of my absolutely wretched Young Republican period. Even though it took me another 15 years after that to admit to myself that I was bisexual, a lot of the groundwork was laid by this friend who I'm pretty sure figured me out way before I figured myself out. It's just so shitty to see someone who was once such a trailblazer and force for inclusivity turn around and become a gatekeeper instead.
Realizing lately that I don't really trust or respect basically any of the moderators here. So, good luck with life, friends! Hit me up on Twitter @DesertLeviathan
The whole Big Pharma is Gonna Make You Trans schtick is really silly when you realize it already sells plenty of bullshit medications that are a much easier pitch than HRT.
Like, they literally sell hormones to people who already make those hormones. And it makes way more sense to sell a dude testosterone as a cure-all as opposed to something with very noticeable side-effects like estrogen. You look up HRT, and the results tend to be for menopausal women.
Acting like trans medication is some kind of cash cow is absolutely absurd when cis people are already a larger demographic for hormone meds than we are.
Just had to block a cousin. Dude was all appearances of welcoming acceptance / ally when I first came out, but then the rumbles about "transtrenders" started. And eventually exploded this morning into a cisplaining nightmare where I got accused of being an agenda-pushing Southern bigot for not believing that particular myth, which, to be fair, is the most incredible act of mental gymnastics I've ever witnessed first-hand. What is up with cishet faux-ally men and their need to "explain" shit to us?
This following an expected but nonetheless degrading experience last month of an aunt on the other side of the family telling my mom that I'll have to face God's judgment. She made that swift declaration as an immediate response to my mom thanking her for not saying anything harmful when the news was first communicated!
I know I'm lucky that it's just a few people who are, at this point, rather remote in my life anyway. Still hurts.
Transtrenders are... people who claim to be trans because it’s trendy?
Oh god what a dumb thing to be believe in
"Oh don't you know being assaulted in public is what's popular these days."
A loooot of transphobic garbage is just rebranded homophobic garbage from 20 years ago.
+40
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Zilla36021st Century. |She/Her|Trans* Woman In Aviators Firing A Bazooka. ⚛️Registered Userregular
edited February 2020
Went to the nail salon today and then later bought some new shoes. Some boots for kicking nazi's with and some cute little plimsolls I might customize a bit.
Nails:
Woman at the salon was very chatty, bi, and really into the 'Fable' series/trilogy. Like, that's the only console games she's ever played, apart from mobile/app store games!
She had no idea Fable 4 is in development, after Lionhead was shut down when 'Legends' was cancelled. I think I made her day.
DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
those nails look fresh as hell!
I also had no idea that Fable 4 was a thing!
+6
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
edited February 2020
Today is my one year anniversary of starting T. Would like to celebrate somehow, it feels more important to me than my actual birthday, but I'm going to be stuck in airports and on planes all day and night.
Obligatory photos!
I don't think I really look any different, just older and more tired, heh.
Nah bru your whole head has changed shape. Big difference imo, maybe you’re too used to seeing it to notice the changes. Look at how your jaw is squaring out.
Posts
Yeah, affirmative language is inviting, IMO... provided the library doesn’t also decide hosting a bunch of TERFs in the name ‘free speech’ sounds just spiffy.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
For me it would be, and I welcome those modifiers in activities that could invite shitty attitudes. The big catch for me is making sure all the staff is on board. Like if the people I interact with frequently as staff become sketchy about being supportive I tend to just bail. I could fight to have the institution change, but it is rare for me to want to start a fight I might never have had a chance of winning. It tends to start with "Well what if..." or "We need to consider..." and tends to go down hill fast from there.
As an example, I work at an in-patient facility that bills itself as trans friendly. Has all these nice questions on forms people don't ask, or pay attention to. The kicker it comes to assigning rooms all they really consider are your genitals. What if something happens, you see. And we really need to consider how vulnerable the cis people in the facility are. I very much correct this notion they are friendly as a result. Management wants to play nice, and the on the ground people fuck it up.
I don't mean to say I think either of you would let shit like this slide. Just as a thing to look out for, and maybe solicit feedback on if you can.
