A friend of mine recently went to Ihop in celebration of the new movie based on Dr. Seuss' story "Horton Hears a Who."
This is his story:
"Me and my friends decided that we had to try this stuff at ihop (
www.ihop.com to see the Dr. Seuss items.)
There are three items for this "Horton Hears a Who" movie.
Candy Pancakes
Jello Soda
Green Eggs and Ham
On our way in, my friend Alex commented, "God, I can already feel my tear ducts salivating." Little did we realize he would be completely correct.
We sat, and when the waitress approached and asked what we wanted, the four of us sang, "Candy paaancaaakes!" (see: Candy Mountain), and she gave us the most pitied look.
Green Eggs and Ham is pretty normal.
The jello soda, was actually pretty damn good, for jello cubes in soda.
Then, candy pancakes. We were so excited. These are pancakes with chocolate and candy pieces inside, impaled on a lollipop, and drizzled with opaque blueberry and boisenberry syrup.
Somewhere, Alex has a photo of Larry's last moment of happiness -- the moment before he ate the first pancake.
It was terrible. It's like sugar cane kicked me in the balls, burned my house down, and raped my dog. We were gagging and screaming bloody murder in the restaurant, but nobody seemed to mind... we were heroes, fighting a war of pancakes. But we had to continue. Larry started crying, and every time Louis looked at his face, he began to dry heave. I had to run to the bathroom at one point because I was laughing so hard, and I couldn't swallow the pancake, so it began to moisten in the back of my gullet, intensifying in taste.
As I sat back down at the table, Larry, desperately reached for the jello soda which had once been so good to us, and took a large gulp. Then he screamed, "OH GOD, CANDY PANCAKES, IT'S LIKE YOU FOLLOWED ME HOME." Me, being stupid, and desperately wanting the taste of candy pancakes gone, also took a swig. It was like sugar cane had barred me from leaving my burning house, and had raped me up the butt in my final moments. I ran to the bathroom and puked in a toilet. Halfway through throwing up, Louis ran into the bathroom and shouted after me, "CANDY PAAANCAAAKES, MIKE! CANDY PAAANCAAAKES!"
The restaurant at this point was in riot because of us, mostly in laughter. Larry was still crying somewhere between sugar cane rape and laughter when I got back out. We paid for our meal, left a thirty dollar tip for the waitress and retreated."
so, SE++, what kind of horrible experiences have you had with disgusting food?
Posts
also: the taco bell on the outskirts of nashville fucking sucks
motherfuckers have the worst quesadilla ever
Yeah, I don't eat whipped cream anymore.
In what way did this seem like a good idea?
it took about four seconds for "this isn't canned cheese" to process in my mind, so I'd already swallowed the first mouthful and begun a second
But really Horton Hears A Who was a bitching movie
Did he see a picture of it before he ordered? If he did, he deserved what he got. That looks fucking terrible.
that looks delicious fuck you
Was it? The earlier commercials looked not so good, but I keep hearing how awesome it is. I'm thinking of seeing it now.
Boisonberry and blueberry syrup is commonplace on pancake and there are chocolare chip pancakes so how did candy change that any?
I too was prepared for awful but if you just let yourself go it is hillarious. In fact there is an entire segment where they lampoon anime and I was on the floor in tears from laughter.
It doesn't even look like real food.
one day sitting on the porch, I am eating strawberries. I go to take a bite out a big, juicy motherfucker
mm it is delicious
and a little tart for some reason, hmmm
out of my half-eaten strawberry I see HUNDRED OF BABY SPIDERS EMERGE
OH GOD I CAN FEEL THEM IN MY MOUTH
OH GOD THEY'RE EVERWHERE
like one mass, they attacked me for defiling their red-fruited homestead
I must have blacked out from terror because the next thing I knew I was running down the street, crying, spitting, cursing and hating everyone and everything in the world.
I can eat strawberries again but man I am super wary
I was 9 when this happened
Please don't ruin strawberries for me, oh god.
come on dude
duuude
duuuuuuuuuude
I had something kind of like that recently.
See, I pretty much just bite into hard candies, and I was going through this Gobstopper phaze a couple months ago. One of the ones I bit into, toward the end of a box was hollow, and it felt so strange. I imagined it as some kind of insect egg or something.
I'm pretty much afraid of Gobstoppers right now.
I was eating a peach we grew on our tree
the first peaches that ever grew on our lonely little peach tree
sitting around, in the living room, each of us with a peach in hand
my brothers are chomping on their peaches, omp omp omp
I bite into mine
so delicious, so sweet and delicious
and my brother looks at me
and screams
I look down, and there are hundreds of fucking earwigs pouring out of the bite in the peach
they're crawling on my hand, on my arm, down my shirt
IN MY MOUTH
How about pancakes flavored like your avatar. Man it still looks like a scotty dog to me out of the corner of my eye, and I know this means I should probably commit myself.
Edit: Rank, that's horrible. Did you pledge genocide against earwigs?
Steam
You should commit yourself for suggesting dog flavored pancakes.
http://www.smrpglegacy.com/Nintendo%20Pictures/Super%20Mario%20RPG/thwomp.jpg
ok
something like that would break me
i would never be right again
What's wrong with eating dogs?
dude strawberry = peach and earwigs = spiders
we are like trauma twins
Maybe this partially explains Rank.
Edit: And Rane for that matter
Where the hell does that thought come from? 0.o
I'm eating oranges and pineapple.
So the opposite of what's described.