Occupy Hell: How come 1% of the forumers get 99% of the gifts?! [Secret Satans]

Lost Salient · November 2011

I'll just send him my old flip phone. Not only antique but Korean and thus double-useless.

The Lovely Bastard wrote:

Legba wrote:

Lost Salient wrote:

You know that thing you do where you pretend you're turning a crank to roll up your middle finger

I am doing that but with my thumb

in fact, with both of my thumbs

How can you crank both thumbs at the same time? What are you cranking with?

her prehensile lady dong

god, you know nothing of the female body

Whew, glad you saved me having to give the anatomy lesson there. Bet Legba feels awkward!

Bucketman · November 2011

Guys I mailed myself to my satan, but they haven't opened the package yet. I'm afraid I'll run out of air

The Lovely Bastard · November 2011

Lost Salient wrote:

I'll just send him my old flip phone. Not only antique but Korean and thus double-useless.

The Lovely Bastard wrote:

Legba wrote:

Lost Salient wrote:

You know that thing you do where you pretend you're turning a crank to roll up your middle finger

I am doing that but with my thumb

in fact, with both of my thumbs

How can you crank both thumbs at the same time? What are you cranking with?

her prehensile lady dong

god, you know nothing of the female body

Whew, glad you saved me having to give the anatomy lesson there. Bet Legba feels awkward!

I would hope so

you didn't even wanna get into trying to explain womb talons to him

Okami · November 2011

oh dammit, I might not be able to get my other packages until monday because they post office they're at is only open from 10-2 and I work an 8-7

maybe I can angle a way to go on lunch around one and go get them

godmode · November 2011

I need to stop ordering things on weekends. There's nothing more annoying than waiting five days for two-day shipping.

TheStig · November 2011

godmode wrote:

I need to stop ordering things on weekends. There's nothing more annoying than waiting five days for two-day shipping.

yeah...

I just did this, but I didn't have a choice because it was a black friday deal.

It's still lame though.

godmode · November 2011

Honestly, I just got impatient and wanted to buy things while the ideas were fresh

Goose! · November 2011

My Satan also got me a shortened NBA season! Yaay!

godmode · November 2011

I wonder which organization of professional athletes is going to strike next.

Goose! · November 2011

Probably none. Strikes haven't happened in a long time. Most labor disputes among pro sports these days wind up in owner lockout, not athlete strike.

Tox · November 2011

Goose! wrote:

Probably none. Strikes haven't happened in a long time. Most labor disputes among pro sports these days wind up in owner lockout, not athlete strike.

Yeah but that just goes to show you how pro-union this country has become! The laws all favor the people playing a game, not the handful of people risking their hard-earned fortunes to provide a venue for these athletes to express their talents!

or something. slash-tinfoil

Legba · November 2011

The Lovely Bastard wrote:

Legba wrote:

Lost Salient wrote:

You know that thing you do where you pretend you're turning a crank to roll up your middle finger

I am doing that but with my thumb

in fact, with both of my thumbs

How can you crank both thumbs at the same time? What are you cranking with?

her prehensile lady dong

god, you know nothing of the female body

Who knew Kegel exercises would work so well!

Sheri · November 2011

Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

Fyndir · November 2011

Sheri wrote:

Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

Your wish is granted.

BEAST! · November 2011

Keith wrote:

There's a call here for Swarley

my kitten is named Swarley...we are just about to go to the vet for shots!!!! woo!

Keith · November 2011

BEAST! wrote:

Keith wrote:

There's a call here for Swarley

my kitten is named Swarley...we are just about to go to the vet for shots!!!! woo!

Do you sometimes call it Swarles Barkley?

MoosehatIV · November 2011

ceres wrote:

!!!!!

Spoiler:

Thank you! <3

Hooray! Everything made it in one piece.

I now dub Ceres the super sleuth of the forums. Go forth and solve all of the mysteries.

BEAST! · November 2011

Keith wrote:

BEAST! wrote:

Keith wrote:

There's a call here for Swarley

my kitten is named Swarley...we are just about to go to the vet for shots!!!! woo!

Do you sometimes call it Swarles Barkley?

I usually call him Bob Swarley, mon.

Stale · November 2011

Sheri wrote:

Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

Semen. lots of it.

Hunter · November 2011

Stale wrote:

Sheri wrote:

Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

Semen. lots of it.

Orally or by suppository?

Stale · November 2011

The Lovely Bastard wrote:

Lost Salient wrote:

I'll just send him my old flip phone. Not only antique but Korean and thus double-useless.

The Lovely Bastard wrote:

Legba wrote:

Lost Salient wrote:

You know that thing you do where you pretend you're turning a crank to roll up your middle finger

I am doing that but with my thumb

in fact, with both of my thumbs

How can you crank both thumbs at the same time? What are you cranking with?

her prehensile lady dong

god, you know nothing of the female body

Whew, glad you saved me having to give the anatomy lesson there. Bet Legba feels awkward!

I would hope so

you didn't even wanna get into trying to explain womb talons to him

Stale · November 2011

Hunter wrote:

Stale wrote:

Sheri wrote:

Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

Semen. lots of it.

Orally or by suppository?

