bitch is going to be slow as fuck the rest of his life
Dwarves won't carry around artifacts in the latest version. Which is nice.. because building those floodgates and statues adds a huge amount of wealth to your fortress.
Wouldn't them carrying the artifacts around give your fortress wealth in the "held/worn" category?
So, Synthetic Orange's mandate for three maces was ignored. Despite having a large prison with 16 cages, Synthetic Orange decides a vicious beating is best. Of course, a woodworker gets the blame. After a short pursuit, hmxmoss caught up with the woodworker in one of the gigantic finished goods storage warehouses. He of course began administering a beating with his warhammer.
BAM. Lower body broken and head broken. Yellow. The poor woodworker was left writhing in pain, swinging in an out of consciousness. Thanks, SynthO and Hmxmoss.
EDIT: While amassing at the gates to deal with an otherwise insignificant Gobbo Spears ambush, some fucking CrossbowGobbos attacked at close range. The only one out the gate so far was Tgbob the HammerChampion, who promptly felt it was a good time to go into a martial trance. He charged at them, deftly evading bolt after bolt, getting close enough to pummel two of the nasty green buggers. Then a bolt pierced his knee, dropping him like a sack of fox skulls. Then the four surviving green menaces gave him a very violent iron supplement, piercing tgbob's heart. He will join his wife, fadingthedges, in Dorf Valhalla. RIP ;_;.
Then Samoris the Newbie Marksdwarf ran out the gate, shot a single steel bolt - which pierced the organs of one CrossbowGobbo - and charged at the Gobbos. Poor dwarf didn't even have a quiver, it seems. It was all over rather quickly, as the vicious Gobbos turned brave but stupid Samoris into a crimson pincushion. RIP ;_;.
Blast, who came out the gate with Samoris, ran at the beasts and delivered a hearty swing (which finished off the Gobbo Samoris had shot), but then lost his nerves and ran off. I'm not shitting you here. Blast just began running away, somehow avoiding ventilation via iron bolt as he ran. After feeling the soothing exterior of a Chestnut cage, he gained his nerves back and ran back at the Gobbos. Again, not shitting you here. He stood above the cage, a quick red question mark appeared and bam he's okay. I need a psychiatrist in this fortress. By now though, the ever loyal War Dogs of Samoris had arrived and tore the distracted CrossbowGobbos apart. One of them had its throat shot out. RIP ;_;.
Just when I thought things had settled down somewhat, a PikeGobbo ambush appeared RIGHT OUTSIDE MY GATE. Samoris' last War Dog fought valiantly against two green squishy dudes, but was soon skewered a few too many times. RIP ;_;.
Seeing this, Blast lost his nerve again and ran off. Goddamnit. YOU'RE SO DEAD WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER. SO DEAD.
Then Xzzy and SynthO came out the gate. The two wizened old dwarves, both experienced mayors and warriors, set to work. SynthO's precisely aimed iron bolts destroyed both of a Gobbo's legs whilst Xzzy decimated a nearby green fiend. Having somehow gained his nerve back once again, Blast charged at the Goblin Squad Leader pursuing him and beat him like a ginger step-child. One gobbo was launched right into one of my Trader Death Pits, where he fell several Z-Levels and promptly exploded. A goblin attempted to escape, but the wise mayor SynthO judged this to be against his laws, and proceeded to fill him full of steel bolts, possibly laughing psychotically whilst doing so.
So, Synthetic Orange's mandate for three maces was ignored. Despite having a large prison with 16 cages, Synthetic Orange decides a vicious beating is best. Of course, a woodworker gets the blame. After a short pursuit, hmxmoss caught up with the woodworker in one of the gigantic finished goods storage warehouses. He of course began administering a beating with his warhammer.
What else beat up with? Pointy stick no make for great justice!
Don't quote me on this However, whenever I had that happen before I had to let my field lay fallow for a season before I could grow plants again, all seeds were red to me, so I assume there was something wrong with the field that I was growing in, so I just set it to fallow and I could grow things again in it next season.
That would make sense from an agricultural standpoint, I guess. It's just never happened to me before.
Edit: Yep, that seemed to work. Cool, thanks.
Also, I've managed to dig out a multi-level area of empty space with only a single injury - I'm that much closer to having a waterfall/reservoir/well construction.
