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Apocalypse++

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    LockoutLockout I am still searching Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    The beginning of my last week would be something like that line from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
    We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.

    Lockout on
    f24GSaF.jpg
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I can see the very last episode of Dave Letterman, the day the news is announced

    He skips the opening monologue, goes right to his desk, reads the announcement off one of his blue cards, stares into the camera while tapping the card on his desk, then lets a big laugh out, looks over and says "Well I guess that's that whatd'ya say Paul?"

    And Paul

    Paul just throws his hands up, shakes his head, then does that thing where you slide your hand across all the piano keys

    Weaver on
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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    If I thought there was any chance of an airplane ticket, I think I'd buy one to Iceland and see if that Jules Verne guy was lying about a path to the center of the earth.

    I hear they have dinosaurs down there, so even if I die down there, I'll have dinosaurs... which is a plus.

    Lost Salient on
    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    BedigunzBedigunz Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Dadouw wrote: »
    I would have tons of sex with all of my friends ( the girl ones ) while doing tons of drugs

    I would eat all kind of shit I never tried, hang out maybe 2 or 3 days with my family

    And when the time comes, I will sit on the top of a cliff with a cuban cigar in my mouth, and watch the world end, while laughing and masturbating.

    Laughing so hard you're crying

    Using your tears as lube

    That's the only way to spend your last moments in life

    Bedigunz on
    cdmAF00.png
    Coran Attack!
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Weaver wrote: »
    I can see the very last episode of Dave Letterman, the day the news is announced

    He skips the opening monologue, goes right to his desk, reads the announcement off one of his blue cards, stares into the camera while tapping the card on his desk, then lets a big laugh out, looks over and says "Well I guess that's that whatd'ya say Paul?"

    And Paul

    Paul just throws his hands up, shakes his head, then does that thing where you slide your hand across all the piano keys


    Then Paul runs over, kisses Dave right on the lips, and the fade to black.

    Hunter on
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Humanity could always pull a "you can't fire me, I quit!" and launch all the nukes on day one

    then on day seven the comet goes right by us and whoops.jpg

    Weaver on
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    SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2009
    Bedigunz wrote: »
    Lockout wrote: »
    I don't understand. Why would you kill yourself if the world was ending?

    Well I guess if you were going to be killed in some horrifically painful way, yeah, but otherwise I'd stick around to watch it go down.

    I qualified for a space on the New Colony Space Ark, so I'll be watching the end of the world in redshift.

    Too bad your New Colony Space Ark is in the path of that fuckoff comet.

    So sucks to be, you're gonna die before us. What will you do with your 6 days left?

    Jeese, cry a lot I guess.

    Thanks for nuthin'

    Szechuanosaurus on
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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    I can see the very last episode of Dave Letterman, the day the news is announced

    He skips the opening monologue, goes right to his desk, reads the announcement off one of his blue cards, stares into the camera while tapping the card on his desk, then lets a big laugh out, looks over and says "Well I guess that's that whatd'ya say Paul?"

    And Paul

    Paul just throws his hands up, shakes his head, then does that thing where you slide your hand across all the piano keys


    Then Dave executes Richard Simmons on the stage, and the fade to black.

    Weaver on
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    DadouwDadouw Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Weaver wrote: »
    Humanity could always pull a "you can't fire me, I quit!" and launch all the nukes on day one

    then on day seven the comet goes right by us and whoops.jpg

    but then radioactive ZOMBIES OH FUUUCK

    Dadouw on
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    Airking850Airking850 Ottawa, ONRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I'd tell a lot of people how much they mean to me

    then I'd just wander around town, taking in humanity at its best/worst.

    Airking850 on
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    DragonicityDragonicity Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Weaver wrote: »
    Hunter wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    I can see the very last episode of Dave Letterman, the day the news is announced

    He skips the opening monologue, goes right to his desk, reads the announcement off one of his blue cards, stares into the camera while tapping the card on his desk, then lets a big laugh out, looks over and says "Well I guess that's that whatd'ya say Paul?"

    And Paul

    Paul just throws his hands up, shakes his head, then does that thing where you slide your hand across all the piano keys


    Then Paul professes his love to Dave and gives him a hummer on tv. The FCC already left to hide in a bunker, so the last images of humanity broadcast into space is Paul getting blasted in the eye.

    Dragonicity on
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    Airking850Airking850 Ottawa, ONRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I...

    that...

    it takes a lot to make me speechless, but wow

    Airking850 on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited February 2009
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I know at lest a third of my last week would actually be spent trying to organize something really monumental via the internet, then having to compromise it so much that I just say "fuck it" and do something totally half-assed with whoever was able to make it.

    TankHammer on
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    Airking850Airking850 Ottawa, ONRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I'm trying to wrap my head around the kind of person whose thoughts, in any situation, turn to Paul Schaffer slashfic.

