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You wanna pizza my [movies] thread?

EtchwartsEtchwarts Eyes UpRegistered User regular
edited October 2019 in Social Entropy++
I've had Indiana Jones on the brain recently, and so this OP is going to be my Indiana Jones hot take:

Temple of Doom is worse than Kingdom of the Crystal Skull by a wide margin, even if I appreciate it taking some weird big swings

Conversely, Short Round should have returned as Indiana Jones' son, sorry Lebouf

Etchwarts on
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  • ChincymcchillaChincymcchilla Registered User regular
    Temple of Doom is quite bad, but short round is great

    Crystal Skull is Actually Pretty Good And People Are Jerks About It

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  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    I liked crystal skull more or less but the ending was a bit too much. Also the famous refrigerator gag did kinda pop my suspension of disbelief for a minute.

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  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    edited September 2019
    Crystal Skull is pretty terrible, sorry.

    In basically every way shape and form. The only part I enjoyed was Harrison Ford giving Lebouf the same look that Sean Connery gave when Indy destroyed the motorcycle nazi's in Last Crusade

    Xaquin on
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Ho! Ho! Ho! Drink Coke!Registered User regular
    I would absolutely watch Crystal Skull over Temple of Doom any time and that is at least 50% due to Karen Allen's presence

  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    edited September 2019
    gonna be seeing indy 3 on the big screen with @shorty next friday

    got hype

    Rorshach Kringle on
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  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    Last Crusade is still my favorite

    God I love that movie

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  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    also my indy jones hot take is i don't think raiders of the lost ark's ending works/is earned at all

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  • FishmanFishman Put your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain. Registered User regular
    Dammit, I just spent 10 minutes drafting a new OP that... well, mostly sucked, but it was a poll! It had options! And quotes and pictures!

    Then I checked before making the thread and this was here instead.

    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    you snooze, you lose, old fishman

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  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    I like it when I feel really bad so I like short round a lot

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  • EtchwartsEtchwarts Eyes Up Registered User regular
    I have a real life head canon that if Temple of Doom had been any good, we would have seen the Indiana Jones role expand beyond Harrison Ford like James Bond expanded beyond Sean Connery

    Temple of Doom barely adheres at all to the formula and tone of Raiders, which unfortunately included that it wasn't good, unlike Raiders

    But if it had been good, I'd like to think we would have gotten a version of Last Crusade that wasn't afraid to rock the boat (note: I love Last Crusade, but it is a very safe movie), and I think that would have meant a less slavish approach to the Raiders status quo in general when it came to that franchise

  • EtchwartsEtchwarts Eyes Up Registered User regular
    also my indy jones hot take is i don't think raiders of the lost ark's ending works/is earned at all

    Which part of the ending, exactly?

    Is it Indy and Marion? Because yeah, and that's something that I think the sequels were at least honest about

  • ChincymcchillaChincymcchilla Registered User regular
    also my indy jones hot take is i don't think raiders of the lost ark's ending works/is earned at all

    Yeah, like I know the joke about that movie is that Indy kinda caused the problem in the first place and that if he hadn't gone there they'd never have found the arc and there'd have been no issue

    But honestly I feel like it's kinda true? Indy really is sort of the instigating factor for the whole problem in that movie because he can't help himself, and that would be fine if it was investigated but instead he's rewarded for it because of... faith, I guess

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  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Booger CoveRegistered User regular
    I'll probably never see crystal skull. Mostly because there are too many good movies that I still haven't seen yet. @Rorshach Kringle , what's a good movie I haven't seen?

