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Revenge of the Strange & Embarrassing Moments

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Posts

  • UndefinedMonkeyUndefinedMonkey Registered User
    edited December 2007
    LineNoiz wrote: »
    The boss then runs back into the hallway and proceeds to give me my monthly "are you going to get everything finished? Great!" pep talk from the hallway.

    At least he didn't try to beat the invisible monster to death with the baseball bat.

    UndefinedMonkey on
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  • VeeveeVeevee WisconsinRegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    LineNoiz wrote: »
    The boss then runs back into the hallway and proceeds to give me my monthly "are you going to get everything finished? Great!" pep talk from the hallway.

    At least he didn't try to beat the invisible monster to death with the baseball bat.

    Would have been a better ending, especially if a window got smashed.

    Veevee on
  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Me and my buddy Patrick were disscussing our individual neighborhoods and I said " Well I live next to a Church so I mean for the most part I'm covered on robberies and such"

    Patrick replied - There's a church in my neighborhood too I still almost get mugged daily.

    Now before I go on something important -Patrick is black. We are good enough friends that I poke fun at his race and he does the same to me.


    I said " Well yeah but it's a black person's church that doesn't count."

    He laughed a bit too hard and pointed behind me.

    Apparently the customer who had heard our conversation was not so forgiving of racial/religious humor.

    That was a fun 5 minutes of stone cold silence.

    King Riptor on
    I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
  • ArikadoArikado Southern CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Another couple from when I worked at a snackshop in a gas station:

    Do I know you?

    This was probably one of those "oh shit its happening" moments.

    I'm working day shift (6am to 2pm) at the register with a high school kid as my assistant for the morning. Some time before noon, we get a couple of customers in the store paying for drinks and gas. A semi-regular customer comes in, we'll call him Marco (I actually don't know his name). He's one of those kind of homeless looking guys that has one of those gangster voices that sounds like he wants to kick ass or get his kicked. Looks hispanic and is about 5'8" Anyways, Marco comes in on foot from the park down the block and pays for a fountain drink.

    At this moment, a new customer comes in. He has parked his station wagon with his fat wife and a little girl in tow. This guy is tall, about 6'2", white and I'd guess around 230 lbs. He comes in with his wife and kid going towards the drink section. For the sake of distinction, we'll call this guy Ray. They're over near the drink section doing their stuff. I'm attending some regular customers with gas and cigs and my helper is using the second register to take care of the Lotto people.

    From afar, I see Marco and Ray talk:

    Ray: "Hey there, whats up bro?" :)
    Marco: "scuse me?!"
    Ray: "I said 'whats up bro,' something wrong?"
    Marco: "Do I know you?!" *puffs his chest*
    Ray: "Wanna take it outside bro?"
    Marco: "YEAH I WANNA TAKE IT OUTSIDE!"
    Wife and kid: "Daddy where ya goin?"

    At this point I'm like...uh no they're not. They both step out onto the walkway in front of the store and talk shit. Then Ray throws a fierce punch and pushes Marco into the plexiglass wall. The fight pretty much involves Ray slamming this guy repeatedly into the plexiglass with Marco flailing and trying to kick Ray. My assistant is shocked but I tell him to call 911 in case this drags on. Eventually Ray's wife pulls him into the car (having paid me $20 for a $3 drink) and they drive off.

    Marco comes in with a swollen eye and blood on the side of his ear. He walks up to me and asks "hey did I pay for my drink" and I say yes. Picks up his drink, goes outside and picks out some ice cubes. He grabs a bunch and puts them in the shirt he was carrying and now has a makeshift eye pack. We tell the COPs not to come after that. But poor Marco just staggered all the way back home.

    ====================

    They're doing what in there?!

    The owner of the gas station also owned one in the sister community in the hills, about 2 miles up from the main one. I was working at the larger one with a co-worker and we're about ready to close the doors and go home (10pm). We weren't busy so I was talking to a homie who was working at the other station on the phone. He was telling me about how this one high school up there was having some big grad party with tons of chicks in tight tank-tops and they all came in to use the restroom. He had talked to them and found out that they had been drinking and were planning on going to a rave to celebrate.