    Airking850 on
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Weaver wrote: »
    would be interesting to see how many people still go in to work the next day after the end is announced

    I think I might, actually
    I mean, I have friends there I'd want to see, and I really doubt we'd have much business on a day like that (I'm a lifeguard) so it would just be us chilling by the lake and thinking and shooting the shit

    I'd like the last days of the world to be like Majora's Mask, basically, where people are kind of in shock about it and they're still trying to go to work and such, but they're sort of getting their affairs in order and trying to patch up differences with other people and such

    I would want that, because I wouldn't last very long in a violent breakdown of society

    And then on the last couple of nights, once we've put petty worldly differences behind us, we all get tore up (from the floor up) and fuck anything that moves and wait for the asteroid

    (I always want it to be an asteroid)

    Grey Ghost on
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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I'm pretty sure my ideal last week on earth would be marred by constantly defending myself from rioters, raiders, looters, and rapists.

    so pretty much an average week in Alaska

    FAQ on
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    BearstranautBearstranaut Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Weaver wrote: »
    Humanity could always pull a "you can't fire me, I quit!" and launch all the nukes on day one

    then on day seven the comet goes right by us and whoops.jpg

    This post did not get enough attention. I like the idea of us collectively raising a middle finger to the universe and the universe declining to be a reference on mankind's resume after all is said and done.


    Really, our behavior as a species can be handily explained by examining the root words of "mankind," - which are "mank" and "ind."

    I don't know what those words mean, but I'm sure they'd explain alot...

    Bearstranaut on
    You ever try and draw Falcor as a giant dong? No? It just ends up looking like a long cyclops.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I would also totally be trying to get in the pants of, like, every high school crush I ever had

    Grey Ghost on
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    BearstranautBearstranaut Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    I would also totally be trying to get in the pants of, like, every high school crush I ever had

    I thought that was what facebook was for anyway

    Bearstranaut on
    You ever try and draw Falcor as a giant dong? No? It just ends up looking like a long cyclops.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    i would turn fallout 3 into a reality show

    tugga on
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    So, in the event of, let's say comet/asteroid

    How does that announcement even get made?

    Who has the shitty job of getting up in front of that mic and telling every person on the planet they're going to die in a tremendous fireball?

    Grey Ghost on
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    FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    They get Andy Dick to do it

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    So, in the event of, let's say comet/asteroid

    How does that announcement even get made?

    Who has the shitty job of getting up in front of that mic and telling every person on the planet they're going to die in a tremendous fireball?

    Usually a figure of extremely high authority who also has the ability to phrase something calmly and scientifically or religiously. In this day and age it would be a representative from whichever research lab or company that discovered the incoming event and the president/prime minister/monarch/etc of the country the announcement was being broadcast to.

    I'd much rather hear Barrack Obama's doomsday speech than George W. Bush's so I'm glad it didn't happen yet.

    TankHammer on
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    Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Indiscriminate killing spree.

    Peter Ebel on
    Fuck off and die.
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    DragonicityDragonicity Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Peter Ebel wrote: »
    Indiscriminate killing spree.

    With a sword, on a pogo stick.

    Just to kick up the difficulty level.

    Dragonicity on
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    BedigunzBedigunz Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Peter Ebel wrote: »
    Indiscriminate killing spree.

    Its not racism if you give each group of people an equal chance to DIE

    Bedigunz on
    cdmAF00.png
    Coran Attack!
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I'm not down with causing unjust harm to people so I'd probably get a kick out of rescuing folks from the sociopaths like Peter here. I have a pretty strong hero complex/male power fantasy that's been developing over the past 2+ decades of TV, movies and video games.

    TankHammer on
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    BedigunzBedigunz Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Yea but I don't think you can wield a gunsword or cast flarus on people.

    But if you could, want to join my leatherclad biker gang called "Bedi's Bros"?

    Bedigunz on
    cdmAF00.png
    Coran Attack!
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Bedigunz wrote: »
    Yea but I don't think you can wield a gunsword or cast flarus on people.

    But if you could, want to join my leatherclad biker gang called "Bedi's Bros"?

    I'd be happy with a semi-auto rifle and a molotov cocktail or two.

    TankHammer on
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    I imagine apocalypse scenarios way more often than is probably healthy

    Grey Ghost on
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    sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Booger CoveRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    ok so who gets to be trashcan man

    dibs on three dog

    spono on
    640qocnq4ske.gif
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    Airking850Airking850 Ottawa, ONRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Jay Ingram should be the one to break the news.

    Airking850 on
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    BearstranautBearstranaut Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    GAS TANK
    CHECK
    MOTORCYCLE BRAKE HANDLE
    CHECK
    LAWNMOWER BLADE
    CHECK


    FUN?

    INEVITABLE

    Bearstranaut on
    You ever try and draw Falcor as a giant dong? No? It just ends up looking like a long cyclops.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Now I'm gonna be on Wikipedia all day reading about potential threats to Earthly life

    Grey Ghost on
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    Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Bedigunz wrote: »
    Peter Ebel wrote: »
    Indiscriminate killing spree.

    Its not racism if you give each group of people an equal chance to DIE

    Shit, nobody but white people live here. Barely even a poor person!

    Peter Ebel on
    Fuck off and die.
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    I imagine apocalypse scenarios way more often than is probably healthy

    I keep a running mental checklist on where to procure weapons, ammo and sweet rides (provided I can hot-wire if the situation calls for it) in case of societal breakdown. If you guys are interested in pooling some pre-war money I know a place that is selling a FIRE ENGINE for just 10 grand.

    It looks like this one:
    33jsnfd.jpg

    TankHammer on
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    MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    No one's gonna care if you hit an old man if the world is ending, Rob.

    single tear

    MrMonroe on
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    MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Now I'm gonna be on Wikipedia all day reading about potential threats to Earthly life

    are you ready to get your gamma ray burst on?

    MrMonroe on
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited February 2009
    Upside of the apocalypse, don't have to pay any more tuition or worry about what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life

    sorta... answers all your questions, doesn't it?

    edit: awwwww jeah Monroe, let's light this candle

    Grey Ghost on
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