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All that is not delicious

24

Posts

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    QuethalQuethal The Infrequent OaklandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Polago wrote: »
    Quethal wrote: »
    Polago wrote: »
    You know what isn't delicious? Really really salty fishy bitter jelly-like ejaculate.

    Where the hell does that thought come from? 0.o

    I'm eating oranges and pineapple.

    So the opposite of what's described.

    So, do you have a date coming up?

    Quethal on
  • Options
    TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Green wrote: »
    CANDY PAAAANCAAAAAKES

    It's like some ghoulish warning from beyond the grave...

    CANDY

    PAAAAAAANCAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES

    Tonkka on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    dude strawberry = peach and earwigs = spiders

    we are like trauma twins
    go_team_venture.jpg

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
  • Options
    PolagoPolago Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Quethal wrote: »
    Polago wrote: »
    Quethal wrote: »
    Polago wrote: »
    You know what isn't delicious? Really really salty fishy bitter jelly-like ejaculate.

    Where the hell does that thought come from? 0.o

    I'm eating oranges and pineapple.

    So the opposite of what's described.

    So, do you have a date coming up?

    The fact that you even have to ask that question is puzzling.

    Of course not! :D

    I really like pineapple and oranges.

    Polago on
  • Options
    QuethalQuethal The Infrequent OaklandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Polago wrote: »
    Quethal wrote: »
    Polago wrote: »
    Quethal wrote: »
    Polago wrote: »
    You know what isn't delicious? Really really salty fishy bitter jelly-like ejaculate.

    Where the hell does that thought come from? 0.o

    I'm eating oranges and pineapple.

    So the opposite of what's described.

    So, do you have a date coming up?

    The fact that you even have to ask that question is puzzling.

    Of course not! :D

    I really like pineapple and oranges.

    Ah well, I was just being hopeful =)

    Quethal on
  • Options
    JimothyJimothy Not in front of the fox he's with the owlRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    Those pancakes would make Willy Wonka cry out in terror

    Jimothy on
  • Options
    QuethalQuethal The Infrequent OaklandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Jimothy wrote: »
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    Those pancakes would make Willy Wonka cry out in profit

    Quethal on
  • Options
    BibbleBibble __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2008
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    hardees has a terrible breakfast menu

    also: the taco bell on the outskirts of nashville fucking sucks

    motherfuckers have the worst quesadilla ever

    we should party sometime

    Bibble on
    2jezcsmjpg.gif
  • Options
    necroSYSnecroSYS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2008
    Monkeyfeet wrote: »
    earwigs are the worst things

    No, it is scientific fact that centipedes are the worst things.

    necroSYS on
  • Options
    UncleChetUncleChet N00b Lancaster, PARegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    For me the non-tasty moment came from what was one of my favorite vietnamese places in OKC. It was summer and there were junebugs and stuff flying around outside, no big deal. We order some fried spring rolls, and cut one open to cool before eating. Sure as shit there was a big (3/4" big) junebug in the middle of the spring roll, all fried and crunchy. I obviously stopped eating there, (a shame) and still cut open all of my eggrolls/spring rolls just in case.

    UncleChet on
    I'm sometimes grumpy and random, feel free to overlook the strange man in the corner.
  • Options
    TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    necroSYS wrote: »
    Monkeyfeet wrote: »
    earwigs are the worst things

    No, it is scientific fact that centipedes are the worst things.

    uh

    are you forgetting fatties?

    Tossrock on
    sig.png
  • Options
    i8246ii8246i Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Tossrock wrote: »
    necroSYS wrote: »
    Monkeyfeet wrote: »
    earwigs are the worst things

    No, it is scientific fact that centipedes are the worst things.

    uh

    are you forgetting fatties?

    At least I'm not a furry.

    i8246i on
    "...a giant ball of childhood memories just smashed your mini-van."
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    BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I went into a Taco Bell for the first time in a long time and saw that even they had a low-fat menu
    Taco fucking Bell
    I can honestly say I didn't see that coming

    BusterK on
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    fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Quethal wrote: »
    Jimothy wrote: »
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    Those pancakes would make dentists cry out in profit

    fightinfilipino on
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    BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    i once found a cockroach in a mcdonalds chicken nugget. luckily i was in an odd phase where i had apparently discovered that you could cut food with the side of your fork, and i was cutting all my food, and BAM, cockroach.

