BeastehTHAT WOULD NOTKILL DRACULARegistered Userregular
edited October 2018
my gran is on the way out
sep 30th she had a bad fall being in a room she had no business being in, especially at 4am, she fractures her hip and has multiple heart attacks before she is found
ambulance is delayed by several hours, she eventually get sent to hospital and put in a heart ward
her condition doesn't improve and she gets shunted onto the elderly ward where she has been for the last week, surrounded by screaming strangers
i spoke to her doctor and have been advised to send her home with palliative care in place, make her comfortable and call my entire family to come and say their goodbyes
My mother is one fall away from that same situation Beasteh.
She’s destroying her own health by refusing to eat, refusing to eat healthy when she does eat, refusing to follow her doctors orders or listen to anyone.
She is having some memory problems but that could very well be linked to how malnourished she’s become and her continuing weight loss. Her kidneys are barely hanging in because of this.
She skips breakfast or has a little yogurt, for lunch every day it’s either a tiny amount of almond butter and some sliced banana or one piece of Swiss cheese and one pickle between two slices of bread.
Then dad says she just picks at dinner.
You literally can’t get her to eat anything else for lunch. It’s become some kind of compulsion with her. She feels obligated to eat that regular meal and cannot deviate even for things she loved to eat before this started.
She doesn’t understand that her doctor wants her to eat differently but more importantly eat more. Dad won’t do anything and I can’t do anything and I’m just watching her kill herself.
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BeastehTHAT WOULD NOTKILL DRACULARegistered Userregular
My Gran developed this compulsion toward the end where she always leaves half of any food you give her no matter how small
Just sits back with a quiet defeated voice and says 'I ain't got no appetite'
My grandfather just feel and broke his hip. My mom was saying that they gave him an anti-stroke medicine when he came in, even though they later found out it wasn't a stroke, because the sooner the better with that. And then they had to eat for that to clear his system before they started working on his hip. Mom flew out to see him yesterday, so now I get to wait and see if I need to fly out and see him.
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
I’ll probably be the kind of old person that keeps trying to do things I know I shouldn’t. It doesn’t make it better knowing that ahead of time, but man. I get it. Sometimes it’s easy to feel like dignity is worth more than health.
Sorry about your Gran, Beasteh. It’s never easy even when you know it’s coming.
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Blackhawk1313Demon Hunter for HireTime RiftRegistered Userregular
Still alive, neither Andrew or Michael succeeded in taking me out.
My grandfather feel and broke his hip last week. He wasn't doing well in the hospital, and was moved to hospice this week.
Passed away this afternoon.
He lived in Washington state, but I had entertained the idea of flying there from NY earlier, because I knew he wasn't going to do well. But then I convinced myself he would be fine, as a flight would have been expensive, and I was way too busy at home and work.
My mom, who lives in Colorado, was coincidentally in Washington for a vacation and to celebrate her birthday. She was glad to be there, but what a birthday...
I can't seem to get ahold of her on the phone to figure out what's next, but I'm not too concerned as she is probably busy and may not be worrying about her phone right now. Now to wait and see when I can get ahold of her..
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
BeastehTHAT WOULD NOTKILL DRACULARegistered Userregular
Had her funeral today (in the church where she got married, also where my parents married)
It was pretty sad! Glad it's over
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Goose!That's me, honeyShow me the way home, honeyRegistered Userregular
Just had a nice doozy of a bombshell moment happen tonight. Gonna go in spoiler tags
My parents have always been a bit rocky. The worst of it was when I was really young but as I got older it seemed to improve. But it hit a low point about 6 years ago and my mother was very seriously thinking about leaving my father. We had been looking for apartments even. But they went to therapy and things sort of resolved and even somewhat improved back to the regular amount of rocky stuff. And now they've hit bottom again. I don't wanna get too deep into it but it involves infidelity. This becomes a bigger issue for me because I still live at home. I had been planning on moving out next year. Now I might have to start looking at places starting tomorrow. But really, I'm worried and feel bad for my mother. I wanted to write more but I don't even know what to say.
