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Crazy Professor Email

SamSam Registered User regular
edited February 2009 in Social Entropy++
This is real. I wish I could say he was my professor, but unfortunately only my friend is in his class.
Check out this absolutely crazy email i got from my English Professor, i don't know if he was high when he wrote this or what, but it is fucking crazy man!

[name removed]

Original Message
From: [REMOVED]
Sent: Thu 2/26/2009 9:48 AM
To: ENGL209 (75291) Sp09 - DL
Subject: No class Thursday, March 5

Hey folks, because of flight scheduling problems, I won't be able to make it to class next Thursday, March 5th.

While I'm sure this is a crushing disappointment for everyone, I know you will soon accept my decision and maybe one day even understand why I have to go away. No, no, don't cry. I'll be back the next Tuesday, and things will be just like they were. We'll laugh and play catch, and I'll buy you a puppy, a little, brown puppy, so cute! You can name him if you like, but you'll have to learn responsibility. You'll walk him and feed him, and puppies aren't always so small and cute. Don't listen to what your mother says about me. She can't be trusted. You're the man of the house now. Go play with your sister. Daddy's tired now. How about bringing Daddy a drink.

[Name Removed]

It's somewhat edifying to note that this guy is moving from our state school to UPenn next semester.

Sam on
«13

Posts

  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    that's awesome

    Faricazy on
  • Anime OwnsAnime Owns Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    seems like a cool dude,

    Anime Owns on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I have a hard time believing he is an English Professor

    Fiz on
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  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    wanna meet that professor

    #pipe on
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  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Fiz wrote: »
    I have a hard time believing he is an English Professor
    true

    a proper english professor would be too drunk to write a coherent email

    Faricazy on
  • LockoutLockout I am still searching Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    i wish i had professors like that

    Lockout on
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  • Airking850Airking850 Ottawa, ONRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I had a prof in first year that told us a story about how he made his own moonshine and had some on Christmas Eve, then the next thing he knew he was standing in the middle of a street holding a Christmas tree with no idea how he got there or whose tree it was.

    He was a pretty rad prof.

    Airking850 on
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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Had a professor who once waxed poetic about how he could smoke marijuana with students on campus back in the 70s.

    DarkPrimus on
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  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    That isn't "crazy" so much as "pretty awesome"

    Poorochondriac on
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2009
    Fiz wrote: »
    I have a hard time believing he is an English Professor

    I have a very easy time believing he is an English Professor.

    Munkus Beaver on
    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
  • DavoidDavoid Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    He kind of reminds me of my microbio professor, who put things like this on our exam review:

    "Don't worry too much about Phenol-Red Carbohydrate tests, Indole, Methyl-Red Voges-Proskauer, Citrate, ect. I don't like that stuff much. I like looking at bugs through microscopes pretty much."

    Davoid on
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  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Airking850 wrote: »
    I had a prof in first year that told us a story about how he made his own moonshine and had some on Christmas Eve, then the next thing he knew he was standing in the middle of a street holding a Christmas tree with no idea how he got there or whose tree it was.

    He was a pretty rad prof.

    man I have a story like that only I was drinking Bacardi 151 at a friend's place

    and the next thing I knew I was standing in his bathroom with my pants down

    #pipe on
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  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    My favorite English professor was dating a girl who does racecar stuff for a living. One time he brought a video to class of her driving around the track with him and he was screaming like a little girl the entire time. Then we had to write a response about how awesome that was

    He wasn't a wimpy guy at all either. Total badass, but has never driven over 100 and never wanted to again after that

    Fiz on
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  • LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2009
    #pipe wrote: »
    wanna meet that professor

    it's just 150cc

    Larlar on
    iwantanswers3.png
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    ahahahahaha

    That's fantastic

    Goatmon on
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  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Larlar wrote: »
    #pipe wrote: »
    wanna meet that professor

    it's just 150cc

    I thought he taught girl's volleyball

    #pipe on
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  • LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2009
    #pipe wrote: »
    Larlar wrote: »
    #pipe wrote: »
    wanna meet that professor

    it's just 150cc

    I thought he taught girl's volleyball

    whatever, same thing

    Larlar on
    iwantanswers3.png
  • TheOneWhoStoodUpTheOneWhoStoodUp Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I had once had a guest lecturer who was fairly well known for his opinions on linguistic movements in post medieval eastern Europe. It's a pretty "controversial" subject in history circles (I know, I know), so he prefaced his entire lecture by saying "Alright, I'm going to say a bunch of things that are going to offend some people. Don't waste my time or your time by complaining or bringing up any points. I'm here to talk once, then leave. If you're extremely offended, too fucking bad. Complain to the department. I'm tenured. By the time the red tape clears I'll have already retired."

