I suspect the type of guy who would sign up for this sort of thing would carry a certain -- stink of desperation or douchyness that would limit it's appeal. My apologies to any dude here who's signed up, but speaking as a guy with a modicum of self-respect, I don't believe the mindset of having women be "clients" and men their "product" (or vice versa) is the foundation of any serious relationship I would want to be involved in.
Well, that or laziness.
I'm mildly tempted to sign up just for sheer amusement purposes.
I suspect the type of guy who would sign up for this sort of thing would carry a certain -- stink of desperation or douchyness that would limit it's appeal. My apologies to any dude here who's signed up, but speaking as a guy with a modicum of self-respect, I don't believe the mindset of having women be "clients" and men their "product" (or vice versa) is the foundation of any serious relationship I would want to be involved in.
I signed up.
There's really nothing wrong with it, imo. The real premise of it, is that girls are forced to choose. They have to allow a guy to message them, before the guy can, making the girl take the first step.
I suspect the type of guy who would sign up for this sort of thing would carry a certain -- stink of desperation or douchyness that would limit it's appeal. My apologies to any dude here who's signed up, but speaking as a guy with a modicum of self-respect, I don't believe the mindset of having women be "clients" and men their "product" (or vice versa) is the foundation of any serious relationship I would want to be involved in.
I signed up.
There's really nothing wrong with it, imo. The real premise of it, is that girls are forced to choose. They have to allow a guy to message them, before the guy can, making the girl take the first step.
Also it gives the girls a chance to avoid having to slog thru an inbox of "hey baby" etc.
I think it's refreshing to have that pressure taken off of being expected to be the one to message.
Let the ones who are interested in you message you.
Actually, it's the strategy I've taken on OKC for a while now.
Armored Gorilla on
"I'm a mad god. The Mad God, actually. It's a family title. Gets passed down from me to myself every few thousand years."
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ThePantsAssociationA million could-be years on a thousand may-be worldsRegistered Userregular
edited July 2010
Well, I suppose there's no harm in putting yourself out there -- I just don't like that site's "attitude."
And really, nobody's forcing you to send out messages on traditional dating sites. Purely anecdotal evidence, but I've gone on many dates on OKC without ever having sent out a message to a lady. It helps to add a few new pictures or changes every-so-often so the system will cycle your profile up to the front page.
ThePantsAssociation on
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FencingsaxIt is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understandingGNU Terry PratchettRegistered Userregular
edited July 2010
I do appreciate everyone's feedback. Also, I am going with an attempt to be attractive, so your comments are welcome, Melks.
Sorry, but my extensive knowledge of turn of the century hip hop music and sub-par teen comedy movies leads me to the conclusion that in order for it not to be cheating, you would have to be all of the following:
Sorry, but my extensive knowledge of turn of the century hip hop music and sub-par teen comedy movies leads me to the conclusion that in order for it not to be cheating, you would have to be all of the following:
There is actually another site where the girl has to message the guy first, but I forget what it's called. I think it's named after whatever they call high school dances where the girl has to ask the guy... shit I don't remember what that is.
But yeah the idea of adding a guy to a shopping cart makes me go O_o. I don't shop for men*.
There is actually another site where the girl has to message the guy first, but I forget what it's called. I think it's named after whatever they call high school dances where the girl has to ask the guy... shit I don't remember what that is.
But yeah the idea of adding a guy to a shopping cart makes me go O_o. I don't shop for men*.
I suspect the type of guy who would sign up for this sort of thing would carry a certain -- stink of desperation or douchyness that would limit it's appeal. My apologies to any dude here who's signed up, but speaking as a guy with a modicum of self-respect, I don't believe the mindset of having women be "clients" and men their "product" (or vice versa) is the foundation of any serious relationship I would want to be involved in.
on the other side of the coin, a guy like me might sign up because it seems effort-free (i like this because I am lazy.) and I like girls who do all the work in a relationship.
(haha i suck)
:^:
Bro-agreement bro.
edit: Not about you sucking, about worthlessing yourself through the relationship until it counts.
HerWay's innovative approach to dating, similar to the Sadie Hawkins dance, ensures women control the action by restricting men from searching, while allowing women to browse for men anonymously.
Guys - no more wasted time chasing. It's 5 times more likely you'll actually meet her when she makes the first move. Women know what they want and Profile Performance shows you what that is.
Ladies - there are plenty of options to choose from. Men are excited to join HerWay and are waiting for you to connect with them! In fact, over half of the members who join HerWay are men.
See, both adoptaguy and this seem weird to me, as if it's simply "Hey guys, come here. Sit back, relax, and the chicks will just start pouring in". I do like the aspect of places where women make the first move, as at least from my experience on OKC the number of messages I send first is far higher compared to the messages women send first to me, but it feels odd just taking all the power away from guys in that process.
