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Pathetic Geek Stories - the Return of the Geekening

RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazedby the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
edited July 2011 in Singularity Engine++
These are some of my favorite threads ever.

Tell us your secret shame. That awkward moment you thought, nay, hoped you had forgotten forever.

Like how you dropped out of college sophomore year to devote yourself to your Battlefield 2 clan

or how your first girlfriend broke up with you because she found your erotic fanfic about Carmen Sandiego

Rankenphile on
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Posts

  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    basically dropped out of freshman year of college because of diablo 2

    also because I was a roleplaying mod on a Shadowrun MUSH

    but really in the absence of either of those it would have been something video game or online related

  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I attempted to write super mario fanfiction when I was 14 or so that was intended be novelizations of all the games and would tie them together as a big cohesive story

    I think I wrote four chapters based on the original Donkey Kong and one based on the original Mario Bros. arcade game before quitting

    Mario burned his hands while fighting donkey kong and started wearing white gloves because the sight of his burn-scar covered hands triggers traumatic memories of having the shit beaten out of him by a gorilla

    Luigi wore white gloves because he was germophobic

    And I remember I had plans to make Captain Syrup from Warioland and Pauline from Donkey Kong the same character

    Speed Racer on
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    I already got trumped, fuck

  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    I admitted this in the last of these types of threads, but I feel like it bears repeating:

    I once wrote fan fiction

    about Happy Days

  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    I admitted this in the last of these types of threads, but I feel like it bears repeating:

    I once wrote fan fiction

    about Happy Days

    oh man

  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    I think if I dug around I could probably find my mario fanfic

    I'm not sure I want to though

  • ASimPersonASimPerson Cold... ... and hard.Registered User regular
    I don't know if I have any spectacularly embarrassing moments of geekery.

    It's more of a constant baseline.

    redoctober2.png
    SE++ Forum Battle Archive | PDT is not PST | DRUNKSTUCK: A Homestuck recap
  • BugBoyBugBoy boy.EXE has stopped functioning. only bugs remainRegistered User regular
    damn

    tbat js hardcore

    You see lots of things, out there in the swamp at night. Some of them might even be real. But the Bugboy? That's just plain impossible.
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    suggest thread topic


    win thread


    well done Rank, at least now you have mod powers so you can actually close it yourself

  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    A bunch of the people in high school were standing around talking about someone's new car and mentioned it had an "awesome fin".

    Me: You mean a "spoiler"?

    They just stared at me.

    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 PS4: T_0_N_N_K_A Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! Twitch?! HEY SATAN
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    i have an old internet sprite comic that is still up there why won't you take it down angel fire!?

    outside of that, clean.

  • BugBoyBugBoy boy.EXE has stopped functioning. only bugs remainRegistered User regular
    I could fix that

    but now I'm going to pretend that some guy named tbat is hardcore

    You see lots of things, out there in the swamp at night. Some of them might even be real. But the Bugboy? That's just plain impossible.
  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    Tonkka I almost sprayed my food all over the keyboard laughing at that fucking incredible pun


    the best part is that it doesn't work at all unless you're reading the text, how did you even think to say that aloud

  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    one time i posted on an internet forum for almost a decade

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    one time i posted on an internet forum for almost a decade

    How terrible, how did you get past it?

  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    what else have I done?

    uh

    I once spent three weeks scouting locations for a scavenger hunt for my clan in Asheron's Call, talking up the event, making a website with photos and cryptic clues to the locations and making a really big deal about it, only to realize after having started said event that the objects they were supposed to gather in the event disappeared ten minutes after I dropped them there

  • BaidolBaidol I will hold him off Escape while you canRegistered User regular
    In middle school, I would have Starcraft LAN parties at my house.

    Our little group decided to come up with ranks to denote who were better players, with wraith higher than vulture higher than firebat and so on. At the top of the public ranking list was battlecruiser.

    However, there was one secret rank above battlecruiser. This rank could only be obtained by beating the last mission of the terran campaign without cheating, because for some reason none of us could do it. This rank was a unit that, when faced against a battlecruiser, would emerge with a draw.

    This rank was spidermine.

    Steam Overwatch: Baidol#1957
  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    Oh fuck me I found it that did not take long

    it's just sitting there in the dark recesses of pojo.com's fanfiction forum

    and it looks like I posted nine chapters total

    The table of contents, these fucking chapter names

    BOOK I: DONKEY KONG
    Chapter 1: A Man Twice-Named Mario
    Chapter 2: Pauline
    Chapter 3: A King in Imprisonment
    Chapter 4: The Stranger's Shortcut
    Chapter 5: Climb
    Chapter6: Showdown Amidst the Steel and Flame

    BOOK II: MARIO BROS.
    Chapter 1: Mario Brothers
    Chapter 2: Down the Man-Hole
    Chapter 3: The Sewer

  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    Pokémon fanfiction with a Gary-Stu character who joined the cast and saved the day repeatedly.

