Hmm.
I've been getting lots of advice about fleshing out my profile more, and I'm going to have to think about it. The thing is, I'm trying to avoid excessive introspection -- I do way too much of that naturally, and I find it a turn-off in other people. Do you really want me to describe my personality?
Hmm.
I've been getting lots of advice about fleshing out my profile more, and I'm going to have to think about it. The thing is, I'm trying to avoid excessive introspection -- I do way too much of that naturally, and I find it a turn-off in other people. Do you really want me to describe my personality?
Flesh it out differently. Think about what you'd like to read. In the "things you think about" section you have a laundry list, which is perhaps fair as many of us think about a lot of things, but perhaps a better way to think of that section is "a thing I think I would talk about on a date." So "snippets of the Great American Novel I'm constructing in my head but have never written, due to all the math I actually write" is more interesting than "Politics, puppies, penpals, and porcupines." The second is more enigmatic (and thus what most people tend to write, because they're trying to be coy or mysterious).
Even staying with Politics, which is your first thing in that list. "Politics" is meaningless. Perhaps you think about "why the Obama administration, which I voted for, has tried so hard to be bipartisan with a party that simply wants it to fail" or "why the Obama administration, which I did not vote for, is working so hard to wreck our economy."
One or two lines that gives a little more flavor to your personality and interests (and by interests I really mean opinions on those interests) is going to get you better responses than a very long list of details about your life and likes. As a female you will probably get a fair amount of messages anyway, but by being concise about yourself you'll help dudes who are into the same things see what you're about -- and potentially prevent dudes who are opposites into messaging you at all (which I assume is a good thing).
I went out with three Korean women I met off the internet. Not at once. Here's the story of one of them.
I put an ad on a Craiglist-like site. Got a reply from some Korean woman. We exchanged a few emails. She made a lot of references to America.
By the way, in all of my ads I mentioned that I'm an American. This is a big selling point if you're in a country other than America. I also always mentioned that I'm tall because the chicks dig tall men. Couple of pro tips there for you.
So yeah, we agreed to meet up outside of some train station. Another aside here, if I may. I never used internet dating in the US so I don't know how it's usually done there. But in London, I don't have a car and most people don't and you're meeting up with strangers from the internet so train (or more specifically underground/subway) stations are where people usually meet. Even when it's somebody you know, you typically meet at an agreed underground station. Little cultural information then.
Met this Korean woman then. Not a looker. She had a few years on me as well.
We walked through Hyde Park. We saw some memorial to Princess Diana. It was a wall with like flowers and notes and pictures on it. This woman mentioned that she didn't think Diana was all that attractive. I agreed. It always struck me as kind of odd that she was considered some hot babe that people wanted to fornicate with. So yeah, me and this Korean woman had a mutual lack of appreciation for Diana Spencer's physical appearance.
My phone rang a few times and I realised that it was an employment agency that I recently went to. So I apologised and told this woman that I have to call them because they might have a job interview or something. I called and they said that I can start working at some crappy mental health clinic next week. So this must have been...early 2008. It was one of the last internet dates that I had.
I'm padding this out because nothing much happened on the "date".
She had to go to the bank. She asked if I would mind hanging out in a store or something while she went to the bank. Maybe this is normal, but I found it slightly odd. But yeah, I checked out the books at some chain book store for a while then we met up again when she was done.
Also odd is I asked what kind of work she did and she just said she was self-employed. I inquired further but she refused to answer. Well, whatever. Just trying to make conversation, lady.
She wanted to go to Whole Food. They recently opened a Whole Food in London. She asked if I ever went to Whole Food in the US, but no. I never even heard of it. I think it's a California thing.
Loads of questions and stories about the US. She mentioned this in her emails too. A lot of bullshit about America. She wanted my opinion on Bill Clinton and all this nonsense.
Another aside. It's annoying as fuck having to field questions about America. I have other interests. But you're always "that American guy" when you're abroad. It's the single most unpleasant facet of living in another country. In the US, I'm "that hip guy", "that clever guy", "that witty guy", and so forth. But that's all mooted by the country of your birth when you live abroad.
Similarly, when going out with foreign women be prepared to hear every boring detail of "their" country. I never do this myself because I figure, "Who gives a fuck?" But people will tell you all the boring crap about Japan or Korea or Estonia or whatever. These people are perpetuating the very thing I was complaining about in my previous paragraph. Don't they have other interests? Is their identity comprised entirely of their nationality? When they were living in Japan (for example) did they never shut up about the cherry blossom festivals and the geishas and Super Famicom and generally how great Japan is? That would be completely bizarre. But when abroad, it becomes acceptable to do that for many people.