    Belruel on
    vmn6rftb232b.png
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited March 2008
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    I used to love strawberries

    one day sitting on the porch, I am eating strawberries. I go to take a bite out a big, juicy motherfucker

    mm it is delicious

    and a little tart for some reason, hmmm

    out of my half-eaten strawberry I see HUNDRED OF BABY SPIDERS EMERGE

    OH GOD I CAN FEEL THEM IN MY MOUTH

    OH GOD THEY'RE EVERWHERE

    like one mass, they attacked me for defiling their red-fruited homestead

    I must have blacked out from terror because the next thing I knew I was running down the street, crying, spitting, cursing and hating everyone and everything in the world.

    I can eat strawberries again but man I am super wary

    I was 9 when this happened

    Why did I read this?
    And then the earwigs?

    I am never eating fruit again.

    darleysam on
    forumsig.png
  • Options
    BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    darleysam wrote: »
    Raneados wrote: »
    I used to love strawberries

    one day sitting on the porch, I am eating strawberries. I go to take a bite out a big, juicy motherfucker

    mm it is delicious

    and a little tart for some reason, hmmm

    out of my half-eaten strawberry I see HUNDRED OF BABY SPIDERS EMERGE

    OH GOD I CAN FEEL THEM IN MY MOUTH

    OH GOD THEY'RE EVERWHERE

    like one mass, they attacked me for defiling their red-fruited homestead

    I must have blacked out from terror because the next thing I knew I was running down the street, crying, spitting, cursing and hating everyone and everything in the world.

    I can eat strawberries again but man I am super wary

    I was 9 when this happened

    Why did I read this?
    And then the earwigs?

    I am never eating fruit again.

    i always check my fruit first for any tampering or soft spots, and usually i eat fruit by first cutting it into pieces. i am paranoid like that, and it also helps because i have wussy baby sensitive teeth

    Belruel on
    vmn6rftb232b.png
  • Options
    One Thousand CablesOne Thousand Cables An absence of thought Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    At first this thread made me want some pancakes

    Now I have to check all of my fruit to make sure it doesn't contain earwigs

    Thanks SE

    One Thousand Cables on
  • Options
    SilmarilSilmaril Mr Ha Ha Hapless. Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I got half a maggot when I took a bite out of a satsuma segment once.

    When I could still eat fruit, I'd have to hold each segment of a satsuma up to the light before I'd eat it.



    Now I don't have that problem because I'm allergic to fruit.

    Silmaril on
    t9migZb.jpg
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    Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    As a kid I used to have to check my raspberries before I ate them because bugs used to live inside of some of them, at least the really ripe ones. It never was a huge issue because I preferred the tarter barries, which were hard and impenetrable to insectoid vagrants. But anyways, I'm no stranger to eating bugs. Worms in apples, you know, that kind of shit. You get used to it when you live in a place like Yakima, on an orchard, surrounded by dozens of freshly grown fruits.

    Well, my family wasn't exactly well-off at this time. My dad, being that he worked for the Tribe, hadn't gotten paid until a case went through, so we went without income for like six months. In winter. It wasn't that harsh, but let me say that I was super glad for all the canning my mom did, so we at least got to eat canned pears and peaches with meals to stave off scurvey.

    (Fun fact: My favorite dive restaurant in Olympia has "steer clear o' scurvey" written as the description for its 'bowl of fresh fruit' on the menu.)

    Well my mom digs out this huge burlap sack of rice, because we're eating rice alot, and guess what - there are tons of weevils inside. Little wriggly bastards. So what does my mom do? She's clever - I'll never say to the contrary. She pours the dry rice onto a cookie sheet and bakes it in the oven to kill the weevils. Then she pours it into a big bowl of water, whereupon the dead and dry weevils promptly floated to the top, which she whisked into the trash with a strainer-ladle. She pronounced everything "fine."

    And yes, we did eat rice for dinner that night. With canned peaches for desert.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • Options
    darleysamdarleysam On my way to UKRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Belruel wrote: »
    darleysam wrote: »
    Raneados wrote: »
    I used to love strawberries

    one day sitting on the porch, I am eating strawberries. I go to take a bite out a big, juicy motherfucker

    mm it is delicious

    and a little tart for some reason, hmmm

    out of my half-eaten strawberry I see HUNDRED OF BABY SPIDERS EMERGE

    OH GOD I CAN FEEL THEM IN MY MOUTH

    OH GOD THEY'RE EVERWHERE

    like one mass, they attacked me for defiling their red-fruited homestead

    I must have blacked out from terror because the next thing I knew I was running down the street, crying, spitting, cursing and hating everyone and everything in the world.

