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Why don't Americans use bidets?

13

Posts

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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    washing your bum after taking a dump is not something that should be weird on any planet

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    FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    love me, love my bidet

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    XehalusXehalus Registered User regular
    bidet-beer_thumb%5B5%5D.jpg

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    EndEnd Registered User regular
    what about in space

    isn't it always weird in space

    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
    zaleiria-by-lexxy-sig.jpg
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    I never knew some people wiped while standing up till I read a debate online about it. Why would people do that? Also apparently both sides are ignorant of the other

    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
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    theSquidtheSquid Sydney, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    -Tal wrote: »
    and like, what's the accuracy of a bidet here

    the width of its stream and whatnot

    does it shoot right into my butt or just splash the general area

    mine has a tiny camera on the inside and a screen with a reticle and a joystick for aiming.

    But for seriously the Japanese bidets have full on laser targeting ai to get right in there.

    I want to meet the guy who programmed that, its possible he's kept in a padded room now.

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    XehalusXehalus Registered User regular
    could probably be cleaning my bum a lot better

    externally and internally

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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Kochikens wrote: »
    larlar its not the dutch peoples fault



    its ze Germans
    its their fucked up invention so that they can sift around their poop and see if its good and healthy or not and because they like playing with stool

    I also hate them but they're the only toilets I've encountered which don't have any splashback.

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    Viscount IslandsViscount Islands [INSERT SoKo HERE] ...it was the summer of my lifeRegistered User regular
    Avoiding splashback is all about technique. Length, angle of entry, etc

    I want to do with you
    What spring does with the cherry trees.
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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    Butters wrote: »
    Solution: wet wipes

    nevillexmassig1.png
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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Not good if you have sensitive skin.

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    Chicago JoeChicago Joe jeezy petes! (not actually in Chicago anymore)Registered User regular
    Viscount Islands wrote: »
    Could one conceivably get off with a bidet like a woman might with a showerhead?

    to the laboratory!

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    TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    Chicago Joe who are you

    sig.png
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    Viscount IslandsViscount Islands [INSERT SoKo HERE] ...it was the summer of my lifeRegistered User regular
    The man who will discover the truth and save a nation.

    I want to do with you
    What spring does with the cherry trees.
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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    theSquid wrote: »
    TheStig wrote: »
    -Tal wrote: »
    and like, what's the accuracy of a bidet here

    the width of its stream and whatnot

    does it shoot right into my butt or just splash the general area

    mine has a tiny camera on the inside and a screen with a reticle and a joystick for aiming.

    But for seriously the Japanese bidets have full on laser targeting ai to get right in there.

    I want to meet the guy who programmed that, its possible he's kept in a padded room now.

    In Japan? More likely he made a national hero.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    oh

    that's pretty cool

    sig.png
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    TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    theSquid wrote: »
    TheStig wrote: »
    -Tal wrote: »
    and like, what's the accuracy of a bidet here

    the width of its stream and whatnot

    does it shoot right into my butt or just splash the general area

    mine has a tiny camera on the inside and a screen with a reticle and a joystick for aiming.

    But for seriously the Japanese bidets have full on laser targeting ai to get right in there.

    I want to meet the guy who programmed that, its possible he's kept in a padded room now.

    In Japan? More likely he made a national hero.

    I bet they didn't even have to pay him

    sig.png
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    IsoldaeIsoldae Hats Off To JigglypuffRegistered User regular
    Platypus Beirut wrote: »
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ73hLQ64Ng

    I

    Love

    Zizek

    xet8c.gif
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    KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    theSquid wrote: »
    TheStig wrote: »
    -Tal wrote: »
    and like, what's the accuracy of a bidet here

    the width of its stream and whatnot

    does it shoot right into my butt or just splash the general area

    mine has a tiny camera on the inside and a screen with a reticle and a joystick for aiming.

    But for seriously the Japanese bidets have full on laser targeting ai to get right in there.

    I want to meet the guy who programmed that, its possible he's kept in a padded room now.

    In Japan? More likely he made a national hero.

