AnialosCollies are love, Collies are life!Shadowbrook ColliesRegistered Userregular
So, update on me. I came out on Facebook as non-binary and Bi. Only had to block one person so far. Conversation with mom went better than I expected. Still haven't talked to my youngest sister or my dad. Honestly don't really care to.
Oh, and my wife have me a home barber undercut style doo today.
I have a new Dr. that is using very good guidelines for HRT and is actually listening to me about what feels good for me.
What is this witchcraft?
I guess moving to SF was very much the right move.
Mostly just huntin' monsters.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
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Hi I'm Vee!Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C ERegistered Userregular
Yes hi hello I am having gender thoughts and stuff and I think I might like to be a lady now please maybe.
I would very much like to talk to a professional about this because ofc my situation is unique and special and the doubts and whatnot that I'm having are not like anybody else's etc etc
What are some good resources for finding a good professional to talk to? I live in the US, currently waiting out the pandemic in Kentucky, but normally live in Nashville. While it would be very nice to find someone local, I'm thinking I might be able to take advantage of the fact that many doctors are doing remote sessions now, so perhaps I don't have to be limited by whoever's in my area?
I've heard a lot of horror stories about shitty terrible therapists for transfolk over the years, and I would very much like to avoid that if I can (obviously). This is all very recent and new and I'm not even sure how sure I am about this. What I really want is someone to help me work through this; I don't want to go somewhere and just 'say the right things' to get HRT and whatnot, I want someone to genuinely help me decide whether HRT is right for me.
PS if you are from [chat] and are reading this, please don't bring it up there for now, I have a lot to work through before I go proper public and stuff.
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MsAnthropyThe Lady of Pain Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the RhythmThe City of FlowersRegistered Userregular
Yes hi hello I am having gender thoughts and stuff and I think I might like to be a lady now please maybe.
I would very much like to talk to a professional about this because ofc my situation is unique and special and the doubts and whatnot that I'm having are not like anybody else's etc etc
What are some good resources for finding a good professional to talk to? I live in the US, currently waiting out the pandemic in Kentucky, but normally live in Nashville. While it would be very nice to find someone local, I'm thinking I might be able to take advantage of the fact that many doctors are doing remote sessions now, so perhaps I don't have to be limited by whoever's in my area?
I've heard a lot of horror stories about shitty terrible therapists for transfolk over the years, and I would very much like to avoid that if I can (obviously). This is all very recent and new and I'm not even sure how sure I am about this. What I really want is someone to help me work through this; I don't want to go somewhere and just 'say the right things' to get HRT and whatnot, I want someone to genuinely help me decide whether HRT is right for me.
PS if you are from [chat] and are reading this, please don't bring it up there for now, I have a lot to work through before I go proper public and stuff.
*Hugs*
You will probably be slightly freer to find a therapist, but you will probably still have to find someone licensed to practice in the state in which you would do virtual sessions. As far as finding one, do you know if there are any queer-focused health or community centers in your state? Those would potentially be a good place to start. If not, you might check out Psychology Today and search for providers in your area who state they work with trans* communities. The latter approach is how I found my first therapist and she was incredibly helpful (though in a more progressive part of the country). If you find one or two candidates I would also recommending doing a short intro session with them focused on whether they would be a good fit for you or not.
Yes hi hello I am having gender thoughts and stuff and I think I might like to be a lady now please maybe.
I would very much like to talk to a professional about this because ofc my situation is unique and special and the doubts and whatnot that I'm having are not like anybody else's etc etc
What are some good resources for finding a good professional to talk to? I live in the US, currently waiting out the pandemic in Kentucky, but normally live in Nashville. While it would be very nice to find someone local, I'm thinking I might be able to take advantage of the fact that many doctors are doing remote sessions now, so perhaps I don't have to be limited by whoever's in my area?
I've heard a lot of horror stories about shitty terrible therapists for transfolk over the years, and I would very much like to avoid that if I can (obviously). This is all very recent and new and I'm not even sure how sure I am about this. What I really want is someone to help me work through this; I don't want to go somewhere and just 'say the right things' to get HRT and whatnot, I want someone to genuinely help me decide whether HRT is right for me.
PS if you are from [chat] and are reading this, please don't bring it up there for now, I have a lot to work through before I go proper public and stuff.