So I'm at Whole Food. It's okay. Ridiculously expensive. It's just a big over-priced grocery store with like a cafeteria area and a place to sit down. Quite a few people there. We talk about Bill Clinton. She thinks he aged a lot. I suggest it was a stressful job. This sort of boring crap.
She says that she met some other guys from the internet. Some Australian guys. She says this is the last time she's going to meet guys off the internet, though.
Then I don't know. After a while, we left and I think we decided to end the "date". We never contacted each other again.
As for Whole Food, a year or two ago, I started to see news stories about how this Whole Food is doing quite poorly. People aren't taking to it. There's just this one location in London, I think. Maybe another one too. But yeah, people don't want to buy over-priced groceries in a pretentious environment apparently. Go figure.
given your experiences (and the fact that i've been e-dating for a couple of months and i've already slept with two gorgeous women- who are both citizens) i think i'll avoid your protips
sorry your date went so shittily, though
also, whole foods is massively successful- there are over 280 stores, between america and the uk
given your experiences (and the fact that i've been e-dating for a couple of months and i've already slept with two gorgeous women- who are both citizens) i think i'll avoid your protips
Well, if that's what you're into that's fine. I'm sure there are loads of desperate women on the internet who will have sex with strange men. But I'm not looking for casual sex with loads of desperate gals. Call me nutty, but I'm into meaningful relationships.
I don't get the foreigner bashing that I've seen occasionally in response to my messages. I'm an immigrant myself so better identify with other immigrants. We're a worldly, well-traveled, sophisticated sort. And the British women...holy crap. They're highly unpleasant and not the most attractive people on earth (to put it mildly).
As for coffee, "Are you up for getting some coffee or something?" is my smooth line on the internet.
Also, apparently only five Whole Foods stores in the UK. And they're not doing well.
given your experiences (and the fact that i've been e-dating for a couple of months and i've already slept with two gorgeous women- who are both citizens) i think i'll avoid your protips
Well, if that's what you're into that's fine. I'm sure there are loads of desperate women on the internet who will have sex with strange men. But I'm not looking for casual sex with loads of desperate gals. Call me nutty, but I'm into meaningful relationships.
surprise, surprise- i'm not into casual sex with loads of desperate gals, either!
both experiences were past the first date. both women were independent college graduates. both women make more money and are better looking than me.
I don't get the foreigner bashing that I've seen occasionally in response to my messages. I'm an immigrant myself so better identify with other immigrants. We're a worldly, well-traveled, sophisticated sort. And the British women...holy crap. They're highly unpleasant and not the most attractive people on earth (to put it mildly).
i've lived in asia, europe, and north america. i'm not foreign bashing. i'm parodying your inclination to put down all of these women. you regularly assert that female internet daters are almost universally unattractive, desperate, and totally strange (often in their cultural eccentricities, relative to your position).
so i'm telling you that other people (myself included) are finding attractive, ambitious, relatable women who are looking at the internet as a viable option for romantic connections.
This girl replied to my message ending each sentence with an exclamation mark. So I went back to her profile, and just noticed that every single sentence there too ends with an exclamation mark. It's like exclamation marks are the only punctuation she knows.
Another aside. It's annoying as fuck having to field questions about America. I have other interests. But you're always "that American guy" when you're abroad. It's the single most unpleasant facet of living in another country.
JESUS CHRIST STOP WITH TALKING ABOUT ME BEING AN AMERICAN WHO CARES AND BY THE WAY DID I TELL YOU I'M AN AMERICAN?
I live in the frozen north and I don't even own a hat like that.
Though I have been tempted to purchase a Jayne special for quite some time.
Edit; though I think Richy lives in the region, so he's got hat enough for both of us.
Rockin' the black toque erryday.
Edit part deux: AHEM.
<
I used to, but I moved away from Southern Ontario two years ago. Now I'm in Northern Ontario. And no, that's not North Bay. There's a whole north to this province that makes North Bay look southern.
This girl replied to my message ending each sentence with an exclamation mark. So I went back to her profile, and just noticed that every single sentence there too ends with an exclamation mark. It's like exclamation marks are the only punctuation she knows.
On the other hand, she's hot and blond, so...
See, I would just not be into that person.
