There is a [Conspiracy Thread] here, and I will seek it out!

Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
Bogart wrote:
Someone make another one of these.
Ok! It's not gonna be a good OP though.

Aliens. Bigfoots. Celebrity pedophage cults. Bigfoot Alien Pedophile Celebrity Cults. This is the continuation of the previous conspiracy theories thread! Don ye now thine tinfoil hat and brave the kookier corners of the internet, plumb the depths of the human psyche and come out the other side more confused than ever.



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  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited July 9
    Glad I refreshed before I posted. It takes a couple hours to put together an OP like I did last time and I didn't want any repeats.

    No reason to let the work go to waste:



    The internet is bad. The reasons are manifold but conspiracy theories is the one this thread is about.

    "Conspiracy theory," means something slightly distinct from the sum of its constituent terms. Most conspiracy theories involve actual theorization of conspiracies among some shadowy They (usually Jews), but this isn't what the term has come to mean. What it ultimately means is a pattern of argument wherein facts not in evidence are used to pursue conclusions they don't support.

    Here's just a few fun examples (see also thelast OP):

    Homeopathy
    Homeopathy_What_Plants_Crave.png
    Water is magic, and the less magic it is the MORE magic it becomes. To make water more magic you dilute the magic out with more regular water, adding a drop from the sample to a flask, then a drop of that to a different flask, repeated until no molecule from the original sample would remain even if the final flask were larger than the observable universe. That sounds like a lot, but you can do this on a modest sized kitchen counter, a drop in just a cup of water multiplies the dilution incredibly fast.

    Anti-vaxx
    462px-Vaccine_bullshit.jpg
    Vaccines are bad and will do things. Getting sick is good and won't do things. Pioneered by "doctor" Andrew Wakefield, who linked vaccines to autism so he could... uh... sell more vaccines.

    Geocentrism
    577px-Ptolemaic_system_%28PSF%29.png
    Flat earth's little brother, living in the shadow of his more successful and talented siblings like the Ronald Weasley of bunk. This is Flat Earth theory for people who've done the math correctly and can no longer deny the Earth is flat, but can sure as hell deny everything else about modern science.

    Flood Geology
    20045521_1596311390399211_7503626277058911484_o.jpg?cb=1531348653
    A specific subset of Young Earth Creationism wherein Noah's Flood is responsible for everything we interpret as the geological record - the entire geological column was deposited in a few months and all the animals Noah deemed unworthy were sorted into the layers neatly by species rather than size the way actual tests have shown (these tests still prove the theory, though, totally trust us!). Replaces the more traditional God the Deceiver version where the geological column and fossil record were created from nothing on the First Day with enough Magic Water to satisfy a million generations of homeopaths.

    Bible Code
    170px-Bible_code_wikipedia_example.svg.png
    Not strictly limited to the bible, there's also older Torah and Kabballah and other versions, and even US Code and Uniform Code of Military Justice versions popular among Sovereign Citizens. I lump them all into the Bible Code because the practice was widely popularized in the 90's by Michael Drosnin's book The Bible Code. Basically, you play a large volume of text like a crossword puzzle looking for the words you need to prove your point. Closely related to our next contestant...

    Numerology
    300px-Oudjat.SVG.png
    Another one often associated with the Bible today but far more widespread, nearly every system of belief has some history with the practice. Numerology is the nonsensical mashing together of arbitrary figures to divine Truth. What is and is not Truth is usually decided upon before the Numerologist starts calculating.

    Cryptozoology
    Cottingley_Fairies_1.jpg
    Encompassing too many separate groups to really be called a unified theory, but if I get started this whole list would be cryptids. Examples include the fantastic (like Mothman, fae, and mermaids), the living extinct species (Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot), the unproven variant of a real species (black tigers, gray/brindled lion), the real species in a place it doesn't exist (the African Nandi bear and the American eastern cougar), the just plain silly (Jackalope), and the local prank on outsiders (snipe or drop bear). Cryptozoology is rife with hoaxes and swear-to-god claims but extra short on solid evidence.