Looks like Adopt a Guy doesn't work for Canadians! Nyuck nyuck nyuck!
Godfather on
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kaliyamaLeft to find less-moderated foraRegistered Userregular
edited July 2010
Updates:
* I was going to go for a date. I saw her come in from the corner of the bar, and she was ~45 lbs heavier than her pictures, but recognizably her. I ducked out the rear entrance and got hate mail for never showing up.
* This lead me to cancel a date the day before it was due
* BUT I have a date with certifiable cutie on Saturday;
AND
after a particularly successful motion for a pro bono immigration case a fellow atty gave me her phone number. So there's that..
eh..i can understand completely though...it's one thing to be setup on a blind date and not be attracted...it's another for the person to have lied to you about what they looked like by showing you old pictures....it's doomed 100% from the start because they tried to start the relationship with a lie....
i have met one girl off of okcupid and it's a good thing she recognized me because even after we parted ways i still don't know where the person was that i saw in the okcupid profile.....
BEAST! on
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kaliyamaLeft to find less-moderated foraRegistered Userregular
Yeah, I got hit with the "girl is 50 lbs bigger than the picture" dilemma before, except I actually followed through with the date.
I had this happen as well. Her profile listed her as "thin" and her pics were misleading/old. The woman I met was definitely not "thin", and while she wasn't morbidly obese, she was significantly heavier than I like my partners to be. I stuck with the date (we saw Avatar, this was back in January as I recall) and then went out for coffee and chatted. Didn't end up really having all that much in common to talk about either, so we parted ways at the end of the night and that was it.
I'll be honest; I was put off by her size, but it was heavily (pardon the pun) combined with the fact that she'd lie about it, and in such an obvious way (this was not something that occurred overnight).
I mean, I'm not a small guy, and I admit it's probably the one thing that's even close to stretching the truth on my profile (I list myself as "Average"), as far too often "a few extra pounds" and "overweight" are code for "obese", and as the months go by and the pounds come off (35 pounds lost in the last 7 months), it becomes less of a stretch and more of the reality anyway (ITT: Forar justifies his deception! *crash of thunder*).
Edit: note; I'm joking about the deception part. My pics are in no way designed to be deceiving, and given that most of them were taken a year or more ago, I'm actually thinner than they would indicate.
Hell, it actually makes me wonder what to do about playing the meta once I get down to my target weight. Unless I tone heavily or bulk up I doubt "athletic" will really fit, but if I can justify it I'd kind of like to move away from "Average". Maybe "Fit"? After losing the weight (and putting on the muscle) necessary to get there, I think I'll deserve it, but I've been a bigger guy for a long time, so I have a hard time thinking/seeing myself in that light.
Not an issue for now though. Gonna have to keep up that gym routine and try to ignore goodies that seem to appear in the kitchen at work (easier said than done, some asshole keeps bringing in donuts, cookies and pastries).
Forar on
First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
surely the increase in dates would be canceled out by the people who aren't interested in really fat people/people who feel deceived.
It doesn't work, I can't see how it does. If you still nab someone even after you lie, they would have accepted you if you were upfront.
How it works with me is you are overweight and
(a) lie about it, guaranteeing no second date.
(b) do not hide it, and we meet and see if we click like normal people.
I have no big problems with weight but I have big problems with liars.
to play devil's advocate, I've messed around with girls that I probably wouldn't have had I had time to examine pictures of them while I was at home surfing the net.
Girl who I was planning on getting coffee with and then entered an exclusive relationship prior to our meetup has texted me looking to meet up weeks later. I decided to roll with it despite her previous flakiness. We'll see how this goes I suppose.
What was I going to do, sputter at her as she finished off her second fried mars bar? Craven, I know. But I panicked.
you're a goose. judgemental much?
no, really. you're a dick for doing that. god fucking forbid you have a conversation with someone, wrap it up and have the actual spine and decency to say you don't want to pursue anything.
ugh.
Yeah, I got hit with the "girl is 50 lbs bigger than the picture" dilemma before, except I actually followed through with the date.
This is why it was not a good idea to online date in Texas.
yeah. while it's stupid/rude/obviously dishonest to misrepresent oneself on the internet, it's a whole other realm of awful to just stand them up. i mean, who the hell knows, the person could make a good friend!
and really, we all (understandably) choose flattering photos of ourselves for these sites and nobody ever REALLY looks like they do in a photo as opposed to real life. i just make sure to date my photos!
Girl who I was planning on getting coffee with and then entered an exclusive relationship prior to our meetup has texted me looking to meet up weeks later. I decided to roll with it despite her previous flakiness. We'll see how this goes I suppose.