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  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    Blankzilla wrote: »
    Last Crusade is still my favorite

    God I love that movie

    one time a friend and I were metal detecting up in the Appalachian mountains when we came upon a super old and dilapidated ranger station. He walked in carefully and his foot instantly fell through the floor. Before I asked if he was ok or even thought of helping, I said "In the latin alphabet Jehova starts with an I"

    he was fine and a mighty laugh was had by all

  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Ho! Ho! Ho! Drink Coke!Registered User regular
    I don't know that Indy is rewarded at the end of Raiders so much as he just basically avoids dying

  • EtchwartsEtchwarts Eyes Up Registered User regular
    also my indy jones hot take is i don't think raiders of the lost ark's ending works/is earned at all

    Yeah, like I know the joke about that movie is that Indy kinda caused the problem in the first place and that if he hadn't gone there they'd never have found the arc and there'd have been no issue

    But honestly I feel like it's kinda true? Indy really is sort of the instigating factor for the whole problem in that movie because he can't help himself, and that would be fine if it was investigated but instead he's rewarded for it because of... faith, I guess

    See, I disagree with this take (not the part about Indy being unable to help himself, that's just true in the text)

    The Nazis hadn't found the Ark yet, but they would have

    Indy accelerated that timetable, but then the rest of the movie is him forcing them into worse and worse positions, first by sabotaging the plane, then by stealing the truck

    It's true that no matter what happened the Nazis would have opened the Ark and died, but I think in the version of that movie without Indiana Jones, the Nazis just track their sub or whatever to that island and grab it again

  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    also my indy jones hot take is i don't think raiders of the lost ark's ending works/is earned at all

    Which part of the ending, exactly?

    Is it Indy and Marion? Because yeah, and that's something that I think the sequels were at least honest about

    i mean i get it's literally a holy relic, but the deus ex machina ending with indy just being lucky? that he wasn't smote by god does not at all work and kinda makes the movie a lesser experience for me.


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  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    spono wrote: »
    I'll probably never see crystal skull. Mostly because there are too many good movies that I still haven't seen yet. "Rorshach Kringle" , what's a good movie I haven't seen?

    yo you seen never goin' back yet?

    it's on amazon prime

    it's dope as hell

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  • EtchwartsEtchwarts Eyes Up Registered User regular
    Also without Indy the Nazis end up killing Marion and taking the medallion for themselves, instead of having to read it off of that guy's hand

  • EtchwartsEtchwarts Eyes Up Registered User regular
    also my indy jones hot take is i don't think raiders of the lost ark's ending works/is earned at all

    Which part of the ending, exactly?

    Is it Indy and Marion? Because yeah, and that's something that I think the sequels were at least honest about

    i mean i get it's literally a holy relic, but the deus ex machina ending with indy just being lucky? that he wasn't smote by god does not at all work and kinda makes the movie a lesser experience for me.


    I don't know if it's luck so much as "this faithless man has decided to take a leap of faith and believe"

    I don't think the movie necessarily does a great job of selling that change in character, though

  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    It is hilarious how Last Crusade does what a ton of people hate about prequel stories (the hero getting, like, all of their memorable features and traits because of explictly shown reasons) but does it in such an entertaining, goofy way that it I don't mind that Indy got basically all of his cool shit and quirks in one afternoon

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  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Last Crusade will always be my favorite. It's such a damn good adventure movie.

    I don't hate Temple of Doom. There's some good stuff in it but it's definitely the worst of the series.

  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Ho! Ho! Ho! Drink Coke!Registered User regular
    you know, if Indy hadn't gotten involved, there's a whole lot of Nazis who wouldn't have died, so that's a plus

  • ChincymcchillaChincymcchilla Registered User regular
    Blankzilla wrote: »
    It is hilarious how Last Crusade does what a ton of people hate about prequel stories (the hero getting, like, all of their memorable features and traits because of explictly shown reasons) but does it in such an entertaining, goofy way that it I don't mind that Indy got basically all of his cool shit and quirks in one afternoon

    See I think it works because rather than it being like

    His mentor who trained him and handed them down to him upon the completion of his training as part of his destiny

    Or some sort of heavy handed shit like that

    He saw a guy he thought was cool and just stole his style

    I like that WAY more

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  • EtchwartsEtchwarts Eyes Up Registered User regular
    Sorry, I don't mean to be all "The Raiders Liker Has Logged On"

    I just don't get a lot of opportunities to discuss thirty year old movies, it turns out, and so it's nice to do that