*Hugs*
You will probably be slightly freer to find a therapist, but you will probably still have to find someone licensed to practice in the state in which you would do virtual sessions. As far as finding one, do you know if there are any queer-focused health or community centers in your state? Those would potentially be a good place to start. If not, you might check out Psychology Today and search for providers in your area who state they work with trans* communities. The latter approach is how I found my first therapist and she was incredibly helpful (though in a more progressive part of the country). If you find one or two candidates I would also recommending doing a short intro session with them focused on whether they would be a good fit for you or not.
Ah, I didn't know about the bolded.
I haven't done any research at all yet because I figured just googling "trans therapists" might lead me down some false paths. I'll look into queer health/community centers and poke around on Psychology Today. Thank you!
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Hi I'm Vee!Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C ERegistered Userregular
Should I be looking for a therapist or a psychiatrist first?
Yes hi hello I am having gender thoughts and stuff and I think I might like to be a lady now please maybe.
I would very much like to talk to a professional about this because ofc my situation is unique and special and the doubts and whatnot that I'm having are not like anybody else's etc etc
What are some good resources for finding a good professional to talk to? I live in the US, currently waiting out the pandemic in Kentucky, but normally live in Nashville. While it would be very nice to find someone local, I'm thinking I might be able to take advantage of the fact that many doctors are doing remote sessions now, so perhaps I don't have to be limited by whoever's in my area?
I've heard a lot of horror stories about shitty terrible therapists for transfolk over the years, and I would very much like to avoid that if I can (obviously). This is all very recent and new and I'm not even sure how sure I am about this. What I really want is someone to help me work through this; I don't want to go somewhere and just 'say the right things' to get HRT and whatnot, I want someone to genuinely help me decide whether HRT is right for me.
PS if you are from [chat] and are reading this, please don't bring it up there for now, I have a lot to work through before I go proper public and stuff.
*Hugs*
You will probably be slightly freer to find a therapist, but you will probably still have to find someone licensed to practice in the state in which you would do virtual sessions. As far as finding one, do you know if there are any queer-focused health or community centers in your state? Those would potentially be a good place to start. If not, you might check out Psychology Today and search for providers in your area who state they work with trans* communities. The latter approach is how I found my first therapist and she was incredibly helpful (though in a more progressive part of the country). If you find one or two candidates I would also recommending doing a short intro session with them focused on whether they would be a good fit for you or not.
I would definitely also recommend talking in the community a bit for referrals if you can. I know a few therapists here that label themselves as trans friendly that I scare people off of. I don't know how they present in session. I know how they talk to me about their clients, and honestly I am amazed I haven't physically struck some of them. Fortunately the bad ones get a fast reputation for being complete shit.
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MsAnthropyThe Lady of Pain Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the RhythmThe City of FlowersRegistered Userregular
Should I be looking for a therapist or a psychiatrist first?
Probably a therapist? A psychiatrist is good if you want someone with mental health knowledge who can write you scripts for stuff like anxiety or depression meds. IME, they sometimes tend to operate more like MDs than therapists though and aren’t necessarily great at talking through things or utilizing tools like CBT, etc. I have generally had good experiences working with clinical social workers and licensed therapists / counselors.
Edit: You really shouldn’t have any need for a doctoral level psychologist or psychiatrist specifically for gender issues in the US unless you decided you wanted to pursue some kind of bottom surgery.
Should I be looking for a therapist or a psychiatrist first?
Probably a therapist? A psychiatrist is good if you want someone with mental health knowledge who can write you scripts for stuff like anxiety or depression meds. IME, they sometimes tend to operate more like MDs than therapists though and aren’t necessarily great at talking through things or utilizing tools like CBT, etc. I have generally had good experiences working with clinical social workers and licensed therapists / counselors.
Edit: You really shouldn’t have any need for a doctoral level psychologist or psychiatrist specifically for gender issues in the US unless you decided you wanted to pursue some kind of bottom surgery.
This was my suspicion, as it was the case with some mental health issues I had in the past, but I didn't know if it was better to be talking to someone who could write me a script for HRT.
That's perhaps putting the cart before the horse, though...
Yes hi hello I am having gender thoughts and stuff and I think I might like to be a lady now please maybe.
I would very much like to talk to a professional about this because ofc my situation is unique and special and the doubts and whatnot that I'm having are not like anybody else's etc etc
What are some good resources for finding a good professional to talk to? I live in the US, currently waiting out the pandemic in Kentucky, but normally live in Nashville. While it would be very nice to find someone local, I'm thinking I might be able to take advantage of the fact that many doctors are doing remote sessions now, so perhaps I don't have to be limited by whoever's in my area?
