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Occupy Hell: How come 1% of the forumers get 99% of the gifts?! [Secret Satans]

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Posts

  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    I'll just send him my old flip phone. Not only antique but Korean and thus double-useless.
    Legba wrote:
    You know that thing you do where you pretend you're turning a crank to roll up your middle finger

    I am doing that but with my thumb

    in fact, with both of my thumbs

    How can you crank both thumbs at the same time? What are you cranking with?

    her prehensile lady dong

    god, you know nothing of the female body

    Whew, glad you saved me having to give the anatomy lesson there. Bet Legba feels awkward!

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • BucketmanBucketman Call me SkraggRegistered User regular
    Guys I mailed myself to my satan, but they haven't opened the package yet. I'm afraid I'll run out of air

  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    I'll just send him my old flip phone. Not only antique but Korean and thus double-useless.
    Legba wrote:
    You know that thing you do where you pretend you're turning a crank to roll up your middle finger

    I am doing that but with my thumb

    in fact, with both of my thumbs

    How can you crank both thumbs at the same time? What are you cranking with?

    her prehensile lady dong

    god, you know nothing of the female body

    Whew, glad you saved me having to give the anatomy lesson there. Bet Legba feels awkward!

    I would hope so

    you didn't even wanna get into trying to explain womb talons to him

    7656367.jpg
  • OkamiOkami On the internet nobody knows you're a dog. Nobody. Land of Ports, OreganoRegistered User regular
    oh dammit, I might not be able to get my other packages until monday because they post office they're at is only open from 10-2 and I work an 8-7 :(


    maybe I can angle a way to go on lunch around one and go get them

  • godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    I need to stop ordering things on weekends. There's nothing more annoying than waiting five days for two-day shipping.

  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    godmode wrote:
    I need to stop ordering things on weekends. There's nothing more annoying than waiting five days for two-day shipping.

    yeah...

    I just did this, but I didn't have a choice because it was a black friday deal.

    It's still lame though.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
  • godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    Honestly, I just got impatient and wanted to buy things while the ideas were fresh :D

  • Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    edited November 2011
    My Satan also got me a shortened NBA season! Yaay!

    Goose! on
  • godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    I wonder which organization of professional athletes is going to strike next.

  • Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    Probably none. Strikes haven't happened in a long time. Most labor disputes among pro sports these days wind up in owner lockout, not athlete strike.

  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Goose! wrote:
    Probably none. Strikes haven't happened in a long time. Most labor disputes among pro sports these days wind up in owner lockout, not athlete strike.

    Yeah but that just goes to show you how pro-union this country has become! The laws all favor the people playing a game, not the handful of people risking their hard-earned fortunes to provide a venue for these athletes to express their talents!

    or something. slash-tinfoil

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • LegbaLegba He did. Registered User regular
    edited November 2011
    Legba wrote:
    You know that thing you do where you pretend you're turning a crank to roll up your middle finger

    I am doing that but with my thumb

    in fact, with both of my thumbs

    How can you crank both thumbs at the same time? What are you cranking with?

    her prehensile lady dong

    god, you know nothing of the female body

    Who knew Kegel exercises would work so well!

    Legba on
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

  • FyndirFyndir Registered User regular
    Sheri wrote:
    Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

    Your wish is granted.

    Executioners_Axe.jpg

  • BEAST!BEAST! Adventurer Adventure!!!!!Registered User regular
    Keith wrote:
    There's a call here for Swarley
    my kitten is named Swarley...we are just about to go to the vet for shots!!!! woo!

    dfzn9elrnajf.png
  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    BEAST! wrote:
    Keith wrote:
    There's a call here for Swarley
    my kitten is named Swarley...we are just about to go to the vet for shots!!!! woo!

    Do you sometimes call it Swarles Barkley?

  • MoosehatIVMoosehatIV Saw a blimp once Registered User regular
    ceres wrote:
    !!!!!
    SecretSatan.jpg

    Thank you! <3


    Hooray! Everything made it in one piece.

    I now dub Ceres the super sleuth of the forums. Go forth and solve all of the mysteries.

  • BEAST!BEAST! Adventurer Adventure!!!!!Registered User regular
    Keith wrote:
    BEAST! wrote:
    Keith wrote:
    There's a call here for Swarley
    my kitten is named Swarley...we are just about to go to the vet for shots!!!! woo!

    Do you sometimes call it Swarles Barkley?
    I usually call him Bob Swarley, mon.

    dfzn9elrnajf.png
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    Sheri wrote:
    Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

    Semen. lots of it.

    easysig2.jpg
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    Stale wrote:
    Sheri wrote:
    Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

    Semen. lots of it.

    Orally or by suppository?

  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    I'll just send him my old flip phone. Not only antique but Korean and thus double-useless.
    Legba wrote:
    You know that thing you do where you pretend you're turning a crank to roll up your middle finger

    I am doing that but with my thumb

    in fact, with both of my thumbs

    How can you crank both thumbs at the same time? What are you cranking with?

    her prehensile lady dong

    god, you know nothing of the female body

    Whew, glad you saved me having to give the anatomy lesson there. Bet Legba feels awkward!

    I would hope so

    you didn't even wanna get into trying to explain womb talons to him

    easysig2.jpg
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    Hunter wrote:
    Stale wrote:
    Sheri wrote:
    Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

    Semen. lots of it.

    Orally or by suppository?

    I recommend a 3cc oral dosage per every 30 mins for 8 hours. A 6cc suppository dosage every 20 mins for 12 hours.

    easysig2.jpg
  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    stale you marvelous bastard

    7656367.jpg
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    handshake.jpg

    easysig2.jpg
  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    ceres wrote:
    !!!!!
    SecretSatan.jpg

    Thank you! <3

    Holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.


