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Revenge of the Strange & Embarrassing Moments

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Posts

  • TL DRTL DR Not at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    That's actually not a neat story. At all. I don't want people to poop on my stepping stool.

    I'm a clumsy person on occasion, and recently while in a hurry to get home after class I ate it really hard on the stairs. My shoes were wet from going outside in the snow, and when I went back inside for something I got the stairs wet. Coming back down, I slipped on the 3rd-to-last-stair. My feet went all the way in the air, I landed right on my ass and my books went flying all over. People just stared at me. Nobody asked me if I was okay.


    I don't know if that's an American thing or what, but people don't really interact like it seems they used to.

    I blame the media. Can't even hitchhike to a chainsaw juggling competition any more without getting the 3rd degree from Johnny Law.

    TL DR on
  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I was surprised and a little bit insulted that nobody asked. Nobody came to help me grab my books or help me up or anything. They just looked at me.

    Zombiemambo on
  • Vert1Vert1 Registered User
    edited February 2008
    Learn to do kippups.
    Name: Kippup
    Prerequisites: Athletics 2
    Manoeuvre Cost: 1 Any Style
    Usage Cost: 1 Chi
    To Hit: See Below
    Damage Bonus: See Below
    Round Movement: See Below
    Description: One of the more basic athletic manoeuvres martial artists have found useful is the Kippup. The Kippup is a technique that allows a prone fighter to get to his feet almost instantly. The fighter curls his legs up off the ground and kicks them up into the air while at the same time arching his back powerfully. The resulting motion practically bounces the fighter off the ground and to his feet.
    System: A fighter who knows the Kippup Special Manoeuvre suffers no penalty the turn after he suffers a knockdown. Kippup effect is automatic but allows no attack action that round.

    Vert1 on
  • ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Except I'd slam my head into the stair behind me and get knocked out.

    Zombiemambo on
  • TaximesTaximes Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Well, obviously the likelihood of someone helping you after a public accident is directly proportional to your physical attractiveness and the number of vaginas you have.

    I'm guessing you have no vaginas, Zombiemambo.

    Joking aside, I almost wiped out on some ice the other day, but I managed to catch my balance and instead just slid smoothly for a few feet. Instead of feeling embarrassed, I felt awesome (this, of course, comes after a multitude of other occasions where I did indeed land on my ass).

    Taximes on
  • Al_watAl_wat Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    This happened to a coworker of mine. He is from Ecuador but lives in Edmonton right now; his native language is spanish. Now at my place of work there are a lot of people whose first language is Spanish.

    Anyways, one day him and another spanish speaking coworker are walking in the office to the lunch room. Walking about ten feet in front of them is our manager who is pretty hot. So they start saying to each other, in spanish of course, "DAAAAAMN look at that ass! I'd fuck that till it was red! Ohhh man I would fuck her!".

    Next thing they know, she turns her head around and gives them the DIRTIEST look they'd ever seen.


    Yeah turns out she speaks spanish. Hahaha

    Al_wat on
  • Dark MoonDark Moon Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Taximes wrote: »
    Well, obviously the likelihood of someone helping you after a public accident is directly proportional to your physical attractiveness and the number of vaginas you have.

    I'm guessing you have no vaginas, Zombiemambo.

    Joking aside, I almost wiped out on some ice the other day, but I managed to catch my balance and instead just slid smoothly for a few feet. Instead of feeling embarrassed, I felt awesome (this, of course, comes after a multitude of other occasions where I did indeed land on my ass).

    This reminds me:

    I was out and about with my camera in my sling-pack on my back. I was in a fairly populated but very icy area, and at one point nearly slipped and fell backwards on ~$1200 worth of gear. I was so relieved when I managed to steady myself that I gave a fairly loud cry of victory, only to realize that the entire crowd had stopped and was now staring at me. They proceeded to stare while I marched out of the crowd and off to a nearby building, those impolite bastards.

    Dark Moon on
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited February 2008
    I was surprised and a little bit insulted that nobody asked. Nobody came to help me grab my books or help me up or anything. They just looked at me.

