The Decline of Western [Twitter]ization

Hacksaw

When Twitter finally dies I'll have to go back to getting my memes from graffiti at the bus stop near my job. Those guys tend to keep things up to date, but the smell of paint fumes is never going to sit well with me.

ph blake

https://twitter.com/Agrimmora/status/1639260271628677121?s=19

Twitter: we have Mousely

Lanz

https://twitter.com/1996sf/status/1642125345318109184?s=46

King Ghidorah...
Tanugidora? King Tanura?

I christen thee with raccoon dogs, twitter thread

Kelor

It was a fucking hit piece.

Some kid in Australia jumped off a stone wall shouting 'Im Michaelangelo!' and broke his leg. The entire program was edited footage of these violent American kids jump kicking and mashing turtles with weapons into foot soldiers or bebop and rocksteady and shouting. Look at the sad state of violent children's programming coming out of America and how it influences our poor innocent Aussie youth!

Anectdotally Ninja Turtles were banned from two of my primary schools because kids were climbing on top of classrooms and flipping off them while jumping down.

If this happened around ‘91 it might be a kid called Sean Roche’s fault. He did break his leg doing it but he was a Donatello fan.

Alexandier

That kid was not a villain... the media apparatus that exploited his ill fated ninja jump was and is ever my enemy.

I scraped the back of my calves jumping off a wood deck under construction acting like Captain America, kids are stupid and hurt themselves.

Turning my love for TMNT against the very franchise I adore wreaked me. The kid is innocent, the media and my elementary school teachers can hang for their crimes.

Houk the Namebringer

yeah the idea that banning any media will stop kids from finding new and exciting ways to hurt themselves just shows a profound lack of understanding of the human mind

Metzger Meister

how many kids, me included, narrowly avoided serious injury trying to Mary Poppins down a staircase?

Styrofoam Sammich

Metzger Meister wrote: »

how many kids, me included, narrowly avoided serious injury trying to Mary Poppins down a staircase?

Skill issue

HeadCreeps

Ah, a new Twitter thread

Like an untouched field of freshly fallen snow

Brovid Hasselsmof

Waiting for someone to come and piss in it

facetious

I didn't emulate anything as nerdy as TMNT or Mary Poppins as a kid

I was cool

I emulated American Gladiators

Metzger Meister

Styrofoam Sammich wrote: »

Metzger Meister wrote: »

how many kids, me included, narrowly avoided serious injury trying to Mary Poppins down a staircase?

Skill issue

she makes it look so easy!

I needed anime to post.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i33Dr8HsGQ0

ph blake

My move loves to tell the story of how of how I apparently karate chopped a random stranger at the mall because "he looked like Shredder"

So basically, suck it Australia, I'm the reason your teachers tried to ban Ninja Turtles

Reynolds

https://twitter.com/Soundout12/status/1639480000603901953

Couscous

Weren't legacy verified accounts supposed to lose their blue checkmark today

DJ Eebs

never underestimate Elon's inability to know how to do something

I needed anime to post.

technically speaking, he said that starting april 1st they would "begin winding down" the program

strictly speaking that process could take quite some time and there was no actual promised "SUDDENLY EVERYTHING DISAPPEARS"

but also, as i said at the time, if you take twitter at their word for any "we will begin-" post, you're a mark

Burtletoy

Couscous wrote: »

Weren't legacy verified accounts supposed to lose their blue checkmark today

I don't know the truth of it, but a week or two back there were a bunch of people saying they paid for 1 month to test the blue system when it came out, then stopped subscribing, and still have their blue checkmarks.

So I imagine it's just another broken part of twitter

Beef Avenger

https://twitter.com/MattNavarra/status/1641821213407281154?s=20

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/03/31/twitter-verification-checkmark-ending/

In case you were wondering why legacy blue checks didn't actually disappear when they were supposed to.

lol, lmao

Houk the Namebringer

yeah they're never going away

DarkPrimus

Metzger Meister wrote: »

how many kids, me included, narrowly avoided serious injury trying to Mary Poppins down a staircase?

I swear I used to be able to enter slow motion by jumping down the stairs.

I never broke anything but I stopped doing it the first time my mom yelled at me.

Hacksaw

DJ Eebs wrote: »

never underestimate Elon's inability to know how to do something

Honestly that's been my favorite part of this whole saga. His internet-addled brain is totally broken and incapable of honestly and coherently explaining what he wants to Twitter's (remaining) staff. Really if he just came out and said to them "I want the public to love me like women and my father never have", they might be able to actually create some sort of internet simulacrum to plug him into and let him experience a rush of endorphins the likes of which he's never previously.

Or otherwise just dope him up with tonnes of opium and mount a VR headset on his noggin until his brain melts while he chokes on his own vomit.

Burtletoy

DarkPrimus wrote: »

Metzger Meister wrote: »

how many kids, me included, narrowly avoided serious injury trying to Mary Poppins down a staircase?