I've heard a lot of horror stories about shitty terrible therapists for transfolk over the years, and I would very much like to avoid that if I can (obviously). This is all very recent and new and I'm not even sure how sure I am about this. What I really want is someone to help me work through this; I don't want to go somewhere and just 'say the right things' to get HRT and whatnot, I want someone to genuinely help me decide whether HRT is right for me.
PS if you are from [chat] and are reading this, please don't bring it up there for now, I have a lot to work through before I go proper public and stuff.
*Hugs*
You will probably be slightly freer to find a therapist, but you will probably still have to find someone licensed to practice in the state in which you would do virtual sessions. As far as finding one, do you know if there are any queer-focused health or community centers in your state? Those would potentially be a good place to start. If not, you might check out Psychology Today and search for providers in your area who state they work with trans* communities. The latter approach is how I found my first therapist and she was incredibly helpful (though in a more progressive part of the country). If you find one or two candidates I would also recommending doing a short intro session with them focused on whether they would be a good fit for you or not.
I would definitely also recommend talking in the community a bit for referrals if you can. I know a few therapists here that label themselves as trans friendly that I scare people off of. I don't know how they present in session. I know how they talk to me about their clients, and honestly I am amazed I haven't physically struck some of them. Fortunately the bad ones get a fast reputation for being complete shit.
Unfortunately I don't have any queer friends or connections in my current city, since I'm just here living with my parents during the pandemic. There is a local queer community center and a monthly trans meetup (that I literally missed by a single day), but I'm still leery of going to things in person due to COVID, so I'm trying to see what I can find in the way of online resources.
And then there's a registration form for a local trans group and it asks what name you'd like to be called and I don't know what to put down. I have a new name in mind, but I feel really weird starting to use it when I'm still really unsure about all of this for various reasons, and I don't have any negative feelings associated with my current name anyway. I'm glad that in the 'how do you identify' dropdown they have 'Questioning' as an option, at least...
This is a whole lot already, and I've barely started ;_; I'm already sort of flabbergasted how anybody comes out the other end of this. The pictures and stories I've seen in this thread have suddenly become a lot more inspiring to me.
Should I be looking for a therapist or a psychiatrist first?
Probably a therapist? A psychiatrist is good if you want someone with mental health knowledge who can write you scripts for stuff like anxiety or depression meds. IME, they sometimes tend to operate more like MDs than therapists though and aren’t necessarily great at talking through things or utilizing tools like CBT, etc. I have generally had good experiences working with clinical social workers and licensed therapists / counselors.
Edit: You really shouldn’t have any need for a doctoral level psychologist or psychiatrist specifically for gender issues in the US unless you decided you wanted to pursue some kind of bottom surgery.
This was my suspicion, as it was the case with some mental health issues I had in the past, but I didn't know if it was better to be talking to someone who could write me a script for HRT.
That's perhaps putting the cart before the horse, though...
Yes hi hello I am having gender thoughts and stuff and I think I might like to be a lady now please maybe.
I would very much like to talk to a professional about this because ofc my situation is unique and special and the doubts and whatnot that I'm having are not like anybody else's etc etc
What are some good resources for finding a good professional to talk to? I live in the US, currently waiting out the pandemic in Kentucky, but normally live in Nashville. While it would be very nice to find someone local, I'm thinking I might be able to take advantage of the fact that many doctors are doing remote sessions now, so perhaps I don't have to be limited by whoever's in my area?
I've heard a lot of horror stories about shitty terrible therapists for transfolk over the years, and I would very much like to avoid that if I can (obviously). This is all very recent and new and I'm not even sure how sure I am about this. What I really want is someone to help me work through this; I don't want to go somewhere and just 'say the right things' to get HRT and whatnot, I want someone to genuinely help me decide whether HRT is right for me.
PS if you are from [chat] and are reading this, please don't bring it up there for now, I have a lot to work through before I go proper public and stuff.
*Hugs*
You will probably be slightly freer to find a therapist, but you will probably still have to find someone licensed to practice in the state in which you would do virtual sessions. As far as finding one, do you know if there are any queer-focused health or community centers in your state? Those would potentially be a good place to start. If not, you might check out Psychology Today and search for providers in your area who state they work with trans* communities. The latter approach is how I found my first therapist and she was incredibly helpful (though in a more progressive part of the country). If you find one or two candidates I would also recommending doing a short intro session with them focused on whether they would be a good fit for you or not.