I recommend a 3cc oral dosage per every 30 mins for 8 hours. A 6cc suppository dosage every 20 mins for 12 hours.

The Lovely Bastard · November 2011

stale you marvelous bastard

Stale · November 2011

sarukun · November 2011

ceres wrote:

!!!!!

Spoiler:

Thank you! <3

Holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

(b'.')b

sarukun · November 2011

Okami wrote:

Work has been such bullshit today. I got in at 5:30 this morning and worked damn near seven hours before I was able to even have a break, just constant running back and forth, taking care of dogs, grooming, etc. and just barely got off just before four. I am worn out and agitated as hell.

I get home, realize I still have my mail key on me from the other night so I figure "hell, why not, there probably isn't anything but more credit card offers but I might as well look". First thing my eyes lock on when I open? A parcel box key! I gasp, oh what could it be? I unlock the door to find a small box from amazon and I basically make this face

My excitement grows, as I gather my other mail and take it all inside.

Spoiler:

golly amazon's giftwrap sure is nice, oh what do you contain mystery items?

A new DS game! I don't think I've actually heard of this one, but I definitely liked Kingdom Hearts so seeing how this is devolped by the same team, I don't think I'll be disappointed :3

YES! The note kind of gave it away since my brain immediately read "bling blong" in Kevin's voice. I am super happy to finally have this DVD set.

Amongst my other mail there seems to be a note reading that there are two more parcels that will be ready to pick up from my nearest post office tomorrow! The wonder and anticipation continues! Thank you Marth! You have completely turned my awful day around

Fabulous, fabulous giftage.

Gonna go add Mission Hill to my wish list so I don't forget that it exists.

Sweeney Tom · November 2011

Oh my God that's wonderful

chrishallett83 · November 2011

Stale wrote:

Hunter wrote:

Stale wrote:

Sheri wrote:

Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

Semen. lots of it.

Orally or by suppository?

I recommend a 3cc oral dosage per every 30 mins for 8 hours. A 6cc suppository dosage every 20 mins for 12 hours.

Damn! She's going to be busy...

Okami · November 2011

Yaaaaaaaay managed to take lunch in time to hit the post office, apparently I misread the notecard and there was only one package at the post office. The postal worker was kind of a dick about it since it seems the only reason they had it was because the place it shipped from mis-weighed it and didn't pay the full postage.

Spoiler:

sarukun · November 2011

Second wave is out.

My Satanee actually did me a favor, and helped me find some exceptionally rad gifts for my new Brother-In-Law. I will thank them fully when secrecy is no longer required.

Zonugal · November 2011

So three of my eight gifts arrived here. When all eight arrive I can wrap them up and send them out to my satanee.

Woo!

Marth · November 2011

Okami wrote:

Yaaaaaaaay managed to take lunch in time to hit the post office, apparently I misread the notecard and there was only one package at the post office. The postal worker was kind of a dick about it since it seems the only reason they had it was because the place it shipped from mis-weighed it and didn't pay the full postage.

Spoiler:

omg Mars! and she came with a postcard for every other character too!

Thank you thank you thank you! I'm so glad to finally have her, it was worth the early lunch :3

You're very welcome!

There should be one more thing there, the package tracking hasn't updated since it said out for delivery so I assume it went to the post office.

Okami · November 2011

Marth wrote:

You're very welcome!

There should be one more thing there, the package tracking hasn't updated since it said out for delivery so I assume it went to the post office.

Last package arrived safe! It was sitting in my mail box, instead of at the post office.

Spoiler:

Goose! · November 2011

My Satanee should be receiving their package Monday, or so sayeth Amazon.

Marth · November 2011

Okami wrote:

Marth wrote:

You're very welcome!

There should be one more thing there, the package tracking hasn't updated since it said out for delivery so I assume it went to the post office.

Last package arrived safe! It was sitting in my mail box, instead of at the post office.

Spoiler:

Yesssss now I want to go get sushi just to have an excuse to use these as soon as possible. All my wooden chopsticks have been getting broken lately so it's nice to finally have a nice pair again.

All together now! Thank you Marth! I love all of it <3

Great succcess

Vivixenne · November 2011

there's some great gift-giving going on this year, guys

I am impressed

godmode · November 2011

Most definitely. Glad I got in on it this year.

chrishallett83 · November 2011

There are multiple packages winging their way to my Satan as we speak - all I have to do now is figure out something to get them that is quintessentially West Australian, and will remind them everytime they look at it that they live in the wrong place and should move here because W.A. is the best place in the universe... Any ideas, people?

Weaver · November 2011

Sheri wrote:

Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

I don't know if there's anywhere down there that will give Javen neckrub lessons.

Legba · November 2011

chrishallett83 wrote:

There are multiple packages winging their way to my Satan as we speak - all I have to do now is figure out something to get them that is quintessentially West Australian, and will remind them everytime they look at it that they live in the wrong place and should move here because W.A. is the best place in the universe... Any ideas, people?

Well whatever you do, don't send plut any Tim Tams.

Penny Arcade

Occupy Hell: How come 1% of the forumers get 99% of the gifts?! [Secret Satans]

Posts