I swear I used to be able to enter slow motion by jumping down the stairs.

I never broke anything but I stopped doing it the first time my mom yelled at me.

When I was ~3 my family did a work exchange thing with a family in Germany, and while we were there me and my ~5 year old sister learned this cool new game called "jumping off the top bunk bed"

When we can back home we shared this cool new game with some of our best friends a kid my age and his younger brother.

On the first attempt by the younger brother, he hit his head on this minikeg that I used as a piggy bank for pennies that was basically this



Blood everywhere, my older sister trying to get him to calm down so we didn't get in trouble, etc.

It wasn't a life threatening thing, thankfully. Fully recover for him! But it felt real real bad, no doubt

KalTorak

Hacksaw wrote: »

DJ Eebs wrote: »

never underestimate Elon's inability to know how to do something

Honestly that's been my favorite part of this whole saga. His internet-addled brain is totally broken and incapable of honestly and coherently explaining what he wants to Twitter's (remaining) staff. Really if he just came out and said to them "I want the public to love me like women and my father never have", they might be able to actually create some sort of internet simulacrum to plug him into and let him experience a rush of endorphins the likes of which he's never previously.

Or otherwise just dope him up with tonnes of opium and mount a VR headset on his noggin until his brain melts while he chokes on his own vomit.

I've said it since he started on this mess - instead of spending $44b on Twitter he could have spent like... under $1 million on heroin and ended up a lot happier.

minor incident

Is there any more unifying of an "older sibling" experience than doing something stupid with your little brother/sister that causes semi-serious injury as you panic and assure them that everything's totally cool, you're okay, now hold still while I clean up the blood, mom doesn't need to know, just hold this towel over it, please stop crying.

DJ Eebs

as the older sibling I was mostly the one getting injured

Commander Zoom

minor incident wrote: »

Is there any more unifying of an "older sibling" experience than doing something stupid with your little brother/sister that causes semi-serious injury as you panic and assure them that everything's totally cool, you're okay, now hold still while I clean up the blood, mom doesn't need to know, just hold this towel over it, please stop crying.

That was a lot of what my younger and youngest brothers got up to. I was the boring one who just stayed in his room and read.

Styrofoam Sammich

Polaritie

Yeah I feel like I got banged up more.

I had at least a couple cases where I managed to cut myself without noticing and only found out when my mom pointed out the blood trail (not that much blood, but like, drops here and there).

Cello

Pretty sure I've described it here before, but my Dad had a game as a kid where this lady named Mary had gotten a bow and arrow set for her birthday and so the neighbourhood kids would play "Robin Hood"

Where someone would shoot an arrow into the air and you would try not to get hit by it on the way down

This game ended when Mary got an arrow through her foot

The 50s and 60s were a different time

minor incident

Honestly, that sounds like the 80s in Texas.

KalTorak

that happened in an episode of the Sopranos, except the kid got it worse than in the foot

minor incident

KalTorak wrote: »

that happened in an episode of the Sopranos, except the kid got it worse than in the foot

That just means you get to shoot the next round.

see317

Cello wrote: »

Pretty sure I've described it here before, but my Dad had a game as a kid where this lady named Mary had gotten a bow and arrow set for her birthday and so the neighbourhood kids would play "Robin Hood"

Where someone would shoot an arrow into the air and you would try not to get hit by it on the way down

This game ended when Mary got an arrow through her foot

The 50s and 60s were a different time

Ah, yes, bow assisted lawn darts

Darmak

minor incident wrote: »

Honestly, that sounds like the 80s in Texas.

Growing up my friend and her four brothers and her younger sister would go out in the woods and shoot crayons at each other with crossbows. Between shit like that and the "taking all the black powder out of fireworks and combining it into big bombs and throwing them at each other" I'm surprised any of us survived

Veldrin

when I was a kid I spent a lot of time at my friend's farm and one of the recurring games was "see how close you can stand before the feed pellets fired from the air rifle start breaking skin"

Opty

My cousins took care of all of the "do dipshit things and injure yourselves" stuff in my childhood, so I got to witness that shit whenever they visited or we visited them but luckily did not have to live with it day-to-day

Carpy

We had a barracks game called stretch where you'd toss a knife to the side of someone's foot, if it stuck in the grass that person had to move their foot to that spot and then take their turn. Alternate tosses until someone couldn't stretch their legs far enough.

Blackhawk1313

We had murder ball, a “game” in which one unlucky pariticipant would stand against a wall and attempt to dodge as many thrown objects as possible, usually fairly unsuccessfully. This game would get interrupted inevitably by a parent yelling at us not to stop playing, but to use something other than the garage door as the backdrop because it was getting dinged.

… it’s a wonder I made it to my current age really.

minor incident

Murderball was great-slash-terrible. We usually played with golf balls. We had a strict honor code, though. If you hit the target in the head, they got one free throw at you that you weren't allowed to dodge.

And if you hit the target in the balls, that's hilarious.