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I'm gonna be a papa! On purpose!

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Posts

  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Mysst wrote: »
    I imagine it will probably be a lot of redundancy

    Oh, look, another whore being choked while a baseball bat is rammed up her ass by a midget clown.

    How pedestrian.

    Gosh, another all-anal gangbang with clowns? I have like six scenes of that already, give me a break.

    Honestly, how many times do you have to watch a woman fellate six horses before it becomes interesting again?

    Darth Waiter on
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Mysst wrote: »
    I imagine it will probably be a lot of redundancy

    Oh, look, another whore being choked while a baseball bat is rammed up her ass by a midget clown.

    How pedestrian.

    Gosh, another all-anal gangbang with clowns? I have like six scenes of that already, give me a break.

    Honestly, how many times do you have to watch a woman fellate six horses before it becomes interesting again?

    Pshhh, horses are old hat. It's all about turtle and lion porn nowadays.

    A veritable Noah's Ark of beastiality.

    Moriveth on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    its funny how people get all amped up for a baby and then labor finally rolls around and they have the baby and they are so excited for the life change and they go home from the hospital ready to be mommy and daddy and do all this stuff with the baby...

    and then they realize that babies sleep about 20 hours a day and you just sit around and watch it eat and sleep for about the first 3 months

    then it starts to react back at you and has a little personality and just gets cooler from there

    but that first month is boooooooooring

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    that first month is a trick to lull you into a false sense of security

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    That baby picture on facebook is pretty hilarious, Cracked

    Moriveth on
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    mysst i think i would like to compare inventories
    mang you know what, i downloaded some kaden kross for you and forgot to burn it for you when you were over

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Great, now I'm gonna have like eight guys in bear suits after me for my porno.
    sounds like a porn in the making.

    Bare Bear on Bear Action.

    Abracadaniel on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    i have to admit, we have been pretty lucky with both of ours

    they never got on any weird sleep schedules and were (have been so far) healthy with no real sickness or anything like that

    although we had a pretty bad scare with my youngest in his first month when we found blood in his crib, it turned out to be no biggie

    but my heart goes out to all the parents of kids that have troubles when they are tiny tiny

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    its funny how people get all amped up for a baby and then labor finally rolls around and they have the baby and they are so excited for the life change and they go home from the hospital ready to be mommy and daddy and do all this stuff with the baby...

    and then they realize that babies sleep about 20 hours a day and you just sit around and watch it eat and sleep for about the first 3 months

    then it starts to react back at you and has a little personality and just gets cooler from there

    but that first month is boooooooooring

    Then it does that wicked meconium poop that's like black ink mixed with tar.

    Hunter on
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Back on topic for parenthood, I had a brief thought about scheduling times for play. Richard M. Nixon (aka Daysleeper) and I agree upon 'free time' for kids to get the fuck outside and play with other kids. They learn to structure and organize themselves, they learn to make their own games, and they learn that getting dirty and having scraped knees is not the end of the world.

    Also, video games are fun and all, but a game that I have trouble saying no to is Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? Seriously, I'm 31 and I still love that game.

    Darth Waiter on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Moriveth wrote: »
    That baby picture on facebook is pretty hilarious, Cracked

    that's my boy! hes a goofball

    all you have to do is say howdy to him and he will crack the fuck up

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    mysst i think i would like to compare inventories
    mang you know what, i downloaded some kaden kross for you and forgot to burn it for you when you were over

    you sure know how to bust my balls, man.

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    its funny how people get all amped up for a baby and then labor finally rolls around and they have the baby and they are so excited for the life change and they go home from the hospital ready to be mommy and daddy and do all this stuff with the baby...

    and then they realize that babies sleep about 20 hours a day and you just sit around and watch it eat and sleep for about the first 3 months

    then it starts to react back at you and has a little personality and just gets cooler from there

    but that first month is boooooooooring

    Then it does that wicked meconium poop that's like black ink mixed with tar.

    "apparently my baby's ass is an oil reserve..."