    I can eat strawberries again but man I am super wary

    I was 9 when this happened

    Why did I read this?
    And then the earwigs?

    I am never eating fruit again.

    i always check my fruit first for any tampering or soft spots, and usually i eat fruit by first cutting it into pieces. i am paranoid like that, and it also helps because i have wussy baby sensitive teeth

    Yeah, whenever I'm eating an apple I meticulously check every mark or blemish on the surface and gouge them out with a knife. Sure it looks like I'm being paranoid, but I'm the one that won't be eating spiders, earwigs or woodlice.
    :|

    darleysam on
    forumsig.png
  • Options
    Something WittySomething Witty Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    This thread has made me afraid of food. Brilliant move gentlemen.:^:

    Closest thing I've got to the unspeakable horrors listed in this thread is this one time I was eating a Nachos Bell Grande from Taco Bell and I was wondering why the sour cream tasted so weird.

    Took me a few minutes when I was about halfway through the bowl when I noticed a couple of thick, black, curly hairs sticking out of the sour cream.

    Something Witty on
    IMWithDentToo.png
  • Options
    BucketmanBucketman Call me SkraggRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Quethal wrote: »
    I've accidentally bit into berries that had stinkbugs hiding on them. That's a moderately terrible thing, though nowhere near as bad as a clusterfuck of baby spiders trying to crawl down your throat.

    I pretty much did exactly this but with Popcorn Kernals.
    Jimothy wrote: »

    I had something kind of like that recently.

    See, I pretty much just bite into hard candies, and I was going through this Gobstopper phaze a couple months ago. One of the ones I bit into, toward the end of a box was hollow, and it felt so strange. I imagined it as some kind of insect egg or something.

    I'm pretty much afraid of Gobstoppers right now.

    Yeah I use to get Whoppers and had a few gobstoppers like it. Its a mass manufacturing defect, some just some out hollow.

    Bucketman on
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    HitScanHitScan Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    This thread has made me afraid of food. Brilliant move gentlemen.:^:

    Closest thing I've got to the unspeakable horrors listed in this thread is this one time I was eating a Nachos Bell Grande from Taco Bell and I was wondering why the sour cream tasted so weird.

    Took me a few minutes when I was about halfway through the bowl when I noticed a couple of thick, black, curly hairs sticking out of the sour cream.
    I would so much rather make out with a roach's ass than eat some dude's baby gravy. I can't tell which of you is worse off in this thread. D:

    HitScan on
    Unstable like the isotope that resolves the fate of the theoretical cat in the hypothetical crate.
    Yo momma so fat she got triabetes
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    pinenut_canarypinenut_canary Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I was picking donut peaches with my family once, and everything was going good. The sun was in the air, sky was clear, I had a satchel half filled with peaches, and the peaches themselves were plump and delicious. We each had an aisle to ourselves, and some trees we would just pass because they were picked clean, and some had a dozen or so.

    I come upon this tree that's smack in the middle of the orchard. The tree is FULL of peaches, literally bouquets of them. Clumps of them the size of basketballs all hanging down from their own weight. It was as if 30 peaches were glued together to form huge balls, and then stuck on the tree all over the place. I thought I discovered something, like some lost treasure.

    So I go over, and start picking as many as I can.

    But there's a reason why that tree wasn't touched guys.

    I go through a "ball" of peaches, and I get deeper, and then I yank off another peach, and I see darkness inside the ball, and that darkness moved. I look more closely, and HOLY SHIT IT'S A WASPS NEST. MOTHER FUCKING WASPS ALL CRAWLING ALL OVER INSIDE THERE OH MY GOD WHY?

    And then one just flies out and comes all buzzing with it's long legs all flailing demonically and free falls on my eye and stings me and then I feel it chewing my eye lid and I yell for God to kill me as I suddenly hear all of them buzzing. There had to be more hives or nests or whatever in each ball of peaches. I took off running with my eye swollen, scared for my life that they're coming after me. But I reach the car and explain what happened to my family and they all look terrified and they stayed clear of the demon peach tree while I sat in the car pouring water on my eye and keeping an ice pack on it.