    Since it is almost 10pm, our graveyard shift person came in to start her counts. Not the best looking of chicks but she was a nice girl and we would joke around. So I mention the story to her and she laughs a bit. As we're doing our counts, 4 sunburned, blonde chicks walk in. One comes up and pays for gas and asks for some cigs. I ask for ID and she checks out. Two of the other girls ask to use the restroom and they go on. The gy shift girl goes to the restroom as well to change into her uniform. I finish my counts and close the door and am working through the window.

    At that point, the gy shift girl comes back out and say "Ari, the stoner chicks are making out in the restroom, I think." I walk in the hallway and I hear crying and screaming. I tell her to open the door and see if they need help. My co-worker goes in (being a girl and all) and sees what she can do. It ends up that one girl starts to puke hardcore and that sends the second girl to go on a weird mind trip and she starts to freak out. I didn't want to call the COPs so I ask their other friends outside if they would mind to take their friends back. The other girls come in and carry puking girl away and bad-trip girl walks behind them. As I close the door, bad-trip girl looks back and say "thanks for everything you did" and flashes me her non-tits.

    Just another night.

    Arikado on
    BNet: Arikado#1153 | Steam | LoL: Anzen
  • Smug DucklingSmug Duckling Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Arikado wrote: »
    COPs

    Why are you capitalizing this word?

    Smug Duckling on
    smugduckling,pc,days.png
  • GlyphGlyph Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Last night I dreamed that an attractive girl was asleep on my couch with the TV on. She was a strawberry blond with freckles and a petite build. Battlestar Galactica was coming on soon so to spare her the noise, I picked her up and carried her to my room. After I placed her on the bed, she woke up and started acting disoriented. When I looked at my watch to see if Battlestar Galactica was on yet, she accused me of expecting my spouse to come home soon and that was the reason I moved her into my bedroom.

    She then grabbed a hammer and charged me. After I was finally able to wrestle her down, my father saw me and thought I was attacking her. So he pulled me off her during which she seized the opportunity and cracked him in the head with the claw end. My kid brother and I proceeded to grab some javelins and stab her in the neck. This was quite possibly the most horrifying dream I've had since I was forced to eat a flock of lambsters (lambs the size of hamsters).
    Arikado wrote: »
    COPs

    Why are you capitalizing this word?

    He thinks it's an acronym. It isn't.

    Glyph on
  • TarantioTarantio Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Glyph wrote: »
    Last night I dreamed that an attractive girl was asleep on my couch with the TV on. She was a strawberry blond with freckles and a petite build. Battlestar Galactica was coming on soon so to spare her the noise, I picked her up and carried her to my room. After I placed her on the bed, she woke up and started acting disoriented. When I looked at my watch to see if Battlestar Galactica was on yet, she accused me of expecting my spouse to come home soon and that was the reason I moved her into my bedroom.

    She then grabbed a hammer and charged me. After I was finally able to wrestle her down, my father saw me and thought I was attacking her. So he pulled me off her during which she seized the opportunity and cracked him in the head with the claw end. My kid brother and I proceeded to grab some javelins and stab her in the neck. This was quite possibly the most horrifying dream I've had since I was forced to eat a flock of lambsters (lambs the size of hamsters).

    Well, now I'm terrified.

    And I want a lambster for a pet.

    Not even going to go into speculation as to what could cause that dream, although I guess maybe if you've been eating old pizza, pickles and icecream that could explain it.

    Tarantio on
  • ArikadoArikado Southern CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Glyph wrote: »
    Last night I dreamed that an attractive girl was asleep on my couch with the TV on. She was a strawberry blond with freckles and a petite build. Battlestar Galactica was coming on soon so to spare her the noise, I picked her up and carried her to my room. After I placed her on the bed, she woke up and started acting disoriented. When I looked at my watch to see if Battlestar Galactica was on yet, she accused me of expecting my spouse to come home soon and that was the reason I moved her into my bedroom.