    Eschatology
    The-Last-Judgment-Michelangelo-Sistine-Chapel-Vatican.jpg
    Broadly, the study or speculation on any religious end-of-the-world scenario. More specifically, there is a primarily Christian movement to actually bring about the events of Revelation. There are disputes on how to achieve this, but there are multiple movements which use the linguistic word-crime, "Immanentize the Eschaton," which is to say, make the end of the world immanent. There are two schools of thought in this. Liberal protestants say the way to do this is to make Earth more like heaven, until there's nothing left to gain except eternity. Evangelical Fundamentalists believe the way is to satisfy the nebulously defined initial condition in the book of Revelation. This often involves a unified Israel being destroyed by an army of brown people.


    QAnon/The Storm
    There exists a omnipresent global reason for me to use this image again.
    9t5z9fjhg9dl.png
    Just... The less said the better. Just read the thread, like half of it's going to be this shit.

    Hevach on
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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    Well shit that's a way better op than mine dang

  • PhyphorPhyphor Building Planet Busters Tasting FruitRegistered User regular
    Yeah, almost like you're trying to cover something up...

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  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2020/07/08/trud-j08.html

    In actual conspiracy theory news, just guess what theory was espoused by the guy who crashed a truck full of guns through the gate to Justin Trudeau's house.

    Just guess. You'll never get it. Did you guess yet? What is your guess? Oh, well, then. Got it in one.

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  • Hexmage-PAHexmage-PA Registered User regular
    Just saw this take on conspiracy theories on a blog I follow:
    I’ve said a bit of this before but conspiracy theory culture is so blatantly packed with neurotypicals preying on the mentally ill to generate an ultra-devoted fanbase and even use it to virally perpetuate their personal and often unbelievably sick opinions. These are people who can quit believing these paranoid things any time they want and just hook themselves on the high of getting easy likes, views and feverish support no matter what ridiculous or hate filled bullshit they make up for a youtube video.

    But all people do is characterize them and their fans together as “crazy” and “stupid” fringe radicals instead of confronting that these are mass psychological abusers who have been allowed to collect victims in public on monetized platforms.

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  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Ask me about my scrotalist agenda Registered User regular
    Sounds like a conspiracy to me.

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  • NeveronNeveron SwedenRegistered User regular
    Alex Jones, at least, is on court record that his outrageous conspiracy theories are an act. So I could see that, yeah. Of course in his case he's also selling snake oil and getting more than just "easy likes".

    I definitely would not be surprised if he were high on his own supply (of conspiracy theories), though, he just probably doesn't believe in the literal baby-eating democratic sewer goblins and whatnot. Definitely still a huge racist, sexist, and all-around asshole, just maybe not quite as much as what he presents to his fans (who probably lean towards the sewer goblins being real).

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  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    Honestly, the term "conspiracy" itself uses linguistic programming to subjugate the masses. CON spiracy? Really? So it's negative right out of the gate. It's like the JRR Tolkiens of the world who have designed the linguistic patterns of the current cloned version of our planet are trying to dissuade us from peeking behind the veil just by baking a negative prefix into the descriptor itself. Why's it gotta be a CON spiracy, folks? Why not just a spiracy. Or a prospiracy? That's right. These are prospiracy theories, not CON spiracy. We're not CON stipated, we're FREE men and FREE women and FREE elves and FREE thinkers even if Tolkien hates us all #lembas

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  • jungleroomxjungleroomx Panem, circenses, credulous descent. A Gadarene charge into endarkenment Registered User regular
  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    If there was a Tolkein curating the world's languages English would be a language instead of six gnomes wearing a trench coat.

    Case in point: the prefix con has two different meanings, one of which has two different etymologies from hitchhiking in on different root words. And none of them are related to the word con.

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  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    Hevach wrote: »
    If there was a Tolkein curating the world's languages English would be a language instead of six gnomes wearing a trench coat.

    Case in point: the prefix con has two different meanings, one of which has two different etymologies from hitchhiking in on different root words. And none of them are related to the word con.

    That's just what Hevach Prime wants you to think.



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  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Ask me about my scrotalist agenda Registered User regular
    Neveron wrote: »
    Alex Jones, at least, is on court record that his outrageous conspiracy theories are an act. So I could see that, yeah. Of course in his case he's also selling snake oil and getting more than just "easy likes".

