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Revenge of the Strange & Embarrassing Moments

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Posts

  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    There IS a condition called sexsomnia.

    Also known as "And that, Your Honor, is why I'm not guilty of rape-ilitis."

    Falx on
  • AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    "BE SURE NOT TO USE THE STICKY SIDE!"

    This is my new motto.

    As it should be.

    AlyceInWonderland on
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited January 2008
    Me, my roommate, and his girlfriend went to the bar tonight. The seating arrangement was [roommate's g/f], [roommate], [me]. She was looking at pictures in her wallet. She had one from a rollercoaster she'd ridden a couple years ago and she showed it to my roommate. He nodded approvingly and passed the picture to me. I saw that, in the picture, she was wearing a bikini. I said quietly to my roommate "Why is she naked?" He responded quietly "Because she's a slut." And we both laughed knowing she didn't hear him say that. I responded quietly "Eh, I've seen better." We both laughed knowing she didn't hear me say that.

    Suddenly, she spun her head around and said "What did you say!?" I exclaimed "Oh come on, you heard that!?" She said "What the hell do you mean you've seen better?" It was at this point, I realized she was starring right at my roommate, thinking he had said it. :lol:

    It was funny until it was cleared up and my roommate in his inebriated state decided that he was pissed at her for assuming it was him that had said it. He was a little bitch for the rest of the night. Well, it was less funny for them. Still pretty god damn funny for me.

    jotate on
  • SpaceGhostSpaceGhost Registered User
    edited January 2008
    One friend was watching the most recent season of Big Brother , and his favorite character was Dick, who was kind of a Tommy Lee wannabe. Once when the show cut to commercial, my friend leans forward to all of us and says "I Looove Dick!"



    Also, another friend was playing Halo 3 online and melee killed a guy riding a jeep, to which he yelled "I Love beating guys off"

    SpaceGhost on
  • SmasherSmasher Starting to get dizzy Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Oh, that reminds me of one from a long time ago. I was playing Wayne Gretzky's Hockey on the N64 with my brother and his friend, and we were talking about our preferred methods for taking people out. My brother says "I'm a tripper!" and his friend replies with "I'm a checker!"


    Following the pattern, I happily proclaim "I'm a hooker!"

    Smasher on
  • ins0mniacins0mniac Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    That Hooker comment doesn't quite ring the same to me, but that might be because I played rugby. Hooker is a forward position in rugby, and the name comes from the fact they they are the ones who try to hook the ball with their foot when it's thrown into the scrum in order to get posession. My roommate was our hooker, as a matter of fact.

    Maybe that does sound a bit... wrong. :P

    ins0mniac on
    X-Box Live Gamertag: Merciless319
  • RohaqRohaq Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    ins0mniac wrote: »
    That Hooker comment doesn't quite ring the same to me, but that might be because I played rugby. Hooker is a forward position in rugby, and the name comes from the fact they they are the ones who try to hook the ball with their foot when it's thrown into the scrum in order to get posession. My roommate was our hooker, as a matter of fact.

    Maybe that does sound a bit... wrong. :P
    Additionally, some of the people who are hookers probably won't appreciate the joke quite as much as some of you do, and may hurt you ;-)

    Rohaq on
  • SmasherSmasher Starting to get dizzy Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Rohaq wrote: »
    ins0mniac wrote: »
    That Hooker comment doesn't quite ring the same to me, but that might be because I played rugby. Hooker is a forward position in rugby, and the name comes from the fact they they are the ones who try to hook the ball with their foot when it's thrown into the scrum in order to get posession. My roommate was our hooker, as a matter of fact.

    Maybe that does sound a bit... wrong. :P
    Additionally, some of the people who are hookers probably won't appreciate the joke quite as much as some of you do, and may hurt you ;-)

    I was about 12 years old at the time, so with that context I think even real hookers might get a laugh out of it. :P

    Smasher on
  • logogoglogogog Registered User
    edited January 2008
    I was 9 or 10 at the time. This was when I was starting to like girls, but not really. My dad had gotten a new computer for his office, and the old one went to my room. I was looking around on it and things, and it turns out good old dad forgot to delete his porn collection. I find it, open the video, and are confronted with topless women and loud music. My mom walks in. Awkwardness ensues.

    logogog on
    I once saw a girl who I was so insanely attracted to that I wanted to get the opposite of a restraining order on her.- Stephen Wright
  • CorlisCorlis Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    logogog wrote: »
    I was 9 or 10 at the time. This was when I was starting to like girls, but not really. My dad had gotten a new computer for his office, and the old one went to my room. I was looking around on it and things, and it turns out good old dad forgot to delete his porn collection. I find it, open the video, and are confronted with topless women and loud music. My mom walks in. Awkwardness ensues.
    The only way that could be worse is if it were your dad's homemade porn.