  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    Blankzilla wrote: »
    It is hilarious how Last Crusade does what a ton of people hate about prequel stories (the hero getting, like, all of their memorable features and traits because of explictly shown reasons) but does it in such an entertaining, goofy way that it I don't mind that Indy got basically all of his cool shit and quirks in one afternoon

    See I think it works because rather than it being like

    His mentor who trained him and handed them down to him upon the completion of his training as part of his destiny

    Or some sort of heavy handed shit like that

    He saw a guy he thought was cool and just stole his style

    I like that WAY more
    Eh thats only for the hat and jacket though

    He still gets the fear of snakes, using a whip, "it belongs in a museum", etc. Along the way

    The fact that he totally ripped his look and smarmy attitude rules though

    Indy is a giant dork

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  • MaddocMaddoc I'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother? Registered User regular
    Yeah the reason it works is because it's largely making fun of him

    Like it's not going "Oh and here's where he got his hat, and here's where he got his whip" like it actually matters

    It's going "You took the dog's name you idiot"

  • EtchwartsEtchwarts Eyes Up Registered User regular
    "It Belongs In A Museum" is a line that aged weirdly once I learned about, y'know, colonialism

  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    God, "we named the dog Indiana" is maybe the best ending gag in movies?

    Just perfect

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  • EtchwartsEtchwarts Eyes Up Registered User regular
    Also the transition from young Indy getting the hat, lifting his head up, to old Indy smiling while the Raiders march plays triumphantly and then immediately getting punched in the face is like

    Top 10 scene transition for me

  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    "It Belongs In A Museum" is a line that aged weirdly once I learned about, y'know, colonialism

    A whoooooole lot of Indiana Jones has Problems in that regard

    Which is a bummer but they're decades old and as long as folks acknowledge those issues there's nothing wrong with enjoying them

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  • ChincymcchillaChincymcchilla Registered User regular
    "It Belongs In A Museum" is a line that aged weirdly once I learned about, y'know, colonialism

    It does but also at the time this is set and with Indy's upbringing he wouldn't have thought twice about it

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  • EtchwartsEtchwarts Eyes Up Registered User regular
    Blankzilla wrote: »
    "It Belongs In A Museum" is a line that aged weirdly once I learned about, y'know, colonialism

    A whoooooole lot of Indiana Jones has Problems in that regard

    Which is a bummer but they're decades old and as long as folks acknowledge those issues there's nothing wrong with enjoying them

    Oh yeah, I've definitely reconciled my discomfort with them, I think Raiders is still my all-time favorite movie

    But woof, I remember a time when "it belongs in a museum" was the most noble sentiment I'd ever heard


    I wonder if it's possible to make one of these kinds of movies without it being inherently exploitative of someone

  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    It belongs in A museum, just not the nazis' nor the americans'.

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  • smofsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    I think I like Last Crusade best but I haven't seen any of them in a while. Never seen Crystal Skull. I do remember Doom is the worst though.

  • SnicketysnickSnicketysnick The Greatest Hype Man in WesterosRegistered User regular
    Also the transition from young Indy getting the hat, lifting his head up, to old Indy smiling while the Raiders march plays triumphantly and then immediately getting punched in the face is like

    Top 10 scene transition for me

    The fact that it is in the same film as the "If we're lucky he's already got the grail by now" transition is an incredible underlining for how well crafted Last Crusade is

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  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    yeah like...maybe the golden idol belongs in a museum, maybe it's one in Peru and not the one your idiot friend Marcus curates

  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited September 2019
    also, the "belongs in a museum" line is first preceded by him arguing that it belongs to Coronado and it's only when the bad guy counters that Coronado and his descendants are all dead that he makes the museum argument

    he's arguing for returning it to its proper context!

    also it IS an artifact of a European colonizer, so we don't really ever get Indy's position on indigenous artifacts, but, professional standards of the times.... well. you know.

    edit: and, I mean, his own actions with the idol in the first movie, sure. but Raiders presents him as a little more mercenary than he later becomes

    Grey Ghost on
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    also I'm hype as hell to see Last Crusade in the theater, it's gonna be dope

This discussion has been closed.