I would definitely also recommend talking in the community a bit for referrals if you can. I know a few therapists here that label themselves as trans friendly that I scare people off of. I don't know how they present in session. I know how they talk to me about their clients, and honestly I am amazed I haven't physically struck some of them. Fortunately the bad ones get a fast reputation for being complete shit.
Unfortunately I don't have any queer friends or connections in my current city, since I'm just here living with my parents during the pandemic. There is a local queer community center and a monthly trans meetup (that I literally missed by a single day), but I'm still leery of going to things in person due to COVID, so I'm trying to see what I can find in the way of online resources.
And then there's a registration form for a local trans group and it asks what name you'd like to be called and I don't know what to put down. I have a new name in mind, but I feel really weird starting to use it when I'm still really unsure about all of this for various reasons, and I don't have any negative feelings associated with my current name anyway. I'm glad that in the 'how do you identify' dropdown they have 'Questioning' as an option, at least...
This is a whole lot already, and I've barely started ;_; I'm already sort of flabbergasted how anybody comes out the other end of this. The pictures and stories I've seen in this thread have suddenly become a lot more inspiring to me.
I've been working through the same process over the past couple of...years, and it is a whole lot, but you can tackle it at your own pace and that's ok. As far as names go, a thing that's helped me a whole lot is recognizing that as long as it's not on plastic you can play around with names as much as you want. My therapist and social worker (attached to the medical center that will hopefully hook me up with the HRT I need) are both addressing me with MY name and let me tell you--it feels really good. If you try it out and it doesn't work for you, that's ok! You can change it again to something better. You can take the time to find the name you need and it's ok.
Also, hi everybody. My name is EV and I love you all.
Our friend’s son told their parents they want to be referred to as they/them.
I let them know that I still intend to punt them in to the sun for being a little snot but in the meantime to please correct me if I fumble their pronouns.
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Zilla36021st Century. |She/Her|Trans* Woman In Aviators Firing A Bazooka. ⚛️Registered Userregular
Just got off a video call with my GIC where they confirmed I'm now discharged and will need to be re-referred by my GP if I want any more treatment.
So I guess that's it, then. A whole decade of appointments, over and done with. I don't know how I feel.
Should I be looking for a therapist or a psychiatrist first?
Probably a therapist? A psychiatrist is good if you want someone with mental health knowledge who can write you scripts for stuff like anxiety or depression meds. IME, they sometimes tend to operate more like MDs than therapists though and aren’t necessarily great at talking through things or utilizing tools like CBT, etc. I have generally had good experiences working with clinical social workers and licensed therapists / counselors.
Edit: You really shouldn’t have any need for a doctoral level psychologist or psychiatrist specifically for gender issues in the US unless you decided you wanted to pursue some kind of bottom surgery.
As far as I know psychiatrist are always going to be doctors. Certainly they will be in the US, and I am pretty sure that is universal. I also would not call them therapists. That's not where their training lies. They are doctors there to give you a prescription for medicine, and referrals for therapy for things they think can be treated with it. Incidentally most conditions can be treated by therapy, and all to some level. That said medicine has its place because therapy isn't perfect, and sometimes it really is just a chemical imbalance it would take a lifetime to correct through therapy. This is me being a bit weird and philosophical though. Do whatever helps you and fuck me weirdo views on it.
Also don't feel limited to psychologists. Honestly I wouldn't recommend a psychologist for help with transition. They are very distant and symptom focused. This can be great on occasions but this isn't one of them if you ask me. Counselors and social workers take a much more, if I can be overly technical for a moment, warm and fuzzy approach. There tends to be a greater focus on your functioning as a person rather than what is wrong with you. This of course varies wildly from therapist to therapist so keep that in mind when you meet with one. Remember, if it ain't working for you then they should be happy to give you referrals to people more the style you need. I have plenty of people I refer to when someone doesn't like my goofy, eccentric, nerdy, hippie vibes, and am always thrilled to help someone find a person they fit better with.
Some of this, admittedly, is taken from the view of what helped me in my journey through all of this. I can't fully separate my experiences from my expectations of therapists. That said, in my professional experience the more diagnosis and problem focused the person is then the less trans friendly they are. Some proudly proclaim themselves trans friendly, but behind closed doors they wring their hands over stupid shit. Does this person really need surgery x, do they really feel gender y, if they really want to be gender y then why do they dress like they do, etc. The measurables become the focus and that is a shit way to provide trans care in my estimation.