    Corlis on
    But I don't mind, as long as there's a bed beneath the stars that shine,
    I'll be fine, just give me a minute, a man's got a limit, I can't get a life if my heart's not in it.
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited January 2008
    Corlis wrote: »
    logogog wrote: »
    I was 9 or 10 at the time. This was when I was starting to like girls, but not really. My dad had gotten a new computer for his office, and the old one went to my room. I was looking around on it and things, and it turns out good old dad forgot to delete his porn collection. I find it, open the video, and are confronted with topless women and loud music. My mom walks in. Awkwardness ensues.
    The only way that could be worse is if it were your dad's homemade gay porn.

    jotate on
  • Rabid_LlamaRabid_Llama Registered User
    edited January 2008
    Corlis wrote: »
    logogog wrote: »
    I was 9 or 10 at the time. This was when I was starting to like girls, but not really. My dad had gotten a new computer for his office, and the old one went to my room. I was looking around on it and things, and it turns out good old dad forgot to delete his porn collection. I find it, open the video, and are confronted with topless women and loud music. My mom walks in. Awkwardness ensues.
    The only way that could be worse is if it were your dad's homemade porn.

    I knew a guy in middle school who stumbled upon a bunch of homemade videos of his dad and various girlfriends his dad had had doing it. I don't know where that kid is now, but I imagine he is pretty screwed up because of it.

    Rabid_Llama on
    /sig
    The+Rabid+Llama.png
  • SmasherSmasher Starting to get dizzy Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Corlis wrote: »
    logogog wrote: »
    I was 9 or 10 at the time. This was when I was starting to like girls, but not really. My dad had gotten a new computer for his office, and the old one went to my room. I was looking around on it and things, and it turns out good old dad forgot to delete his porn collection. I find it, open the video, and are confronted with topless women and loud music. My mom walks in. Awkwardness ensues.
    The only way that could be worse is if it were your dad's homemade porn.

    I knew a guy in middle school who stumbled upon a bunch of homemade videos of his dad and various girlfriends his dad had had doing it. I don't know where that kid is now, but I imagine he is pretty screwed up because of it.

    Eh. A lot of people walk in on their parents getting it on at some point, and they seem to cope alright. It's not like having girl/boyfriends before your spouse is considered shameful or anything.

    Smasher on
  • Triple BTriple B Bastard of the North MARegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Smasher wrote: »
    Corlis wrote: »
    logogog wrote: »
    I was 9 or 10 at the time. This was when I was starting to like girls, but not really. My dad had gotten a new computer for his office, and the old one went to my room. I was looking around on it and things, and it turns out good old dad forgot to delete his porn collection. I find it, open the video, and are confronted with topless women and loud music. My mom walks in. Awkwardness ensues.
    The only way that could be worse is if it were your dad's homemade porn.

    I knew a guy in middle school who stumbled upon a bunch of homemade videos of his dad and various girlfriends his dad had had doing it. I don't know where that kid is now, but I imagine he is pretty screwed up because of it.

    Eh. A lot of people walk in on their parents getting it on at some point, and they seem to cope alright. It's not like having girl/boyfriends before your spouse is considered shameful or anything.

    Man, I don't know where you came from, but I would've been seven kinds of fucked up if I ever had the misfortune of observing either or both of my parents on the job.

    Triple B on
    Steam/XBL/PSN: FiveAgainst1
  • SmasherSmasher Starting to get dizzy Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Triple B wrote: »
    Smasher wrote: »
    Corlis wrote: »
    logogog wrote: »
    I was 9 or 10 at the time. This was when I was starting to like girls, but not really. My dad had gotten a new computer for his office, and the old one went to my room. I was looking around on it and things, and it turns out good old dad forgot to delete his porn collection. I find it, open the video, and are confronted with topless women and loud music. My mom walks in. Awkwardness ensues.
    The only way that could be worse is if it were your dad's homemade porn.

    I knew a guy in middle school who stumbled upon a bunch of homemade videos of his dad and various girlfriends his dad had had doing it. I don't know where that kid is now, but I imagine he is pretty screwed up because of it.

