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[Star Wars] so you didn't send the fish Jedi immediately because...?

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    BizazedoBizazedo Registered User regular
    ChaosHat wrote: »
    Why would the clone look like shit and be unable to walk though? Shouldn't it be a nice shiny body off the factory floor?

    Sith don't know how clones work, obviously.

    I am wondering if this was the authors decision or handed down from on high.

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    FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    Bizazedo wrote: »
    ChaosHat wrote: »
    Why would the clone look like shit and be unable to walk though? Shouldn't it be a nice shiny body off the factory floor?

    Sith don't know how clones work, obviously.

    I am wondering if this was the authors decision or handed down from on high.

    ...they had an army of them 60-70 years ago!

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    GoumindongGoumindong Registered User regular
    Bizazedo wrote: »
    ChaosHat wrote: »
    Why would the clone look like shit and be unable to walk though? Shouldn't it be a nice shiny body off the factory floor?

    Sith don't know how clones work, obviously.

    I am wondering if this was the authors decision or handed down from on high.

    It was probably in the script that got cut. TFA book had similar things from the script that got cut as well (the third lesson as an example)

    wbBv3fj.png
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    Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    I do love the irony that Palpatine using clone bodies was actually in the EU, and they got rid of the EU only to have a dumbass like Abrams swipe the idea and do it even worse.

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    manwiththemachinegunmanwiththemachinegun METAL GEAR?! Registered User regular

    I should have clarified. The problem is not in the cloning. The problem is that this is revealed in a novel, not the movie. This would not have fixed the movie in my opinion but it would have addressed one criticism.

    Of course, this still leaves the issue of “ so what’s to stop him from coming back again?”

    To quote THE most badass line in KOTOR2, "Rise a hundred times, and I will strike you down a hundred times."

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    CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    Obviously Palpatine had some other clone bodies lying around the galaxy to shove his spirit into

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    BlarghyBlarghy Registered User regular
    ChaosHat wrote: »
    Why would the clone look like shit and be unable to walk though? Shouldn't it be a nice shiny body off the factory floor?

    It says right in that novelization passage that the clone body couldn't contain Palpatine's tremendous power.

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    Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    Blarghy wrote: »
    ChaosHat wrote: »
    Why would the clone look like shit and be unable to walk though? Shouldn't it be a nice shiny body off the factory floor?

    It says right in that novelization passage that the clone body couldn't contain Palpatine's POWAAHH ... UNLIMITED POWAAHHHHH!

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    manwiththemachinegunmanwiththemachinegun METAL GEAR?! Registered User regular
    There are kinds of immortality that make you go, YEAH LIVING FOREVER IS AWESOME.
    The Sith kind of immortality is not that kind.

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    ShadowenShadowen Snores in the morning LoserdomRegistered User regular
    NEO|Phyte wrote: »
    Didn't the EU clone palps have a similar degradation issue?

    Yes, but that's old EU, which made the assumption that Palpatine looking like dogshit that's been left out long enough to turn white was because of dark side corruption. The prequels explained that Palpatine looking like a frog-shaped candle wasn't because of dark side corruption, it was because he melted himself with his own lightning which was reflected back on him with a lightsaber.

    So why does the clone look like a wet corpse? It turns out, in the passage explaining things, the clone itself was kind of shoddy. (Presumably this is also why Snoke looked like he was about three-quarters of the man he used to be, before he became half the man he used to be.) Either that, or, in defiance of the prequels, it is indeed his immense corruption that is turning the body into a pile of casu marzu dragged around by GlaDOS. The excerpt from the novel is somewhat ambiguous on that, as it also says that he's not just a clone--the body is a genetic clone, but it houses Palpatine's spirit, which is somehow too powerful for his body, even though it wasn't when he was, y'know, alive?

    This at least explains how he knows what he knows (as the Disney U doesn't have "flash-learning", which the Legends EU used for clones grown to adulthood before decanting) and means "the dark side is a blah blah unnatural blah" is actually a response that makes some sense (as opposed to the more pithy "I destroyed the Jedi with an army of clones, you nitwit"). But none of this makes the movie good, because none of it's in the movie. And none of it explains why he can't just come back again.