You know, I was kinda expecting this to happen with the girl from like a month ago (or more, i don't even remember at this late hour). I saw her on POF the other day as browsing. I was this close to sending her a message
Yeah, I got hit with the "girl is 50 lbs bigger than the picture" dilemma before, except I actually followed through with the date.
This is why it was not a good idea to online date in Texas.
yeah. while it's stupid/rude/obviously dishonest to misrepresent oneself on the internet, it's a whole other realm of awful to just stand them up. i mean, who the hell knows, the person could make a good friend!
and really, we all (understandably) choose flattering photos of ourselves for these sites and nobody ever REALLY looks like they do in a photo as opposed to real life. i just make sure to date my photos!
Um. Maybe you choose flattering photos.
I chose the only 5 photos I have of myself. So I'm pretty sure I look exactly as I do in person as I do in my photos.
Which again, going back to the height and salary thing, am I the only person that doesn't lie about something to pump myself up?
Yeah I can see the possibility that lots of people who wouldn't go out on a date with a fat person could still end up sleeping with them after the date is initiated.
Yeah I can see the possibility that lots of people who wouldn't go out on a date with a fat person could still end up sleeping with them after the date is initiated.
Recent personal experience validates this possibility as having a *strong* basis in reality.
The photo thing, go to your photos, click on the album, on the side of the page should be a "manage my photos" bar where you can just click and drag for the arrangement.
And yeah, the match search thing could use a bit of work, both feature wise and bug wise. I know at least when using quick match which I have set to "single" for obvious reasons, it helpfully gives me plenty of available and seeing someone matches.
The cliche I can't stand is the "most private thing is that I'm on this site. I'm so embarrassed."
These same people probably love facebook.
Random: I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't just delete most of my profile past the summary and message me if parts. Because it seems like people hardly ever read anything else before messaging. "So where are you going to school? (listed) What's your job? (listed) What shows do you like? (listed)" etc.
The cliche I can't stand is the "most private thing is that I'm on this site. I'm so embarrassed."
The one I hate is "If I share it, it won't be private". You're not being funny, and God help me if you're serious. That, and when people fill out all of their profile except for that.
Posts
Well, that or laziness.
I'm mildly tempted to sign up just for sheer amusement purposes.
I signed up.
There's really nothing wrong with it, imo. The real premise of it, is that girls are forced to choose. They have to allow a guy to message them, before the guy can, making the girl take the first step.
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
Also it gives the girls a chance to avoid having to slog thru an inbox of "hey baby" etc.
Let the ones who are interested in you message you.
Actually, it's the strategy I've taken on OKC for a while now.
And really, nobody's forcing you to send out messages on traditional dating sites. Purely anecdotal evidence, but I've gone on many dates on OKC without ever having sent out a message to a lady. It helps to add a few new pictures or changes every-so-often so the system will cycle your profile up to the front page.
Sorry, but my extensive knowledge of turn of the century hip hop music and sub-par teen comedy movies leads me to the conclusion that in order for it not to be cheating, you would have to be all of the following:
.
..
...
....
:winky:
How you doin?
:winky:
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
But yeah the idea of adding a guy to a shopping cart makes me go O_o. I don't shop for men*.
unless you count window shopping hey o
Sadie Hawkins
:^:
Bro-agreement bro.
edit: Not about you sucking, about worthlessing yourself through the relationship until it counts.
See, both adoptaguy and this seem weird to me, as if it's simply "Hey guys, come here. Sit back, relax, and the chicks will just start pouring in". I do like the aspect of places where women make the first move, as at least from my experience on OKC the number of messages I send first is far higher compared to the messages women send first to me, but it feels odd just taking all the power away from guys in that process.
* I was going to go for a date. I saw her come in from the corner of the bar, and she was ~45 lbs heavier than her pictures, but recognizably her. I ducked out the rear entrance and got hate mail for never showing up.
* This lead me to cancel a date the day before it was due
* BUT I have a date with certifiable cutie on Saturday;
AND
after a particularly successful motion for a pro bono immigration case a fellow atty gave me her phone number. So there's that..
What was I going to do, sputter at her as she finished off her second fried mars bar? Craven, I know. But I panicked.
it's not just craven, it's totally impolite.
I get it. I do.
But.
The right thing to do would have been to go through with the date and then decline a second one.
i have met one girl off of okcupid and it's a good thing she recognized me because even after we parted ways i still don't know where the person was that i saw in the okcupid profile.....
Entirely agree.
Two wrongs yadda yadda.
I don't mind if a girl has some extra pounds so long as she doesn't try to lie about it.