    It's the closest I've ever been to Hell.

    pinenut_canary on
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    Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Belruel wrote: »

    i always check my fruit first for any tampering or soft spots, and usually i eat fruit by first cutting it into pieces. i am paranoid like that, and it also helps because i have wussy baby sensitive teeth

    your teeth are sensitive to babies? Eat less babies, then.

    Caulk Bite 6 on
    jnij103vqi2i.png
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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Belruel wrote: »

    i always check my fruit first for any tampering or soft spots, and usually i eat fruit by first cutting it into pieces. i am paranoid like that, and it also helps because i have wussy baby sensitive teeth

    your teeth are sensitive to babies? Eat less babies, then.

    no fuck you bel can eat all the babies she wants

    PiptheFair on
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    Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    also, this thread has reminded me that I still have a scorpion lollipop somewhere here that my sister got for me. She works at the butterfly conservatory, and they sell all kinds of those insect snack things.

    and yes the stinger was cut off, prior to the little guy being dipped into a boiling vat of lemon flavoured candy. I can only presume that it was already dead too, but who knows.

    Caulk Bite 6 on
    jnij103vqi2i.png
  • Options
    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    also, this thread has reminded me that I still have a scorpion lollipop somewhere here that my sister got for me. She works at the butterfly conservatory, and they sell all kinds of those insect snack things.

    and yes the stinger was cut off, prior to the little guy being dipped into a boiling vat of lemon flavoured candy. I can only presume that it was already dead too, but who knows.

    roasted

    PiptheFair on
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    Beef AvengerBeef Avenger Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I was picking donut peaches with my family once, and everything was going good. The sun was in the air, sky was clear, I had a satchel half filled with peaches, and the peaches themselves were plump and delicious. We each had an aisle to ourselves, and some trees we would just pass because they were picked clean, and some had a dozen or so.

    I come upon this tree that's smack in the middle of the orchard. The tree is FULL of peaches, literally bouquets of them. Clumps of them the size of basketballs all hanging down from their own weight. It was as if 30 peaches were glued together to form huge balls, and then stuck on the tree all over the place. I thought I discovered something, like some lost treasure.

    So I go over, and start picking as many as I can.

    But there's a reason why that tree wasn't touched guys.

    I go through a "ball" of peaches, and I get deeper, and then I yank off another peach, and I see darkness inside the ball, and that darkness moved. I look more closely, and HOLY SHIT IT'S A WASPS NEST. MOTHER FUCKING WASPS ALL CRAWLING ALL OVER INSIDE THERE OH MY GOD WHY?

    And then one just flies out and comes all buzzing with it's long legs all flailing demonically and free falls on my eye and stings me and then I feel it chewing my eye lid and I yell for God to kill me as I suddenly hear all of them buzzing. There had to be more hives or nests or whatever in each ball of peaches. I took off running with my eye swollen, scared for my life that they're coming after me. But I reach the car and explain what happened to my family and they all look terrified and they stayed clear of the demon peach tree while I sat in the car pouring water on my eye and keeping an ice pack on it.

    It's the closest I've ever been to Hell.

    D:

    Beef Avenger on
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  • Options
    KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Belruel wrote: »

    i always check my fruit first for any tampering or soft spots, and usually i eat fruit by first cutting it into pieces. i am paranoid like that, and it also helps because i have wussy baby sensitive teeth

    your teeth are sensitive to babies? Eat less babies, then.

    no fuck you bel can eat all the babies she wants

    She's like Gina Torres' character in that story arc in Angel.

    She needs to consume some innocent energy to remain cheerful and keep everyone else happy.

    Khavall on
  • Options
    Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    also, this thread has reminded me that I still have a scorpion lollipop somewhere here that my sister got for me. She works at the butterfly conservatory, and they sell all kinds of those insect snack things.

    and yes the stinger was cut off, prior to the little guy being dipped into a boiling vat of lemon flavoured candy. I can only presume that it was already dead too, but who knows.

    roasted

    here's the ingredient list:

    malitol syrup, scorpion, artificial flavouring and colouring (yellow 5)

    EDIT: Sorry, it's banana flavour, not lemon

    Caulk Bite 6 on
    jnij103vqi2i.png
  • Options
    NerindilNerindil Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    I was picking donut peaches with my family once, and everything was going good. The sun was in the air, sky was clear, I had a satchel half filled with peaches, and the peaches themselves were plump and delicious. We each had an aisle to ourselves, and some trees we would just pass because they were picked clean, and some had a dozen or so.