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    its funny how people get all amped up for a baby and then labor finally rolls around and they have the baby and they are so excited for the life change and they go home from the hospital ready to be mommy and daddy and do all this stuff with the baby...

    and then they realize that babies sleep about 20 hours a day and you just sit around and watch it eat and sleep for about the first 3 months

    then it starts to react back at you and has a little personality and just gets cooler from there

    but that first month is boooooooooring

    Then it does that wicked meconium poop that's like black ink mixed with tar.

    "apparently my baby's ass is an oil reserve..."
    and the next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.

    Antimatter on
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    its funny how people get all amped up for a baby and then labor finally rolls around and they have the baby and they are so excited for the life change and they go home from the hospital ready to be mommy and daddy and do all this stuff with the baby...

    and then they realize that babies sleep about 20 hours a day and you just sit around and watch it eat and sleep for about the first 3 months

    then it starts to react back at you and has a little personality and just gets cooler from there

    but that first month is boooooooooring

    Then it does that wicked meconium poop that's like black ink mixed with tar.

    "apparently my baby's ass is an oil reserve..."

    I thought my kid passed the Venom symbiote.

    Hunter on
  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I kept my parents on their toes for the first 7-8 so years of life.


    The folks at the hospital always joked (and still do) that they were going to name a wing of the place after us.

    Looking back I still have very little concept of what it must of have been like for my folks.

    DrZiplock on
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    i miss carrying my niece up the stairs in her diapers and wondering if she was sick, because she was "sweating"

    and when i set her down on the bed i realize, oh no, that wasn't butt sweat, that was gaucamole all on my arm and shirt now, and dribbling down her leg on the bed.

    oops!

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    mysst i think i would like to compare inventories
    mang you know what, i downloaded some kaden kross for you and forgot to burn it for you when you were over

    you sure know how to bust my balls, man.
    I always do the first part of nice things for people and never follow through with anything that actually benefits the person

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Mysst wrote: »
    Mysst wrote: »
    mysst i think i would like to compare inventories
    mang you know what, i downloaded some kaden kross for you and forgot to burn it for you when you were over

    you sure know how to bust my balls, man.
    I always do the first part of nice things for people and never follow through with anything that actually benefits the person

    hey the steak and shrimp was worth it, now if only i could've ordered beer there

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    yeah potty training my 2 year old girl has been interesting...

    hanging out with her on my lap and all of the sudden im all wet. and i know i didnt piss myself

    not this time at least

    but i think we are over the hump and she is going completely by herself now. and it is awesome

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Stale wrote: »

    That kid is awesome.

    Butters on
    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters | Amazon Wishlist
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    yeah potty training my 2 year old girl has been interesting...

    hanging out with her on my lap and all of the sudden im all wet. and i know i didnt piss myself

    not this time at least

    but i think we are over the hump and she is going completely by herself now. and it is awesome

    victory!

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Apparently I was a pretty quiet, reserved baby

    My sister, on the other hand, never shut up

    Moriveth on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    yeah potty training my 2 year old girl has been interesting...

    hanging out with her on my lap and all of the sudden im all wet. and i know i didnt piss myself

    not this time at least

    but i think we are over the hump and she is going completely by herself now. and it is awesome

    victory!

    its funny because she sits on the regular toilet with this smaller seat that fits her butt, and she has a little step stool that helps her get up there

    well shes good about getting her pants down and getting up there and then wiping and everything, but she has trouble getting her pants back up

    theres been a few times where she needs help getting her pants up and steps down off the stool and goes almost face first into the linoleum

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    my parents' friends used to joke that i would never get a word in edgewise, the way my parents talked

    they were so wrong

    Quoth on
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Next week I am going to be alone for three days

    Moriveth on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Next week I am going to be alone for three days

    Rach is gonna come home and find you sitting at the computer looking like the guy from stephen king's "thinner"

    all gaunt and worn out with 12 empty bottles of lotion and 10 boxes of spent tissues piled around the desk

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Next week I am going to be alone for three days

    Rach is gonna come home and find you sitting at the computer looking like the guy from stephen king's "thinner"

    all gaunt and worn out with 12 empty bottles of lotion and 10 boxes of spent tissues piled around the desk

    "I....I....oh thank god you're home!"