Difference between men and women, I guess.
This girl replied to my message ending each sentence with an exclamation mark. So I went back to her profile, and just noticed that every single sentence there too ends with an exclamation mark. It's like exclamation marks are the only punctuation she knows.
On the other hand, she's hot and blond, so...
See, I would just not be into that person.
Difference between men and women, I guess.
Hey at least shes not talking so that everything sounds like a question?
Where everything she says has an upward inflection?
God, I find that annoying?
on a side not anyone in the Chicago land burbs want to go out drinking? Its so boring in St. Charles....
So far all my meetings with other PA people have been quite enjoyable so I'm going to go ahead and assume you won't leave my raped to death corpse along the side of the road.
Meaning yes, that sounds like fun. However, St. Charles is kind of out of the way for me. Do you spend much time in the city?
What is this craiglist-like ad site of yours LH, boringolderasianwomen.com?
Gumtree but they no longer have a dating section.
LearnedHand, I just told a story about a woman being obsessed with me being an American
My stories are real.
Is LearnedHand in the slave trade? What's with his obsession with illegal immigrants from Asia?
Pretty sure all of these women were here legally, but even if they weren't that's no problem of mine. Complaining about "illegals" is a typical reactionary sentiment, the sort often expressed by your fellow Southerners.
There's also loads of immigrants in London so you don't have to seek them out. I read it's 30% immigrants but I think that's a really conservative estimate. So it's a choice between rude, unattractive English women or a foreign woman who may or may not be rude and/or unattractive I'll try the latter.
This girl replied to my message ending each sentence with an exclamation mark. So I went back to her profile, and just noticed that every single sentence there too ends with an exclamation mark. It's like exclamation marks are the only punctuation she knows.
On the other hand, she's hot and blond, so...
See, I would just not be into that person.
Difference between men and women, I guess.
As someone who is not photogenic in the least and whose inflection/meaning/sarcasm has been misinterpreted through text on numerous occasions I tend to give people a pretty good benefit of the doubt in some areas. This is a bit much, but still hardly a deal breaker.
I mean, do you really consider your profile to be a wholly accurate reflection of yourself? Why would you think that of others?
So it's a choice between rude, unattractive English women or a foreign woman who may or may not be rude and/or unattractive I'll try the latter.
How could our womenfolk resist such a charmer as you? They must be somehow damaged. Perhaps, one day, they'll appreciate your incredible qualities more. Your hipness, your wit, your astonishing smarts.
Fair enough...
my profile is nowhere near an accurate reflection of who I am.
The issue is: is this OkCupid person better or worse than the people I could meet in person through ordinary life? Given that I'm living in a town with a fair number of interesting young people, that's a relevant question.
Fair enough...
my profile is nowhere near an accurate reflection of who I am.
The issue is: is this OkCupid person better or worse than the people I could meet in person through ordinary life? Given that I'm living in a town with a fair number of interesting young people, that's a relevant question.
What really matters is whether you're more comfortable meeting people through the internet or by approaching them in person.
I like to think of OKcupid profiles as though they're that friend who really likes to set people s/he knows up on blind dates.
"Hey, you and X should go out! You both like video games and riding bikes and knitting or whatever, you'll be a great fit!"
and sometimes it works, but most of the time it turns out your romantic compatibility has almost nothing to do with whether or not you both liked Magnolia
Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
it was the smallest on the list but
Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
Honestly, I find it better to meet people in real life after spending months on OKC. You know that feeling of adrenaline you get when you first talk to a cute girl? You don't get that on the internet. You don't get to see her smile when you make her laugh when you first talk with each other.
Posts
show, don't tell
but yes, you want to give people some inclination
Flesh it out differently. Think about what you'd like to read. In the "things you think about" section you have a laundry list, which is perhaps fair as many of us think about a lot of things, but perhaps a better way to think of that section is "a thing I think I would talk about on a date." So "snippets of the Great American Novel I'm constructing in my head but have never written, due to all the math I actually write" is more interesting than "Politics, puppies, penpals, and porcupines." The second is more enigmatic (and thus what most people tend to write, because they're trying to be coy or mysterious).
Even staying with Politics, which is your first thing in that list. "Politics" is meaningless. Perhaps you think about "why the Obama administration, which I voted for, has tried so hard to be bipartisan with a party that simply wants it to fail" or "why the Obama administration, which I did not vote for, is working so hard to wreck our economy."
