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God Hand is an ok game. Talk about it if you must.
Gilder
Aw snapMacaroni PartyRegistered User regular
Aw snapMacaroni PartyRegistered User regular
The problem with God Hand is that it's just a game about punching people.
The genius, of God Hand, is that it's just a game about punching people.
What is God Hand? God Hand is the last game made by Clover Studios before they shut down. I blame myself partly for this. Why? Because I didn't buy God Hand until about 3 weeks ago. This was an awful mistake because God Hand is the best game ever made in the history of games. If you have a PS2 and you have $20, then you must buy this game. If you don't have a PS2 then you should go buy one because unfortunately for you non-PS2 owners, this game is a PS2 exclusive.
In God Hand you control Gene, a man who has been given the power of God. In his hand. You use this hand to beat the absolute shit out of demons and thugs who are trying to rule the world. Am I serious when I say you can One Inch Punch people in the crotch all the way across the field? Yes, I am. Am I serious when I say you can Shaolin Blast someone with a gigantic fist made of energy? You better believe it. Is there a big demon monk guy who speaks spanish and is named Elvis? There sure is. But there's more than just that.
It has Chihuahua Races!
You can hit people with a bat into the SKY!
You can beat up these guys!
You can make the difficult choice of whether or not to use God Stomp or La Bomba!
You can kick people in the balls!
Note: The Ball Buster does not work on female enemies or select males.
You want MORE? You cannot handle everything this game has to offer. I shall tell you a mere sampling of what this game has to offer you though. You have women you spank into submission. Gorillas in wrestling outfits. Clowns that you knee in the face repeatedly. Robots that kamikaze you. Spells that turn you into a chihuahua. Poison Chihuahua's. Demons that look remarkably like regenerators from Resident Evil 4 but instead of sniping them you kick the shit out of them, and so much more!
There's one more thing you should know about God Hand. This game is blisteringly difficult. You will most likely die up to 15 times in the first set of stages. However this is not God Hand's fault. It is your fault. It is your fault for not playing the game with the finesse it requires. However in time, you shall learn the tricks of the trade. You will see enemies that killed you with ease earlier on and scoff at them because now you can defeat them without a scratch. You will be able to defeat demons with but one poke of your finger. All you must do is stay calm, cool, and collected. That is the way to victory.
If you are still unsure about whether or not to get this game, watch this trailer.
GOD HAND
After that, watch this VideoGaiden Review that explains this game in a way that I never could because I don't have a foreign accent.
REVIEW OF THE GODS
Now for the sake of fairness, here is the absolutely awful review by IGN who should be ashamed that they allowed such a review to be written. Do not trust this review, it is the worst review ever made. Keep in mind, no screenshot in the review is from after Stage 1. Here. It hurts me just looking at the url.
This game can be found used at most video game stores. This is because mortals that weren't ready for God Hand returned the game. This works for you though because the game goes for less than $20. To pass up on such an offer would be foolish. So go buy this game right now and become frustrated at your own inability to play it. But then come back here. Ask for help. You will get the guidance you seek and go back to the game a better fighter. A fighter with knowledge. The knowledge to kick ass.
This is a topic where we can discuss how amazing this game is and laugh at those who do not understand it. I know you are out there, fans of God Hand. Let us talk about this forgotten treasure of a game. Let us talk about it forever.
Edit: As per request of Bursar and the general consensus of many people, myself included, I must mention that the soundtrack for this game is incredibly awesome. The music is done by Masafumi Takada, also known as the guy who did the music for a little game called No More Heroes. For those of you that have played NMH, imagine over 20 songs just as awesome, if not more, playing while you do all of the aforementioned ass kicking. Has your mind exploded yet? Because it should've. I know mine did.
The genius, of God Hand, is that it's just a game about punching people.
What is God Hand? God Hand is the last game made by Clover Studios before they shut down. I blame myself partly for this. Why? Because I didn't buy God Hand until about 3 weeks ago. This was an awful mistake because God Hand is the best game ever made in the history of games. If you have a PS2 and you have $20, then you must buy this game. If you don't have a PS2 then you should go buy one because unfortunately for you non-PS2 owners, this game is a PS2 exclusive.
In God Hand you control Gene, a man who has been given the power of God. In his hand. You use this hand to beat the absolute shit out of demons and thugs who are trying to rule the world. Am I serious when I say you can One Inch Punch people in the crotch all the way across the field? Yes, I am. Am I serious when I say you can Shaolin Blast someone with a gigantic fist made of energy? You better believe it. Is there a big demon monk guy who speaks spanish and is named Elvis? There sure is. But there's more than just that.
It has Chihuahua Races!
You can hit people with a bat into the SKY!
You can beat up these guys!
You can make the difficult choice of whether or not to use God Stomp or La Bomba!
You can kick people in the balls!
Note: The Ball Buster does not work on female enemies or select males.
You want MORE? You cannot handle everything this game has to offer. I shall tell you a mere sampling of what this game has to offer you though. You have women you spank into submission. Gorillas in wrestling outfits. Clowns that you knee in the face repeatedly. Robots that kamikaze you. Spells that turn you into a chihuahua. Poison Chihuahua's. Demons that look remarkably like regenerators from Resident Evil 4 but instead of sniping them you kick the shit out of them, and so much more!
