So, Irond Will okayed this thread, so I will cautiously attempt it.
I recently came into knowledge of mspaintadventures (done by our very own S_O) and found it to be overwhelmingly enjoyable. I thought "Well Winky, you couldn't quite make your own Problem Sleuth, but something like Jailbreak isn't impossible!" So here I am, making our very own D&D adventure! I'll set aside the first few posts to chronicle where we've gotten so far from my postings in the [chat] thread, then I'll start taking suggestions for the next command. I think I'm just going to go ahead and cherry-pick which suggestion I want to take.
You are ABDHYIUS. You are pretty good at RISK. You are a GUY. I don't really remember anything else right now, maybe it will come to me. I mean, you've been around a while.
You have woken up in a STRANGE ROOM. It was not the same STRANGE ROOM that you went to sleep in.
What will you do?
-->inspect PEOPLES' COCK SAMPLER
You inspect the PEOPLES' COCK SAMPLER.
It is a box, inside of which is a SICKLE and a COCK. There is a sheet of glass covering it.
--> Leave strange room.
You exit the STRANGE ROOM.
You enter a STRANGER ROOM.
There is a DOOR. There is a COMPUTER. There is also a PICTURE OF THANATOS.
-->Read door inscription.
You attempt to read the DOOR INSCRIPTION
You recall that you are ILLITERATE.
--> Read SIMPLE ENGLISH WIKIPEDIA on the computer
The COMPUTER is not on.
---> Shake computer in rage until you throw it against the wall.
Incensed by the failure of your public education system, and inspired by the PICTURE OF THANATOS, you lift the COMPUTER over your head and SHAKE VIGOROUSLY.
You then throw the COMPUTER into the next room.
There is a LOUD NOISE, but due to your ILLITERACY you are not able to read what it is.
Can I insert my penis in something that is in the room?
There is a CRESCENT-SHAPED HOLE in the PICTURE OF THANATOS.
However, there is no PENIS in your INVENTORY.
You recall seeing a COCK in the STRANGE ROOM.
Posts
You enter the STRANGE ROOM. The COMPUTER seems to have broken the glass on the PEOPLES' COCK SAMPLER. The COMPUTER is now ON. FREECELL is running.
You reach up and obtain the COCK.
You place the COCK in your MOUTH for safe keeping.
It tastes FAMILIAR.
You obtain the SICKLE. You are about to store it in your ANUS, but you are interrupted!
Suddenly, you are accosted by CAPITALISTS!
The surprise almost makes you CHOKE on your COCK!
As if ALAN GREENSPAN and ADAM SMITH weren't bad enough, a BOURGEOISIE DOGMAN attempts to flank you!
You raise your SICKLE to strike the BOURGEOISIE DOGMAN, but he FLEES.
You attempt to ATTACK using the FLEECE left by the BOURGEOISIE DOGMAN. It is NOT EFFECTIVE.
You remove the COCK from your MOUTH and WAVE IT MENACINGLY.
The CAPITALISTS are INTIMIDATED. They FLEE.
The CAPITALIST have FLED. You VIGOROUSLY SHAKE the COCK and SICKLE just to make sure they won't come back.
You change the CAMERA ANGLE to see where the CAPITALISTS went. It appears that they ESCAPED by climbing on the BACKS OF THE WORKING CLASS. You refuse to follow in their footsteps.
You attempt to ASK the MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN to HELP MOVE the SAFE. However, you are unable to communicate with them due to your ILLITERACY.
Damn the CAPITALISTS for what they did to the PUBLIC EDUCATION SYSTEM.
You place the COCK back in your MOUTH. This UPSETS the MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN and their OLD-FASHIONED WORKING CLASS SENSIBILITIES.
You do not know the CONTENTS of the SAFE.
Though you admit it is very possible the SAFE is full of COCKS.
You set the SAFE from LOCKED to UNLOCKED. You then OPEN the SAFE.
With your MOUTH still full of COCK, you begin to FUCK that OPEN SAFE.
The MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN look on in SURPRISE and CONSTERNATION.
You find LITERACY! With your new education, you realize that FUCKING the OPEN SAFE was a horrible idea, and you CEASE IMMEDIATELY.
PSN: Corbius
It appears that the MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN are still incomprehensible to you. It is possible they are speaking a FOREIGN LANGUAGE.
They are also VERY UPSET by your many displays of SODOMY.
i was just blurting things out incoherently. that is fantastic.
--> GROW BEARD
--> GO BALD
-->
You SEARCH the VANITY and find a FINE MUSTACHE COMB. You place it in your INVENTORY next to your FLEECE.
PSN: Corbius
--> Attempt to PACIFY the MIGRANT WORKERS by OFFERING the MUSTACHE COMB.
--> regret not putting the COCK and BALLS together.
Battlemans: DiscoCabbage | Elite: Dangerous: Aleksandr Khabaj
It occurs to you that PREMIER KAKOS would know just what to do in this situation. If only you could CONTACT HIM, so that he might BECOME A PLAYABLE CHARACTER and HELP YOU OUT.
The cock of the people is already in the people's mouth.
Dude's been fellating it since he threw the computer at the case. I don't think that's how the cock works.
But it's not being properly fellated. Proper summoning of PREMIER KAKOS requires a vigorous back and forth motion along with lots of sucking and a few long and sensual licks.
unless he means people like, fellate those migrant workers
in which case, I don't know if he can really do 4 at a time
You attempt to PACIFY the MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN by OFFERING the FINE MUSTACHE COMB.
However, they take your gesture as an AFFRONT! They interpret your OFFER of FINE MUSTACHE COMB as implying that their MUSTACHES are POORLY KEPT. As you cannot TALK to them, you have no way of PLACATING them.
The MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN raise their HAIRY MIGRANT WORKING CLASS FISTS in RIGHTEOUS ANGER.
there is a cock on the label.
You FELLATE the COCK for many HOURS, attempting every FELLATIO TECHNIQUE you know. NOTHING HAPPENS. It occurs to you that you may need AN INDIVIDUAL OF MUCH HIGHER FELLATIO LEVEL in order to properly PLEASE the COCK.
Meanwhile, the MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN are SHAKING in UNCONSTRAINED RAGE.
> Yell for CASUAL EDDY
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
It occurs to you that there may be a DEVICE that you would commonly USE in order to COMMUNICATE WITH FORUMERS. Like some sort of FORUMER COMMUNICATING DEVICE.
We're giving it all the fellatio we've got captain!