    I definitely would not be surprised if he were high on his own supply (of conspiracy theories), though, he just probably doesn't believe in the literal baby-eating democratic sewer goblins and whatnot. Definitely still a huge racist, sexist, and all-around asshole, just maybe not quite as much as what he presents to his fans (who probably lean towards the sewer goblins being real).
    Yes but he also lost the case due to his unstable personality so his defence needs to taken with a grain of salt.

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  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    I do have to take issue with @Hevach's SPURIOUS! claims that "immanentize the Eschaton" is a wordcrime.

    It is, instead, a fantastic phrase, being in the first line of the book most famous for having the single greatest list of band names ever.

    So there.

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  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    So here's a bizarre new one I just stumbled on. Q is now targeting Wayfair (yes, the online furniture company), alleging that they are somehow involved in human trafficking.



    Ben Collins is a reporter for NBC News

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  • PhotosaurusPhotosaurus Registered User regular
    So looking at the top right image in that tweet... they think it's a conspiracy because they don't understand drop shipping?

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  • DiannaoChongDiannaoChong Registered User regular
    edited July 10
    Bogart wrote:
    Someone make another one of these.
    Ok! It's not gonna be a good OP though.

    Aliens. Bigfoots. Celebrity pedophage cults. Bigfoot Alien Pedophile Celebrity Cults. This is the continuation of the previous conspiracy theories thread! Don ye now thine tinfoil hat and brave the kookier corners of the internet, plumb the depths of the human psyche and come out the other side more confused than ever.

    *snip*

    So the mods are in on it? SCATTER.

    edit: Holy shit "homeopathy for plants" is the most incredible sentence I have seen today.

    DiannaoChong on
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  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    So here's a bizarre new one I just stumbled on. Q is now targeting Wayfair (yes, the online furniture company), alleging that they are somehow involved in human trafficking.

    Wayfair isn't involved in human trafficking.

    That's just stupid.

    They're involved with selling furniture to concentration camps, and the camps are doing the trafficking.

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  • KaputaKaputa Registered User regular
    So I doubt there are accurate figures available, but does anyone have a sense of how large the QAnon movement is now relative to a year or two ago? Has it been steadily growing throughout the Trump era, or did it peak earlier and decline since?

  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    I don't think it's declining. I'm pretty sure there weren't any politicians giving Q the time of day two years ago, and now there is a worrying amount.

    https://www.npr.org/2020/07/01/885991730/gop-candidates-open-to-qanon-conspiracy-theory-advance-in-congressional-races

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  • SurfpossumSurfpossum A nonentity trying to preserve the anonymity he so richly deserves.Registered User regular
    I dunno of any good research charting its growth because it was so fringe, but here's the current state of things as of March (also mentioned in the article above):

    FT_20.03.18_QAnon_1.png

    https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/03/30/qanons-conspiracy-theories-have-seeped-into-u-s-politics-but-most-dont-know-what-it-is/

    Google's data on searches for qanon:

    1r3en09f9l4x.png

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  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited July 10
    So here's a bizarre new one I just stumbled on. Q is now targeting Wayfair (yes, the online furniture company), alleging that they are somehow involved in human trafficking.



    Ben Collins is a reporter for NBC News


    I read a book where the villain did something like this. He smuggled artifacts out of the middle east using art auctions. He'd crap out a half ass Jackson Pollock knockoff titled, "Small Bust of Sobek, 3rd Dynasty," and use that to sell the actual artifact, moving the goods and laundering the money in one step, and giving the buyer an overpriced tax write-off they can donate to the local community college.

    Hevach on
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  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Ask me about my scrotalist agenda Registered User regular
    While most Americans haven't heard of or about QAnon I bet a lot have heard ideas related to it. For one, I doubt ex-General Flynn is a QAnon-er, but its easy for a phrase associated with them to enter his vocabulary. Especially one that sounds good.

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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    Aw I was just coming here to post about the Wayfair People Cabinet thing, I had a link to a Facebook thread and everything. Ah, well. That's what I get for doing yardwork instead of feverishly posting conspiracy theories.

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  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    How many times have I told you Metz, yardwork is for sheep.