    She then grabbed a hammer and charged me. After I was finally able to wrestle her down, my father saw me and thought I was attacking her. So he pulled me off her during which she seized the opportunity and cracked him in the head with the claw end. My kid brother and I proceeded to grab some javelins and stab her in the neck. This was quite possibly the most horrifying dream I've had since I was forced to eat a flock of lambsters (lambs the size of hamsters).
    Arikado wrote: »
    COPs

    Why are you capitalizing this word?

    He thinks it's an acronym. It isn't.

    Citizens On Patrol
    lol police academy

    Arikado on
    BNet: Arikado#1153 | Steam | LoL: Anzen
  • UndefinedMonkeyUndefinedMonkey Registered User
    edited December 2007
    Glyph wrote: »
    Last night I dreamed that an attractive girl was asleep on my couch with the TV on. She was a strawberry blond with freckles and a petite build. Battlestar Galactica was coming on soon so to spare her the noise, I picked her up and carried her to my room. After I placed her on the bed, she woke up and started acting disoriented. When I looked at my watch to see if Battlestar Galactica was on yet, she accused me of expecting my spouse to come home soon and that was the reason I moved her into my bedroom.

    She then grabbed a hammer and charged me. After I was finally able to wrestle her down, my father saw me and thought I was attacking her. So he pulled me off her during which she seized the opportunity and cracked him in the head with the claw end. My kid brother and I proceeded to grab some javelins and stab her in the neck. This was quite possibly the most horrifying dream I've had since I was forced to eat a flock of lambsters (lambs the size of hamsters).
    Arikado wrote: »
    COPs

    Why are you capitalizing this word?

    He thinks it's an acronym. It isn't.

    C.O.P.S?

    edit: better link

    UndefinedMonkey on
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  • brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    So my brother just got a new radio for his car. This thing plays MP3s, has a USB port so you can plug a hard drive in, etc, etc. So he gave me his entire CD collection. So I decide to take a bunch of those CDs into work to help pass the day. Normally I use pandora but IT has been throttling my bandwidth so it gets kinda annoying after a while. So I am listening to a CD, its the norm our standard video game soundtrack stuff. My boss walks in and starts talking to me. Media Player goes to the next song. The first thing you hear is: DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE! DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE! Turns out he had also put NWA on this CD....So I scramble for the mute button. Too late the damage was done...talk about your awkward silences...

    The following day I decided to try another CD. I had first screened it make sure there was no more NWA or the like. So someone was in my office, we were talking yada yada yada. Then mid-song the song transitions from your standard techno type beat to really horrible J-Pop. I mean horrible, broken english galore. So now I'm under the impression that everyone at work either thinks that I am
    A: a gangster or B: a gay Japanese guy.

    brandotheninjamaster on
  • Double DeuceDouble Deuce Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Sounds like your brother is the gay Japanese gangster.

    Double Deuce on
  • senor_xsenor_x Registered User
    edited December 2007
    senor_x on
    Senor10.gif Wii 1490 9129 8407 5923
  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    senor_x wrote: »

    At first I thought that was a picture of one of those shower heads with a hose that you can move around.

    Like, one used for female masturbation.

    Shows where my mind is.

    Hi I'm Vee! on
    vRyue2p.png
  • brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    I was using headphones for a while, but I horrible time with them because they would make my ears itch something fierce. Since my coworker left (we shared an office), I thought why bother with these stupid headphones? Never thought I would get an answer to that question....

    brandotheninjamaster on
  • LifeVirusZEROLifeVirusZERO Registered User
    edited December 2007
    Sounds like your brother is the gay Japanese gangster.

    Hey... I resent that

    LifeVirusZERO on
    6ltl5i0ap7.png
  • brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Standing%20Gangster%20pg%208.jpg

    brandotheninjamaster on
  • VeeveeVeevee WisconsinRegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Sounds like your brother is the gay Japanese gangster.

    Hey... I resent that

    Brother of Brando, the gay japanese gangster, I presume. We've heard so much about you.

    And by a lot, I mean just your horrible taste in music.

    And by heard, I mean read.

    And by brother, I mean incestual japanese ganster.

    Veevee on
  • ErgandarErgandar Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    :winky:

    Strange and embarrassing forum moments regarding homosexual yakuza

    D:

    Ergandar on
    RachelSig.jpg
  • KungFuKungFu Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    I want a flock of lambsters.