    It was an awesome lecture.

    TheOneWhoStoodUp on
    That's pretty far out, man!
  • VixxVixx Valkyrie: prepared! Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    haha that's a pretty sweet E-mail

    Vixx on
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  • Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I had this crazy woodshop teacher in 6th grade, he did impressions and threw chalk erasers at people. One day he never showed up to class because he was arrested for being a part of a pedophile ring. They were caught after trying to proposition a 15 year old boy online.

    Then there was this one art teacher who took off her blouse to clean off a stain. She got fired for hitting a kid in the head with a coffee mug she threw because she was angry.

    Then there was the gym teacher who got fired for throwing a student up against a locker, he was then rehired 3 years later.

    Filler Inc. on
  • SamSam Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    My favorite professor (that I actually had) told us a story about how in the 70's he invited a guy from New Orleans who remembered and performed all these random street hollers from the past that weren't around anymore. Apparently 70's hippies dug that shit. Anyway he got his class to go attend the guy's session at the auditorium and basically the guest speaker started doing the calls. He was like -"The ice man's call was "I got that ice man, i got that ice!" the fruit man's cry was "I got that fruit man, I got that fruit!" the sugar man's cry was "I got that sugar man! I got that sugar!"

    yeah i fucked up the quotation marks there but fuck it

    Sam on
  • bombardierbombardier Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited February 2009
    Everyone should come into class next week with a beer for him.

    bombardier on
  • SamSam Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Filler Inc. wrote: »
    I had this crazy woodshop teacher in 6th grade, he did impressions and threw chalk erasers at people. One day he never showed up to class because he was arrested for being a part of a pedophile ring. They were caught after trying to proposition a 15 year old boy online.

    Then there was this one art teacher who took off her blouse to clean off a stain. She got fired for hitting a kid in the head with a coffee mug she threw because she was angry.

    Then there was the gym teacher who got fired for throwing a student up against a locker, he was then rehired 3 years later.

    where did you go to school?

    Sam on
  • Sara LynnSara Lynn I can handle myself. Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    My adviser/professor would send me really heartfelt emails that are too personal to post. If she sends me anything personal it's probably guarunteed I'll cry. She's just so sweet and understanding that it hurts my heart to leave the university and not have her classes anymore.

    Sara Lynn on
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Filler Inc. wrote: »
    I had this crazy woodshop teacher in 6th grade, he did impressions and threw chalk erasers at people. One day he never showed up to class because he was arrested for being a part of a pedophile ring. They were caught after trying to proposition a 15 year old boy online.

    Then there was this one art teacher who took off her blouse to clean off a stain. She got fired for hitting a kid in the head with a coffee mug she threw because she was angry.

    Then there was the gym teacher who got fired for throwing a student up against a locker, he was then rehired 3 years later.

    I went to a private Anglican boys college

    we had to go to chapel once a weeks

    one of the priests on staff is currently serving a ten year sentence for fucking a student

    also my math teacher in grade ten had a nervous breakdown right in front of us!
    calmly walked out of class, got in his car and never came back.

    #pipe on
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    Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2009
    When I was in high school, I came across an article in the newspaper that the doctor I went to when I was younger was arrested for having a sexual relationship with young boys.


    That kinda freaked me out.

    The Geek on
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  • Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Some guy at a studio sent a private email to an alias by mistake and it got beamed to most of the tv networks and fx studios in Los Angeles.
    Dear [recipient],

    This past summer I was apprehended by the police for soliciting a prostitute. Without going into too much detail, my fine was $100.00 and fourteen days of community service. This past week I was reminded by my attorney that I must accomplish this task by January 4th . Unfortunately, I am only able to fulfill my obligation on the weekend.

    At this juncture of the [software] class, since i'm not an artist and will never aspire to be one, I feel that with the aid of the on-line tutorial, I have reached my initial goal, that of which was to understand what [software] is.

    Please advise me, as to whether we can work out an agreement where neither you or myself are penalized, and whereupon I may be able to fulfill by legal obligation.


    Much thanks and happy holidays to YOU and YOURS !
    [sender]

    ps

    I will be calling you later today

    Synthetic Orange on
  • TheOneWhoStoodUpTheOneWhoStoodUp Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Filler Inc. wrote: »
    I had this crazy woodshop teacher in 6th grade, he did impressions and threw chalk erasers at people. One day he never showed up to class because he was arrested for being a part of a pedophile ring. They were caught after trying to proposition a 15 year old boy online.