Oh god and just when I think it's calmed down a SpearGobbo ambush appears right at the gates. DoublePlusFuck! The thresher unlucky enough to discover them finds himself experiencing what it's like to be a shishkebab first hand.
Xzzy, SynthO and Dkarrde all dash back to the gate. Seeing the unorganised group of silly green things outside the gate, SynthO delivers his verdict: Sentenced to death. With Xzzy at point and others suppressing fire, the Goblins soon found themselves being reduced to a chunky sauce. The gavel of death and dismemberment has once again been banged.
An ambush squad far to the north retreats.
Champions are sooooo good.
Oh, and in other news...
Vic died in a sparring accident. He spent the last minutes of his life thrashing around in a pool of his own blood. Witnesses claim he did it to himself.
InfestedGnome broke his left upper leg in a sparring accident. Witnesses claim it was a "stray axe" that did it. More at 11.
Yes! I am the only new recruit to have not been injured. :P
In other news, I just started up a new fortress. This run around I decided to start in a location that I knew would have soil just for ease of food production. I set up the base of my fortress. I've got a barracks for general sleeping purposes, I set up an office for my leader of the expedition, I've set up a kitchen/still/fishery near my food stockpile, dining room, and farm. On the second floor I've set up my workshop location and begun churning out more beds and an assortment of decorations for rooms in order to build private rooms for my dwarves, and some of my miners are currently digging those rooms out. I've also set one of my dwarves to stonecrafting in order to have SOMETHING to trade to the merchants whenever they get here. I'm avoiding using traps this game, because I'd like to have a game where I actually rely on the military, because it just sounds like so much more fun . I've currently only got my one axedwarf and four dogs that I set out on the expedition with. However, when my first wave of immigrants arrive (It just turned autumn, should be here shortly), I'm probably going to start stating up some of the peasants then recruit them and start them sparring.
How do I get my dwarfs to pick up better equipment? I've got some steel crossbows, but they're all using their wooden ones.
[v]iew the Dwarf in question, go to his nventory, find his weapon, gently apply pressure to your enter key, in the item description menu, [d]ump that wooden shit.
Another dwarf will then pry the weapon from the fingers of the military dwarf, who will then go and pick up a new weapon.
EDIT: Now that things have calmed down a notch, I've gotten the opportunity to pad my military with some more [strike]bolt fodder[/strike] recruits. Please welcome the the glorious military of Fortress Groovepaint the follow gentledwarves:
So I've played about half to a full year of like 5 different maps now, slowly refining my complete and utter failure.
My biggest problem is not knowing what I'm supposed to do with the traders. First of all, if I build the trade depot indoors then it says wagon inaccessible. But am I really supposed to be building shit outside? And secondly.. I just have no clue how to interact with them. Man I suck.
I just tried a game near some lava since people were talking about how great magma forges are, plus I read some of the shenanigans unleashing lava on attackers. Turns out fire imps didn't like my proximity and I quickly lost one of my first seven. Then I lost almost all of my migrants because for some reason they liked to hang around outside even though they had already been inside.
Steep learning curve is steep.
Hopefully I do better as marksdwarf in someone else's game than I do running my own~
When dorfs have no job, they'll go to a meeting area. It is imperative that you set an indoor meeting area (use zonng) early on those maps.
Wagons are three wide, so you have to make sure there are no bottlenecks less than three wide. My trade depot is outdoors, but then again all I have to worry about are some runty zombie foxes.
With the trade depot, I would recommend you build it outside, unless you have a place within your fortress that has an entrance three squares wide. I personally just build them outside. Now, the problem is, merchants still have to be able to access your depot. If there are obstacles blocking the merchants from entering your depot with their wagons (They need a direct path there, with at least 3 squares width) then you have to get rid of them. Boulders have to be smoothed down with the [d]esignation mooth stone, trees have to be chopped down with another designation, chop down [t]rees. I'm not positive what determines where a caravan will spawn on the map. However, if my depot is inaccessible I generally just clear a direct 3 width route to the closest edge of the map. Even if the merchants don't spawn at that location, they will generally be able to reach that path. You may want to build roads, I haven't actually played around with those yet, so I don't know.
Edit: Beaten.
I might as well add my own question. I took four dogs on my journey, for early defense purposes. Now they've begun to breed quite a bit recently, I already have 5 puppies, and its just now reaching my first spring. Is there any negative effect to having a lot of dogs in your fortress?
