OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
edited August 2010
Wait, it is not important at all, but are you a guy or a girl, Melk? I always thought you were a guy. I guess I assume most everyone is until they talk about their boobs.
I've gotten 5 messages today. And the last one... I felt like finally doing quickmatch after seeing I got another email from it, and I think I gave my first 4 or 5 stars (usually the profile sinks everyone). And she messaged me 'cause she'd rated me first. I didn't think that thing actually worked!
She is hells of cute and has a similar sense of humor. I am tingling which probably means I will absolutely strike out.
Hey everyone. I usually don't frequent D&D but since my GF broke up with me and I'm now "on the market" again, I'd like some tips on how to make a decent profile picture. Not for dating sites specifically but one that I can use on every social site because my current one is over a year old.
I haven't changed much over the course of that year but I think it is pretty boring and not very appealing.
While the glasses are cool, I think wearing them while clearly inside makes me a giant douche (Which might not be that wrong, according to some people *cough*). Also the silly beard is gone. Problem is without it I can look very feminine from certain angles since I'm very slim and have long hair.
So, any tips for taking a decent picture of myself?
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Welp, I got a message from a guy with a 60% match rate. I had no idea that the "The 2 of You" tab is retitled to "Ya'll Have Issues" if the person is an abysmally low match.
(The dude doesn't want to have sex before marriage, would be okay with cutting off all contact with an ex at the partner's request, doesn't believe in abortion rights, thinks creationism should be taught in public schools, aaand thinks burning the flag should be illegal.)
this doesn't even make sense...........maybe he was trying to convert you? ha
Hey everyone. I usually don't frequent D&D but since my GF broke up with me and I'm now "on the market" again, I'd like some tips on how to make a decent profile picture. Not for dating sites specifically but one that I can use on every social site because my current one is over a year old.
I haven't changed much over the course of that year but I think it is pretty boring and not very appealing.
While the glasses are cool, I think wearing them while clearly inside makes me a giant douche (Which might not be that wrong, according to some people *cough*). Also the silly beard is gone. Problem is without it I can look very feminine from certain angles since I'm very slim and have long hair.
So, any tips for taking a decent picture of myself?
Not a huge fan of that picture. That said, you have a lot of potential. The profile pics that catch my attention are usually ones taken outside, honestly. They can be doing something (outdoor-type activity), but a nice pic sitting on a bench or on the grass (or standing against a tree or some other natury thing, or even at some interesting "landmark" in the area/your yard.) smiling at the camera is always good too. I usually also like something that seems like a quick snap, like "Hey, I was out here hanging out with my friends and someone just took this picture." Now I now that isn't always as easily done as said, but it's worth the effort. Or play around with the self-timer on your camera. It's not like anyone knows the difference.
I am rarely a fan of long hair, particularly on more feminine-looking guys (I am a fan of feminine-looking guys, so it's a hair thing.) You might consider pulling your hair back for a picture. It might help avoid making you look more feminine than you'd prefer.
Alright, I appreciate the feedback on my profile guys.
The arrogance thing...I've given up on not coming across as arrogant. Maybe I really am; I don't think so, but I wouldn't, would I? I don't look down on people or anything, though.
I'm not sure how I feel about the eyes thing. I'm not making it up, but I can see how it might sound like bullshit and put someone off, especially if I otherwise come off as arrogant.
I also agree that my Friday Night section is dismal and needs reworking or just to be cut entirely.
Kakos, I'm going to have to disagree with you on the religion, politics, etc., thing. I take those things very seriously. To the point where if someone isn't comfortable with my views then even chatting would be a waste of time. So I'll chalk that up to difference in how we value things.
All in all, thanks. I'll give it another go-over and see if I can soften the way I say certain things without feeling dishonest.
If it cheers you up Kamar, people often think me arrogant because of the way I talk. Not WHAT I say but HOW I say it. I have no control over it, which makes things hard for me sometimes.
Also I just found this - Pretty astounding conclusions.
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Unless you have a medical reason, you always have control over how you say things.
True enough but it takes a lot of concious effort to change the way one sounds while talking. Haven't gotten around to adressing that.
Also holy shit apparently I have BMI of 17,5. :?
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Unless you have a medical reason, you always have control over how you say things.
But you have little control over people's perceptions of it.