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    manwiththemachinegunmanwiththemachinegun METAL GEAR?! Registered User regular
    edited March 2020
    Why was Kamino the only planet in the galaxy capable of producing clones? So much so that if the Seperatists took it, the war would have been lost? I know ROS has its haters, but this isn't a unique problem to that film.
    If you want an actual explanation:
    A: Cloning is hard.
    B: Cloning is real hard.

    manwiththemachinegun on
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    MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    Why was Kamino the only planet in the galaxy capable of producing clones? So much so that if the Seperatists took it, the war would have been lost? I know ROS has its haters, but this isn't a unique problem to that film.
    If you want an actual explanation:
    A: Cloning is hard.
    B: Cloning is real hard.

    Back in the old EU it is was because of the force. All living things are attached. So the force fucks with clones because they are part of the force. This is partially why Thrawn had all the force suppressing lizards on his clone planet.

    But that is no longer part of it, till it is again.

    u7stthr17eud.png
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    Doctor DetroitDoctor Detroit Registered User regular
    Yeah, but even with the accelerated development for the clones, Kamino shouldn’t be that important once the war starts. There shouldn’t be that many clones not ready.

    Also, Jango’s death shouldn’t matter because they shouldn’t need the template anymore. By the time the war starts, new clones would be ~10 years away.

    I suppose this can be argued away as no one in universe knowing how long the war will last.

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    shrykeshryke Member of the Beast Registered User regular
    edited March 2020
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    Why was Kamino the only planet in the galaxy capable of producing clones? So much so that if the Seperatists took it, the war would have been lost? I know ROS has its haters, but this isn't a unique problem to that film.
    If you want an actual explanation:
    A: Cloning is hard.
    B: Cloning is real hard.

    Back in the old EU it is was because of the force. All living things are attached. So the force fucks with clones because they are part of the force. This is partially why Thrawn had all the force suppressing lizards on his clone planet.

    But that is no longer part of it, till it is again.

    In the old EU (ie - pre-prequels), the clone wars was a war against crazy clones and the whole idea was that clones went mad because while they were developing in their tubes the existence of another identical person existing within the force caused some sort of weird pressure on their psyche. Thus clones grown in a no-force bubble don't go crazy and are actually usable.

    Also, you double a vowel in a clone's name so you know they are a clone.

    Nowadays we have the prequels and thus everything is dumber.

    shryke on
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    CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    Palpatine could just keep on producing bodies to deal with the rapid decay unless it is like absurdly rapid.

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    ZekZek Registered User regular
    edited March 2020
    shryke wrote: »
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    Why was Kamino the only planet in the galaxy capable of producing clones? So much so that if the Seperatists took it, the war would have been lost? I know ROS has its haters, but this isn't a unique problem to that film.
    If you want an actual explanation:
    A: Cloning is hard.
    B: Cloning is real hard.

    Back in the old EU it is was because of the force. All living things are attached. So the force fucks with clones because they are part of the force. This is partially why Thrawn had all the force suppressing lizards on his clone planet.

    But that is no longer part of it, till it is again.

    In the old EU (ie - pre-prequels), the clone wars was a war against crazy clones and the whole idea was that clones went mad because while they were developing in their tubes the existence of another identical person existing within the force caused some sort of weird pressure on their psyche. Thus clones grown in a no-force bubble don't go crazy and are actually usable.

    Also, you double a vowel in a clone's name so you know they are a clone.

    Nowadays we have the prequels and thus everything is dumber.

    That sounds like one point where the prequels made an improvement. The clone wars were just a war where clones were the soldiers. I mean... Yeah.

    Zek on
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    Trajan45Trajan45 Registered User regular
    Wasn’t the original idea for the clone wars related to mandorians? Seem to remember a magazine cover from the 90’s that had boba fett copied and pasted, with the story talking about the clone war for the PT movies. That Boba Fett’s armor was a relic of the clone wars. And it was the aftermath of this massive war that allowed Palpatine to gain power and take over.

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    Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    The failing of the Clone War is that it should have been well underway before the PT starts and the clone army should clearly have been the enemy, not the core of the Republic army. The Republic should've been struggling to amass it's own army in the face of thousands of years of relative peace, while also pressuring the Jedi to expand their recruitment base in support of the Republic. Then when they come across the disturbingly-talented Anakin, who is well into his teens and struggling with dealing with existence on Tatooine; with the pressures of the war on the Order, they decide to recruit him despite misgivings over his age and attitude.