Just had a nice doozy of a bombshell moment happen tonight. Gonna go in spoiler tags
My parents have always been a bit rocky. The worst of it was when I was really young but as I got older it seemed to improve. But it hit a low point about 6 years ago and my mother was very seriously thinking about leaving my father. We had been looking for apartments even. But they went to therapy and things sort of resolved and even somewhat improved back to the regular amount of rocky stuff. And now they've hit bottom again. I don't wanna get too deep into it but it involves infidelity. This becomes a bigger issue for me because I still live at home. I had been planning on moving out next year. Now I might have to start looking at places starting tomorrow. But really, I'm worried and feel bad for my mother. I wanted to write more but I don't even know what to say.
Sorry man. My dad cheated on my mom on multiple occasions and they divorced when I was in college. There’s no comparison between individual instances of infidelity and/or parents getting divorced, but I know it really fucking sucks and I’m sorry you have to go through it. Having to move is the cherry on the shit sundae, I’m sure.
My 94-year-old paternal Grandpa has pneumonia and his kidneys are failing, so he isn’t expected to survive until Christmas. It just really sucks being so far away and knowing there’s no real possibility of me making it to see him/attend his funeral.
Just received word that my grandpa passed away a few hours ago.
On the bright side, my aunt had taken him from the nursing home a week and a half ago, so he died with family nearby. He was suffering from Alzheimer's, but had been having a good few days before he passed.
And that's my last grandparent. Glad I'll get to go home and see my family next weekend.
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Blackhawk1313Demon Hunter for HireTime RiftRegistered Userregular
edited December 2018
First the bad news: post Hurricane Michael shit remains awful, the city is an absolute mess, the insurance company is still fighting our roofer on what should be repaired, over 800 people in healthcare become jobless in the past week, my FIL had to have back surgery and had complications that kept him in the hospital for two weeks, my MIL loses her job at the end of the year, my uncle in law still has terminal cancer, my classrooms were ruined, my students are scattered across the tri-state area, and because of the job situation and no one available for NP clinicals, my wife was forced to take a travel nursing job in Orlando so she’s gone for 3 months.
My old PhD supervisor is extremely sick with bladder cancer; I'm ... very anxious and worried and finding it hard to process for a variety of reasons.
It would be really nice to go a year without losing someone.
My dad died this past spring (fuck cancer). He was a great guy and everyone loved him. He is frequently described as a favourite brother or favourite uncle. They even joke that he was Nan's favourite son. He also LOVED Christmas and celebrated it heartily.
So my entire extended family is going to really miss his presence this year but only Mom, my brother, and I have to get up and open gifts without him. I half-jokingly suggested skipping Christmas and going on a trip but nooo we have to push through and have Christmas like normal. It's going to suck. I'm looking forward to Dec 27 when I come back home and it's all over.
Any tips on surviving the first Christmas without a family member? I know I'm not the only one going through this same thing. Do we proceed as normal and do everything that we would normally do? It seems stupid to tear open some wrapping paper and be like "yayyy an Instapot!"
Normally we always held a big drop-by Christmas lunch at my parents house, where all their friends would come by casually for a drink or what have you.
Obviously we didn't want to do that last year, so we ended up booking lunch at a nice restaurant in the countryside, which was ok. I think this year we're going to do a riverside picnic, but that's probably not an option in this hemisphere
My general advice would be, don't try and replicate the rituals they were part of, it's a recipe for generalised sadness. Do something different, but set aside a specific space for remembrance - a toast, lighting candles, listening to a favorite song, whatever you think they'd appreciate.
This will be the first christmas since my dad died, and my sister offered to book me flights to England to spend it with her and her boyfriend. My brother seemed fine with spending christmas alone. But near the end of november, he collapsed, vomiting blood when getting up from a nap (after already vomiting blood that morning). I had to convince him to go with the ambulance to the hospital, where they found his blood level was extremely low due to blood loss and he was eventually diagnosed with some sort of lymphoma. He spend a few weeks in hospital and had his first chemo treatment, hes got out last friday and has an appointment tomorrow for the second treatment. He still seems fine to be alone this christmas, and our sister had already booked the flights before he collapsed, but I feel bad leaving him alone.
Also, why do some people need to be convinced to get help when they really need it? We live in Ireland, and yes, he's already got two bills (since he was in two hospitals), one for 600 and the other for 800, it looks good that he will get the medical card and not have to pay these bills. But there were signs for a while now that something was wrong, like strange lumps on his head that just showed up months and never went away until he got treated. If he had just gone to a gp, maybe he could have been helped before throwing up blood and almost dying.