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  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    While most Americans haven't heard of or about QAnon I bet a lot have heard ideas related to it. For one, I doubt ex-General Flynn is a QAnon-er, but its easy for a phrase associated with them to enter his vocabulary. Especially one that sounds good.

    They're very good at signal amplification, especially with all the bots pushing their shit, and their shit leaks into the mainstream GOP even in the best of scenarios. I expect Flynn knew exactly what he was doing, or at least approximately enough.

    Elvenshae
  • evilmrhenryevilmrhenry Registered User regular
    It's a good example of how a conspiracy setup works.

    Wayfair sells products. Many of their products have names that are also used by people. For example, "Samiyah" (one of the examples) has 25 results. 24 of those products are obviously too cheap to secretly be human trafficking, but the last one is a seven thousand dollar sectional sofa. Suspicious! Or how about Malachi? 81 results, all less than a thousand dollars, except for the $10,000 hand knotted area rug. Now, are these the child trafficking products, or are they just an overpriced sectional sofa and area rug?

    A related question: how many people are named Malachi? Google says over 2700 people in the US in 2006 had the name Malachi, and that's just one year in one country. What are the odds that none of them went missing? In fact, a one "Malachi Wiley" went missing last month. Did he turn up later? Maybe, but that's not the point. That rug is now proof of human trafficking, and if I decide my foyer needs a one-of-a-kind rug to really bring out the afternoon sun, I'll end up with a very confused kid showing up in the mail. (Hopefully I sprung for next-day delivery.)

    Or maybe Wayfair sells products in the $10k+ range, tend to use human names to describe their products, and if you have a few thousand kids with the same name, one of them is bound to go missing at some point.

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  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited July 10
    All I know about this Wayfair thing is that apparently I'm not worth much on the trafficking market. Most expensive item with my first name is a $219 wicker end table and for my last name it's a $358 ottoman with a hideous dalmatian print that looks like something out of Cruella DeVille's guest room Edit: which is only $296 with my wife's first name.

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  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Ask me about my scrotalist agenda Registered User regular
    Hevach wrote: »
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    While most Americans haven't heard of or about QAnon I bet a lot have heard ideas related to it. For one, I doubt ex-General Flynn is a QAnon-er, but its easy for a phrase associated with them to enter his vocabulary. Especially one that sounds good.

    They're very good at signal amplification, especially with all the bots pushing their shit, and their shit leaks into the mainstream GOP even in the best of scenarios. I expect Flynn knew exactly what he was doing, or at least approximately enough.
    Maybe. But if you compare it to a similar quote "all for one and one for all" you'd probably see a similar dynamic. Someone could use that phrase without being aware of The Three Musketeers or reading the books or even seeing a movie. TTM have been around longer and has a lot more cultural osmosis with the general public than QAnon but within conservative circles they're likely a lot closer.

  • zagdrobzagdrob Registered User regular
    Hevach wrote: »
    So here's a bizarre new one I just stumbled on. Q is now targeting Wayfair (yes, the online furniture company), alleging that they are somehow involved in human trafficking.



    Ben Collins is a reporter for NBC News


    I read a book where the villain did something like this. He smuggled artifacts out of the middle east using art auctions. He'd crap out a half ass Jackson Pollock knockoff titled, "Small Bust of Sobek, 3rd Dynasty," and use that to sell the actual artifact, moving the goods and laundering the money in one step, and giving the buyer an overpriced tax write-off they can donate to the local community college.

    Was this the Hobby Lobby / ISIS scandal?

    Cause that was a real conspiracy.

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  • TomantaTomanta Registered User regular
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    While most Americans haven't heard of or about QAnon I bet a lot have heard ideas related to it. For one, I doubt ex-General Flynn is a QAnon-er, but its easy for a phrase associated with them to enter his vocabulary. Especially one that sounds good.

    Most Americans have probably heard something that is related to QAnon, but that's because QAnon seems to absorb other conspiracy theories (which are then spread by people in power...). But I would definitely believe that just the phrase "QAnon" is a mystery to most Americans because that part doesn't seem to be signal boosted by traditional sources.

  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited July 10
    zagdrob wrote: »
    Hevach wrote: »
    So here's a bizarre new one I just stumbled on. Q is now targeting Wayfair (yes, the online furniture company), alleging that they are somehow involved in human trafficking.