    Then there was this one art teacher who took off her blouse to clean off a stain. She got fired for hitting a kid in the head with a coffee mug she threw because she was angry.

    Then there was the gym teacher who got fired for throwing a student up against a locker, he was then rehired 3 years later.

    That's fucked. Shit like that happened at my Junior High. One teacher that would throw desks and shit, then threw a student. Fired, then got hired at my high school...
    Another teacher was arrested on cocaine possession.

    University is awesome because it's full of the fun kind of crazy.

    TheOneWhoStoodUp on
    That's pretty far out, man!
  • ShimShamShimSham Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I've had some pretty great professors.

    My lesbian, political sci professor told us the story about how she got raped, years ago and how the guy got caught and all.

    One professor told us all about getting jumped in Nigeria, almost getting killed while being mugged and thus basically had his arm ruined.

    One professor drops the F-bomb in lecture like it's going out of style.

    One got off the subject of the Great Depression and spent like half an hour talking about brewing his own beer.

    ShimSham on
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  • SamSam Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    ShimSham wrote: »
    I've had some pretty great professors.

    My lesbian, political sci professor told us the story about how she got raped, years ago and how the guy got caught and all.

    One professor told us all about getting jumped in Nigeria, almost getting killed while being mugged and thus basically had his arm ruined.

    One professor drops the F-bomb in lecture like it's going out of style.

    One got off the subject of the Great Depression and spent like half an hour talking about brewing his own beer.

    I had a journalism professor who was trying so hard to be "hip" or like the youth generation...and our generation is a pretty bad one to try really really hard to relate to imo, if only because of the vast, fractured culture. She was old but retained a lot of hotness for her age, but also tried very obviously hard (really nice clothes new outfit every day, new hair in different colors all the time)
    Anyway she kept dropping references to pot, pop culture, websites, etc.

    Sam on
  • Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    There was also this guy in high school who handled lockers, the student money fund and some year book stuff. He was really nice, everyone loved him and he was one of the coolest staff members we had. Then one day there was a shocking announcement about how at the end of the prior day he drove to a vacant lot, poured gasoline in his car and got in and lit it all up. It was so sad and shocking, he was severely depressed and no one knew because of his sunny demeanor.

    And I had this computer teacher in 12th grade who, we think, either had a nervous meltdown or was arrested for something. One day he was extremely spacey, looked nervous and when asked questions would fumble through them for like 3 minutes before coming to a coherent answer. Questions like, when is this assignment due? Then the next day he was gone. We had a sub for the last three months of school and the most we could get out of him was that he had personal problems and had taken a leave of absence.

    Filler Inc. on
  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    We had a really old guy that ended up marrying a student

    L|ama on
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  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    One of my teachers (Carl Sanderson) was such a great teacher that he recently won some sort of scholarship award thing where he got a trip to NASA.

    Another teacher didn't really know how to maintain discipline in the classroom, and eventually left after slapping some annoying little shit right off his stool in year 9 science class.

    Donovan Puppyfucker on
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    The professor who taught Religions and Revolution at my college was an ex-Luftwaffe pilot from the Second World War. Halfway through our first lecture he turned to the board and started expounding on the topic in actual classical Greek. All I could think was, "I am so out of my league here."

    And then he passed me on my final exam even though I didn't show up? So I guess the moral of the story is, Nazis are bad, but the smart ones will still give you a good grade for attendance and participation.

    Lost Salient on
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  • Brodo FagginsBrodo Faggins Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    One of the professors here int he 70s took his Ancient Greek history class out to the redwoods with a live goat, and showed them what a ritual sacrifice was like.

    Needless to say, he didn't teach in the 80s.

    Brodo Faggins on
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  • Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    The principal in my high school got reprimanded for being attending a graduation party one of my classmates held. There was a photograph of her using the beer luge that was there.

    Another teacher got suspended for writing/allowing gay jokes in reference to one of the teachers and the students he coached on the team in a skit for the school's Talent/Variety show.

    Goose! on
  • godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    My 9th grade history teacher choked a student once for stepping on his shoe.

    godmode on
  • SamSam Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    drinking with high school kids is a dumb idea anyway

    Sam on
  • Brodo FagginsBrodo Faggins Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Sam wrote: »
    drinking with high school kids is a dumb idea anyway

    Ever see high school kids get "drunk" off O'Doule's?

    Brodo Faggins on
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  • nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Fiz wrote: »
    I have a hard time believing he is an English Professor

    If you have mastered a language, you can joke around in it.

    I don't. Great English professors I have had almost always had a great sense of humor.

    neville on
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