This will be the first christmas since my dad died, and my sister offered to book me flights to England to spend it with her and her boyfriend. My brother seemed fine with spending christmas alone. But near the end of november, he collapsed, vomiting blood when getting up from a nap (after already vomiting blood that morning). I had to convince him to go with the ambulance to the hospital, where they found his blood level was extremely low due to blood loss and he was eventually diagnosed with some sort of lymphoma. He spend a few weeks in hospital and had his first chemo treatment, hes got out last friday and has an appointment tomorrow for the second treatment. He still seems fine to be alone this christmas, and our sister had already booked the flights before he collapsed, but I feel bad leaving him alone.
Also, why do some people need to be convinced to get help when they really need it? We live in Ireland, and yes, he's already got two bills (since he was in two hospitals), one for 600 and the other for 800, it looks good that he will get the medical card and not have to pay these bills. But there were signs for a while now that something was wrong, like strange lumps on his head that just showed up months and never went away until he got treated. If he had just gone to a gp, maybe he could have been helped before throwing up blood and almost dying.
Crap, that's awful SJ.
As to why some people do this, I'm armchair-psychologising here but going to a doctor probably trips some very primal and unhelpful instincts for a lot of people. Even admitting you're ill can feel like a show of weakness; then add to that the fact that going to the hospital means surrendering a degree of control over your body to strangers, and top it off with the fact that being told you have an illness feels bad in and of itself and we humans don't like doing things that feel bad. There's a whole lot for our hindbrains to fuck us over with there.
It’s times like these that I’m glad I’m estranged from my father, who will be dying of cancer very soon
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TonkkaSome one in the club tonightHas stolen my ideas.Registered Userregular
So, it's been a couple weeks since visiting my mom for her birthday, and. . .
I can't get over how all these people decided that it was an opportunity to talk about themselves and avoid how her brain doesn't work anymore. I understand that it's like coping mechanisms and shit, but there was no talk regarding how they related to my mom's life experience other than "oh yeah I met Mary this way".
Shit, it's been 30 years since my mom died from anyphilactic shock today. I was three years old at the time, so I don't have any memories of her. Hell, if it wasn't for my aunt posting a lovingly crafted tribute on Facebook, I would never had known. All my relatives are posting memories and pictures of her.
So why am I crying for a person I can't remember, who I don't even know? I feel like I've let her down because aside from one fuzzy memory (which may have not even been real, due to memories being weird), she's this big black hole in my life. My dad never talks about her, hell, he remarried a little over a year after her death, so I never felt comfortable talking to him about her. And even though I have a lot of my relatives on my moms side on Facebook, I was never close to them after my mom's passing, due to our family moving away.
I did find out that her organs were able to be used for transplants, so I'm glad she was able to help people even after passing.
We’re connected to the people who gave us life, even if we’re estranged or never knew them. Your feelings are perfectly understandable. *hugs*
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
My brother is happy.
For anybody with any memory of random internet people, this will be a shock to you.
He has found a lady. They've known each other for about twenty years or so, but only recently reconnected.
He called on Facebook at 1130pm last night and for once his rambling was positive.
So somewhere between this girl and the antidepressants that he's finally taking (add in my father actually got him a prescription for them after 20 years of declaring such things bullshit and depression not a real thing), things are looking better for the brother.
Mom texted me a happy b-day message that concluded with her telling me that she was in the hospital for pneumonia.
Classic Mom.
Oh, I also had to close the kitchen on the second night of a particular sporting event *weekend* where we 86'd about a third of the menu. On a Friday.
Produce and product (two separate orders) show up on Monday.
I wonder how quickly we're going to run out of things to serve by my Sunday closing shift.
:whistle: Happy Birthday to me :whistle:
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My Explorer died about three weeks ago due to an electrical issue, some sort of master control board (like a motherboard) that goes on the fritz with vehicles of that make, model and age. I can't afford to buy a used car off of CARMAX or any other local place, and I absolutely will not risk a Craigslist lemon. The parts are ... affordable-ish, but the labor is like, whoo-doogies. Better to just scrap it at this point.
*as an aside, I once went in to replace the factory stereo with the cheapest CD/USB player on the market and the technician told me not to bother because the labor cost was almost ten times the stereo unit itself. That's how fucked the electrical system is from the factory.*
My GM offered me a payday advance and I outright refused; I won't fall into that perpetual trap, I've seen too many people get themselves twisted up in that bullshit. She meant well, and respected my decision immediately, so I know she wasn't trying to rope me into something, she was just trying to throw me a rope; she's a damn fine human being.