One or two lines that gives a little more flavor to your personality and interests (and by interests I really mean opinions on those interests) is going to get you better responses than a very long list of details about your life and likes. As a female you will probably get a fair amount of messages anyway, but by being concise about yourself you'll help dudes who are into the same things see what you're about -- and potentially prevent dudes who are opposites into messaging you at all (which I assume is a good thing).
big ladies need love
I put an ad on a Craiglist-like site. Got a reply from some Korean woman. We exchanged a few emails. She made a lot of references to America.
By the way, in all of my ads I mentioned that I'm an American. This is a big selling point if you're in a country other than America. I also always mentioned that I'm tall because the chicks dig tall men. Couple of pro tips there for you.
So yeah, we agreed to meet up outside of some train station. Another aside here, if I may. I never used internet dating in the US so I don't know how it's usually done there. But in London, I don't have a car and most people don't and you're meeting up with strangers from the internet so train (or more specifically underground/subway) stations are where people usually meet. Even when it's somebody you know, you typically meet at an agreed underground station. Little cultural information then.
Met this Korean woman then. Not a looker. She had a few years on me as well.
We walked through Hyde Park. We saw some memorial to Princess Diana. It was a wall with like flowers and notes and pictures on it. This woman mentioned that she didn't think Diana was all that attractive. I agreed. It always struck me as kind of odd that she was considered some hot babe that people wanted to fornicate with. So yeah, me and this Korean woman had a mutual lack of appreciation for Diana Spencer's physical appearance.
My phone rang a few times and I realised that it was an employment agency that I recently went to. So I apologised and told this woman that I have to call them because they might have a job interview or something. I called and they said that I can start working at some crappy mental health clinic next week. So this must have been...early 2008. It was one of the last internet dates that I had.
I'm padding this out because nothing much happened on the "date".
She had to go to the bank. She asked if I would mind hanging out in a store or something while she went to the bank. Maybe this is normal, but I found it slightly odd. But yeah, I checked out the books at some chain book store for a while then we met up again when she was done.
Also odd is I asked what kind of work she did and she just said she was self-employed. I inquired further but she refused to answer. Well, whatever. Just trying to make conversation, lady.
She wanted to go to Whole Food. They recently opened a Whole Food in London. She asked if I ever went to Whole Food in the US, but no. I never even heard of it. I think it's a California thing.
Loads of questions and stories about the US. She mentioned this in her emails too. A lot of bullshit about America. She wanted my opinion on Bill Clinton and all this nonsense.
Another aside. It's annoying as fuck having to field questions about America. I have other interests. But you're always "that American guy" when you're abroad. It's the single most unpleasant facet of living in another country. In the US, I'm "that hip guy", "that clever guy", "that witty guy", and so forth. But that's all mooted by the country of your birth when you live abroad.
Similarly, when going out with foreign women be prepared to hear every boring detail of "their" country. I never do this myself because I figure, "Who gives a fuck?" But people will tell you all the boring crap about Japan or Korea or Estonia or whatever. These people are perpetuating the very thing I was complaining about in my previous paragraph. Don't they have other interests? Is their identity comprised entirely of their nationality? When they were living in Japan (for example) did they never shut up about the cherry blossom festivals and the geishas and Super Famicom and generally how great Japan is? That would be completely bizarre. But when abroad, it becomes acceptable to do that for many people.
So I'm at Whole Food. It's okay. Ridiculously expensive. It's just a big over-priced grocery store with like a cafeteria area and a place to sit down. Quite a few people there. We talk about Bill Clinton. She thinks he aged a lot. I suggest it was a stressful job. This sort of boring crap.
She says that she met some other guys from the internet. Some Australian guys. She says this is the last time she's going to meet guys off the internet, though.
Then I don't know. After a while, we left and I think we decided to end the "date". We never contacted each other again.
As for Whole Food, a year or two ago, I started to see news stories about how this Whole Food is doing quite poorly. People aren't taking to it. There's just this one location in London, I think. Maybe another one too. But yeah, people don't want to buy over-priced groceries in a pretentious environment apparently. Go figure.
sorry your date went so shittily, though
also, whole foods is massively successful- there are over 280 stores, between america and the uk
"Do you want to hang out?"
"Do you want to go get coffee sometime?"
"Do you want to touch my peepee?"
"let me find out"
Well, if that's what you're into that's fine. I'm sure there are loads of desperate women on the internet who will have sex with strange men. But I'm not looking for casual sex with loads of desperate gals. Call me nutty, but I'm into meaningful relationships.
