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The thread for horrible kids' jokes.

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    ZoolanderZoolander Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Staleghoti wrote: »
    What do you do if the dish washer doesn't work?
    smack the bitch

    my first and last woman joke

    i don't get it, where's the joke in that

    Zoolander on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    awww let the nerds have their happiness geez


    at least he's gonna get laid

    Raneados on
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    WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    yeah, with his mother

    Wren on
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    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
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    PotUPotU __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    They're probably going to cyber in EQ.

    PotU on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    1) how do you know what his mom looks like?
    2) the dude looks like 35ish
    3) the chick looks like 35ish
    4) don't mothers usually have the same last name as their son?
    5) cry about it

    Raneados on
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    Randall_FlaggRandall_Flagg Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    When the Kool-Aid man plays baseball, he's always the PITCHER!

    Randall_Flagg on
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    WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    you're the one making a big fuss about it, cryer

    Wren on
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    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
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    Randall_FlaggRandall_Flagg Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    When the Kool-Aid man plays baseball, he's always the PITCHER!

    you can substitute "engages in sodomy" for "plays baseball" and it still makes sense

    Randall_Flagg on
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    NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    i wrote an advert in the paper looking for my lost dog.


    it said, "here boy!"

    Nuzak on
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    JohannenJohannen Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
    Because it was dead

    Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree?
    Because it thought it was a game

    Why did the tree fall over?
    Because it thought it was a monkey

    Johannen on
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    StaleghotiStaleghoti Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    it's not his mom, she's just a pooch

    Staleghoti on
    tmmysta-sig.png2wT1Q.gifYAH!YAH!STEAMYoutubeMixesPSN: Clintown
    Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
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    ArtreusArtreus I'm a wizard And that looks fucked upRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    What is the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
    I don't have sex with the sandwich before I eat it.

    What is more fun than swinging a dead baby around by the feet?
    Stopping it with the shovel.

    What is worse than nailing 10 dead babies to a tree?
    Nailing one dead baby to 10 trees.
    Johannen wrote: »
    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
    Because it was dead

    Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree?
    Because it thought it was a game

    Why did the tree fall over?
    Because it thought it was a monkey

    Alternatively. "Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?"
    Peer pressure.

    Artreus on
    http://atlanticus.tumblr.com/ PSN: Atlanticus 3DS: 1590-4692-3954 Steam: Artreus
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    ANARCHakeANARCHake Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    dead baby jokes are only funny to the person telling them

    if one receives dead baby jokes it is never a happy occasion

    ANARCHake on
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    KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    whats the best thing about fucking twenty six year olds?

    THERE'S TWENTY OF THEM!


    how do you catch an unique rabbit?
    you neek up on it
    how do you catch a tame rabbit?
    tame way, you neek up on it.

    Kusuguttai on
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Uriel and Clawshrimpy both jump off a building at the same time.

    Who hits the ground first?

    who cares

    Abracadaniel on
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    CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Kusuguttai wrote: »
    whats the best thing about fucking twenty six year olds?

    THERE'S TWENTY OF THEM!

    I actually told that joke at a store meeting when I worked at RadioShack and had the managers spitting out their drinks.

    Critical on
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    KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    and then firing you

    Kusuguttai on
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    CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Actually, no. It wasn't all the employees and everyone there had the same twisted sense of humor. It was also 3AM after a inventory so we were all exhausted to the point of stupidity.

    Critical on
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Yet to rise from that point.

    Abracadaniel on
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    CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    Yet to rise from that point.

    It burns.

    Critical on
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    i'm just in a punchy mood cause i found out papa johns online delivery doesn't deliver in my area

    damn i wanted some of that bbq hawaiian chicken pizza

    Abracadaniel on
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    CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Being denied pizza is one of life's greatest disappointments.

    Critical on
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    right up there with being you

    Abracadaniel on
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    CriticalCritical Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Being me is pretty damn disappointing.

    Critical on
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    NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    bbq hawaiian chicken pizza sounds kind of gross

    Nuzak on
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    potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    it is delicious

    potatoe on
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    oh hey

    somebody more disappointing that Critical

    awesome

    Abracadaniel on
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    NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    oh hey

    somebody more disappointing that Critical

    awesome

    you are being mean tonight

    Nuzak on
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    I don't even know why


    I don't even know who you guys are

    Pay it no mind.

    You know, like you: No mind.

    Abracadaniel on
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    NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    I don't even know why


    I don't even know who you guys are

    Pay it no mind.

    You know, like you: No mind.

    could any one man make sense of what this says

    perhaps

    perhaps not

    Nuzak on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Alright, this woman is pregnant, the couple's first child, and when she gives birth, the baby is horrible deformed. In fact, it is so deformed, that it does not have a body. It is only a head. The doctors don't expect it to live for more than a day or two, but miraculously, it does. The parents name it Tommy, and try to give it as good of a life as they can. This is difficult of course, as Tommy is nothing more than a disembodied head, and as such gets made fun of a lot at school. Unsurprisingly, he becomes a nerdish sort, and spends a lot of his time on his own all through his school years, staying away from parties and such, all the way through college. Finally, on the day he turns 21, his dad decides to take him out for a drink. Tommy has never had a drink before of course, as he's never really partied in high school or college, and it would be mighty hard for him to try and get drunk without someone helping him, on account of the no body thing. So his dad takes him out to a bar, sets him down on the bar, and calls the bartender over for a pair of beers. He feeds Tommy his first sip of beer, and all of a sudden, from the base of his neck, and arm starts to grow out. Within seconds, Tommy has a full sized adult arm, and is standing on the barstool with it. His father, excited, gives him another sip of beer, and, miraculously, another arm begins to grow. Tommy scuttles around the bar like some sort of deformed crab on his two legs, then gets back up onto the bar and feeds himself for the first time in his life, taking a third drink from his beer. A leg sprouts out, and with another drink, it is joined by its pair. Tommy, overjoyed, runs outside, screaming with joy, and is probably hit by a bus and killed. As the father looks on in absolute horror, the bartender says to him, "He should've quit while he was a head."

    Straightzi on
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    Lord DaveLord Dave Grief Causer Bitch Free ZoneRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    why is he only probably hit by a bus?

    Lord Dave on
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    WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    to make room for a sequel

    Wren on
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    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Hahaha I think that was supposed to be promptly. Whoops.

    Straightzi on
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited August 2007
    why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors
    if it had 4 it'd be a chicken sedan

    Knob on
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    Sars_BoySars_Boy Rest, You Are The Lightning. Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Knock Knock

    Who's there?

    September 11th

    September 11th who?
    YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!

    Sars_Boy on
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    BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Why did six go out with seven?
    He heard seven ate nine

    BusterK on
    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited August 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Who's there?

    Calamity Jane on
    twitter https://twitter.com/mperezwritesirl michelle patreon https://www.patreon.com/thatwronglove michelle's comic book from IMAGE COMICS you can order http://a.co/dn5YeUD
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited August 2007
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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