I don't know about that, if people are commonly reacting to you in a way you wish they wouldn't, or are taking you the wrong way because of how you express yourself, if you want to get a different reaction from people, you need to change how you communicate.
In other words "its not them, its you" :P
Corvus on
:so_raven:
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FencingsaxIt is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understandingGNU Terry PratchettRegistered Userregular
edited August 2010
So what's the ratio of messages to actual dates for most people?
Fencingsax on
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
Unless you have a medical reason, you always have control over how you say things.
But you have little control over people's perceptions of it.
I don't know about that, if people are commonly reacting to you in a way you wish they wouldn't, or are taking you the wrong way because of how you express yourself, if you want to get a different reaction from people, you need to change how you communicate.
In other words "its not them, its you" :P
A lot of people have a large disconnect between their voice inside and outside their skulls, not to mention people who have trouble relating tone to response.
Wait, it is not important at all, but are you a guy or a girl, Melk? I always thought you were a guy. I guess I assume most everyone is until they talk about their boobs.
You need to respond with, "Hey, it seems we don't have much in common but maybe I'm wrong. What caused you to message me? How did you even stumble upon my profile?"
Imp again with the good advice up here.
The percentages are cool, but definitely not foolproof (one of the reasons I tried OKC in the first place was because a bunch of my friends had met people using it, and a few of them were very low in terms of match percentage. I know that would normally mean that they did not agree on a lot of relatively key issues, but sometimes opposites attract.
That, and I've never really been entirely comfortable with the idea that you could quantify human attraction on an emotional or physical level.
Wait, it is not important at all, but are you a guy or a girl, Melk? I always thought you were a guy. I guess I assume most everyone is until they talk about their boobs.
I'm a dude who dates other dudes. :P
SmokeStacks on
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admanbunionize your workplaceSeattle, WARegistered Userregular
Welp, I got a message from a guy with a 60% match rate. I had no idea that the "The 2 of You" tab is retitled to "Ya'll Have Issues" if the person is an abysmally low match.
(The dude doesn't want to have sex before marriage, would be okay with cutting off all contact with an ex at the partner's request, doesn't believe in abortion rights, thinks creationism should be taught in public schools, aaand thinks burning the flag should be illegal.)
= cognitive dissonance. I can't imagine that dude is particularly comfortable with his homosexuality.
Maybe it's actually his fetish-profile and he just likes to pretend he's a conservative. :P
Edit: I just took some pictures of myself and goddamn forget everything I said about not having changed. These are the first close-ups I've seen of myself for a long time and I really look... Oh I don't even know. It's totally different from seeing yourself in a mirror for some reason.
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Wait, it is not important at all, but are you a guy or a girl, Melk? I always thought you were a guy. I guess I assume most everyone is until they talk about their boobs.
I'm a dude who dates other dudes. :P
I wish my postcount were higher Smoke, 'cause this'd be reported for Awesome right quick. I laughed out loud at 4am and woke up the cats.
In other crazy-dating news, I need to lock down a date with this gorgeous theater girl but my working 3rd shift and her 9-5 is causing some conflict. Stupid work.
Hey everyone. I usually don't frequent D&D but since my GF broke up with me and I'm now "on the market" again, I'd like some tips on how to make a decent profile picture. Not for dating sites specifically but one that I can use on every social site because my current one is over a year old.
I haven't changed much over the course of that year but I think it is pretty boring and not very appealing.
While the glasses are cool, I think wearing them while clearly inside makes me a giant douche (Which might not be that wrong, according to some people *cough*). Also the silly beard is gone. Problem is without it I can look very feminine from certain angles since I'm very slim and have long hair.
So, any tips for taking a decent picture of myself?
Chicks dig feminine guys though. I get approached/messaged a lot because its a bit more non threatening. My only tip is to take multiple pics, different clothing styles, make sure you smile in a few, dont do the same expression/angle.
Alright, I appreciate the feedback on my profile guys.
The arrogance thing...I've given up on not coming across as arrogant. Maybe I really am; I don't think so, but I wouldn't, would I? I don't look down on people or anything, though.
I'm not sure how I feel about the eyes thing. I'm not making it up, but I can see how it might sound like bullshit and put someone off, especially if I otherwise come off as arrogant.
I also agree that my Friday Night section is dismal and needs reworking or just to be cut entirely.