    Maybe the people where you were are a bunch of assholes. Some random dude was unloading his Staples truck in front of our building when I got to work the other day. He opened the door to the back of the truck and a box of paper fell out and hit his leg. Didn't even cross my mind before I blurted out an "Ohhh! You alright?"

    jotate on
  • LoneIgadzraLoneIgadzra Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    One time in high school I wandered blearily into the men's room at 7:30 AM, wondered why there was a girl at the sink brushing her teeth, then what the walls were doing being this odd color and all and then I woke the hell up and realized I was in the ladies' room, there was a girl staring at me, and that if I told this story to my friends they would just laugh at me, not with me and I did it anyway and sure enough it just gave me reason to hate my friends that morning.

    LoneIgadzra on
  • AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Haha, all the slipping stories.

    I'm not exactly the most careful person. I was at my friends house with a bunch of other close buddies, and when it came time to leave, I got a ride from my friend, Sean. As we were leaving, my friend told us to be careful because there was ice on the walk way.

    Him and I carfully went across the ice, and when we stepped off I thought we were home free.

    No.

    As soon as I put my foot on the drive way, my feet went up from under me, and I landed hard on my back. I just laid there for a minute thinking "God damn, this is embarrasing" but before I could completely think that last word, I looked over and his legs horizontally beside me.

    He busted his ass too, and laughs were had.

    AlyceInWonderland on
  • GreasyKidsStuffGreasyKidsStuff MOMMM! ROAST BEEF WANTS TO KISS GIRLS ON THE TITTIES!Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    My boss told me this story of what happened to a friend of his.

    First of all, it was dark. I guess he was banging this chick in the ass, and she farted. Ya, gross. She apologizes, "oops sorry teehee", whatever. So this guy's like well whatever, and keeps going at it. Well, he realises it stinks. Bad. So he turns on the light.

    Ya this girl managed to shit all over his junk. Serious.

    "GET THE FUCK OUT"

    I was told never to tell this story but it really works for parties.

    GreasyKidsStuff on
  • Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    See, this is why anal doesn't seem like some thing anyone should want, ever.
    But whatever. I'm sure it feels great. The poop, I mean.

    Local H Jay on
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  • TL DRTL DR Not at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Considerate people poop before anal sex.

    Not to say you should be shocked by a little, but that's the price you pay for 4 degrees of warmth.

    TL DR on
  • chasmchasm Ill-tempered Texan Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Not to say you should be shocked by a little, but that's the price you pay for 4 degrees of warmth.

    I'm both intrigued and frightened.

    chasm on
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    XBL : lJesse Custerl | MWO: Jesse Custer | Best vid ever. | 2nd best vid ever.
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2008
    EXIT ONLY

    Medopine on
  • agoajagoaj Top Tier One FearRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    jotate wrote: »
    meeker wrote: »
    Urinals reminded me of something.

    Friend and I went to see a basketball game at a stadium about a decade ago. We were having beers and both got up to piss at the same time. We went into the can and it was empty except for this guy trying to teach his 3-5 year old son how to use a urinal. These are the floor type urinals, and this little kid is standing there, pants around his ankles, shirt pulled up under his armpits, bare assed, pelvis thrust way out.

    He is saying, excitedly "I'm doing it Dad! I'm doing it!" while the dad is clapping. We stood there for a second before turning right around and walking out...

    Go to Walt Disney World. You'll see full grown Asian men who do that. Not usually with the excited clapping, but pants around the ankles, for sure.

    Related, I once came out of the bathroom stall proudly proclaiming that I did not touch my penis and thus did not have to wash my hands.

    agoaj on
  • EdS25EdS25 Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Love this thread, here's a couple of mine:
    1) The most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me, which also ended up being really traumatic for some reason, is when I helped a chick move. Yes, she was hot. No, we didn't. So all Ryder had was this gigantic fucking semi which I knew was probably 10x as big as we needed. I was moving her from the burbs to downtown Chicago. Well, all the way there I was pretty nervous about overhead clearances, but we made it. After unloading all her shit, I was heading back, going under the exact same L bridge I had taken on the way there. Not knowing just how close it had been the first time, and not having Professor Goddamn Layton with me to remind me about the relationship between the previous weight in the truck and the currently unloaded suspension, I suddenly heard some really ghastly screeching. Yes, I was scraping the hell out of the roof of the truck on the bridge. I was already under and still able to move tho so I just gave it a little gas and was able to get through. Of course I hit a red light just after, at which several people actually got out of their cars and applauded. Since I didn't actually get stuck, and the hippie guy at the rental place didn't care in the slightest, there were really no consequences. However, to this day I almost can't go in parking garages, even in my car, and when I'm on the highway behind fast moving trucks I have panic attacks that they're going to hit the overpasses.