How do I get my dwarfs to pick up better equipment? I've got some steel crossbows, but they're all using their wooden ones.
[v]iew the Dwarf in question, go to his nventory, find his weapon, gently apply pressure to your enter key, in the item description menu, [d]ump that wooden shit.
Another dwarf will then pry the weapon from the fingers of the military dwarf, who will then go and pick up a new weapon.
EDIT: Now that things have calmed down a notch, I've gotten the opportunity to pad my military with some more [strike]bolt fodder[/strike] recruits. Please welcome the the glorious military of Fortress Groovepaint the follow gentledwarves:
I might as well add my own question. I took four dogs on my journey, for early defense purposes. Now they've begun to breed quite a bit recently, I already have 5 puppies, and its just now reaching my first spring. Is there any negative effect to having a lot of dogs in your fortress?
They breed a lot. Slows down your machine. I generally perform mass cullings of the fortress animal population every now and then. Hey, it's not my fault puppies are so delicious.
Another sordid tale of a saved soul in my fortress. A woodcutter was attacked by zombie wolves, her left arm broken, her lower body mangled, her left eye gouged out and her right arm torn off at the shoulder. Before the final bite could be delivered, Synthetic Orange saved her. Somehow, she didn't die of blood loss, and a Dorf Nurse brought her back into the fortress. She now rests in her bedroom, her mood ecstatic.
I might as well add my own question. I took four dogs on my journey, for early defense purposes. Now they've begun to breed quite a bit recently, I already have 5 puppies, and its just now reaching my first spring. Is there any negative effect to having a lot of dogs in your fortress?
Having the animal population in your fort rise will cause the same kind of FPS slowdown that an increase in dwarf population will, so if you've got a relatively slow processor and you're concerned about game speed you might want to have a few puppy sandwiches.
If they're all hanging out in really tight tunnels, like 1-2 spaces wide, then they can cause traffic to slow down as dwarves crawl under them, but that's mostly a non-issue now since Toady addy 8-directional movement.
Beyond those concerns, having a ton of dogs just means you have a potent military force that also doubles as an emergency food supply
EDIT: Okay, so Dkarrde and Bloodsheed shot him with their crossbows and then Blast the Hammer Lord ran in and finished him off, but not before InfestedGnome attacked Kingthlayer, leaving his upper body / right lung mangled. That's a mortal wound, right there.
I'm a coward, am I? What's my personality say? I had a recruit run off after a giant bat tore two of her fellow militia into bits, so I checked her personality and it said things like "does not handle stress well" and "breaks down under pressure."
Shortly afterwards she threw a tantrum in my meeting hall and beat the crap out of a mule. Seriously. We're talking red lower body and yellow brain wounds.
It would be funny if mine said I liked cages for their comforting qualities.
I'm looking forward to starting my arena/prison. Just to see if you guys can spot any obvious flaws. I'll have my main entrance have some hallways to brances off of. I'm going to try to put hatches with pressure plate that will drop them into a large room. Then I will have a small entryway into a room, that will be used as an arena. I will also try to starve them just to see if it can be done. Poor, poor gobbos! I might also try to have a hatch leading to magma just to see that.
Would there be any reason why I'm getting stronger and stronger goblin thieves, but no sieges as yet? I've got a 35-strong army (23 Marksdwarfs, 11 Wrestlers), and I'm itching to perforate something.
I might start booby-trapping my trading post to try and stir up an international incident.
Would there be any reason why I'm getting stronger and stronger goblin thieves, but no sieges as yet? I've got a 35-strong army (23 Marksdwarfs, 11 Wrestlers), and I'm itching to perforate something.
I might start booby-trapping my trading post to try and stir up an international incident.
I think they actually have to steal something and live for you to get a siege, but I don't know.
Posts
Wouldn't them carrying the artifacts around give your fortress wealth in the "held/worn" category?
BAM. Lower body broken and head broken. Yellow. The poor woodworker was left writhing in pain, swinging in an out of consciousness. Thanks, SynthO and Hmxmoss.