Kakos, I'm going to have to disagree with you on the religion, politics, etc., thing. I take those things very seriously. To the point where if someone isn't comfortable with my views then even chatting would be a waste of time. So I'll chalk that up to difference in how we value things.
All in all, thanks. I'll give it another go-over and see if I can soften the way I say certain things without feeling dishonest.
Thinking you're more awesome than other people for no tangible reason is also arrogance. You don't have to look down on people, just think that you're better and there ya go. And you know what? You might be way better at things than, like, anyone, but that's not an attractive trait for a dating profile. It really is a put off. You're not supposed to talk about how awesome you are.
Drop the eyes thing entirely because of how it can be interpreted. Its not important to deal with this. If you think that it is, use pictures of you showing the different eye colors and mention it in the caption. "Nope, those aren't contacts. My eyes actually change colors sometimes."
Also drop the religion, politics, etc thing because even if someone does take those things seriously and will talk about them at length, they will probably be turned away by what you wrote; thus netting you a big fat nadda. Find as many questions as you can about these topics and answer them with "very important" instead.
You need to respond with, "Hey, it seems we don't have much in common but maybe I'm wrong. What caused you to message me? How did you even stumble upon my profile?"
Imp again with the good advice up here.
The percentages are cool, but definitely not foolproof (one of the reasons I tried OKC in the first place was because a bunch of my friends had met people using it, and a few of them were very low in terms of match percentage. I know that would normally mean that they did not agree on a lot of relatively key issues, but sometimes opposites attract.
That, and I've never really been entirely comfortable with the idea that you could quantify human attraction on an emotional or physical level.
Takes the magic away.
More than less, I disagree with you. I just want the ridiculous answer he has. Besides, I love finding out how people who have nothing in common with me or live crazy far away even find me. I think if you answer enough questions honestly, especially marking those that are important to you and how you want your partner to answer, the match system is a good indicator.
Improvolone on
Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
Alright, since I'm apparently coming across as arrogant to an overwhelming majority, I changed that bit to something I'm hoping is much less controversial. I also cut the eyes thing.
I will note in my defense that I don't think I'm better than anyone else, either. Better at some things? Sure. Better in an absolute sense? Not even a little. You can't sum people up like they're D&D characters.
Unless you have a medical reason, you always have control over how you say things.
But you have little control over people's perceptions of it.
I don't know about that, if people are commonly reacting to you in a way you wish they wouldn't, or are taking you the wrong way because of how you express yourself, if you want to get a different reaction from people, you need to change how you communicate.
In other words "its not them, its you" :P
True. But in my case I've had widely varying perceptions depending on the person and situation so I tend not to think about it much. Cuts both ways honestly; there's only so much you can do.
Edit: Weird that I still get at least a few visitors a month even with my status as Married.
Unless you have a medical reason, you always have control over how you say things.
But you have little control over people's perceptions of it.
I don't know about that, if people are commonly reacting to you in a way you wish they wouldn't, or are taking you the wrong way because of how you express yourself, if you want to get a different reaction from people, you need to change how you communicate.
In other words "its not them, its you" :P
True. But in my case I've had widely varying perceptions depending on the person and situation so I tend not to think about it much. Cuts both ways honestly; there's only so much you can do.
Edit: Weird that I still get at least a few visitors a month even with my status as Married.
If OKCupid is anything like the dating sites I know, those visits probably come from bots.
Here is a picture of me that I took this morning, fresh from the bathroom, clean shaven and all. It's pretty much "as good as it gets" from a look-point of view, angle and lightning are shit of course.
I'm afraid it shows off my bad attributes rather than my good ones - Eyes and nose that is.
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
What the fuck, when someone's inbox is full it just straight up tells you when you try to message them that it's not possible. Is there a way to work around that?
What the fuck, when someone's inbox is full it just straight up tells you when you try to message them that it's not possible. Is there a way to work around that?
Be a paying member, you are still able to send messages to people who have full inboxes.
Here is a picture of me that I took this morning, fresh from the bathroom, clean shaven and all. It's pretty much "as good as it gets" from a look-point of view, angle and lightning are shit of course.
I'm afraid it shows off my bad attributes rather than my good ones - Eyes and nose that is.
You're so close to a smile...so close! haha. Actually, I like your eyes. Also, +1 on the glasses. Good style for you.
So, a question for the learned folks around here, because I'm not sure about the social protocol.