    2) This one is kind of one of those embarrassing things that in the end might have actually worked out in my favor. I was completely anonymous in school, not really fitting into nerd, jock, bando, etc. stereotypes. But I could spell like the wind. So I was in our school's bee, about to launch into national fame and fortune. I think this was 6th grade. Kids were dropping like flies in the 1st round, and my first word was "schedule." I'm pretty sure I heard girls gasping when I got it right and moved to Round 2. My next one was "dough-nut." Notice how I spelled it there. Doughnut without the hyphen is technically wrong I guess. But when I got this word, in 6th grade, I incredulously said "DONUT?!?!" As in, NO I don't need you to use it in a sentence, unless it's "this fucking thing is in the bag because my piss-ass easy word is DONUT. " So I say D-O-N-U-T DONUT and pass the mic to the chick next to me in a "good fucking luck cuz I'm on fire" motion. When the teacher said "wrong" my body froze and I think that may have been the only time in my life that I've blushed. I took my seat, while kids were muttering under their breath 'isn't that right? and those girls from earlier were saying "you'd think this fat kid would know how to spell donut". The good parts about this story that I referenced earlier was I got some needed attention, I had a good laugh with a lot of various people about it, people would actually buy me Dunkin' Donuts pretty often, and the story would resurface every couple of years so these things could continue. If only he had clarified that I was to spell it in Olde English my entire life may have turned out different.

    3) Gotta end it with a poop story of course! I was on my way home from my sister's house in Minnesota which is a 7 hour drive. I was good to go for most of it, but around hour 4 I started having to duper. The homemade breakfast my sister had made for me was beginning to form a homemade 8lb food baby. I was passing a couple of really hick towns in Wisconsin and since urgency hadn't set in, I was hoping to go to a bigger chain type of place which might be clean and functional. Well, long story short I waited too long and by hour 5 had to stop, do the clenched cheek run to the john, panic run back for the key, back to the john, have that little mini seizure in my lower back as I'm trying to unbutton and lay protective barrier tp. I did actually complete all this prior to the initial blast, thank christ. I half noticed on my way in that there was only the one stall, 2 urinals and a sink.

    I don't freeze up around others like a few people I've seen on here, but my preference would certainly be privacy. A few seconds later, about 10 fucking people come in, 8 of which tried the door to the stall. They soon realize that with that many people, it's chaos, so their appointed leader organizes it so they come in 3 at a time. There got to be so many kids coming in that after the first 15 or so I was fairly sure I was being pranked. It went from annoying to curious to hilarious pretty quick. Most of them are also checking the stall, and the sink is right outside so I'm sort of covering up my junk and explaining I'm in there half the time and farting loudly and splashing the other half. With all these distractions I'm having a hard time finishing up. It didn't help that this was one of those shits that's impossible to clean, where every time you think you're making some leeway you either shit some more or you got one that's half in and half out and you're just wiping off the tip of it. I was using so much tp that I had to flush 3 times, and each time someone comes over and waits just outside the door anticipating that I'm finally almost done.

    Eventually, I've pinched it off to satisfaction, used the larger part of the 2 roll system, and get up to leave. On my way out, there's a fucking line of kids through the whole convenience store, I'd say about 25, just staring at me. These were the percentage of kids from THREE buses parked outside that still had to go number 2 and had been waiting for I'd say well over 25 minutes. I was near some ski hills at the time and my guess was a large scale school field trip to Wilmot. My emotions were, I think a mix of embarrassment and pride as some kids were just laughing and pointing but others understood that what had happened in there was truly epic.

    EdS25 on
    Currently Playing : FE:Awakening, AC:NL
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited February 2008
    Medopine wrote: »
    EXIT ONLY

    Close minded. I prefer my women to have more cognitive reasoning than that of a hinge. :P

    jotate on
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited February 2008
    Oboro posted a picture of herself in a hat in the chat thread like 10 minutes ago. I glanced at it and it looked kinda like a guy in the picture. I said "I thought Oboro was a chick."

    She is.

    I'm an asshole.

    :|

    jotate on
  • elevatureelevature Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    EdS25 wrote: »
    poop story

    I lol'd so hard. You have quite a way with words.