There's one more thing you should know about God Hand. This game is blisteringly difficult. You will most likely die up to 15 times in the first set of stages. However this is not God Hand's fault. It is your fault. It is your fault for not playing the game with the finesse it requires. However in time, you shall learn the tricks of the trade. You will see enemies that killed you with ease earlier on and scoff at them because now you can defeat them without a scratch. You will be able to defeat demons with but one poke of your finger. All you must do is stay calm, cool, and collected. That is the way to victory.
If you are still unsure about whether or not to get this game, watch this trailer.
GOD HAND
After that, watch this VideoGaiden Review that explains this game in a way that I never could because I don't have a foreign accent.
REVIEW OF THE GODS
Now for the sake of fairness, here is the absolutely awful review by IGN who should be ashamed that they allowed such a review to be written. Do not trust this review, it is the worst review ever made. Keep in mind, no screenshot in the review is from after Stage 1. Here. It hurts me just looking at the url.
This game can be found used at most video game stores. This is because mortals that weren't ready for God Hand returned the game. This works for you though because the game goes for less than $20. To pass up on such an offer would be foolish. So go buy this game right now and become frustrated at your own inability to play it. But then come back here. Ask for help. You will get the guidance you seek and go back to the game a better fighter. A fighter with knowledge. The knowledge to kick ass.
This is a topic where we can discuss how amazing this game is and laugh at those who do not understand it. I know you are out there, fans of God Hand. Let us talk about this forgotten treasure of a game. Let us talk about it forever.
Edit: As per request of Bursar and the general consensus of many people, myself included, I must mention that the soundtrack for this game is incredibly awesome. The music is done by Masafumi Takada, also known as the guy who did the music for a little game called No More Heroes. For those of you that have played NMH, imagine over 20 songs just as awesome, if not more, playing while you do all of the aforementioned ass kicking. Has your mind exploded yet? Because it should've. I know mine did.
Gilder on
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The genius, of God Hand, is that it's just a game about punching people.
edit: :^: gj, adding it to op
Steam ID: slashx000______Twitter: @bill_at_zeboyd______ Facebook: Zeboyd Games
And my friend watching me saying "Man, you suck." every time I died didn't help either.
Oh you bet your ass I did. By the end of that ordeal, I was dodging and punching shit like the fist of the fucking northstar
Getting lucky with item drops helped too8-)
Also: I love the soundtrack for God Hand so fucking much
PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
Also I'm pretty sure the guy who did the soundtrack for this game did the soundtrack for No More Heroes. It has the same style in a lot of sections. And that style is awesome.
Tumblr
It is pure awesome. It's by Masafumi Takada, the same guy who did the soundtrack for No More Heroes.
Edit: Well, never mind then, if you're just going to post that information while I'm still composing this post. Be that way.
PSN: Wstfgl | GamerTag: An Evil Plan | Battle.net: FallenIdle#1970
Hit me up on BoardGameArena! User: Loaded D1
Make no mistake
They will punch you
PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
This is a travesty, and shall not go unpunished.
No demon punches me anywhere.
Eventually we'll have all of G&T playing God Hand.
Yeah right, you're like the guy who stays the night, then says, "Yeah, I'll call you for sure!", but then you never call me.
That review is not a review. It is a travesty upon all mankind. However for those who are interested in it, here you go. Something to note, none of the screenshots in the review are from levels after stage 1.
It's the perfect counterbalance to the VG review. Good and Evil personified if you will.
....AAAND????
YOU'RE NOT ALEXANDER
I knew this review was going to be legendary when I read the beginning.
God Hand Review
Clover Studio delivers its oddest game yet, but unfortunately the joke's on us.
The hell I'm not. I beat Death Shudder! My defenses are impregnable!
*PUNCHES YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE*
Oh wait, wrong guy.
Oh yeah - and God Hand's superb, obviously. And the more threads like this we get popping up on the front page, the more exposure it gets - and it needs as much as it can get! Only thing that really put me off were the seemingly random difficulty spikes (like the first level, which must have put so many people off, and the first Elvis fight), and the disconcerting way that buildings popped in and out of existence.
Dominatrix spanking.
Dominatrix spanking.
Really, that's all anybody needs to know.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
You're both ignorant.
Scotland is part of Britain.
Gilder, tell Shady to get it because last time I checked he doesn't have it.
A fucking lot of people.
Both games are tough, but God Hand is a different, much more tolerable kind of tough.
I mean there is this game, with it's obvious merits.
Then there's the original Viewtiful Joe which is just about everything you'd ever want from a 2D Beat 'em up.
I just couldn't stop.
I had to keep punching people. So many people.
This is a great op, finally one that really does the game justice.
Really, what more do you need?
The OP needs a spoiler warninged link to the song.
I let that IGN review stop me from buying this game when it first came out.
I knew not what evil they had wrought!
Seriously, I need to get this. Any game reminiscent of early 90s brawlers = win.
I told you I don't like tank controls.
DAMN YOU FOR MAKING ME BUY THIS GAME IN SPITE OF THAT.