    KungFu on
    Theft 4 Bread
  • BitstreamBitstream Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    KungFu wrote: »
    I want a flock of lambsters.

    Me too.

    They sound delicious.

    Bitstream on
  • TeeManTeeMan BrainSpoon Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    senor_x wrote: »

    At first I thought that was a picture of one of those shower heads with a hose that you can move around.

    Like, one used for female masturbation.

    Shows where my mind is.

    You know that pretty much everyone in France uses those? And they shower sitting down?

    Freaked the hell out of me, weirdos :P

    TeeMan on
    steam_sig.png
  • Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Glyph wrote: »
    This was quite possibly the most horrifying dream I've had since I was forced to eat a flock of lambsters (lambs the size of hamsters).

    Now this is odd. I've had a dream where I was eating hamster-sized lambs as well. ALthough I kept choking on their intestines, getting them stuck in my throat.

    Turns out my throat was REALLY fucking dry. Woke me up eventually.

    Undead Scottsman on
  • MutePrezMutePrez Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    TeeMan wrote: »
    senor_x wrote: »

    At first I thought that was a picture of one of those shower heads with a hose that you can move around.

    Like, one used for female masturbation.

    Shows where my mind is.

    You know that pretty much everyone in France uses those? And they shower sitting down?

    Freaked the hell out of me, weirdos :P

    Lies and slander

    MutePrez on
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited December 2007
    Christmas Day. Wearing my new For The Horde hooded sweatshirt. Sitting around the table in the kitchen, all my aunts/uncles/cousins talking it up. I take a drink of Dr. Pepper and it goes down the wrong pipe. I immediately go into "OMG, I'm going to cough with a mouth full of soda" panic. I cover my mouth to start and attempt to let the coughing occur through the nose. The first cough doesn't break the seal of my lips, air escaping through the nostrils. The second cough, on the other hand, had quite different results. I sprayed Dr. Pepper into my hands, which provided a barrier for the table immediately in front of me, but ricocheted the liquid in all directions perpendicular to forward. On to my new hoodie. On to the people sitting to my right and left. And straight up in the air, settling on my face/hair.

    The thing is, no one was actually looking at me when it happened. They all heard the noise (strange in itself) and looked over in time to see everything within 3 feet covered in a fine Dr. Pepper mist, prompting a lot of "what the hell just happened!?" questions. I just laughed and got some paper towels.

    jotate on
  • PicardathonPicardathon Registered User
    edited December 2007
    jotate wrote: »
    Christmas Day. Wearing my new For The Horde hooded sweatshirt. Sitting around the table in the kitchen, all my aunts/uncles/cousins talking it up. I take a drink of Dr. Pepper and it goes down the wrong pipe. I immediately go into "OMG, I'm going to cough with a mouth full of soda" panic. I cover my mouth to start and attempt to let the coughing occur through the nose. The first cough doesn't break the seal of my lips, air escaping through the nostrils. The second cough, on the other hand, had quite different results. I sprayed Dr. Pepper into my hands, which provided a barrier for the table immediately in front of me, but ricocheted the liquid in all directions perpendicular to forward. On to my new hoodie. On to the people sitting to my right and left. And straight up in the air, settling on my face/hair.

    The thing is, no one was actually looking at me when it happened. They all heard the noise (strange in itself) and looked over in time to see everything within 3 feet covered in a fine Dr. Pepper mist, prompting a lot of "what the hell just happened!?" questions. I just laughed and got some paper towels.

    I would read this but I'm entranced by your avatar.

    Picardathon on
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited December 2007
    I don't blame you. Took me like 20 minutes to figure out how to make it look that smooth. The time flew right by though, since it was spent staring into those gorgeous receptionist's eyes.

    jotate on
  • Mmmm... Cocks...Mmmm... Cocks... Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    jotate wrote: »
    I don't blame you. Took me like 20 minutes to figure out how to make it look that smooth. The time flew right by though, since it was spent staring into those gorgeous receptionist's eyes.
    Oh I'm glad I'm not the only one.
    It's the only reason I was convinced to see Walk Hard.