    Also, donut is totally correct. I would have protested that shit. If you can do that, I don't even know how spelling bees work.

    elevature on
  • GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    EdS25 wrote: »
    2) This one is kind of one of those embarrassing things that in the end might have actually worked out in my favor. I was completely anonymous in school, not really fitting into nerd, jock, bando, etc. stereotypes. But I could spell like the wind. So I was in our school's bee, about to launch into national fame and fortune. I think this was 6th grade. Kids were dropping like flies in the 1st round, and my first word was "schedule." I'm pretty sure I heard girls gasping when I got it right and moved to Round 2. My next one was "dough-nut." Notice how I spelled it there. Doughnut without the hyphen is technically wrong I guess. But when I got this word, in 6th grade, I incredulously said "DONUT?!?!" As in, NO I don't need you to use it in a sentence, unless it's "this fucking thing is in the bag because my piss-ass easy word is DONUT. " So I say D-O-N-U-T DONUT and pass the mic to the chick next to me in a "good fucking luck cuz I'm on fire" motion. When the teacher said "wrong" my body froze and I think that may have been the only time in my life that I've blushed. I took my seat, while kids were muttering under their breath 'isn't that right? and those girls from earlier were saying "you'd think this fat kid would know how to spell donut". The good parts about this story that I referenced earlier was I got some needed attention, I had a good laugh with a lot of various people about it, people would actually buy me Dunkin' Donuts pretty often, and the story would resurface every couple of years so these things could continue. If only he had clarified that I was to spell it in Olde English my entire life may have turned out different.

    I got eliminated from a spelling bee with 'lozenge'. I was and still am a pretty damn good speller, as long as I had come across the word previously. That one, though, was new to my fifth grade ears. I was quite familiar with the term 'cough drop', but not this one. I had to ask what the word was a second time. I think I attempted it with 'L-A-W-S-A-N-G-E'. Down I go. My spirit broke a little bit more. The winning word ended up being 'cupboard'. Were they kidding me? Cupboard? That is so much easier than lozenge.

    I actually misspelled that word in this post the first time I typed it out. It is an evil word.

    Gim on
  • chasmchasm Ill-tempered Texan Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I lost a spelling bee because the person announcing the words had poor pronunciation.

    chasm on
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    XBL : lJesse Custerl | MWO: Jesse Custer | Best vid ever. | 2nd best vid ever.
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2008
    jotate wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    EXIT ONLY

    Close minded. I prefer my women to have more cognitive reasoning than that of a hinge. :P

    I prefer my dudes to respect my decision to not have a penis shoved into the orifice through which I eliminate my bowels.

    EDIT: And I'm not judging anyone here. You go ahead and go for it if you're both down with it. But obviously you risk zee poop situation. It's just not something I'd like to do with my body, thanks.


    Anyone have a link to that Tucker Max epic story about doing anal for the first time?


    Ah here it is. NSFW

    Medopine on
  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    jotate wrote: »
    Oboro posted a picture of herself in a hat in the chat thread like 10 minutes ago. I glanced at it and it looked kinda like a guy in the picture. I said "I thought Oboro was a chick."

    She is.

    I'm an asshole.

    :|
    Oboro is a dude, genetically.

    Hacksaw on
  • TL DRTL DR Not at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    Oboro posted a picture of herself in a hat in the chat thread like 10 minutes ago. I glanced at it and it looked kinda like a guy in the picture. I said "I thought Oboro was a chick."

    She is.

    I'm an asshole.

    :|
    Oboro is a dude, genetically.

    That's ironic.

    No, wait. What's the word I'm looking for? The word that describes this post's relation to the thread?

    Oh yeah. Apt. That's so apt.

    TL DR on
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Medopine wrote: »
    Anyone have a link to that Tucker Max epic story about doing anal for the first time?


    Ah here it is. NSFW
    Is that for real? Because it is hilarious.

    Richy on
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2008
    Richy wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    Anyone have a link to that Tucker Max epic story about doing anal for the first time?


    Ah here it is. NSFW
    Is that for real? Because it is hilarious.

    I have my doubts about his stories. He claims he NEVER lies.

    Medopine on
  • TL DRTL DR Not at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Medopine wrote: »
    Richy wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    Anyone have a link to that Tucker Max epic story about doing anal for the first time?