Re: Names
I don't think there is ever a generic right answer, so go with what feels best to you. I never intend to change my name, but it is almost unique. Since I am somewhere in the middle anyways the name fits cause it's not like anyone knows what to expect when they hear it. Honestly, it takes 3-4 tries to get the other person to same my name correctly anyways (and it is easy to pronounce) so who are they to tell me shit about my name? It's all a part of the journey, and honestly toying with how you feel eventually becomes the best parts of the journey if you ask me. I am a weirdo though.
OMG I love popping back into the thread and seeing stuff like this, hi and welcome new family babies, love you, sooooo excited for you no matter the destination you realize~~!
Triptycho: A card-and-dice tabletop indie RPG currently in development and playtesting
So real quick I've got a really good friend who was raised by some really racist folks and nowadays he's kinda skewed politically but anyway I've been trying to educate him on all the stuff around the protests and police brutality and he's generally been responsive, but has needed a lot of coaching and hand-holding and correction and education and
Well basically as someone who's not even a member of the community that I'm helping to explain to him, I am fucking exhausted.
And I know a lot of y'all in here have been really patient and helpful and lifted me personally out of some real ignorance wrt LGBTQ issues, and even those of you that haven't likely still had several friends and/or family members that you've had to help along the way
so I just want to say I'm so, so sorry and thank you all so, so much.
Does anyone know of any LGBTQ game reviewers that gave reviewed last of us 2 yet? I tried googling it but didn't find anything.
Maddy Myers for Polygon?
Ok, I actually read that all already. Since they didn't mention anything bad about the representation I guess they must have done a better job then people thought they would, which is reassuring.
Does anyone know of any LGBTQ game reviewers that gave reviewed last of us 2 yet? I tried googling it but didn't find anything.
I think Riley Mcleod who reviewed it for Kotaku US is?
Thanks I read their review as well. They specifically mention the attitude towards the characters being queer as reasonably well done which is what I was really looking for. All other aspects aside, after the leak I was worried I might have to right Naughty Dog off but they seem to have done at least a middling job.
Gamertag: KL Retribution
PSN:Furlion
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
So it's been four years since my coming out as bisexual.
I'm sure I knew long before that, but Pulse is what actually pushed me to accept me and to put a name to it. Hetero marriage or not. I am me.
I modeled for a Pride photoshoot today! Can't wait to see the final pictures, but here's a couple selfies I took after with the make-up still on. You can't really see from this angle, but the upper corner has the bi flag colors, partially hidden under the hair. Also the trans colors curve up and around to enclose the eye on that side.
jaziekBad at everythingAnd mad about it.Registered Userregular
The latest news from the UK outlining the government intention to make it illegal for trans people to use the correct public facilities is just... awful.
I feel physically sick. I'm panicking and getting suicidal thoughts, and I don't even live there at the moment. I don't know what to do. It feels like I'll never be able to go home again.
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
edited June 2020
Gotta love the bit about the GRA consultation "70% of people who responded were positive about reform but we decided too many of them are pro-trans so we're going to ignore the result." Fucking Tories.
Given how much land the British Empire once held and given how the Tories were usually the worse of many evils in governing I suspect that "Fuck the Tories" may be, or may have been, one of the more universal sentiments on Earth.
It's that fucking UK TERF brain virus affecting policy
I can't imagine how you can look at all the injustice in your country and in the world and decide your vast wealth and global influence is best spent crusading against trans people
So, like a month ago a gamedev friend of mine talked me into mucking around with a couple of dating apps, mostly as a bit of a weird personal experiment because I've literally never used one before. It's been..... interesting, and there's clearly been a lotta folks who didn't really know how to respond to the whole NB thing and who went quiet after a handful of exchanges.
buuuuut one person did not, and now I have a date next Saturday gonna have to break out the eyeliner and nail polish and whatnot!
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ElldrenIs a woman dammitceterum censeoRegistered Userregular
The latest news from the UK outlining the government intention to make it illegal for trans people to use the correct public facilities is just... awful.
I feel physically sick. I'm panicking and getting suicidal thoughts, and I don't even live there at the moment. I don't know what to do. It feels like I'll never be able to go home again.
I am there with you. Only my reaction has turned to pure rage.