    Eh. A lot of people walk in on their parents getting it on at some point, and they seem to cope alright. It's not like having girl/boyfriends before your spouse is considered shameful or anything.

    Man, I don't know where you came from, but I would've been seven kinds of fucked up if I ever had the misfortune of observing either or both of my parents on the job.

    Really, it's just sex. It's one thing to not want to see your parents going at it, but being mentally traumatized by it is just ridiculous. You exist, after all.

    Smasher on
  • brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    So I am a fan lowbrow humor, I can't help it. Fart jokes just make me laugh uncontrollably. So I was in the bathroom "conducting business" (if ya know what I mean), and this person takes the stall next to me. He drops about the loudest duce ever. I could contain my laughter at that point. But then I started thinking about Harold and Kumar go to White Castle and the whole "battle shits thing" (that movie has scarred me for life) and couldn't help but laugh...quickly I got a hold of myself. Just so happens me and the other dude finished at the same time...and it was my boss...and D: <--- a lot. Yeah..talk about awkward. We have never discussed that incident or intend to...

    brandotheninjamaster on
  • LineNoizLineNoiz Registered User
    edited January 2008
    jotate wrote: »
    Corlis wrote: »
    logogog wrote: »
    I was 9 or 10 at the time. This was when I was starting to like girls, but not really. My dad had gotten a new computer for his office, and the old one went to my room. I was looking around on it and things, and it turns out good old dad forgot to delete his porn collection. I find it, open the video, and are confronted with topless women and loud music. My mom walks in. Awkwardness ensues.
    The only way that could be worse is if it were your dad's homemade gay porn.
    This.

    This is how I found out my dad is gay.

    Except it was a drawer full of Polaroids and not on a computer.

    :shudder:

    Edit:

    "Oh, pictures, neat. Who is that guy? :flip: Well that guy is my dad :flip: OH GOD THAT'S MY DAD NAKED"

    LineNoiz on
  • ArgusArgus Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    LineNoiz wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    Corlis wrote: »
    logogog wrote: »
    I was 9 or 10 at the time. This was when I was starting to like girls, but not really. My dad had gotten a new computer for his office, and the old one went to my room. I was looking around on it and things, and it turns out good old dad forgot to delete his porn collection. I find it, open the video, and are confronted with topless women and loud music. My mom walks in. Awkwardness ensues.
    The only way that could be worse is if it were your dad's homemade gay porn.
    This.

    This is how I found out my dad is gay.

    Except it was a drawer full of Polaroids and not on a computer.

    :shudder:

    Edit:

    "Oh, pictures, neat. Who is that guy? :flip: Well that guy is my dad :flip: OH GOD THAT'S MY DAD NAKED"

    How did that work out with your mom?

    Argus on
  • DarkWarriorDarkWarrior __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    Argus wrote: »
    LineNoiz wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    Corlis wrote: »
    logogog wrote: »
    I was 9 or 10 at the time. This was when I was starting to like girls, but not really. My dad had gotten a new computer for his office, and the old one went to my room. I was looking around on it and things, and it turns out good old dad forgot to delete his porn collection. I find it, open the video, and are confronted with topless women and loud music. My mom walks in. Awkwardness ensues.
    The only way that could be worse is if it were your dad's homemade gay porn.
    This.

    This is how I found out my dad is gay.

    Except it was a drawer full of Polaroids and not on a computer.

    :shudder:

    Edit:

    "Oh, pictures, neat. Who is that guy? :flip: Well that guy is my dad :flip: OH GOD THAT'S MY DAD NAKED"

    How did that work out with your mom?

    You think photos take themselves?

    DarkWarrior on
  • LineNoizLineNoiz Registered User
    edited January 2008
    Argus wrote: »
    LineNoiz wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    Corlis wrote: »
    logogog wrote: »
    I was 9 or 10 at the time. This was when I was starting to like girls, but not really. My dad had gotten a new computer for his office, and the old one went to my room. I was looking around on it and things, and it turns out good old dad forgot to delete his porn collection. I find it, open the video, and are confronted with topless women and loud music. My mom walks in. Awkwardness ensues.
    The only way that could be worse is if it were your dad's homemade gay porn.
    This.

    This is how I found out my dad is gay.

    Except it was a drawer full of Polaroids and not on a computer.