    Ah here it is. NSFW
    Is that for real? Because it is hilarious.

    I have my doubts about his stories. He claims he NEVER lies.

    Just read the story. Sounds like a lot of BS.

    TL DR on
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited February 2008
    The only problem is that most of them are pretty damn hilarious. You just have to take em with a grain of salt.

    He also has a few books out.

    Medopine on
  • TL DRTL DR Not at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    I admit, I did start chuckling when the friend went through the closet door.

    But come on, three people simultaneously vomiting to the point where the place was uncleanable?

    TL DR on
  • OboroOboro __BANNED USERS
    edited February 2008
    jotate wrote: »
    Oboro posted a picture of herself in a hat in the chat thread like 10 minutes ago. I glanced at it and it looked kinda like a guy in the picture. I said "I thought Oboro was a chick."

    She is.

    I'm an asshole.

    :|
    ahaha

    let me introduce you to my highlight reel

    I'm sure I have more gender-related escapades posted hereabouts since I feel like I've already posted all of my best stories but I'll be damned before I can be bothered to dredge up any more with search disabled

    educate yourself, jotate

    it is your penance

    Oboro on
    words
  • FyreWulffFyreWulff Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2008
    chasm wrote: »
    I lost a spelling bee because the person announcing the words had poor pronunciation.

    I made it all the way up to the District spelling bee and lost there because of this.

    He pronounced it bathometer.

    The correct spelling was bathymeter.

    Fucker.

    And then finding out from a teacher later that they gave the other kid from my school the actual practice book for the bee, when I only recieved a small, general pamphlet style one.

    FyreWulff on
  • EdS25EdS25 Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Forgot one more :

    My family has always been a fan of George Carlin, and I've watched his specials from the time I was waaaay too young all the way to today. Yes, even past the 80's and 90's when he went very political and would go on half hour rants about criminals and suicide that were not funny at all. I keep watching the old ones every couple years tho because I "get" more of it. Anyway, my folks were supposed to go to a concert of his, bought the tickets, then it ended up that my dad couldn't go. So it just made sense, I would go to the concert with my mom - we had watched a lot of his stuff together in the past and it wasn't too weird or embarrassing.

    So we sit down, and the audience is actually mostly middle-aged or higher. The theater is pretty fancy with a gigantic hanging chandelier, special balcony box seats, etc. I'm trying to set the mood here for the first very thing that comes out of his mouth: "You know what people in this country don't talk about enough? PUSSYFARTS!"

    Even though he had me at pussyfarts, he then goes on to explain what they are, what causes them, and by the time he was actually making the sound timed with an "in and out" hand gesture I was laughing so hard that I was breaking blood vessels in my face and everything hurt. But it didn't seem like everyone was laughing, including an eerie silence from my left where my mom was supposed to be sitting. I risk looking over at her and the reason there's no sound is she's also doubled over, tears rolling down her face, laughing so hard that she can't inhale to get the air it would require to make actual noise.

    Then it hits me: my mom, my Oprah watching, church going mom should NOT know what pussyfarts are or that they are fucking hilarious. I almost immediately stopped laughing and went to my happy place where both me and my sister were immaculately conceived and my folks sleep in separate rooms and have since forever. Still it was cool (but also totally unacceptable) that she laughed.

    EdS25 on
    Currently Playing : FE:Awakening, AC:NL
  • RohaqRohaq Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    Oboro wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    Oboro posted a picture of herself in a hat in the chat thread like 10 minutes ago. I glanced at it and it looked kinda like a guy in the picture. I said "I thought Oboro was a chick."

    She is.

    I'm an asshole.

    :|
    ahaha

    let me introduce you to my highlight reel

    I'm sure I have more gender-related escapades posted hereabouts since I feel like I've already posted all of my best stories but I'll be damned before I can be bothered to dredge up any more with search disabled

    educate yourself, jotate

    it is your penance
    Oh man, I remember all of those.

    I love the third one, especially.

    Rohaq on
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited February 2008
    Oboro wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    Oboro posted a picture of herself in a hat in the chat thread like 10 minutes ago. I glanced at it and it looked kinda like a guy in the picture. I said "I thought Oboro was a chick."

    She is.

    I'm an asshole.