    Ben Collins is a reporter for NBC News


    I read a book where the villain did something like this. He smuggled artifacts out of the middle east using art auctions. He'd crap out a half ass Jackson Pollock knockoff titled, "Small Bust of Sobek, 3rd Dynasty," and use that to sell the actual artifact, moving the goods and laundering the money in one step, and giving the buyer an overpriced tax write-off they can donate to the local community college.

    Was this the Hobby Lobby / ISIS scandal?

    Cause that was a real conspiracy.

    It's kind of similar. Hobby Lobby was bringing them in as fakes and then selling them as real (and it turned out a lot of them were fake because honor among thieves is a myth).

    The story is Grimiore of the Lamb by Kevin Hearne, and the bad guy is eaten by a demon because the good guy decided it would be funny to mess with his OCD by putting his things very slightly askew... It's not really about the art thing, that's just a background detail that the Wayfair thing reminds me of - using a proxy purchase named after the real purchase.

    Hevach on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    Kaputa wrote: »
    So I doubt there are accurate figures available, but does anyone have a sense of how large the QAnon movement is now relative to a year or two ago? Has it been steadily growing throughout the Trump era, or did it peak earlier and decline since?

    Everyone is actually a QAnon sleeper agent now.

    Well, everyone except you.

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  • JoolanderJoolander Registered User regular
    So looking at the top right image in that tweet... they think it's a conspiracy because they don't understand drop shipping?

    Haha yeah, who wouldn’t understand drop shipping







    <_<
    >_>

    What is drop shipping?

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  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    this thread has the new post bug, where I see the notification, but no new posts

    coincidence?

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  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited July 11
    Joolander wrote: »
    So looking at the top right image in that tweet... they think it's a conspiracy because they don't understand drop shipping?

    Haha yeah, who wouldn’t understand drop shipping







    <_<
    >_>

    What is drop shipping?

    It's kind of like the online version of retail slotting, where the store doesn't buy the product wholesale, but provides (either for a fee or a commission) the shelf space for it to a third party. Video games, gift cards, soft drinks, bread, power tools, and appliances, stuff with the As Seen On TV sticker, just for some examples. You might be inside a Walmart, but those categories of product are likely not being bought from Walmart but a third party.

    With drop shipping, it's not shelf space but web space. You might be on Wayfair's website, but when you purchase an item its usually coming from a third party. There are online retailers that don't even have a physical existence and are just a middle man.

    Edit: note this is distinct from third party sellers or storefronts, where you're actually dealing with the seller and the website is now the third party.

    Hevach on
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  • KupiKupi Registered User regular
    Joolander wrote: »
    So looking at the top right image in that tweet... they think it's a conspiracy because they don't understand drop shipping?

    Haha yeah, who wouldn’t understand drop shipping







    <_<
    >_>

    What is drop shipping?

    Wikipedia says that "drop shipping" is when a retailer sells goods to a customer, but without ever actually possessing the goods themselves. Instead, they forward all orders received to another retailer or wholesaler who does have it, who then ships the purchases to the customer directly. Applied to this specific case, the reason why the same product has four different prices and names despite having the same appearance is that Wayfair is selling each individual retailer/wholesaler's offering on their behalf-- which those retailers/wholesalers themselves list under different names and prices.

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  • TastyfishTastyfish Registered User regular
    So are the crazily high prices just an error, or a case where they're required to sell it themselves in order to advertise it on their site or something (but clearly won't compete with the direct from manufacturer slots)?

  • Smaug6Smaug6 Registered User regular
    Drop shipping always sounds good when I negotiate it into a contract, who wants inventory risk or supply chain headaches? But then it always go wrong! Misattributed customer service, shipping charges mismatching actuals, manual invoice reconciliation. The actual horror Q Anon is warning against.

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  • CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    https://twitter.com/i/events/1281720926682275840
    Wayfair confirms there is ‘no truth’ to conspiracy theories about human trafficking
    Oh, I thought they might say they were doing human trafficking and the batshit internet conspiracy theorists were right.

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  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    Wow that sure sounds like exactly what somebody who was human trafficking would say!

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