EDIT: While amassing at the gates to deal with an otherwise insignificant Gobbo Spears ambush, some fucking CrossbowGobbos attacked at close range. The only one out the gate so far was Tgbob the HammerChampion, who promptly felt it was a good time to go into a martial trance. He charged at them, deftly evading bolt after bolt, getting close enough to pummel two of the nasty green buggers. Then a bolt pierced his knee, dropping him like a sack of fox skulls. Then the four surviving green menaces gave him a very violent iron supplement, piercing tgbob's heart. He will join his wife, fadingthedges, in Dorf Valhalla. RIP ;_;.
Then Samoris the Newbie Marksdwarf ran out the gate, shot a single steel bolt - which pierced the organs of one CrossbowGobbo - and charged at the Gobbos. Poor dwarf didn't even have a quiver, it seems. It was all over rather quickly, as the vicious Gobbos turned brave but stupid Samoris into a crimson pincushion. RIP ;_;.
Blast, who came out the gate with Samoris, ran at the beasts and delivered a hearty swing (which finished off the Gobbo Samoris had shot), but then lost his nerves and ran off. I'm not shitting you here. Blast just began running away, somehow avoiding ventilation via iron bolt as he ran. After feeling the soothing exterior of a Chestnut cage, he gained his nerves back and ran back at the Gobbos. Again, not shitting you here. He stood above the cage, a quick red question mark appeared and bam he's okay. I need a psychiatrist in this fortress. By now though, the ever loyal War Dogs of Samoris had arrived and tore the distracted CrossbowGobbos apart. One of them had its throat shot out. RIP ;_;.
Just when I thought things had settled down somewhat, a PikeGobbo ambush appeared RIGHT OUTSIDE MY GATE. Samoris' last War Dog fought valiantly against two green squishy dudes, but was soon skewered a few too many times. RIP ;_;.
Seeing this, Blast lost his nerve again and ran off. Goddamnit. YOU'RE SO DEAD WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER. SO DEAD.
Then Xzzy and SynthO came out the gate. The two wizened old dwarves, both experienced mayors and warriors, set to work. SynthO's precisely aimed iron bolts destroyed both of a Gobbo's legs whilst Xzzy decimated a nearby green fiend. Having somehow gained his nerve back once again, Blast charged at the Goblin Squad Leader pursuing him and beat him like a ginger step-child. One gobbo was launched right into one of my Trader Death Pits, where he fell several Z-Levels and promptly exploded. A goblin attempted to escape, but the wise mayor SynthO judged this to be against his laws, and proceeded to fill him full of steel bolts, possibly laughing psychotically whilst doing so.
Should I execute Blast for cowardice?
What else beat up with? Pointy stick no make for great justice!
It won't let me choose them for any season, and I've got plump helmet spawn in spades.
Edit: Yep, that seemed to work. Cool, thanks.
Also, I've managed to dig out a multi-level area of empty space with only a single injury - I'm that much closer to having a waterfall/reservoir/well construction.
Xzzy, SynthO and Dkarrde all dash back to the gate. Seeing the unorganised group of silly green things outside the gate, SynthO delivers his verdict: Sentenced to death. With Xzzy at point and others suppressing fire, the Goblins soon found themselves being reduced to a chunky sauce. The gavel of death and dismemberment has once again been banged.
An ambush squad far to the north retreats.
Champions are sooooo good.
Oh, and in other news...
Vic died in a sparring accident. He spent the last minutes of his life thrashing around in a pool of his own blood. Witnesses claim he did it to himself.
InfestedGnome broke his left upper leg in a sparring accident. Witnesses claim it was a "stray axe" that did it. More at 11.
In other news, I just started up a new fortress. This run around I decided to start in a location that I knew would have soil just for ease of food production. I set up the base of my fortress. I've got a barracks for general sleeping purposes, I set up an office for my leader of the expedition, I've set up a kitchen/still/fishery near my food stockpile, dining room, and farm. On the second floor I've set up my workshop location and begun churning out more beds and an assortment of decorations for rooms in order to build private rooms for my dwarves, and some of my miners are currently digging those rooms out. I've also set one of my dwarves to stonecrafting in order to have SOMETHING to trade to the merchants whenever they get here. I'm avoiding using traps this game, because I'd like to have a game where I actually rely on the military, because it just sounds like so much more fun
Head: Cap and Helm
Chest: Chain mail and Plate mail
Leggings: Greaves
Feet: High Boots
Hands: Gauntlets
So the two slots where they will double up their armor is head and chest. Still pretty awesome.