    :|
    ahaha

    let me introduce you to my highlight reel

    I'm sure I have more gender-related escapades posted hereabouts since I feel like I've already posted all of my best stories but I'll be damned before I can be bothered to dredge up any more with search disabled

    educate yourself, jotate

    it is your penance

    Well shit, I can't be held responsible for that misunderstanding.

    Though that makes me slightly more uncomfortable about the "oboro sits on jotate's head" emote from the other day.

    Not in a "I'm offended because I'm a giant phobe" but in a "that's an uncomfortable thought" kind of way.

    Because I...ahhh, fuck it, I'm just gonna stfu. :|

    jotate on
  • ArgusArgus Registered User regular
    edited February 2008
    FyreWulff wrote: »
    chasm wrote: »
    I lost a spelling bee because the person announcing the words had poor pronunciation.

    I made it all the way up to the District spelling bee and lost there because of this.

    He pronounced it bathometer.

    The correct spelling was bathymeter.

    Fucker.

    And then finding out from a teacher later that they gave the other kid from my school the actual practice book for the bee, when I only recieved a small, general pamphlet style one.

    I lost a spelling bee on "entangled." I was guessing between an 'i' and an 'e,' and went for the wrong one. Oreo's were had afterwards. I couldn't spell entangled properly for years.

    Argus on
  • TL DRTL DR Not at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    jotate wrote: »
    Oboro wrote: »
    jotate wrote: »
    Oboro posted a picture of herself in a hat in the chat thread like 10 minutes ago. I glanced at it and it looked kinda like a guy in the picture. I said "I thought Oboro was a chick."

    She is.

    I'm an asshole.

    :|
    ahaha

    let me introduce you to my highlight reel

    I'm sure I have more gender-related escapades posted hereabouts since I feel like I've already posted all of my best stories but I'll be damned before I can be bothered to dredge up any more with search disabled

    educate yourself, jotate

    it is your penance

    Well shit, I can't be held responsible for that misunderstanding.

    Though that makes me slightly more uncomfortable about the "oboro sits on jotate's head" emote from the other day.

    Not in a "I'm offended because I'm a giant phobe" but in a "that's an uncomfortable thought" kind of way.

    Because I...ahhh, fuck it, I'm just gonna stfu. :|

    Come on, Jo Tate. This is close enough to SE++ that you should expect anyone you see posting to be anywhere from normal to Mrs. Garrison.

    TL DR on
  • VeeveeVeevee WisconsinRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    jotate wrote: »
    meeker wrote: »
    Urinals reminded me of something.

    Friend and I went to see a basketball game at a stadium about a decade ago. We were having beers and both got up to piss at the same time. We went into the can and it was empty except for this guy trying to teach his 3-5 year old son how to use a urinal. These are the floor type urinals, and this little kid is standing there, pants around his ankles, shirt pulled up under his armpits, bare assed, pelvis thrust way out.

    He is saying, excitedly "I'm doing it Dad! I'm doing it!" while the dad is clapping. We stood there for a second before turning right around and walking out...

    Go to Walt Disney World. You'll see full grown Asian men who do that. Not usually with the excited clapping, but pants around the ankles, for sure.

    In other words, don't go to Walt Disney World.

    I had a friend who peed this way in grade school. It was recess and a few of us walked into the bathroom to discover him at the stall with his pants around his ankles, whizzing away.

    I started laughing and walked out. Then later he punched me in the kidney. I think it was a fair trade.

    There were a group of kids at my elementary school that would have contests to see who could pee into the urinal from the farthest away. So imagine walking into the bathroom, a group of 4 kids with their pants off and backing up until they miss the urinal. The farthest one would win something, but I never kept around to find out what that something was.

    Veevee on
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited February 2008
    Literal pissing contests are the best way to solve any dispute. Rock Paper Scissors should only be resorted to if women are involved.

    jotate on
  • VeeveeVeevee WisconsinRegistered User regular
    edited February 2008
    jotate wrote: »
    Literal pissing contests are the best way to solve any dispute. Rock Paper Scissors should only be resorted to if women are involved.

    It was more like a horse race than a dispute. Kids would be betting the better parts of their packed lunches on who would win. It went on for almost a whole year before a fist fight broke out when one kid wouldn't give up his lunch after loosing.

    Administration was notified, parents were called, and the bathroom was never the same.

    Veevee on
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