Posts
That is sooo very on point! You look stunnninnngggggggg
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Oh, and my wife have me a home barber undercut style doo today.
What is this witchcraft?
I guess moving to SF was very much the right move.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
I would very much like to talk to a professional about this because ofc my situation is unique and special and the doubts and whatnot that I'm having are not like anybody else's etc etc
What are some good resources for finding a good professional to talk to? I live in the US, currently waiting out the pandemic in Kentucky, but normally live in Nashville. While it would be very nice to find someone local, I'm thinking I might be able to take advantage of the fact that many doctors are doing remote sessions now, so perhaps I don't have to be limited by whoever's in my area?
I've heard a lot of horror stories about shitty terrible therapists for transfolk over the years, and I would very much like to avoid that if I can (obviously). This is all very recent and new and I'm not even sure how sure I am about this. What I really want is someone to help me work through this; I don't want to go somewhere and just 'say the right things' to get HRT and whatnot, I want someone to genuinely help me decide whether HRT is right for me.
PS if you are from [chat] and are reading this, please don't bring it up there for now, I have a lot to work through before I go proper public and stuff.
*Hugs*
You will probably be slightly freer to find a therapist, but you will probably still have to find someone licensed to practice in the state in which you would do virtual sessions. As far as finding one, do you know if there are any queer-focused health or community centers in your state? Those would potentially be a good place to start. If not, you might check out Psychology Today and search for providers in your area who state they work with trans* communities. The latter approach is how I found my first therapist and she was incredibly helpful (though in a more progressive part of the country). If you find one or two candidates I would also recommending doing a short intro session with them focused on whether they would be a good fit for you or not.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
Ah, I didn't know about the bolded.
I haven't done any research at all yet because I figured just googling "trans therapists" might lead me down some false paths. I'll look into queer health/community centers and poke around on Psychology Today. Thank you!
I would definitely also recommend talking in the community a bit for referrals if you can. I know a few therapists here that label themselves as trans friendly that I scare people off of. I don't know how they present in session. I know how they talk to me about their clients, and honestly I am amazed I haven't physically struck some of them. Fortunately the bad ones get a fast reputation for being complete shit.
Probably a therapist? A psychiatrist is good if you want someone with mental health knowledge who can write you scripts for stuff like anxiety or depression meds. IME, they sometimes tend to operate more like MDs than therapists though and aren’t necessarily great at talking through things or utilizing tools like CBT, etc. I have generally had good experiences working with clinical social workers and licensed therapists / counselors.
Edit: You really shouldn’t have any need for a doctoral level psychologist or psychiatrist specifically for gender issues in the US unless you decided you wanted to pursue some kind of bottom surgery.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
This was my suspicion, as it was the case with some mental health issues I had in the past, but I didn't know if it was better to be talking to someone who could write me a script for HRT.
That's perhaps putting the cart before the horse, though...
Unfortunately I don't have any queer friends or connections in my current city, since I'm just here living with my parents during the pandemic. There is a local queer community center and a monthly trans meetup (that I literally missed by a single day), but I'm still leery of going to things in person due to COVID, so I'm trying to see what I can find in the way of online resources.
And then there's a registration form for a local trans group and it asks what name you'd like to be called and I don't know what to put down. I have a new name in mind, but I feel really weird starting to use it when I'm still really unsure about all of this for various reasons, and I don't have any negative feelings associated with my current name anyway. I'm glad that in the 'how do you identify' dropdown they have 'Questioning' as an option, at least...
This is a whole lot already, and I've barely started ;_; I'm already sort of flabbergasted how anybody comes out the other end of this. The pictures and stories I've seen in this thread have suddenly become a lot more inspiring to me.
I've been working through the same process over the past couple of...years, and it is a whole lot, but you can tackle it at your own pace and that's ok. As far as names go, a thing that's helped me a whole lot is recognizing that as long as it's not on plastic you can play around with names as much as you want. My therapist and social worker (attached to the medical center that will hopefully hook me up with the HRT I need) are both addressing me with MY name and let me tell you--it feels really good. If you try it out and it doesn't work for you, that's ok! You can change it again to something better. You can take the time to find the name you need and it's ok.
Also, hi everybody. My name is EV and I love you all.
i blame hormones in the bbcode
I let them know that I still intend to punt them in to the sun for being a little snot but in the meantime to please correct me if I fumble their pronouns.