I was messaging with a couple girls, and then I started dating one of them, and I stopped messaging with the other. Didn't work out with the girl and it's been about a month since I was messaging with this other girl.
Is it cool to just pick up where we left off? Should I explain why I dropped to conversation in the first place?
Just want not to make a mistake that could otherwise be easily avoided.
LoserForHireX on
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to give into it." - Oscar Wilde
"We believe in the people and their 'wisdom' as if there was some special secret entrance to knowledge that barred to anyone who had ever learned anything." - Friedrich Nietzsche
Unless you have a medical reason, you always have control over how you say things.
But you have little control over people's perceptions of it.
I don't know about that, if people are commonly reacting to you in a way you wish they wouldn't, or are taking you the wrong way because of how you express yourself, if you want to get a different reaction from people, you need to change how you communicate.
In other words "its not them, its you" :P
True. But in my case I've had widely varying perceptions depending on the person and situation so I tend not to think about it much. Cuts both ways honestly; there's only so much you can do.
Edit: Weird that I still get at least a few visitors a month even with my status as Married.
If OKCupid is anything like the dating sites I know, those visits probably come from bots.
Nope, not bots. Honest to goodness people, some of whom I would have messaged in my dating days.
Word of advice :
Do not tell a girl you poisoned her drink after she refuses to drink it, even if it is a joke, she will legitimately think she was correct by not drinking it, thus make you look like a douche.
Which i have done, during a movie.. Never seen her again.
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I've gotten 5 messages today. And the last one... I felt like finally doing quickmatch after seeing I got another email from it, and I think I gave my first 4 or 5 stars (usually the profile sinks everyone). And she messaged me 'cause she'd rated me first. I didn't think that thing actually worked!
She is hells of cute and has a similar sense of humor. I am tingling which probably means I will absolutely strike out.
I haven't changed much over the course of that year but I think it is pretty boring and not very appealing.
While the glasses are cool, I think wearing them while clearly inside makes me a giant douche (Which might not be that wrong, according to some people *cough*). Also the silly beard is gone. Problem is without it I can look very feminine from certain angles since I'm very slim and have long hair.
So, any tips for taking a decent picture of myself?
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Not a huge fan of that picture. That said, you have a lot of potential. The profile pics that catch my attention are usually ones taken outside, honestly. They can be doing something (outdoor-type activity), but a nice pic sitting on a bench or on the grass (or standing against a tree or some other natury thing, or even at some interesting "landmark" in the area/your yard.) smiling at the camera is always good too. I usually also like something that seems like a quick snap, like "Hey, I was out here hanging out with my friends and someone just took this picture." Now I now that isn't always as easily done as said, but it's worth the effort. Or play around with the self-timer on your camera. It's not like anyone knows the difference.
I am rarely a fan of long hair, particularly on more feminine-looking guys (I am a fan of feminine-looking guys, so it's a hair thing.) You might consider pulling your hair back for a picture. It might help avoid making you look more feminine than you'd prefer.
That's my late-night $0.02 at the moment.
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The arrogance thing...I've given up on not coming across as arrogant. Maybe I really am; I don't think so, but I wouldn't, would I? I don't look down on people or anything, though.
I'm not sure how I feel about the eyes thing. I'm not making it up, but I can see how it might sound like bullshit and put someone off, especially if I otherwise come off as arrogant.
I also agree that my Friday Night section is dismal and needs reworking or just to be cut entirely.
Kakos, I'm going to have to disagree with you on the religion, politics, etc., thing. I take those things very seriously. To the point where if someone isn't comfortable with my views then even chatting would be a waste of time. So I'll chalk that up to difference in how we value things.
All in all, thanks. I'll give it another go-over and see if I can soften the way I say certain things without feeling dishonest.
Also I just found this - Pretty astounding conclusions.
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
True enough but it takes a lot of concious effort to change the way one sounds while talking. Haven't gotten around to adressing that.
Also holy shit apparently I have BMI of 17,5. :?
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
But you have little control over people's perceptions of it.
I don't know about that, if people are commonly reacting to you in a way you wish they wouldn't, or are taking you the wrong way because of how you express yourself, if you want to get a different reaction from people, you need to change how you communicate.
In other words "its not them, its you" :P
A lot of people have a large disconnect between their voice inside and outside their skulls, not to mention people who have trouble relating tone to response.
I'm a dude who dates other dudes. :P
Imp again with the good advice up here.