    And voila, no more Jedi running a slave army they would never touch, no more creepy romantic link between a little kid and Padme, and no more Anakin randomly going super-evil because things are slightly not going his way. The Jedi would also be struggling with the ethics of killing enslaved, but sentient, beings.

    The droid army simply should not have existed at all. The whole impact of the war on the Republic should've been a long-lasting era of peace suddenly forced against a growing, relentless enemy, reaching a point where citizens-turned-soldiers would gratefully accept any alternative to the war, up to and including the Empire.

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    BloodySlothBloodySloth Registered User regular
    A lot of these alternatives seem more just a matter of taste than a difference in objective quality. The story beats we got in the prequels could have been well executed. They just weren't. These speculative rewrites would be vulnerable to the same failures.

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    ChaosHatChaosHat Hop, hop, hop, HA! Trick of the lightRegistered User regular
    The failing of the Clone War is that it should have been well underway before the PT starts and the clone army should clearly have been the enemy, not the core of the Republic army. The Republic should've been struggling to amass it's own army in the face of thousands of years of relative peace, while also pressuring the Jedi to expand their recruitment base in support of the Republic. Then when they come across the disturbingly-talented Anakin, who is well into his teens and struggling with dealing with existence on Tatooine; with the pressures of the war on the Order, they decide to recruit him despite misgivings over his age and attitude.

    And voila, no more Jedi running a slave army they would never touch, no more creepy romantic link between a little kid and Padme, and no more Anakin randomly going super-evil because things are slightly not going his way. The Jedi would also be struggling with the ethics of killing enslaved, but sentient, beings.

    The droid army simply should not have existed at all. The whole impact of the war on the Republic should've been a long-lasting era of peace suddenly forced against a growing, relentless enemy, reaching a point where citizens-turned-soldiers would gratefully accept any alternative to the war, up to and including the Empire.

    I think you could have had droids, maybe in the first movie. You could start with the Republic having enjoyed a few centuries of relative peace with droid armies being deployed to defeat "barbarian hordes" or pirates who got a bit too big for their britches and with Jedi to supplement as special forces, negotiators, or generals. Then a real serious organized uprising backed by clone armies occurs and the droids aren't able to adapt to a well coordinated army of clones who have more ability to think on their feet and adapt independently without oversight. The Republic is forced to draft and conscript for the first time in a thousand years to counter this advantage, and just replace the droids who are being destroyed wholesale. This proves unpopular, Palpatine gets his emergency powers as things begin to look dire, and then uses the Sidious persona to lure the Separatist leadership into a trap where the Republic takes total victory and the CIS collapses while he fabricates the "Jedi are traitors!" and gets them all killed during that final decisive battle.

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    Doctor DetroitDoctor Detroit Registered User regular
    But if the enemies are droids, the Jedi can slice them up without it being scary for kids.

    :rotate:

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    ChaosHatChaosHat Hop, hop, hop, HA! Trick of the lightRegistered User regular
    Yes all of the impromptu hand amputations, stabbings, humanoid halving, and multiple amputee being left on the side of a volcano to die are very kid friendly.

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    Trajan45Trajan45 Registered User regular
    A lot of these alternatives seem more just a matter of taste than a difference in objective quality. The story beats we got in the prequels could have been well executed. They just weren't. These speculative rewrites would be vulnerable to the same failures.

    Too be fair, story quality can be applied to anything. The ST could have been great with consistent high quality story telling.

    From what I've read, it probably would have been easier to go with the older clone wars story since that was the story Lucas was telling everyone for the OT and after, up till he changed it for the PT. Apparently Zahn got a lot of clone stuff from Lucas, he just added the "goes crazy" part. Zahn was told it was 35 years before ANH, but Lucas then changed it to 22 years. Which makes sense given the story he was trying to tell where Anakin fell during the war and Luke's age in ANH. But for that, it had to hand wave a ton of stuff, like "hey we have star destroyers now and not clone ships", and "we have a massive army of non-clone storm troopers". On the flip side though, while the older 35 year Clone War makes for a more consistent overall world, it's harder to do a feature length trilogy with major space battles and include characters you know. PT1 could have been action packed but by PT3, it would have been more like a political drama, with the Jedi struggling to stop the tide of the empire.