    (b'.')b

  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    Okami wrote:
    Work has been such bullshit today. I got in at 5:30 this morning and worked damn near seven hours before I was able to even have a break, just constant running back and forth, taking care of dogs, grooming, etc. and just barely got off just before four. I am worn out and agitated as hell.

    I get home, realize I still have my mail key on me from the other night so I figure "hell, why not, there probably isn't anything but more credit card offers but I might as well look". First thing my eyes lock on when I open? A parcel box key! I gasp, oh what could it be? I unlock the door to find a small box from amazon and I basically make this face

    HoRji.jpg

    My excitement grows, as I gather my other mail and take it all inside.
    RxY8t.jpg

    golly amazon's giftwrap sure is nice, oh what do you contain mystery items?

    VQKMq.jpg
    A new DS game! I don't think I've actually heard of this one, but I definitely liked Kingdom Hearts so seeing how this is devolped by the same team, I don't think I'll be disappointed :3

    uLJsP.jpg
    YES! The note kind of gave it away since my brain immediately read "bling blong" in Kevin's voice. I am super happy to finally have this DVD set.

    Amongst my other mail there seems to be a note reading that there are two more parcels that will be ready to pick up from my nearest post office tomorrow! The wonder and anticipation continues! Thank you Marth! You have completely turned my awful day around :D

    Fabulous, fabulous giftage.

    Gonna go add Mission Hill to my wish list so I don't forget that it exists.

  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    Oh my God that's wonderful

  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Stale wrote:
    Hunter wrote:
    Stale wrote:
    Sheri wrote:
    Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

    Semen. lots of it.

    Orally or by suppository?

    I recommend a 3cc oral dosage per every 30 mins for 8 hours. A 6cc suppository dosage every 20 mins for 12 hours.

    Damn! She's going to be busy...

  • OkamiOkami On the internet nobody knows you're a dog. Nobody. Land of Ports, OreganoRegistered User regular
    Yaaaaaaaay managed to take lunch in time to hit the post office, apparently I misread the notecard and there was only one package at the post office. The postal worker was kind of a dick about it since it seems the only reason they had it was because the place it shipped from mis-weighed it and didn't pay the full postage.
    m1lh9.jpg

    omg Mars! :D and she came with a postcard for every other character too!

    Thank you thank you thank you! I'm so glad to finally have her, it was worth the early lunch :3

  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    Second wave is out.

    My Satanee actually did me a favor, and helped me find some exceptionally rad gifts for my new Brother-In-Law. I will thank them fully when secrecy is no longer required.

  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    So three of my eight gifts arrived here. When all eight arrive I can wrap them up and send them out to my satanee.

    Woo!

    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
  • MarthMarth Registered User regular
    Okami wrote:
    Yaaaaaaaay managed to take lunch in time to hit the post office, apparently I misread the notecard and there was only one package at the post office. The postal worker was kind of a dick about it since it seems the only reason they had it was because the place it shipped from mis-weighed it and didn't pay the full postage.
    m1lh9.jpg

    omg Mars! :D and she came with a postcard for every other character too!

    Thank you thank you thank you! I'm so glad to finally have her, it was worth the early lunch :3

    You're very welcome!

    There should be one more thing there, the package tracking hasn't updated since it said out for delivery so I assume it went to the post office.

    Steam PSN LoL: SadSchaub Battle.net: SadSchaub#1357
  • OkamiOkami On the internet nobody knows you're a dog. Nobody. Land of Ports, OreganoRegistered User regular
    Marth wrote:
    You're very welcome!

    There should be one more thing there, the package tracking hasn't updated since it said out for delivery so I assume it went to the post office.

    Last package arrived safe! It was sitting in my mail box, instead of at the post office.
    oNDRj.jpg

    Yesssss now I want to go get sushi just to have an excuse to use these as soon as possible. All my wooden chopsticks have been getting broken lately so it's nice to finally have a nice pair again.

    zTrts.jpg

    All together now! Thank you Marth! I love all of it <3

  • Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    My Satanee should be receiving their package Monday, or so sayeth Amazon.

  • MarthMarth Registered User regular
    Okami wrote:
    Marth wrote:
    You're very welcome!

    There should be one more thing there, the package tracking hasn't updated since it said out for delivery so I assume it went to the post office.

    Last package arrived safe! It was sitting in my mail box, instead of at the post office.
    oNDRj.jpg

    Yesssss now I want to go get sushi just to have an excuse to use these as soon as possible. All my wooden chopsticks have been getting broken lately so it's nice to finally have a nice pair again.

    zTrts.jpg

    All together now! Thank you Marth! I love all of it <3

    Great succcess

    thumbsupedit.jpg

    Steam PSN LoL: SadSchaub Battle.net: SadSchaub#1357
  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    there's some great gift-giving going on this year, guys

    I am impressed

    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
  • godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    Most definitely. Glad I got in on it this year.

  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    edited November 2011
    There are multiple packages winging their way to my Satan as we speak - all I have to do now is figure out something to get them that is quintessentially West Australian, and will remind them everytime they look at it that they live in the wrong place and should move here because W.A. is the best place in the universe... Any ideas, people?

    Donovan Puppyfucker on
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Sheri wrote:
    Can my Satan please get me a permanent fix for headaches?

    I don't know if there's anywhere down there that will give Javen neckrub lessons.

  • LegbaLegba He did. Registered User regular
    edited November 2011
    There are multiple packages winging their way to my Satan as we speak - all I have to do now is figure out something to get them that is quintessentially West Australian, and will remind them everytime they look at it that they live in the wrong place and should move here because W.A. is the best place in the universe... Any ideas, people?

    Well whatever you do, don't send plut any Tim Tams.

    Legba on
This discussion has been closed.