    DrZiplock on
  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Next week I am going to be alone for three days

    I'll be there for youuuu

    When the rain starts to pour.

    The_Scarab on
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Next week I am going to be alone for three days

    Rach is gonna come home and find you sitting at the computer looking like the guy from stephen king's "thinner"

    all gaunt and worn out with 12 empty bottles of lotion and 10 boxes of spent tissues piled around the desk

    "I....I....oh thank god you're home!"

    Actually I have to go pick her up

    So the question becomes, will I have the strength to make it to the car?

    Moriveth on
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Next week I am going to be alone for three days

    Rach is gonna come home and find you sitting at the computer looking like the guy from stephen king's "thinner"

    all gaunt and worn out with 12 empty bottles of lotion and 10 boxes of spent tissues piled around the desk

    This is the image I'm going to have in my head when I first meet Mori and Janson and I'm going to be snickering the whole time.

    Darth Waiter on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Next week I am going to be alone for three days

    Rach is gonna come home and find you sitting at the computer looking like the guy from stephen king's "thinner"

    all gaunt and worn out with 12 empty bottles of lotion and 10 boxes of spent tissues piled around the desk

    "I....I....oh thank god you're home!"

    "Give me a gatorade and some vitamin E. I need you!"

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    yeah potty training my 2 year old girl has been interesting...

    hanging out with her on my lap and all of the sudden im all wet. and i know i didnt piss myself

    not this time at least

    but i think we are over the hump and she is going completely by herself now. and it is awesome

    victory!

    its funny because she sits on the regular toilet with this smaller seat that fits her butt, and she has a little step stool that helps her get up there

    well shes good about getting her pants down and getting up there and then wiping and everything, but she has trouble getting her pants back up

    theres been a few times where she needs help getting her pants up and steps down off the stool and goes almost face first into the linoleum

    is it wrong to laugh about that and hear you sound exasperated because you gotta go pick her up from the floor while you're playing cod4?

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    yeah potty training my 2 year old girl has been interesting...

    hanging out with her on my lap and all of the sudden im all wet. and i know i didnt piss myself

    not this time at least

    but i think we are over the hump and she is going completely by herself now. and it is awesome

    victory!

    its funny because she sits on the regular toilet with this smaller seat that fits her butt, and she has a little step stool that helps her get up there

    well shes good about getting her pants down and getting up there and then wiping and everything, but she has trouble getting her pants back up

    theres been a few times where she needs help getting her pants up and steps down off the stool and goes almost face first into the linoleum

    is it wrong to laugh about that and hear you sound exasperated because you gotta go pick her up from the floor while you're playing cod4?

    no its totally cool because if she wasnt ruining my K/D ratio i would be laughing too

    shes pretty tough about it. tell her she's ok and to shake it off. she shakes her whole body, arms and legs and head, and goes "me OK!" and runs off to do something else

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    cl you might have some of the coolest kids ever

    i am totally glad i sent you those games to aid you in your parental neglect

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    shes pretty tough about it. tell her she's ok and to shake it off. she shakes her whole body, arms and legs and head, and goes "me OK!" and runs off to do something else

    That is so adorable that I believe I just got diabetes.

    Darth Waiter on
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    One time Cracked and I were playing Castle Crashers, and his daughter came in, and he asked her "Did you get a haircut?"

    I thought he was talking to me.

    Moriveth on
  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    she just kicked my ass a little bit ago

    i was laying on the cough, she climbed up on the back, put her elbow out, tapped it twice and dropped the Big Elbow on me. Macho Man Randy Savage style

    i was so proud. i really couldnt have asked for a cooler kid

    CrackedLens on
    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • Dead LegendDead Legend Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    i chipped my niece's front teeth on accident

    she was being a tard, kinda feel bad about it though. luckily, they were baby teeth

    Dead Legend on
    diablo III - beardsnbeer#1508 Mechwarrior Online - Rusty Bock
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    i was laying on the cough, she climbed up on the back, put her elbow out, tapped it twice and dropped the Big Elbow on me. Macho Man Randy Savage style

    This kid is fantastic.

    Darth Waiter on
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