Could do without my parents fucking it up all the time by referring to me as she/daughter after someone's already called me sir. Or loudly calling me by my deadname literally as someone is reading my passport which is in my actual name. But of course I don't want to say anything to them because I don't want to make it a thing while on a holiday with them.
Also I got dead-named by my hospital, after notifying them twice in nine years and being assured (both times) that their databases had been corrected. Bunch of lying liars.
Time to go all GDPR on their assholes.
I've always really liked hoodies. Now I know why.
I probably need a hoodie.
get it one size too big so you can snuggle up into it
edit: my hoodie has Souichi from the Junji Ito manga on it!
Body scars? Stretch marks? All part of the beautiful human body.
Steam: TheArcadeBear
Go up to the desk, "Hello sir."
Give him my passport to look at, "Thank you, miss."
As I leave "Goodbye sir."
I guess it's good to have all your bases covered
It really does show the importance of communication in poly relationships.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
This ad from Starbucks made me legit cry. I couldn't even explain to mom why I was crying, just told her to go watch it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=60&v=7TEg6q1a3DE&feature=emb_logo
I just want y'all to know that you are all loved. So very very loved.
Edit sorry I fail at links. It's a commercial about the importance of names
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
As a side note getting coffee and having a name called out is a great way to test new name candidates if you have a few you like.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
This following an expected but nonetheless degrading experience last month of an aunt on the other side of the family telling my mom that I'll have to face God's judgment. She made that swift declaration as an immediate response to my mom thanking her for not saying anything harmful when the news was first communicated!
I know I'm lucky that it's just a few people who are, at this point, rather remote in my life anyway. Still hurts.
"They'll face God's judgment! Not mine mind you, I'm fine and tolerant, but you just watch out when you pass because hoo boy will God have some stuff to say, I'm pretty sure."
I got in a convo with this old fella because my nails were painted, and I thought it was going to go poorly.
Instead, he lifted the cuff of his jeans to show me he was wearing fishnets
he said we're both "queer young men with the world in front of us"
One of the boys working the bar had painted nails of a variety of colours and my intuition for such things is usually 50/50. I believe he could have been on the queer spectrum? I can't assume a lot of cishet guys paint their nails unless they're like, musicians or work in the arts somehow.
Steam: TheArcadeBear
I guess if anything, I'm kicking myself for not saying something? It could have at least led to an interesting chat, though there was so much noise, it would've been difficult to really have one. He was working, and it was a very club-like environment. Conversation with someone right in front of you meant having to lean in.
Steam: TheArcadeBear
Transtrenders are... people who claim to be trans because it’s trendy?
Oh god what a dumb thing to be believe in
A few years ago I was forced to endure a conversation with a person who insisted they weren't transphobic but just thought that doctors and parents were pushing non-trans people into transitioning and as I've actually listened to people who go through the process it was such obvious bullshit and he just wouldn't hear objections.
clearly.
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
It was an especially big downer, because the friend telling me this was the first non-binary person I ever knew, the first person I ever heard of asserting they/them pronouns back in the mid 90's, and played a huge influence in broadening my mind and dragging me out of my absolutely wretched Young Republican period. Even though it took me another 15 years after that to admit to myself that I was bisexual, a lot of the groundwork was laid by this friend who I'm pretty sure figured me out way before I figured myself out. It's just so shitty to see someone who was once such a trailblazer and force for inclusivity turn around and become a gatekeeper instead.
Like, they literally sell hormones to people who already make those hormones. And it makes way more sense to sell a dude testosterone as a cure-all as opposed to something with very noticeable side-effects like estrogen. You look up HRT, and the results tend to be for menopausal women.
Acting like trans medication is some kind of cash cow is absolutely absurd when cis people are already a larger demographic for hormone meds than we are.
Pfft.
*am not aware of a single instance of this occurring
And even then wacky shenanigans ensued
Nails:
Woman at the salon was very chatty, bi, and really into the 'Fable' series/trilogy. Like, that's the only console games she's ever played, apart from mobile/app store games!
She had no idea Fable 4 is in development, after Lionhead was shut down when 'Legends' was cancelled. I think I made her day.
I also had no idea that Fable 4 was a thing!
Obligatory photos!
I don't think I really look any different, just older and more tired, heh.