    :shudder:

    Edit:

    "Oh, pictures, neat. Who is that guy? :flip: Well that guy is my dad :flip: OH GOD THAT'S MY DAD NAKED"

    How did that work out with your mom?
    My parents divorced when I was 5 on account of my dad telling her she needs more cock. This was kept secret from me until I found these pictures when I was 12ish, which led to a very awkward couple of weeks.
    You think photos take themselves?
    They "took turns" with the camera. And used the mirror on my dad's dresser... :(

    LineNoiz on
  • brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    LineNoiz wrote: »
    Argus wrote: »
    LineNoiz wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    Corlis wrote: »
    logogog wrote: »
    I was 9 or 10 at the time. This was when I was starting to like girls, but not really. My dad had gotten a new computer for his office, and the old one went to my room. I was looking around on it and things, and it turns out good old dad forgot to delete his porn collection. I find it, open the video, and are confronted with topless women and loud music. My mom walks in. Awkwardness ensues.
    The only way that could be worse is if it were your dad's homemade gay porn.
    This.

    This is how I found out my dad is gay.

    Except it was a drawer full of Polaroids and not on a computer.

    :shudder:

    Edit:

    "Oh, pictures, neat. Who is that guy? :flip: Well that guy is my dad :flip: OH GOD THAT'S MY DAD NAKED"

    How did that work out with your mom?
    My parents divorced when I was 5 on account of my dad telling her she needs more cock. This was kept secret from me until I found these pictures when I was 12ish, which led to a very awkward couple of weeks.

    Wow. This trumps my story of finding out I was adopted when I was 16. I just can't imagine how awkward that must have been.

    brandotheninjamaster on
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    My parents divorced when I was 5 on account of my dad telling her she needs more cock. This was kept secret from me until I found these pictures when I was 12ish, which led to a very awkward couple of weeks.

    I assume you meant "on account of my dad telling her that he needs more cock."?

    Or did he really just feel that she needed to experience a few more varieties of pipe in her time on Earth?

    Either would be a strange conversation to have with ones spouse.

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • YodaTunaYodaTuna Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Forar wrote: »
    My parents divorced when I was 5 on account of my dad telling her she needs more cock. This was kept secret from me until I found these pictures when I was 12ish, which led to a very awkward couple of weeks.

    I assume you meant "on account of my dad telling her that he needs more cock."?

    Maybe, since he was gay, there wasn't any boning going on, it was her who needed more cock.

    YodaTuna on
  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Forar wrote: »
    My parents divorced when I was 5 on account of my dad telling her she needs more cock. This was kept secret from me until I found these pictures when I was 12ish, which led to a very awkward couple of weeks.

    I assume you meant "on account of my dad telling her that he needs more cock."?

    Or did he really just feel that she needed to experience a few more varieties of pipe in her time on Earth?

    Either would be a strange conversation to have with ones spouse.

    I think he meant that she needs more cock on her person. As in, she needs to stop having a vagina and grow a cock, dammit.

    Hi I'm Vee! on
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited January 2008
    LineNoiz wrote: »
    You think photos take themselves?
    They "took turns" with the camera. And used the mirror on my dad's dresser... :(

    Hmm, I bought some new bedroom furniture this weekend. One of the dressers came with a mirror. My roommates told me a mirror on the dresser is kinda gay. I've been telling them to fuck themselves and intended on just attaching it anyway. Maybe they were right. D:

    jotate on
  • LineNoizLineNoiz Registered User
    edited January 2008
    Forar wrote: »
    My parents divorced when I was 5 on account of my dad telling her she needs more cock. This was kept secret from me until I found these pictures when I was 12ish, which led to a very awkward couple of weeks.

    I assume you meant "on account of my dad telling her that he needs more cock."?

    Or did he really just feel that she needed to experience a few more varieties of pipe in her time on Earth?

    Either would be a strange conversation to have with ones spouse.

    I think he meant that she needs more cock on her person. As in, she needs to stop having a vagina and grow a cock, dammit.
    Yes, that

    LineNoiz on
  • DarkWarriorDarkWarrior __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    LineNoiz wrote: »
    Argus wrote: »
    LineNoiz wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    Corlis wrote: »
    logogog wrote: »
    I was 9 or 10 at the time. This was when I was starting to like girls, but not really. My dad had gotten a new computer for his office, and the old one went to my room. I was looking around on it and things, and it turns out good old dad forgot to delete his porn collection. I find it, open the video, and are confronted with topless women and loud music. My mom walks in. Awkwardness ensues.
    The only way that could be worse is if it were your dad's homemade gay porn.
    This.