EDIT: I died in a sparring accident? Noes!
[v]iew the Dwarf in question, go to his nventory, find his weapon, gently apply pressure to your enter key, in the item description menu, [d]ump that wooden shit.
Another dwarf will then pry the weapon from the fingers of the military dwarf, who will then go and pick up a new weapon.
EDIT: Now that things have calmed down a notch, I've gotten the opportunity to pad my military with some more [strike]bolt fodder[/strike] recruits. Please welcome the the glorious military of Fortress Groovepaint the follow gentledwarves:
Stregone, Marksdwarf
Kingthlayer, Axedwarf
Bloodsheed, Marksdwarf
FightTest, Marksdwarf
GenericFan, Hammerdwarf
Littwentythree, Macedwarf
Zerinan, Swordsdwarf
Please refrain from dying.
Oh, this reminds of a time where I swear, the dwarves had a giant cave spider!
I tried to make enough money to buy it but never did
My biggest problem is not knowing what I'm supposed to do with the traders. First of all, if I build the trade depot indoors then it says wagon inaccessible. But am I really supposed to be building shit outside? And secondly.. I just have no clue how to interact with them. Man I suck.
I just tried a game near some lava since people were talking about how great magma forges are, plus I read some of the shenanigans unleashing lava on attackers. Turns out fire imps didn't like my proximity and I quickly lost one of my first seven. Then I lost almost all of my migrants because for some reason they liked to hang around outside even though they had already been inside.
Steep learning curve is steep.
Hopefully I do better as marksdwarf in someone else's game than I do running my own~
Wagons are three wide, so you have to make sure there are no bottlenecks less than three wide. My trade depot is outdoors, but then again all I have to worry about are some runty zombie foxes.
My first few weeks with this game, www.dwarffortresswiki.net was my bible.
Edit: Beaten.
I might as well add my own question. I took four dogs on my journey, for early defense purposes. Now they've begun to breed quite a bit recently, I already have 5 puppies, and its just now reaching my first spring. Is there any negative effect to having a lot of dogs in your fortress?
Horray! And now I won't be blaimed for all the sparing related death I'm about to start. Sounds like a win/win to me.
They breed a lot. Slows down your machine. I generally perform mass cullings of the fortress animal population every now and then. Hey, it's not my fault puppies are so delicious.
Another sordid tale of a saved soul in my fortress. A woodcutter was attacked by zombie wolves, her left arm broken, her lower body mangled, her left eye gouged out and her right arm torn off at the shoulder. Before the final bite could be delivered, Synthetic Orange saved her. Somehow, she didn't die of blood loss, and a Dorf Nurse brought her back into the fortress. She now rests in her bedroom, her mood ecstatic.
Having the animal population in your fort rise will cause the same kind of FPS slowdown that an increase in dwarf population will, so if you've got a relatively slow processor and you're concerned about game speed you might want to have a few puppy sandwiches.
If they're all hanging out in really tight tunnels, like 1-2 spaces wide, then they can cause traffic to slow down as dwarves crawl under them, but that's mostly a non-issue now since Toady addy 8-directional movement.
Beyond those concerns, having a ton of dogs just means you have a potent military force that also doubles as an emergency food supply
EDIT: Okay, so Dkarrde and Bloodsheed shot him with their crossbows and then Blast the Hammer Lord ran in and finished him off, but not before InfestedGnome attacked Kingthlayer, leaving his upper body / right lung mangled. That's a mortal wound, right there.
Also, J3p? Make a new thread.
AKA [PA]Ilovepandas
Alright alright I'll stop giving absurdly verbose updates.
FOR NOW
Kingthlayer is going to try sleeping off the wound. What a champ.
I don't mind at all. Wordywheel. Heh.
Shortly afterwards she threw a tantrum in my meeting hall and beat the crap out of a mule. Seriously. We're talking red lower body and yellow brain wounds.
It would be funny if mine said I liked cages for their comforting qualities.
EDIT: Hah, just looked at Xzzy's casual name (second name when you [v]iew a dorf).
Hello there, Xzzy Rosyringed the Complex Bride of Paper.
I might start booby-trapping my trading post to try and stir up an international incident.
I think they actually have to steal something and live for you to get a siege, but I don't know.
http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?p=4692209#post4692209
I take that to mean I give nasty papercuts. Steel papercuts.