    I come upon this tree that's smack in the middle of the orchard. The tree is FULL of peaches, literally bouquets of them. Clumps of them the size of basketballs all hanging down from their own weight. It was as if 30 peaches were glued together to form huge balls, and then stuck on the tree all over the place. I thought I discovered something, like some lost treasure.

    So I go over, and start picking as many as I can.

    But there's a reason why that tree wasn't touched guys.

    I go through a "ball" of peaches, and I get deeper, and then I yank off another peach, and I see darkness inside the ball, and that darkness moved. I look more closely, and HOLY SHIT IT'S A WASPS NEST. MOTHER FUCKING WASPS ALL CRAWLING ALL OVER INSIDE THERE OH MY GOD WHY?

    And then one just flies out and comes all buzzing with it's long legs all flailing demonically and free falls on my eye and stings me and then I feel it chewing my eye lid and I yell for God to kill me as I suddenly hear all of them buzzing. There had to be more hives or nests or whatever in each ball of peaches. I took off running with my eye swollen, scared for my life that they're coming after me. But I reach the car and explain what happened to my family and they all look terrified and they stayed clear of the demon peach tree while I sat in the car pouring water on my eye and keeping an ice pack on it.

    It's the closest I've ever been to Hell.

    D:

    D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:

    Dear God, WHY?! That makes me feel ill...

    Nerindil on
  • Options
    BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Belruel wrote: »

    i always check my fruit first for any tampering or soft spots, and usually i eat fruit by first cutting it into pieces. i am paranoid like that, and it also helps because i have wussy baby sensitive teeth

    your teeth are sensitive to babies? Eat less babies, then.

    no fuck you bel can eat all the babies she wants

    hells yea pip, tell it like it is.

    Belruel on
    vmn6rftb232b.png
  • Options
    Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Belruel wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Belruel wrote: »

    i always check my fruit first for any tampering or soft spots, and usually i eat fruit by first cutting it into pieces. i am paranoid like that, and it also helps because i have wussy baby sensitive teeth

    your teeth are sensitive to babies? Eat less babies, then.

    no fuck you bel can eat all the babies she wants

    hells yea pip, tell it like it is.

    or, conversely, eat the ones that are less chewy. tender, free-range babies would probably suit best.

    Caulk Bite 6 on
    jnij103vqi2i.png
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    BelruelBelruel NARUTO FUCKS Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Belruel wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Belruel wrote: »

    i always check my fruit first for any tampering or soft spots, and usually i eat fruit by first cutting it into pieces. i am paranoid like that, and it also helps because i have wussy baby sensitive teeth

    your teeth are sensitive to babies? Eat less babies, then.

    no fuck you bel can eat all the babies she wants

    hells yea pip, tell it like it is.

    or, conversely, eat the ones that are less chewy. tender, free-range babies would probably suit best.

    do you think babies can be like tough bread? if i soak one in some soup it'll be easier to chew?

    Belruel on
    vmn6rftb232b.png
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    KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Wait this thread is about things that are not delicious.


    Why are we talking about babies.

    They belong in the opposite thread.

    Khavall on
  • Options
    Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Belruel wrote: »
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Belruel wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    Belruel wrote: »

    i always check my fruit first for any tampering or soft spots, and usually i eat fruit by first cutting it into pieces. i am paranoid like that, and it also helps because i have wussy baby sensitive teeth

    your teeth are sensitive to babies? Eat less babies, then.

    no fuck you bel can eat all the babies she wants

    hells yea pip, tell it like it is.

    or, conversely, eat the ones that are less chewy. tender, free-range babies would probably suit best.

    do you think babies can be like tough bread? if i soak one in some soup it'll be easier to chew?

    It depends on the soup. Generally a good, hot broth should it.

    Caulk Bite 6 on
    jnij103vqi2i.png
  • Options
    see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited March 2008
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Caulk Bite wrote: »
    also, this thread has reminded me that I still have a scorpion lollipop somewhere here that my sister got for me. She works at the butterfly conservatory, and they sell all kinds of those insect snack things.

    and yes the stinger was cut off, prior to the little guy being dipped into a boiling vat of lemon flavoured candy. I can only presume that it was already dead too, but who knows.

    roasted

    here's the ingredient list:

    malitol syrup, scorpion, artificial flavouring and colouring (yellow 5)

    EDIT: Sorry, it's banana flavour, not lemon
    Fuck that.
    Banana flavored candy is terrible.

    see317 on
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