    This is how I found out my dad is gay.

    Except it was a drawer full of Polaroids and not on a computer.

    :shudder:

    Edit:

    "Oh, pictures, neat. Who is that guy? :flip: Well that guy is my dad :flip: OH GOD THAT'S MY DAD NAKED"

    How did that work out with your mom?
    My parents divorced when I was 5 on account of my dad telling her she needs more cock. This was kept secret from me until I found these pictures when I was 12ish, which led to a very awkward couple of weeks.
    You think photos take themselves?
    They "took turns" with the camera. And used the mirror on my dad's dresser... :(

    The worst part of growing up is finding out your parents just don't play nice like you thought they did as a kid and dealing with their weird, personal shit.

    DarkWarrior on
  • SquabmanSquabman Registered User
    edited January 2008
    I work at UPS as a loader and I work the nightshift.. now one thing about the nightshift is that if you eat a big dinner and then start loading a truck your stomach starts to get a bit squiffy due to all the squatting and bending and picking up heavy boxes. So ofcourse the urge to take a massive thunderdump hits me pretty hard and I head to the good ole shitbox. When I break into the bathroom I scout it out to find theres only 1 person in there. He takes a piss and finally leaves, so I drop my drawers and start "giving it the business". Now I was really opening up the floodgates and belting it out to the backseats, which is normally something I would never do in a public place. But I had no choice... Apparently during my extreme flatulence someone had snuck into the bathroom just in time to hear my symphony of destruction. Suddenly I hear a deep voice "yeah, theres nothing better than taking a dump on the clock".. The shock of knowing there was someone there who just listened to my acts of sin makes me freak out and just respond in terror with "yeah there is, not having someone talk to you when you are taking a dump on the clock.. FUCK".

    Eventually when I hear the door close from outside the stall I pull up my pants, wash my hands and leave hoping that the person did not see me exit..

    As I walk down the stairs that lead down from the bathroom I see the Night Sort Manager of the entire UPS building standing there talking to a fellow supervisor. Now this guy is my bosses bosses boss to the nth degree. He is the big show (and is around 6'10 and huge). So as I walk by him trying to keep my composure he turns to me and says "i'm glad to see you made it out of there alive, I was worried for a second"

    fuck..

    no, fuck.

    Luckily after my initial embarassment we got to talking and I now play Call of Duty online with him on a regular basis.. Sometimes beautiful things happen as a result of dropping a mad filthy.

    Squabman on
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited January 2008
    Squab, you write in such a way that I would buy your poop mini-stories on a weekly basis.

    jotate on
  • desperaterobotsdesperaterobots perth, ausRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    This is second hand and originates from my housemate, so full credit to him:

    After being married for a year, he finally told his wife he was gay.

    Her response: "So that's why we only had sex when you were really drunk."

    A year earlier, at the wedding reception, the opening line of his brothers speech: "And you guys all thought he was gay!"

    desperaterobots on
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    That's never a good sign

    how many gay marriages do you think end with 'turns out I was straight!'

    Casual Eddy on
  • FuzzFuzz Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Still half-way through reading this but decided that shouldn't stop me from posting. My friends have labeled me one of the most awkward people on the planet. As you can probably guess I have several stories of varying embarrassing-ness.

    Number 1 (this happened last week)

    So I live in my parents' old house with my older sister. It's a 5 bedroom house in a nice neighborhood so we feel like spoiled rich kids and it rocks and it's awesome. Anyway, I use two of the bathrooms on my side of the house. Mostly because one is right next to my room which makes it easy for fast business deals, but the shower drain in that one is clogged, so I take my showers in the other bathroom and whatever deals that need to be made around the time of the shower.

    Anyway, my younger sister lives in an apartment with three hot roommates and this day I come home from work to find my younger sister and one of her hot roommates watching tv on the couch. I say hello blah blah/mention I smell funny and get in the bathroom with the working shower.

    I do some "fast exporting deals" and then hop in the shower and do my thing. Dry off, get dressed. 'Nuff said.

    About three hours later I'm in my room and my sister comes in through the door holding in laughter. She asks me which bathroom I use to do my business. Her roommate comes up behind her...

    red faced.

    I say both. My sister instantly bursts out laughing and waves her hand in a "follow me" gesture and guides me to the bathroom I had showered in.

    She tells me that her roommate was going to use the bathroom but then ran out when she saw *drumroll*

    I hadn't flushed.

