Awkward moments, they fill our lives like spices onto a turkey. Sometimes they act merely as the foundation for a great moment, a hilarious joke or a memorable experience. Sometimes they are encased in sorrow and pain though.
Come together SE++ and share your most awkward moment you have experienced. Taste what others bring to table with their stories and let us all grow fat on the tales of terror to be told.
Zonugal(He/Him) The Holiday ArmadilloI'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered Userregular
edited July 2010
I'll begin with a story of my most awkward moment. In the 8th grade I broke my femur in a hurdling accident during a track meet and had to be brought to the hospital. After the surgery I was held for an additional day before being released but within that day I experience my most awkward moment.
Because of my supposed weakened state I had to use a urine bottle and apparently the staff felt that was too much difficulty so they sent assistant. In the door walked a nurse to assist me in urinating into a bottle. But instead of gentle, female nurse they sent the tallest, angriest black man I had ever seen (think Me'Shell from Dodgeball for a fair resemblance).
He walked over to my bed, grabbed my penis with much force and shoved it into the urine bottle. But because of fear, stage-fright or whatever it may have been I was unable to urinate. And so for four minutes this male nurse held my penis while looking down upon me with furious eyes. I felt disappointment like none before.
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World as Mytha breezy way to annoy serious peopleRegistered Userregular
edited July 2010
your sig is an awkward moment
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Zonugal(He/Him) The Holiday ArmadilloI'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered Userregular
edited July 2010
Just wait till you see it in person, it draws the eyes with all the majesty of a dumpster fire.
I had a friend in college, a white chick that was pretty hefty. Us and our group of friends were invited to a Queen-themed party, in which the partygoers were encouraged to dress like a Queen song.
I got there before her, and as expected, there were plenty of people dressed as bike riders, fat-bottomed girls, and murderous queens (killer queen).
My friend arrived, and I pointed at her butt.
"Oh, did you come as a fat-bottomed girl too?"
"No, I'm not in costume".
In the second grade, my teacher called everybody in the class into the group circle. This means it was activity time or that some one had something to share.
Up stands the girl who is known to have a crush on me. She proceeds to read a love poem out loud, then walks over to me and hands me a rose.
All the children immediately start pointing and laughing at me. I run from the room crying.
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AntimatterDevo Was RightGates of SteelRegistered Userregular
I'll begin with a story of my most awkward moment. In the 8th grade I broke my femur in a hurdling accident during a track meet and had to be brought to the hospital. After the surgery I was held for an additional day before being released but within that day I experience my most awkward moment.
Because of my supposed weakened state I had to use a urine bottle and apparently the staff felt that was too much difficulty so they sent assistant. In the door walked a nurse to assist me in urinating into a bottle. But instead of gentle, female nurse they sent the tallest, angriest black man I had ever seen (think Me'Shell from Dodgeball for a fair resemblance).
He walked over to my bed, grabbed my penis with much force and shoved it into the urine bottle. But because of fear, stage-fright or whatever it may have been I was unable to urinate. And so for four minutes this male nurse held my penis while looking down upon me with furious eyes. I felt disappointment like none before.
My grandfather died a week ago, so I had to get cleaned up for the funeral.
I walk into the Cost Cutters, and find out this hot chick covered in tattoos is gonna cut my hair for me.
We start making small talk to pass the time, and then she asks me why am I getting my haircut if I hadn't in such a long time. Without even thinking about it I replied, "My grandfather died, I am going to his funeral."
"Oh."
"Yeah"
We didn't talk much after that. I am bad at conversations.
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PiptheFairFrequently not in boats.Registered Userregular
edited July 2010
hey so how many of you all remember the story of what happened with me and my ex?
ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages
I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up
we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch
Once when I was talking to a girl I liked I made an extravagant hand motion!
Unfortunately because I'd recently had a little accident this involved the stitches in my elbow splitting open and a huge red stain blossoming throughout my sleeve in a goddamn volcanic eruption of blood.
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jaziekBad at everythingAnd mad about it.Registered Userregular
this lady at the hospital has terrible terrible cancer, and her doctor was in the room asking about how she was
i was about to ask her if there was anything i could do for her, water her flowers, etc., when her doctor told her her temperature was fine, and she responded, 'well at least i am not dead!'
and my big mouth joked 'yet!'
and then everyone looked at me and i walked out of her room and out of the hospital
it has not been topped since, and i'm thankful for that
once when i was in grade school, there was a girl who recently moved to town and enrolled at our school. she moved around a lot because her dad was a commercial airline pilot.
she was a pretty chill person for 7th grade. so naturally many of the parents in town warned their sons she was a massive slut
so of course later that year, i'm at a common friend's birthday party, and somehow we get to talking about this girl. i of course blurt out that "my mom says [girl] is a total slut!"
i immediately hear crying behind me. guess who juuust walked in to the room.
The only stalker I ever had to deal with left me alone after I threatened to smash her head in with a blunt instrument
...man I am such a classy guy.
did you at least insist on a blowjob first before promising to smash her head in? i hear guys are only classy of they insist on head before the domestic violence.
The only stalker I ever had to deal with left me alone after I threatened to smash her head in with a blunt instrument
...man I am such a classy guy.
did you at least insist on a blowjob first before promising to smash her head in? i hear guys are only classy of they insist on head before the domestic violence.