    Also posted on Pokémon fanfiction boards and wrote parody game-show scripts involving various members and fictional characters competing.

    At least there was absolutely no erotic work on that site.

  • BaidolBaidol I will hold him off Escape while you canRegistered User regular
    Speed Racer you must link your shame.

    Steam Overwatch: Baidol#1957
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Baidol wrote:
    In middle school, I would have Starcraft LAN parties at my house.

    Our little group decided to come up with ranks to denote who were better players, with wraith higher than vulture higher than firebat and so on. At the top of the public ranking list was battlecruiser.

    However, there was one secret rank above battlecruiser. This rank could only be obtained by beating the last mission of the terran campaign without cheating, because for some reason none of us could do it. This rank was a unit that, when faced against a battlecruiser, would emerge with a draw.

    This rank was spidermine.

    I've done this a number of times, you all suck.

  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    Christ, Speed. How many times have you played Mario?

    ETqXK.png
  • BaidolBaidol I will hold him off Escape while you canRegistered User regular
    Melding wrote:
    Baidol wrote:
    In middle school, I would have Starcraft LAN parties at my house.

    Our little group decided to come up with ranks to denote who were better players, with wraith higher than vulture higher than firebat and so on. At the top of the public ranking list was battlecruiser.

    However, there was one secret rank above battlecruiser. This rank could only be obtained by beating the last mission of the terran campaign without cheating, because for some reason none of us could do it. This rank was a unit that, when faced against a battlecruiser, would emerge with a draw.

    This rank was spidermine.

    I've done this a number of times, you all suck.

    The one guy who managed to earn the glorious title of spidermine ended up being the worst player of us all. We couldn't figure it out, until we discovered he was playing the version of the game at launch while we were all playing updated versions. Apparently, the mission got harder with the updates. Had to give the rank to him, though.

    Steam Overwatch: Baidol#1957
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    Once I met this guy called The Geek

    jeez he was pathetic

  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    ohhh shit I totally forgot this because it's so lame

    some of my pathetic clique in middle school started a club called The NERDS Society (NERDS was short for Nobody Except the Really Diabolically Smart)

    I am sad to say I was named the "Sergeant at Arms" of the NERDS Society



    I didn't have sex for a long time

  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    When I was 16 I played trumpet in a 5 piece jazz band called Orjazzum

  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    Baidol wrote:
    Speed Racer you must link your shame.

    Fine! Fine.

    http://www.pojo.biz/board/showthread.php?t=298543

    I did not actually read the content of this thread past the table of contents

  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    I used to run games of AD&D over IRC pretty much every night for like four months

  • Captain KCaptain K Registered User regular
    #pipe wrote:
    When I was 16 I played trumpet in a 5 piece jazz band called Orjazzum

    haha, my friend tried to name one of his college jazz combos "Aural Sextet"

    that was like the only one of his ridiculous combo names that got 86ed

  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    i used to try and start conversations about magic: the gathering with girls as an icebreaker

  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    oh man you mentioned IRC and now I remember doing Invader Zim roleplaying in IRC dammit

  • ProjeckProjeck Registered User regular
    internet forum

  • HunteraHuntera Rude Boy Registered User regular
    I once broke up with a girl because A: She was crazy and B: I didn't wanna end up going outside for decently long periods of time.

  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    I once taped a toy ring I got out of a vending machine for a dime under the desk of a girl I had a crush on, and when she asked me if I did it, denied it to her face and said it was retarded

    another boy said he did it and they started going out and would kiss in front of me and it made me so mad

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    i used to try and start conversations about magic: the gathering with girls as an icebreaker

    I don't believe this one. You were never that into magic.

  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    my dad found my dragonball z handwritten fan fiction once and yelled at me for using words like 'damn'

  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    Got booted out of a school DnD club for being a jerk.

    Glad I at least apologized after.

  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    I would write tiny cryptic messages on incredibly small pieces of paper and slip them into her jacket pocket when she left her desk

    example: apple = star wars

    you see, apples have cores. That means they are core-y. Like Cory. Her current boyfriend.

    And star wars, well, it was all about The Force. Which sounds like divorce.

    Therefore, Cory equals Divorce. Simple.

    She'd obviously see the logic and dump him and then she would go out with me and we would have a million sexes.

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    woah dang rank you a big man now

    lemme post juancock bro

    PiptheFair on
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