    Most Honorable Inventor Of Computer Butthole Recognition Systems

    Twitter
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    tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    Xehalus wrote: »
    would rather go through more toilet paper because I fold it 4 times and wipe like I'm sanding

    than feel the awkwardness of a bidet

    oh god why

    if you use any sort of toilet paper it will disintegrate and become one with your butt pubes

    66OoDuJ.jpg
    STEAM!
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    Chicago JoeChicago Joe jeezy petes! (not actually in Chicago anymore)Registered User regular
    uh I am just this guy, you know?

    I am a chicago expat living in the uk. I do science for a living, so going off to do stuff to my butt is pretty much all in a days work.

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    tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    was it here where someone told the story of them shaving their buttpubes for the first time, except then it was a hot day and he started sweating a lot so he had to goatse in front of a fan to cool off/dry his butthole/taint

    66OoDuJ.jpg
    STEAM!
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    UbikUbik oh pete, that's later. maybe we'll be dead by then Registered User regular
    Antimatter wrote: »
    YXRlg.png
    the hell is going on here

    Rectangular Ship

    duh

    l8e1peic77w3.jpg

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    Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    I can only shit in holes dug in the ground.

    I've carried a trench tool the whole of my life because of that.

    It's for Nazis too, but we don't really have to go into that.

    Macro9 on
    58pwo4vxupcr.png
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    HandfalconHandfalcon Registered User regular
    This thread is relevant to my interests.

    Where I poop being an interest of mine.

    steam_sig.png
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    DurkhanusDurkhanus Commander Registered User regular
    Don't you guys use the three seashells?

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    tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    ae91c228.png

    66OoDuJ.jpg
    STEAM!
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    DHS OdiumDHS Odium Registered User regular
    Rejoice: http://www.amazon.com/Joy-Bidet-Non-Electric-Attachment-Introductory/dp/B0043D3ANE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343599662&sr=8-1&keywords=joy+bidet

    Wii U: DHS-Odium // Live: DHS Odium // PSN: DHSOdium // Steam: dhsykes // 3DS: 0318-6615-5294
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    mensch-o-maticmensch-o-matic Registered User regular
    i always worry that one day i will poop right on a bidet and it will spray horrible poopwater right back into my butt

    also, to avoid splashback simply place a few flat squares of toiletpaper in the water before going at it

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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Durkhanus wrote: »
    Don't you guys use the three seashells?

    No I just get enough tickets from swearing in public and use them.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    DHS OdiumDHS Odium Registered User regular
    ugh, the bidet i have you cant poop on, it hides and only comes out when you turn the dial to power wash that anus. you people are so uninformed in the ways of butt cleanliness.

    Wii U: DHS-Odium // Live: DHS Odium // PSN: DHSOdium // Steam: dhsykes // 3DS: 0318-6615-5294
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    animal companionanimal companion xenomortis Registered User regular
    this is the saddest, thinnest veil for a poop thread.

    VdxNI.jpg
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    Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    animal companion wrote: »
    this is the saddest, thinnest veil for a poop thread.
    it's only 1-ply

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    mensch-o-maticmensch-o-matic Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    also a toilet hurls gross particles all around your house when you flush and i can only imagine bidets make it worse

    just a firehose up your wazoocle, directly hitting the poomembrane, splashing at it, carving at it, creating beautiful stalagshits inside of your gracious body

    and then the water all splattering all over your quaint european rooms and halls

    some on your cat

    anyway god bless america

    mensch-o-matic on
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    BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    So are you expected to keep like a spatula in the bathroom to check your poops with that shelf toilet?

    Battletag BYToady#1454
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    ordered that bidet

    i will report on my findings wednesday

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    tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    you guys ever been in a public toilet

    and the toilet was so powerful the shit actually exploded back at you

    66OoDuJ.jpg
    STEAM!
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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    don't flush while you're still sitting on it

    that's gross

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    don't flush while you're still sitting on it

    that's gross

    no i was standing. It flushed with enough force to throw shit 5ft in the air

    they mightve had an issue

    66OoDuJ.jpg
    STEAM!
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    Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    it's basically a titanic internal struggle for me every time i have to use a public restroom.

    do i use it and address my fears of everyone hearing me poo, or do i just clench and try to wait it out?

This discussion has been closed.
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