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So, here I am, no way to get to SouthPAX, tickets to the con I can't afford, and a 65-year-old mother who has chain-smoked for 47 years in the hospital with pneumonia.
:whistle: Happy Birthday to me :whistle:
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Incidentally, I had to have my god-daughter tell me that the CD that was stuck in the console wasn't Avril Lavigne, but instead, Taylor Swift.
Posts
my non-medical opinion is that he has an incurable condition called "being 68" but I guess we'll see.
My sister-in-law’s family is also in the path - but pretty far inland, so their main concern is flooding rather than winds.
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
sep 30th she had a bad fall being in a room she had no business being in, especially at 4am, she fractures her hip and has multiple heart attacks before she is found
ambulance is delayed by several hours, she eventually get sent to hospital and put in a heart ward
her condition doesn't improve and she gets shunted onto the elderly ward where she has been for the last week, surrounded by screaming strangers
i spoke to her doctor and have been advised to send her home with palliative care in place, make her comfortable and call my entire family to come and say their goodbyes
im pretty fucking wrecked about this!!!
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
She’s destroying her own health by refusing to eat, refusing to eat healthy when she does eat, refusing to follow her doctors orders or listen to anyone.
She is having some memory problems but that could very well be linked to how malnourished she’s become and her continuing weight loss. Her kidneys are barely hanging in because of this.
She skips breakfast or has a little yogurt, for lunch every day it’s either a tiny amount of almond butter and some sliced banana or one piece of Swiss cheese and one pickle between two slices of bread.
Then dad says she just picks at dinner.
You literally can’t get her to eat anything else for lunch. It’s become some kind of compulsion with her. She feels obligated to eat that regular meal and cannot deviate even for things she loved to eat before this started.
She doesn’t understand that her doctor wants her to eat differently but more importantly eat more. Dad won’t do anything and I can’t do anything and I’m just watching her kill herself.
Just sits back with a quiet defeated voice and says 'I ain't got no appetite'
Sorry about your Gran, Beasteh. It’s never easy even when you know it’s coming.
Passed away this afternoon.
He lived in Washington state, but I had entertained the idea of flying there from NY earlier, because I knew he wasn't going to do well. But then I convinced myself he would be fine, as a flight would have been expensive, and I was way too busy at home and work.
My mom, who lives in Colorado, was coincidentally in Washington for a vacation and to celebrate her birthday. She was glad to be there, but what a birthday...
I can't seem to get ahold of her on the phone to figure out what's next, but I'm not too concerned as she is probably busy and may not be worrying about her phone right now. Now to wait and see when I can get ahold of her..
I'm sorry
She spent exactly a month in hospital and rapidly deteriorated these last few days
Kind of relieved that's over because it was emotionally exhausting and it really hurt to see her go downhill
I know you’ve been having a rough time of it
It was pretty sad! Glad it's over
Sorry man. My dad cheated on my mom on multiple occasions and they divorced when I was in college. There’s no comparison between individual instances of infidelity and/or parents getting divorced, but I know it really fucking sucks and I’m sorry you have to go through it. Having to move is the cherry on the shit sundae, I’m sure.
On the bright side, my aunt had taken him from the nursing home a week and a half ago, so he died with family nearby. He was suffering from Alzheimer's, but had been having a good few days before he passed.
And that's my last grandparent. Glad I'll get to go home and see my family next weekend.
The good news:
My grandpa passed away this morning, he was also surrounded by family and it sounds as if it was peaceful. I don’t know what to say to my dad.
Hugs all around you three
I'm sorry =(
It would be really nice to go a year without losing someone.
This has been by far the happiest and most engaged I have ever seen him with work, and I just hate that it's been taken away from him.
Forever!
So my entire extended family is going to really miss his presence this year but only Mom, my brother, and I have to get up and open gifts without him. I half-jokingly suggested skipping Christmas and going on a trip but nooo we have to push through and have Christmas like normal. It's going to suck. I'm looking forward to Dec 27 when I come back home and it's all over.
Any tips on surviving the first Christmas without a family member? I know I'm not the only one going through this same thing. Do we proceed as normal and do everything that we would normally do? It seems stupid to tear open some wrapping paper and be like "yayyy an Instapot!"