The percentages are cool, but definitely not foolproof (one of the reasons I tried OKC in the first place was because a bunch of my friends had met people using it, and a few of them were very low in terms of match percentage. I know that would normally mean that they did not agree on a lot of relatively key issues, but sometimes opposites attract.
That, and I've never really been entirely comfortable with the idea that you could quantify human attraction on an emotional or physical level.
Takes the magic away.
+ this
= cognitive dissonance. I can't imagine that dude is particularly comfortable with his homosexuality.
Edit: I just took some pictures of myself and goddamn forget everything I said about not having changed. These are the first close-ups I've seen of myself for a long time and I really look... Oh I don't even know. It's totally different from seeing yourself in a mirror for some reason.
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
I wish my postcount were higher Smoke, 'cause this'd be reported for Awesome right quick. I laughed out loud at 4am and woke up the cats.
In other crazy-dating news, I need to lock down a date with this gorgeous theater girl but my working 3rd shift and her 9-5 is causing some conflict. Stupid work.
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Chicks dig feminine guys though. I get approached/messaged a lot because its a bit more non threatening. My only tip is to take multiple pics, different clothing styles, make sure you smile in a few, dont do the same expression/angle.
Drop the eyes thing entirely because of how it can be interpreted. Its not important to deal with this. If you think that it is, use pictures of you showing the different eye colors and mention it in the caption. "Nope, those aren't contacts. My eyes actually change colors sometimes."
Also drop the religion, politics, etc thing because even if someone does take those things seriously and will talk about them at length, they will probably be turned away by what you wrote; thus netting you a big fat nadda. Find as many questions as you can about these topics and answer them with "very important" instead.
More than less, I disagree with you. I just want the ridiculous answer he has. Besides, I love finding out how people who have nothing in common with me or live crazy far away even find me. I think if you answer enough questions honestly, especially marking those that are important to you and how you want your partner to answer, the match system is a good indicator.
That is really quite astonishing. Though I must say that I have always been a fan of the "MySpace Shot."
Well, looks like I need to put up some interesting photos and a self taken one.
That said, when I posted my profile up a few weeks ago, tons of you all looked at it but no one gave me any suggestions. o_O
I will note in my defense that I don't think I'm better than anyone else, either. Better at some things? Sure. Better in an absolute sense? Not even a little. You can't sum people up like they're D&D characters.
True. But in my case I've had widely varying perceptions depending on the person and situation so I tend not to think about it much. Cuts both ways honestly; there's only so much you can do.
Edit: Weird that I still get at least a few visitors a month even with my status as Married.
Just saw this on a profile's summary
That HAS to be a fake profile. hahahaha.
If OKCupid is anything like the dating sites I know, those visits probably come from bots.
Here is a picture of me that I took this morning, fresh from the bathroom, clean shaven and all. It's pretty much "as good as it gets" from a look-point of view, angle and lightning are shit of course.
I'm afraid it shows off my bad attributes rather than my good ones - Eyes and nose that is.
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Welp, updating my profile.
We could have so much fun with this.
XBL : lJesse Custerl | MWO: Jesse Custer | Best vid ever. | 2nd best vid ever.
Be a paying member, you are still able to send messages to people who have full inboxes.
http://www.okcupid.com/a-list-extras?activate=messaging
Other than that? Dunno.
You're so close to a smile...so close! haha. Actually, I like your eyes. Also, +1 on the glasses. Good style for you.
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I was messaging with a couple girls, and then I started dating one of them, and I stopped messaging with the other. Didn't work out with the girl and it's been about a month since I was messaging with this other girl.
Is it cool to just pick up where we left off? Should I explain why I dropped to conversation in the first place?
Just want not to make a mistake that could otherwise be easily avoided.
"We believe in the people and their 'wisdom' as if there was some special secret entrance to knowledge that barred to anyone who had ever learned anything." - Friedrich Nietzsche
Uh, yeah, saying "I liked someone else better, but that didn't work out, how you doing?" would seem like a bad strategy.
Tell her that you'd been chatting with the other girl longer and that she asked you out.
Nope, not bots. Honest to goodness people, some of whom I would have messaged in my dating days.
Do not tell a girl you poisoned her drink after she refuses to drink it, even if it is a joke, she will legitimately think she was correct by not drinking it, thus make you look like a douche.
Which i have done, during a movie.. Never seen her again.