I don't get the foreigner bashing that I've seen occasionally in response to my messages. I'm an immigrant myself so better identify with other immigrants. We're a worldly, well-traveled, sophisticated sort. And the British women...holy crap. They're highly unpleasant and not the most attractive people on earth (to put it mildly).
As for coffee, "Are you up for getting some coffee or something?" is my smooth line on the internet.
Also, apparently only five Whole Foods stores in the UK. And they're not doing well.
surprise, surprise- i'm not into casual sex with loads of desperate gals, either!
both experiences were past the first date. both women were independent college graduates. both women make more money and are better looking than me.
i've lived in asia, europe, and north america. i'm not foreign bashing. i'm parodying your inclination to put down all of these women. you regularly assert that female internet daters are almost universally unattractive, desperate, and totally strange (often in their cultural eccentricities, relative to your position).
so i'm telling you that other people (myself included) are finding attractive, ambitious, relatable women who are looking at the internet as a viable option for romantic connections.
On the other hand, she's hot and blond, so...
Electronic composer for hire.
he spent some time in vietnam a decade ago.
What a deal breaker.
i know that sounds like a dumb reason to message, but im in Florida and the this is the hat
Though I have been tempted to purchase a Jayne special for quite some time.
Edit; though I think Richy lives in the region, so he's got hat enough for both of us.
Rockin' the black toque erryday.
Edit part deux: AHEM.
<
I AM AMERICAN DID YOU HEAR ME I AM AMERICAN.
JESUS CHRIST STOP WITH TALKING ABOUT ME BEING AN AMERICAN WHO CARES AND BY THE WAY DID I TELL YOU I'M AN AMERICAN?
This need no comment and is almost sig-worthy.
Choose Your Own Chat 1 Choose Your Own Chat 2 Choose Your Own Chat 3
Electronic composer for hire.
I'd probably hang out with you if i lived in Toronto
tell me what do to, bros.
I'd prefer if you'd differentiate your stories from mine a little more in the future, thanks buddy.
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
See, I would just not be into that person.
Difference between men and women, I guess.
http://numberblog.wordpress.com/
Hey at least shes not talking so that everything sounds like a question?
Where everything she says has an upward inflection?
God, I find that annoying?
So far all my meetings with other PA people have been quite enjoyable so I'm going to go ahead and assume you won't leave my raped to death corpse along the side of the road.
Meaning yes, that sounds like fun. However, St. Charles is kind of out of the way for me. Do you spend much time in the city?
Should I do it on OkC or FB?
I have an aversion to using facebook as a dating site though
Gumtree but they no longer have a dating section.
My stories are real.
Pretty sure all of these women were here legally, but even if they weren't that's no problem of mine. Complaining about "illegals" is a typical reactionary sentiment, the sort often expressed by your fellow Southerners.
There's also loads of immigrants in London so you don't have to seek them out. I read it's 30% immigrants but I think that's a really conservative estimate. So it's a choice between rude, unattractive English women or a foreign woman who may or may not be rude and/or unattractive I'll try the latter.
As someone who is not photogenic in the least and whose inflection/meaning/sarcasm has been misinterpreted through text on numerous occasions I tend to give people a pretty good benefit of the doubt in some areas. This is a bit much, but still hardly a deal breaker.
I mean, do you really consider your profile to be a wholly accurate reflection of yourself? Why would you think that of others?
I'm not sure what ending every sentence with an exclamation point means in that context.
Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
How could our womenfolk resist such a charmer as you? They must be somehow damaged. Perhaps, one day, they'll appreciate your incredible qualities more. Your hipness, your wit, your astonishing smarts.
We can but dream.
Choose Your Own Chat 1 Choose Your Own Chat 2 Choose Your Own Chat 3
my profile is nowhere near an accurate reflection of who I am.
The issue is: is this OkCupid person better or worse than the people I could meet in person through ordinary life? Given that I'm living in a town with a fair number of interesting young people, that's a relevant question.
http://numberblog.wordpress.com/
What really matters is whether you're more comfortable meeting people through the internet or by approaching them in person.
https://twitter.com/Hooraydiation
It's not supposed to be
"Hey, you and X should go out! You both like video games and riding bikes and knitting or whatever, you'll be a great fit!"
and sometimes it works, but most of the time it turns out your romantic compatibility has almost nothing to do with whether or not you both liked Magnolia
Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
Electronic composer for hire.