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    ChaosHatChaosHat Hop, hop, hop, HA! Trick of the lightRegistered User regular
    A lot of these alternatives seem more just a matter of taste than a difference in objective quality. The story beats we got in the prequels could have been well executed. They just weren't. These speculative rewrites would be vulnerable to the same failures.

    Eh, I still think a battle between an army of droids and an army of clones has inherently low stakes. Like why would the audience give a shit between these two mass produced automatons. Sure, make more killing machines to die. What does it matter?

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    FANTOMASFANTOMAS Flan ArgentavisRegistered User regular
    ChaosHat wrote: »
    A lot of these alternatives seem more just a matter of taste than a difference in objective quality. The story beats we got in the prequels could have been well executed. They just weren't. These speculative rewrites would be vulnerable to the same failures.

    Eh, I still think a battle between an army of droids and an army of clones has inherently low stakes. Like why would the audience give a shit between these two mass produced automatons. Sure, make more killing machines to die. What does it matter?

    If you put emphasis on the repercusions of the outcome, instead of the characters, you can have a faceless, nameless mass of clones and robots fight, sort of an action-y background to relax from a politics heavy movie, like the prequels did, only that they used gungans, horrible cgi and killed any sort of gravity by making the Gungans be the looney tunes race.

    Yes, with a quick verbal "boom." You take a man's peko, you deny him his dab, all that is left is to rise up and tear down the walls of Jericho with a ".....not!" -TexiKen
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    ChaosHatChaosHat Hop, hop, hop, HA! Trick of the lightRegistered User regular
    Yes but that puts war in an even more ghoulish dollars and cents way. "Well we won the war because having to replace the clones bankrupted them." It just lowers the stakes for the in fiction people and us out of there.

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    shrykeshryke Member of the Beast Registered User regular
    edited March 2020
    ChaosHat wrote: »
    Yes all of the impromptu hand amputations, stabbings, humanoid halving, and multiple amputee being left on the side of a volcano to die are very kid friendly.

    There's really only a few of those though. And I think only 2 in TPM where the tone and setting gets made. Having the enemy be all robots lets the Obi-wan and Qui-gon run around killing enemies by the dozen without it ever being the least bit dramatic or intense or challenging or anything but 8-year-old-friendly at all times.

    shryke on
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    ChaosHatChaosHat Hop, hop, hop, HA! Trick of the lightRegistered User regular
    Off the top of my head, Qui-Gon get's stabbed in the gut region. Maul gets halved like Dewey Cox's brother playing with machetes. Anakin is behanded. Dooku is double behanded and beheaded. Mace is behanded. Anakin is belegged and bearmed. This is a lot of parts being forcefully separated from their wholes pretty graphically. I guess thank god for the instant cauterization.

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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    ChaosHat wrote: »
    Off the top of my head, Qui-Gon get's stabbed in the gut region. Maul gets halved like Dewey Cox's brother playing with machetes. Anakin is behanded. Dooku is double behanded and beheaded. Mace is behanded. Anakin is belegged and bearmed. This is a lot of parts being forcefully separated from their wholes pretty graphically. I guess thank god for the instant cauterization.

    When you've got one side consisting of space wizards with magical swords that cut through anything and countless legions of nameless clones fighting even more nameless and countless hordes of mass produced murder bots, the fact that every battle field left in the story's wake isn't covered in piles of limbs is showing fair restraint.

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    LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    Personally, I loved the plot twist that the clone army was a republic army.

    Was the execution pulled off very well? Not really. But as a concept I love it.

    From 1977 all the way till when the Attack of the Clones was released, everybody was working on the assumption that Anakin and Obi Wan fought against the clones in the Clone Wars. Obviously we didn't have much to work with. Just one line by Alec Guiness. But. False assumptions were made nonetheless. And those assumptions stood for like 20 years. And so it was a neat turn of events to find out that the clones were in fact the good guys and the bad guys were the separatists and trade federation.

    Also, I liked the way Palpatine played both sides.

    If nothing else, the PT really showed just how much of a mastermind Palpatine was.

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    BizazedoBizazedo Registered User regular
    I think this thread, or some prior incarnation of it, was the one that pointed out that if Clones were on the Republic side, it should've been called the Droid War or something else. Like, for Americans, we call the Vietnam War.....the Vietnam War. Vietnam calls it The American War, etc.