    Mmmm... Cocks... on
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    jotate wrote: »
    I don't blame you. Took me like 20 minutes to figure out how to make it look that smooth. The time flew right by though, since it was spent staring into those gorgeous receptionist's eyes.
    Oh I'm glad I'm not the only one.
    It's the only reason I was convinced to see Walk Hard.

    It's mezmerizing.

    Also, I admit it, I always thought it was "Jo-tate".

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • Toxic ToysToxic Toys Are you really taking my advice? Really?Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Last year, my wife's friends came ove. We all did a little drinking.

    I guess I blacked out because the next morning my wife told me that I told all of her friends but one how I would titie fuck them. In graphic detail.

    Toxic Toys on
    3DS code: 2938-6074-2306, Nintendo Network ID: ToxicToys, PSN: zutto
  • KungFuKungFu Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    ahahaha

    Toxic, all your stories are great.

    KungFu on
    Theft 4 Bread
  • PicardathonPicardathon Registered User
    edited December 2007
    Toxic Toys wrote: »
    Last year, my wife's friends came ove. We all did a little drinking.

    I guess I blacked out because the next morning my wife told me that I told all of her friends but one how I would titie fuck them. In graphic detail.

    At that point it moves past "a little drinking".
    Unless the lilttle you drank was rubbing alcohol.

    Picardathon on
  • TrevorTrevor Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Imagine how bad the one you didn't offer to titty-fuck must have felt.

    Trevor on
  • Toxic ToysToxic Toys Are you really taking my advice? Really?Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Trevor wrote: »
    Imagine how bad the one you didn't offer to titty-fuck must have felt.

    and that's what I embarrased about. She's the hottest, but has not tits.

    And I told her she had no tits.

    Toxic Toys on
    3DS code: 2938-6074-2306, Nintendo Network ID: ToxicToys, PSN: zutto
  • devoirdevoir Registered User
    edited December 2007
    The truth shall set you free.

    Or should that be, alcohol will set the truth free?

    devoir on
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    devoir wrote: »
    The truth shall set you free.

    Or should that be, alcohol will set the truth free?

    In vino veritas.

    AngelHedgie on
    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • LaOsLaOs SaskatoonRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    The truth will set you free and alcohol sets the truth free, so the path to freedom lies in alcohol.

    Drink up!

    LaOs on
  • ApathyKillsApathyKills __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    so I was really high and walking out of a gas station. and I see my friend courtney sitting in a parked car in front of the gas station. I was looking for more weed and generally she knows where I can get some so I walk up to the car and ask. she doesn't, but I feel it necessary to bring up the quality of the last bag i got from a friend of hers. I say without thinking "it was horrible. total n***** weed". yeah, she's black. I can imagine I looked like a frightened deer in headlights after it dawned on me a second later what I had said.

    I still have't been able to shake the feeling that I am a complete jackass. maybe that's because I am.

    ApathyKills on
    deleted courtesy orikae
  • CorlisCorlis Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    The truth will set your teeth free, if you say it to the wrong person.
    so I was really high and walking out of a gas station. and I see my friend courtney sitting in a parked car in front of the gas station. I was looking for more weed and generally she knows where I can get some so I walk up to the car and ask. she doesn't, but I feel it necessary to bring up the quality of the last bag i got from a friend of hers. I say without thinking "it was horrible. total n****r weed". yeah, she's black. I can imagine I looked like a frightened deer in headlights after it dawned on me a second later what I had said.

    I still have't been able to shake the feeling that I am a complete jackass. maybe that's because I am.
    Yeah, sometimes I catch myself saying utterly awful things in my head, but thankfully I speak slowly enough that I can cut myself off before I actually say tham D:

    Corlis on
    But I don't mind, as long as there's a bed beneath the stars that shine,
    I'll be fine, just give me a minute, a man's got a limit, I can't get a life if my heart's not in it.
  • ApathyKillsApathyKills __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    I'm sure I would have caught myself if I wasn't blazed out of my mind.

    ApathyKills on
    deleted courtesy orikae
  • DynagripDynagrip Rattlesnake on the trigger HoustonRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2008
    You're probably going to pick up an infraction for that anecdote.

    Dynagrip on
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