This is why it was not a good idea to online date in Texas.
surely the increase in dates would be canceled out by the people who aren't interested in really fat people/people who feel deceived.
https://medium.com/@alascii
I had this happen as well. Her profile listed her as "thin" and her pics were misleading/old. The woman I met was definitely not "thin", and while she wasn't morbidly obese, she was significantly heavier than I like my partners to be. I stuck with the date (we saw Avatar, this was back in January as I recall) and then went out for coffee and chatted. Didn't end up really having all that much in common to talk about either, so we parted ways at the end of the night and that was it.
I'll be honest; I was put off by her size, but it was heavily (pardon the pun) combined with the fact that she'd lie about it, and in such an obvious way (this was not something that occurred overnight).
I mean, I'm not a small guy, and I admit it's probably the one thing that's even close to stretching the truth on my profile (I list myself as "Average"), as far too often "a few extra pounds" and "overweight" are code for "obese", and as the months go by and the pounds come off (35 pounds lost in the last 7 months), it becomes less of a stretch and more of the reality anyway (ITT: Forar justifies his deception! *crash of thunder*).
Edit: note; I'm joking about the deception part. My pics are in no way designed to be deceiving, and given that most of them were taken a year or more ago, I'm actually thinner than they would indicate.
Hell, it actually makes me wonder what to do about playing the meta once I get down to my target weight. Unless I tone heavily or bulk up I doubt "athletic" will really fit, but if I can justify it I'd kind of like to move away from "Average". Maybe "Fit"? After losing the weight (and putting on the muscle) necessary to get there, I think I'll deserve it, but I've been a bigger guy for a long time, so I have a hard time thinking/seeing myself in that light.
Not an issue for now though. Gonna have to keep up that gym routine and try to ignore goodies that seem to appear in the kitchen at work (easier said than done, some asshole keeps bringing in donuts, cookies and pastries).
It doesn't work, I can't see how it does. If you still nab someone even after you lie, they would have accepted you if you were upfront.
How it works with me is you are overweight and
(a) lie about it, guaranteeing no second date.
(b) do not hide it, and we meet and see if we click like normal people.
I have no big problems with weight but I have big problems with liars.
to play devil's advocate, I've messed around with girls that I probably wouldn't have had I had time to examine pictures of them while I was at home surfing the net.
My Little Game Blog - http://profundospielen.blogspot.com/
you're a goose. judgemental much?
no, really. you're a dick for doing that. god fucking forbid you have a conversation with someone, wrap it up and have the actual spine and decency to say you don't want to pursue anything.
ugh.
yeah. while it's stupid/rude/obviously dishonest to misrepresent oneself on the internet, it's a whole other realm of awful to just stand them up. i mean, who the hell knows, the person could make a good friend!
and really, we all (understandably) choose flattering photos of ourselves for these sites and nobody ever REALLY looks like they do in a photo as opposed to real life. i just make sure to date my photos!
You know, I was kinda expecting this to happen with the girl from like a month ago (or more, i don't even remember at this late hour). I saw her on POF the other day as browsing. I was this close to sending her a message
"You chose...poorly." But I refrained.
Um. Maybe you choose flattering photos.
I chose the only 5 photos I have of myself. So I'm pretty sure I look exactly as I do in person as I do in my photos.
Which again, going back to the height and salary thing, am I the only person that doesn't lie about something to pump myself up?
https://medium.com/@alascii
Recent personal experience validates this possibility as having a *strong* basis in reality.
From a strong regimen of pain killers i've been taking for this super hardcore sunburn. So sorry!
So...you gonna let me have some of that?
AND TARDCORE! YOU COCKY PRETTY BOY! YOU GET IN LINE!
Women, if you have a kid, you don't need to put that they're your world in the your profile. It's understood. Also, it's really cliche.
Also, OKC should let me search within 15 mi and should let people who don't put a religion show up in my religion based searches.
Also also, added a new photo to my page, how do I make it my main? I think I need to update the profile itself too, it's been a while.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/notquitezen
The photo thing, go to your photos, click on the album, on the side of the page should be a "manage my photos" bar where you can just click and drag for the arrangement.
And yeah, the match search thing could use a bit of work, both feature wise and bug wise. I know at least when using quick match which I have set to "single" for obvious reasons, it helpfully gives me plenty of available and seeing someone matches.
The cliche I can't stand is the "most private thing is that I'm on this site. I'm so embarrassed."
These same people probably love facebook.
Random: I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't just delete most of my profile past the summary and message me if parts. Because it seems like people hardly ever read anything else before messaging. "So where are you going to school? (listed) What's your job? (listed) What shows do you like? (listed)" etc.
The one I hate is "If I share it, it won't be private". You're not being funny, and God help me if you're serious. That, and when people fill out all of their profile except for that.
NEW CUSTOMERS TO SATISFY:
* betteroffdead
* selloutvixen
* buttercup
guess which one of the 3 isn't looking so goddamn saaaaaad