    I dunno who posted it, but ever since, it's bothered me about the Clone Wars.

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    PailryderPailryder Registered User regular
    Bizazedo wrote: »
    I think this thread, or some prior incarnation of it, was the one that pointed out that if Clones were on the Republic side, it should've been called the Droid War or something else. Like, for Americans, we call the Vietnam War.....the Vietnam War. Vietnam calls it The American War, etc.

    I dunno who posted it, but ever since, it's bothered me about the Clone Wars.

    and now i'm thinking of how the story would be different if the jedi were teamed up with the droids and having to kill these clones and man there could have been some interesting things there. it definitely seems like calling it the clone wars should have been a give away somehow.

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    ChaosHatChaosHat Hop, hop, hop, HA! Trick of the lightRegistered User regular
    Bizazedo wrote: »
    I think this thread, or some prior incarnation of it, was the one that pointed out that if Clones were on the Republic side, it should've been called the Droid War or something else. Like, for Americans, we call the Vietnam War.....the Vietnam War. Vietnam calls it The American War, etc.

    I dunno who posted it, but ever since, it's bothered me about the Clone Wars.

    This is the thing that's most misleading about the Clone War in between the OT and the PT.

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    Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    edited March 2020
    But if the enemies are droids, the Jedi can slice them up without it being scary for kids.

    :rotate:

    I do get your point, but the Jedi should never have been down in the thick of battle anyway, at least not as a rule. As a "peaceful" order, there should've been no more than a handful who even trained with the lightsaber for combat; the rest should've been operating as true generals, using their Force abilities to direct Republic forces to victory against overwhelming odds. They would know they had to keep fighting, but they would also be constantly feeling the loss of lives from their allies and the clones, grinding them down throughout the whole war. And they would keep the Republic winning but only at an enormous cost of life, leaving the Republic ripe for somebody to start accusing the Jedi for using the war to amass power and thus giving Palpatine the perfect opening to wipe them out and take over. The Jedi, mentally and emotionally brutalized by the war, would've been unable to anticipate or reverse the shift, largely neutralizing their abilities of foresight.

    Anakin, already a questionable choice for recruitment, would've been recruited as warrior-monk to strengthen the Jedi as a military force. As the most senior Jedi actually trained for war and combat, he would then have been perfectly equipped to hunt down and destroy any surviving Jedi as Vader.

    Ninja Snarl P on
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    reVersereVerse Attack and Dethrone God Registered User regular
    The Jedi are defined by their lightsabers, there's nothing peaceful about them.

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    Doctor DetroitDoctor Detroit Registered User regular
    What, you think a Jedi is going to face down the whole Separatist Army with their laser sword?

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    Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    (just giving this thread a quick bit of percussive maintenance, please excuse me.)

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    KamarKamar Registered User regular
    I really hope we can get some alternative views of the Force in film. Ideally without those alternative views being immediately proven wrong or bad, as often happened in the old EU.

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    FANTOMASFANTOMAS Flan ArgentavisRegistered User regular
    ChaosHat wrote: »
    Yes but that puts war in an even more ghoulish dollars and cents way. "Well we won the war because having to replace the clones bankrupted them." It just lowers the stakes for the in fiction people and us out of there.

    Think more in terms of the animatrix, with the war on the AI, losing or winning the war wasnt just an economic concern, you show the audience that the droids can be nasty, then show the people who are vulnerable if the clone army fails, and done, you have tension there.

    Of course being Star Wars, you cant show that the droids are nasty, and most planets are made of well dressed people in balconies looking at the sky or the horizon. But it COULD be done.

    Yes, with a quick verbal "boom." You take a man's peko, you deny him his dab, all that is left is to rise up and tear down the walls of Jericho with a ".....not!" -TexiKen
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    SteelhawkSteelhawk Registered User regular
    reVerse wrote: »
    The Jedi are defined by their lightsabers, there's nothing peaceful about them.

    That's what we are shown in various media, absolutely. I like to think that there are thousands and thousands of stories of the Jedi waltzing into a problem filled place and solving problems with discussion and fostering understanding or simply exposing the wrongdoings and letting locals take care of their own problems.

    None of that makes a good space opera movie/book/show/game though. We demand the snap-hiss and pew pew.

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