There is this book series about living spaceships, al capone coming back from the dead and the dead conquering the galaxy
It has the most awfully awful sex scenes ever, like written by a 14 year old
"oooh" she murmered as his penis was put in her vagina, making wet noises
That'd be http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Night%27s_Dawn_Trilogy I guess. I sorta like his ideas for the future, but yeah, the sex scenes are annoying. (It gets better/worse in other books too, where there is this faction that believes cloning yourself and then sharing consciousness is the bestest idea ever, and one girl "dates"one of these "multiples". oooooooh yeaaaaaaah.
JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
edited August 2008
Neal Stephenson writes some pretty terrible sex scenes. But judging by the general atmosphere of the Baroque Cycle, I can never tell how much of that is intentional.
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Bloods EndBlade of TyshallePunch dimensionRegistered Userregular
Neal Stephenson writes some pretty terrible sex scenes. But judging by the general atmosphere of the Baroque Cycle, I can never tell how much of that is intentional.
he writes pretty terrible women characters. they're pretty much just cum dumpsters
I actually quite like his books. The most recent, Black Man, especially; almost PKD good.
But the porno scenes are just porno scenes.
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Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
edited August 2008
I've read all of the Song of Ice and Fire books a couple times and I can't think of any of the sex scenes. I must have automatically put in a mental block.
Neal Stephenson writes some pretty terrible sex scenes. But judging by the general atmosphere of the Baroque Cycle, I can never tell how much of that is intentional.
he writes pretty terrible women characters. they're pretty much just cum dumpsters
y. t. was not a cum dumpster
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Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
edited August 2008
I'm just glad China Mieville isn't descriptive in any of the sex scenes in Perdido Street Station. I'm not sure I want to read too much about a man having sex with a chick with a bug head.
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JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
Neal Stephenson writes some pretty terrible sex scenes. But judging by the general atmosphere of the Baroque Cycle, I can never tell how much of that is intentional.
he writes pretty terrible women characters. they're pretty much just cum dumpsters
y. t. was not a cum dumpster
Yeah, I'm not sure I agree with that in general. Amy Shaftoe was a pretty strong character, and sex was really only one aspect of Eliza's character. Which is more than you can say for most fictional harem girls.
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DynagripBreak me a million heartsHoustonRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Neal Stephenson writes some pretty terrible sex scenes. But judging by the general atmosphere of the Baroque Cycle, I can never tell how much of that is intentional.
he writes pretty terrible women characters. they're pretty much just cum dumpsters
y. t. was not a cum dumpster
uh huh. pray tell how did she defeat the big bad inuit? or how much of the book did she talk about wanting to ride some dude's cock?
Neal Stephenson writes some pretty terrible sex scenes. But judging by the general atmosphere of the Baroque Cycle, I can never tell how much of that is intentional.
he writes pretty terrible women characters. they're pretty much just cum dumpsters
y. t. was not a cum dumpster
Yeah, I'm not sure I agree with that in general. Amy Shaftoe was a pretty strong character, and sex was really only one aspect of Eliza's character. Which is more than you can say for most fictional harem girls.
Amy Shaftoe did nothing in that book except serve as a target for Unix guy's dick.
Oh, wait. I've got a winner.
The sex scenes between anthropomorphised moles in Horwood's Duncton Wood.
I'd quote them, but I have no desire to revisit those mental scars.
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Bloods EndBlade of TyshallePunch dimensionRegistered Userregular
edited August 2008
I like the way Steve Erickson does sex scenes. He tells you they're happening and then moves on.
Also the "sex" scene in Matthew Stover's "Heroes Die" was hilarious. Dude just starts fingering the owner of a bar while she keeps thinking "At least he isn't tearing the place up".
Neal Stephenson writes some pretty terrible sex scenes. But judging by the general atmosphere of the Baroque Cycle, I can never tell how much of that is intentional.
he writes pretty terrible women characters. they're pretty much just cum dumpsters
y. t. was not a cum dumpster
uh huh. pray tell how did she defeat the big bad inuit? or how much of the book did she talk about wanting to ride some dude's cock?
yeah, i guess she did defeat raven with her vagina, but i don't really remember that book very well. it's been a long time
I've read all of the Song of Ice and Fire books a couple times and I can't think of any of the sex scenes. I must have automatically put in a mental block.
Did you just skip every Tyrion and Cersei chapter then?
I've read all of the Song of Ice and Fire books a couple times and I can't think of any of the sex scenes. I must have automatically put in a mental block.
Did you just skip every Tyrion and Cersei chapter then?
No, I just mentally blocked them so therefore I have no recollection of it ever happening.
Michael Crichton wrote a few absolutely absurd sex scenes into some of his books
The only one I remember was in some silly book about a high-powered executive getting an unsolicited blowjob from his boss
Disclosure. I read that book when I was 15 because I thought Jurassic Park and Congo were awesome books so it was going to be awesome too. I was wrong.
Terrible movie too.
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DynagripBreak me a million heartsHoustonRegistered User, ClubPAregular
edited August 2008
ha, I loved Crichton when I was 15 too. God, I read such shit back then.
Ha ha, oh god. I'd almost forgotten about Xanth. God bless that old perv. Writing books at a twelve-year-old level and then stuffing them with awkward interspecies sexual tension.
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DynagripBreak me a million heartsHoustonRegistered User, ClubPAregular
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Yeah it should!
But it doesn't.
Hurrah - bit by bit we're taking back the empire.
We're starting with 'humour'.
Oh god yes
And it only gets worse when you start throwing in lesbian princesses.
Curses, too slow!
Fixed
Or indeed anything by that author.
seriously, how does he write that without laughing or at least giggling like a pre teen watching scrambled porn.
Double fixed
fucking hate Richard Morgan
he writes pretty terrible women characters. they're pretty much just cum dumpsters
But the porno scenes are just porno scenes.
y. t. was not a cum dumpster
Yeah, I'm not sure I agree with that in general. Amy Shaftoe was a pretty strong character, and sex was really only one aspect of Eliza's character. Which is more than you can say for most fictional harem girls.
uh huh. pray tell how did she defeat the big bad inuit? or how much of the book did she talk about wanting to ride some dude's cock?
Amy Shaftoe did nothing in that book except serve as a target for Unix guy's dick.
The sex scenes between anthropomorphised moles in Horwood's Duncton Wood.
I'd quote them, but I have no desire to revisit those mental scars.
Also the "sex" scene in Matthew Stover's "Heroes Die" was hilarious. Dude just starts fingering the owner of a bar while she keeps thinking "At least he isn't tearing the place up".
yeah, i guess she did defeat raven with her vagina, but i don't really remember that book very well. it's been a long time
Did you just skip every Tyrion and Cersei chapter then?
Piers Antony.
No, I just mentally blocked them so therefore I have no recollection of it ever happening.
pretty much
The only one I remember was in some silly book about a high-powered executive getting an unsolicited blowjob from his boss
Disclosure. I read that book when I was 15 because I thought Jurassic Park and Congo were awesome books so it was going to be awesome too. I was wrong.
Terrible movie too.
Star Trek: TNG novels. So many of them!
I still contend that it is one of the worst movies ever made though.
Ha ha, oh god. I'd almost forgotten about Xanth. God bless that old perv. Writing books at a twelve-year-old level and then stuffing them with awkward interspecies sexual tension.
i read every clive cussler book i could get my hands on back in the day
those were pretty bad
not even good-bad, like an awesome pulp or anything
About 10 more have been released since. I don't have the heart for it any more.
so terrible
There was an actual list of people waiting to read it. Just for the sex scene.
I swear this would not have happened in a mixed sex school.