Hell no this was the girl who gave terrible, terrible head. Few people might recall her actually
The only stalker I ever had to deal with left me alone after I threatened to smash her head in with a blunt instrument
...man I am such a classy guy.
did you at least insist on a blowjob first before promising to smash her head in? i hear guys are only classy of they insist on head before the domestic violence.
ed is a pretty smart guy i think
smart guys don't let obsessively deranged people near their genitals
it makes people think they like them, and that is the last thing they need
edit: apparently i'm wrong
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Tossrocktoo weird to livetoo rare to dieRegistered Userregular
"Ok here's a real embarrassing story, I was fucking this super hot chick at a party right? Well I'm a virtuoso with my cock, and on her eighty second orgasm she moaned loudly enough for the rest of the house to hear, so they all came running in! I stood up and everyone saw my twelve inch dick! Ho boy, was my face red (mostly from exhaustion though, because we'd been having sex for four days already)"
cursed with an amazing memory for every slight thing I have ever done + over-thinking things + basing my self esteem on the opinion of others = most awkward person I know
this lady at the hospital has terrible terrible cancer, and her doctor was in the room asking about how she was
i was about to ask her if there was anything i could do for her, water her flowers, etc., when her doctor told her her temperature was fine, and she responded, 'well at least i am not dead!'
and my big mouth joked 'yet!'
and then everyone looked at me and i walked out of her room and out of the hospital
it has not been topped since, and i'm thankful for that
"Ok here's a real embarrassing story, I was fucking this super hot chick at a party right? Well I'm a virtuoso with my cock, and on her eighty second orgasm she moaned loudly enough for the rest of the house to hear, so they all came running in! I stood up and everyone saw my twelve inch dick! Ho boy, was my face red (mostly from exhaustion though, because we'd been having sex for four days already)"
"Ok here's a real embarrassing story, I was fucking this super hot chick at a party right? Well I'm a virtuoso with my cock, and on her eighty second orgasm she moaned loudly enough for the rest of the house to hear, so they all came running in! I stood up and everyone saw my twelve inch dick! Ho boy, was my face red (mostly from exhaustion though, because we'd been having sex for four days already)"
dude broseph i totally sympathize this happens to me every night
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Because of my supposed weakened state I had to use a urine bottle and apparently the staff felt that was too much difficulty so they sent assistant. In the door walked a nurse to assist me in urinating into a bottle. But instead of gentle, female nurse they sent the tallest, angriest black man I had ever seen (think Me'Shell from Dodgeball for a fair resemblance).
He walked over to my bed, grabbed my penis with much force and shoved it into the urine bottle. But because of fear, stage-fright or whatever it may have been I was unable to urinate. And so for four minutes this male nurse held my penis while looking down upon me with furious eyes. I felt disappointment like none before.
Zonugal, this is a bad thread, because I think you already won it.
Dad: MAN UP, FOR GOD'S SAKE! You aren't a girl, be a man!
Me: (I'm transgender, you fucker, but I can't fucking tell you)
and have been pounded into oblivion through drinking so that i don't have to relive them
but i assure you, if there is a way to fuck something up, i've figured it out.
I got there before her, and as expected, there were plenty of people dressed as bike riders, fat-bottomed girls, and murderous queens (killer queen).
My friend arrived, and I pointed at her butt.
"Oh, did you come as a fat-bottomed girl too?"
"No, I'm not in costume".
She still makes fun of me for it to this day.
It was crwth, being creepy and sulking in the background again.
Get him, boys!
Up stands the girl who is known to have a crush on me. She proceeds to read a love poem out loud, then walks over to me and hands me a rose.
All the children immediately start pointing and laughing at me. I run from the room crying.
(Me too, Kosh)
Amazing.
I walk into the Cost Cutters, and find out this hot chick covered in tattoos is gonna cut my hair for me.
We start making small talk to pass the time, and then she asks me why am I getting my haircut if I hadn't in such a long time. Without even thinking about it I replied, "My grandfather died, I am going to his funeral."
"Oh."
"Yeah"
We didn't talk much after that. I am bad at conversations.
ok, well crazy stalker hacked my facebook account and sent her creepy messages
I had to work damage control and say that I was never the one that did that, and that he is the reason we broke up
we're now talking again and she wants to have lunch
this has been an awkward week
Unfortunately because I'd recently had a little accident this involved the stitches in my elbow splitting open and a huge red stain blossoming throughout my sleeve in a goddamn volcanic eruption of blood.
crwthster bluth
it has not been topped since, and i'm thankful for that
Urgh. Stalkers are the fucking worst, good luck with that
she was a pretty chill person for 7th grade. so naturally many of the parents in town warned their sons she was a massive slut
so of course later that year, i'm at a common friend's birthday party, and somehow we get to talking about this girl. i of course blurt out that "my mom says [girl] is a total slut!"
i immediately hear crying behind me. guess who juuust walked in to the room.
i'm hopefully less of a jerk today.
steam | Dokkan: 868846562
like, I have heard neither hide nor hair of this guy or my ex in close to 4 years
a ton of crazy bricks have just hit me in the head
at least wait until i'm out of earshot edcrab, jesus
pip instead of reading this story i just read your signature
it was a good post!
Oh come on as if I'm talking about you.
Christ that guy has ears like a bat. A bat.
...man I am such a classy guy.
the ol' mushroom slap, eh?
did you at least insist on a blowjob first before promising to smash her head in? i hear guys are only classy of they insist on head before the domestic violence.
steam | Dokkan: 868846562
Hell no this was the girl who gave terrible, terrible head. Few people might recall her actually
ed is a pretty smart guy i think
smart guys don't let obsessively deranged people near their genitals
it makes people think they like them, and that is the last thing they need
edit: apparently i'm wrong
oh god
cursed with an amazing memory for every slight thing I have ever done + over-thinking things + basing my self esteem on the opinion of others = most awkward person I know
what the hell
Ahahaha, holy shit.
Nice.
steam | Dokkan: 868846562