    Two big floaters.

    Her roommate remained silent for the remainder of the night.


    Number 2!

    This one happened while I was in 8th grade, so around the age of 13. For starters I had a crush on this girl who was in at least all of my classes, including band. Our school band had a performance night at the local university (UF!! WHOO!) and after our band's performance was done we were told to do whatever except interfere with the bands that were playing. Obviously this meant explore this old building.

    I was walking around following some friends/band mates and we all walked into an elevator. My crush was on-board.

    I'm standing right next to her and she looks around and then says "3 guys, 3 girls." Pointing out that the elevator was full of three guys and three girls. Insinuating you know what. Oh yeah!

    Me being really awkward at this age and wanting to seem cool uttered the first thing that popped into my head *bad idea*

    I said, "That's not funny."

    Everyone stared at me and my crush goes "It wasn't supposed to be funny.."

    Panic sets in. I have to do something or else I'll come off as a total loser. Again, I say the first thing that pops into my head.

    "Oh, uhh... not that. This joke in my head I was thinking of.."

    My crush just stared at me.

    Longest elevator ride ever.


    I have several others, but I think I'm going to sleep now.

    Fuzz on
  • SquabmanSquabman Registered User
    edited January 2008
    jotate wrote: »
    Squab, you write in such a way that I would buy your poop mini-stories on a weekly basis.

    you can signup for my newsletter Fecal Weeklyâ„¢

    but its not weekly, its actually daily.. unless I eat alot of cheese.

    I actually have alot of poop mini-stories.. if I combine them all maybe I can get a really crappy Homerian epic. (pun intended)

    Squabman on
  • SamiSami Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Who doesn't flush? That's just gross.

    Sami on
  • SquabmanSquabman Registered User
    edited January 2008
    Sami wrote: »
    Who doesn't flush? That's just gross.

    I flush out of pure reaction and habit, but if something grabs my attention at the wrong time I can forget to flush because I thought I already did.. when I catch it, its like.. "gross, I thought I flushed that.. .. oh look, its a Jesus face"

    Squabman on
  • SamiSami Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    No excuses for barbarism, Squab. No excuses.

    Sami on
  • SquabmanSquabman Registered User
    edited January 2008
    Sami wrote: »
    No excuses for barbarism, Squab. No excuses.

    but if barbarism leads to a deuce thats shaped like a Jesus face, maybe its not barbarism but instead.. divine intervention

    no, no... you're right.. its just plain gross

    Squabman on
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited January 2008
    Yeah, if I flush out of order from my usual procedure, I will usually end up flushing again once the pants are buttoned. Even if the toilet's still making noise and refilling, it's just a reflex.

    jotate on
  • Sword_of_LightSword_of_Light Registered User
    edited January 2008
    I dont have much in the way of embarrasing moments, because, see, one of the great things about being me is I dont have to give a damn unless I want to. I can be embarrased, but its difficult, and even if you're successful, I can usually hide it. Usually.

    I was in Texas many years ago, with my friend Jenny - we were gonna go out and play pool at this place she knew. She brought her roomate and a third woman - so, its me (a guy) and three women - sadly, no, this tale does not go in that direction. No, it goes to a Texas-style pool hall . This is nothing like the dim, smoke-filled place I used to go to in Christopher Sq. in NYC, no, this place is well-lit, huge, and if the clientel isnt wearing a John Deere or Dallas Cowboys ballcap they're in an actual cowboy hat.
    The girls, seeing an opportunity to gang up on a lone male, have been giving me shit all night. So its my shot, I've got a good one, but its going to require a bit of stretching.....and as I'm leaning over the table, one of the women sticks her pool que beween my legs and gives me a gentle tap.
    I
    YELP!

    and every single person in the pool hall turns and looks at me.
    The girls are literally falling over each other laughing, and I am fire-engine red.

    Sword_of_Light on
    "I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. "
  • VeeveeVeevee WisconsinRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    As a kid I grew up in an apartment where if the toilet was flushed the shower temp would go to ice. Because of this, and my body's need to use the toilet before showering, and my inherent ability of getting up at the last minute to get everything done if rushed, I often used the toilet while letting the shower warm up (took up to 5 minutes sometimes) but then had to let the mess sit in the toilet (lid closed) and flush after the shower. I rarely forgot, but there were times I forgot to flush after stepping out of the shower.

    I usually successfully moved the blame on to my younger brother and sister like any good big brother.

    Veevee on
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