Obviously we didn't want to do that last year, so we ended up booking lunch at a nice restaurant in the countryside, which was ok. I think this year we're going to do a riverside picnic, but that's probably not an option in this hemisphere
My general advice would be, don't try and replicate the rituals they were part of, it's a recipe for generalised sadness. Do something different, but set aside a specific space for remembrance - a toast, lighting candles, listening to a favorite song, whatever you think they'd appreciate.
edit: Rememberable? good job, phone
Still unpacking all those emotions and interactions while trying to find a new home.
Whoooooole lotta dumb shit all at once?
GO.
Also, why do some people need to be convinced to get help when they really need it? We live in Ireland, and yes, he's already got two bills (since he was in two hospitals), one for 600 and the other for 800, it looks good that he will get the medical card and not have to pay these bills. But there were signs for a while now that something was wrong, like strange lumps on his head that just showed up months and never went away until he got treated. If he had just gone to a gp, maybe he could have been helped before throwing up blood and almost dying.
Crap, that's awful SJ.
As to why some people do this, I'm armchair-psychologising here but going to a doctor probably trips some very primal and unhelpful instincts for a lot of people. Even admitting you're ill can feel like a show of weakness; then add to that the fact that going to the hospital means surrendering a degree of control over your body to strangers, and top it off with the fact that being told you have an illness feels bad in and of itself and we humans don't like doing things that feel bad. There's a whole lot for our hindbrains to fuck us over with there.
I can't get over how all these people decided that it was an opportunity to talk about themselves and avoid how her brain doesn't work anymore. I understand that it's like coping mechanisms and shit, but there was no talk regarding how they related to my mom's life experience other than "oh yeah I met Mary this way".
So yeah now I'm mad all over again.
So why am I crying for a person I can't remember, who I don't even know? I feel like I've let her down because aside from one fuzzy memory (which may have not even been real, due to memories being weird), she's this big black hole in my life. My dad never talks about her, hell, he remarried a little over a year after her death, so I never felt comfortable talking to him about her. And even though I have a lot of my relatives on my moms side on Facebook, I was never close to them after my mom's passing, due to our family moving away.
I did find out that her organs were able to be used for transplants, so I'm glad she was able to help people even after passing.
WoW
Dear Satan.....
For anybody with any memory of random internet people, this will be a shock to you.
He has found a lady. They've known each other for about twenty years or so, but only recently reconnected.
He called on Facebook at 1130pm last night and for once his rambling was positive.
So somewhere between this girl and the antidepressants that he's finally taking (add in my father actually got him a prescription for them after 20 years of declaring such things bullshit and depression not a real thing), things are looking better for the brother.
Happy new year indeed.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Mom texted me a happy b-day message that concluded with her telling me that she was in the hospital for pneumonia.
Classic Mom.
Oh, I also had to close the kitchen on the second night of a particular sporting event *weekend* where we 86'd about a third of the menu. On a Friday.
Produce and product (two separate orders) show up on Monday.
I wonder how quickly we're going to run out of things to serve by my Sunday closing shift.
:whistle: Happy Birthday to me :whistle:
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...
My Explorer died about three weeks ago due to an electrical issue, some sort of master control board (like a motherboard) that goes on the fritz with vehicles of that make, model and age. I can't afford to buy a used car off of CARMAX or any other local place, and I absolutely will not risk a Craigslist lemon. The parts are ... affordable-ish, but the labor is like, whoo-doogies. Better to just scrap it at this point.
*as an aside, I once went in to replace the factory stereo with the cheapest CD/USB player on the market and the technician told me not to bother because the labor cost was almost ten times the stereo unit itself. That's how fucked the electrical system is from the factory.*
My GM offered me a payday advance and I outright refused; I won't fall into that perpetual trap, I've seen too many people get themselves twisted up in that bullshit. She meant well, and respected my decision immediately, so I know she wasn't trying to rope me into something, she was just trying to throw me a rope; she's a damn fine human being.
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So, here I am, no way to get to SouthPAX, tickets to the con I can't afford, and a 65-year-old mother who has chain-smoked for 47 years in the hospital with pneumonia.
:whistle: Happy Birthday to me :whistle:
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Incidentally, I had to have my god-daughter tell me that the CD that was stuck in the console wasn't Avril Lavigne, but instead, Taylor Swift.
I am not the target demographic.
For either.