So I guess that's it, then. A whole decade of appointments, over and done with. I don't know how I feel. At this rate over half of the posters in SE++ will be Trans* by 2025. Welcome, come on in, the waters warm...
Honestly who else still uses old web forums besides us and spies looking to make contact
As far as I know psychiatrist are always going to be doctors. Certainly they will be in the US, and I am pretty sure that is universal. I also would not call them therapists. That's not where their training lies. They are doctors there to give you a prescription for medicine, and referrals for therapy for things they think can be treated with it. Incidentally most conditions can be treated by therapy, and all to some level. That said medicine has its place because therapy isn't perfect, and sometimes it really is just a chemical imbalance it would take a lifetime to correct through therapy. This is me being a bit weird and philosophical though. Do whatever helps you and fuck me weirdo views on it.
Also don't feel limited to psychologists. Honestly I wouldn't recommend a psychologist for help with transition. They are very distant and symptom focused. This can be great on occasions but this isn't one of them if you ask me. Counselors and social workers take a much more, if I can be overly technical for a moment, warm and fuzzy approach. There tends to be a greater focus on your functioning as a person rather than what is wrong with you. This of course varies wildly from therapist to therapist so keep that in mind when you meet with one. Remember, if it ain't working for you then they should be happy to give you referrals to people more the style you need. I have plenty of people I refer to when someone doesn't like my goofy, eccentric, nerdy, hippie vibes, and am always thrilled to help someone find a person they fit better with.
Some of this, admittedly, is taken from the view of what helped me in my journey through all of this. I can't fully separate my experiences from my expectations of therapists. That said, in my professional experience the more diagnosis and problem focused the person is then the less trans friendly they are. Some proudly proclaim themselves trans friendly, but behind closed doors they wring their hands over stupid shit. Does this person really need surgery x, do they really feel gender y, if they really want to be gender y then why do they dress like they do, etc. The measurables become the focus and that is a shit way to provide trans care in my estimation.
Re: Names
I don't think there is ever a generic right answer, so go with what feels best to you. I never intend to change my name, but it is almost unique. Since I am somewhere in the middle anyways the name fits cause it's not like anyone knows what to expect when they hear it. Honestly, it takes 3-4 tries to get the other person to same my name correctly anyways (and it is easy to pronounce) so who are they to tell me shit about my name? It's all a part of the journey, and honestly toying with how you feel eventually becomes the best parts of the journey if you ask me. I am a weirdo though.
Well basically as someone who's not even a member of the community that I'm helping to explain to him, I am fucking exhausted.
And I know a lot of y'all in here have been really patient and helpful and lifted me personally out of some real ignorance wrt LGBTQ issues, and even those of you that haven't likely still had several friends and/or family members that you've had to help along the way
so I just want to say I'm so, so sorry and thank you all so, so much.
Some of ya'll I owe a sandwich.
PSN:Furlion
Maddy Myers for Polygon?
Ok, I actually read that all already. Since they didn't mention anything bad about the representation I guess they must have done a better job then people thought they would, which is reassuring.
PSN:Furlion
Hey, while we’re brutalizing one group of people, let’s quietly revoke another‘ rights. In fucking June. Jesus I don’t even know what to say.
I think Riley Mcleod who reviewed it for Kotaku US is?
Thanks I read their review as well. They specifically mention the attitude towards the characters being queer as reasonably well done which is what I was really looking for. All other aspects aside, after the leak I was worried I might have to right Naughty Dog off but they seem to have done at least a middling job.
PSN:Furlion
I'm sure I knew long before that, but Pulse is what actually pushed me to accept me and to put a name to it. Hetero marriage or not. I am me.
So.
Love you all.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Paste and Wired also had LGBTQ+ reviewers (Natalie and Julie respectively)
Thanks, those were both excellent reads.
PSN:Furlion
Make-up and actual photoshoot by Darkshi Creations
This was SO much fun. To go along with the usuals, we did rainbow fists (including black) in smoke for BLM solidarity.
I'm already looking forward to next year's shoot!
I seriously want to awesome that again the look is so good
I feel physically sick. I'm panicking and getting suicidal thoughts, and I don't even live there at the moment. I don't know what to do. It feels like I'll never be able to go home again.
I can't imagine how you can look at all the injustice in your country and in the world and decide your vast wealth and global influence is best spent crusading against trans people
buuuuut one person did not, and now I have a date next Saturday
I am there with you. Only my reaction has turned to pure rage.