Pathetic Geek Stories - the Return of the Geekening

Rankenphile

These are some of my favorite threads ever.

Tell us your secret shame. That awkward moment you thought, nay, hoped you had forgotten forever.

Like how you dropped out of college sophomore year to devote yourself to your Battlefield 2 clan

or how your first girlfriend broke up with you because she found your erotic fanfic about Carmen Sandiego

Captain K

basically dropped out of freshman year of college because of diablo 2

also because I was a roleplaying mod on a Shadowrun MUSH

but really in the absence of either of those it would have been something video game or online related

Speed Racer

I attempted to write super mario fanfiction when I was 14 or so that was intended be novelizations of all the games and would tie them together as a big cohesive story

I think I wrote four chapters based on the original Donkey Kong and one based on the original Mario Bros. arcade game before quitting

Mario burned his hands while fighting donkey kong and started wearing white gloves because the sight of his burn-scar covered hands triggers traumatic memories of having the shit beaten out of him by a gorilla

Luigi wore white gloves because he was germophobic

And I remember I had plans to make Captain Syrup from Warioland and Pauline from Donkey Kong the same character

Captain K

I already got trumped, fuck

Rankenphile

I admitted this in the last of these types of threads, but I feel like it bears repeating:

I once wrote fan fiction

about Happy Days

Speed Racer

Rankenphile wrote:

I admitted this in the last of these types of threads, but I feel like it bears repeating:

I once wrote fan fiction

about Happy Days

oh man

Speed Racer

I think if I dug around I could probably find my mario fanfic

I'm not sure I want to though

ASimPerson

I don't know if I have any spectacularly embarrassing moments of geekery.

It's more of a constant baseline.

BugBoy

damn

tbat js hardcore

Captain K

suggest thread topic


win thread


well done Rank, at least now you have mod powers so you can actually close it yourself

Tonkka

A bunch of the people in high school were standing around talking about someone's new car and mentioned it had an "awesome fin".

Me: You mean a "spoiler"?

They just stared at me.

Melding

i have an old internet sprite comic that is still up there why won't you take it down angel fire!?

outside of that, clean.

BugBoy

I could fix that

but now I'm going to pretend that some guy named tbat is hardcore

Captain K

Tonkka I almost sprayed my food all over the keyboard laughing at that fucking incredible pun


the best part is that it doesn't work at all unless you're reading the text, how did you even think to say that aloud

George Fornby Grill

In before Mario Party Fanfic

Orikaeshigitae

one time i posted on an internet forum for almost a decade

Melding

Orikaeshigitae wrote:

one time i posted on an internet forum for almost a decade

How terrible, how did you get past it?

Rankenphile

what else have I done?

uh

I once spent three weeks scouting locations for a scavenger hunt for my clan in Asheron's Call, talking up the event, making a website with photos and cryptic clues to the locations and making a really big deal about it, only to realize after having started said event that the objects they were supposed to gather in the event disappeared ten minutes after I dropped them there

Baidol

In middle school, I would have Starcraft LAN parties at my house.

Our little group decided to come up with ranks to denote who were better players, with wraith higher than vulture higher than firebat and so on. At the top of the public ranking list was battlecruiser.

However, there was one secret rank above battlecruiser. This rank could only be obtained by beating the last mission of the terran campaign without cheating, because for some reason none of us could do it. This rank was a unit that, when faced against a battlecruiser, would emerge with a draw.

This rank was spidermine.

Speed Racer

Oh fuck me I found it that did not take long

it's just sitting there in the dark recesses of pojo.com's fanfiction forum

and it looks like I posted nine chapters total

The table of contents, these fucking chapter names

BOOK I: DONKEY KONG
Chapter 1: A Man Twice-Named Mario
Chapter 2: Pauline
Chapter 3: A King in Imprisonment
Chapter 4: The Stranger's Shortcut
Chapter 5: Climb
Chapter6: Showdown Amidst the Steel and Flame

BOOK II: MARIO BROS.
Chapter 1: Mario Brothers
Chapter 2: Down the Man-Hole
Chapter 3: The Sewer

TankHammer

Pokémon fanfiction with a Gary-Stu character who joined the cast and saved the day repeatedly.

Also posted on Pokémon fanfiction boards and wrote parody game-show scripts involving various members and fictional characters competing.

At least there was absolutely no erotic work on that site.

Baidol

Speed Racer you must link your shame.

Melding

Baidol wrote:

In middle school, I would have Starcraft LAN parties at my house.

Our little group decided to come up with ranks to denote who were better players, with wraith higher than vulture higher than firebat and so on. At the top of the public ranking list was battlecruiser.

However, there was one secret rank above battlecruiser. This rank could only be obtained by beating the last mission of the terran campaign without cheating, because for some reason none of us could do it. This rank was a unit that, when faced against a battlecruiser, would emerge with a draw.

This rank was spidermine.

I've done this a number of times, you all suck.

Futore

Christ, Speed. How many times have you played Mario?

Baidol

Melding wrote:

Baidol wrote:

In middle school, I would have Starcraft LAN parties at my house.

Our little group decided to come up with ranks to denote who were better players, with wraith higher than vulture higher than firebat and so on. At the top of the public ranking list was battlecruiser.

However, there was one secret rank above battlecruiser. This rank could only be obtained by beating the last mission of the terran campaign without cheating, because for some reason none of us could do it. This rank was a unit that, when faced against a battlecruiser, would emerge with a draw.

This rank was spidermine.

I've done this a number of times, you all suck.

The one guy who managed to earn the glorious title of spidermine ended up being the worst player of us all. We couldn't figure it out, until we discovered he was playing the version of the game at launch while we were all playing updated versions. Apparently, the mission got harder with the updates. Had to give the rank to him, though.

#pipe

Once I met this guy called The Geek

jeez he was pathetic

Captain K

ohhh shit I totally forgot this because it's so lame

some of my pathetic clique in middle school started a club called The NERDS Society (NERDS was short for Nobody Except the Really Diabolically Smart)

I am sad to say I was named the "Sergeant at Arms" of the NERDS Society



I didn't have sex for a long time

#pipe

When I was 16 I played trumpet in a 5 piece jazz band called Orjazzum

Speed Racer

Baidol wrote:

Speed Racer you must link your shame.

Fine! Fine.

http://www.pojo.biz/board/showthread.php?t=298543

I did not actually read the content of this thread past the table of contents

Rankenphile

I used to run games of AD&D over IRC pretty much every night for like four months

Captain K

#pipe wrote:

When I was 16 I played trumpet in a 5 piece jazz band called Orjazzum

haha, my friend tried to name one of his college jazz combos "Aural Sextet"

that was like the only one of his ridiculous combo names that got 86ed

Orikaeshigitae

i used to try and start conversations about magic: the gathering with girls as an icebreaker

Speed Racer

oh man you mentioned IRC and now I remember doing Invader Zim roleplaying in IRC dammit

Projeck

internet forum

Huntera

I once broke up with a girl because A: She was crazy and B: I didn't wanna end up going outside for decently long periods of time.

Rankenphile

I once taped a toy ring I got out of a vending machine for a dime under the desk of a girl I had a crush on, and when she asked me if I did it, denied it to her face and said it was retarded

another boy said he did it and they started going out and would kiss in front of me and it made me so mad

Melding

Orikaeshigitae wrote:

i used to try and start conversations about magic: the gathering with girls as an icebreaker

I don't believe this one. You were never that into magic.

Kusuguttai

my dad found my dragonball z handwritten fan fiction once and yelled at me for using words like 'damn'

chiasaur11

Got booted out of a school DnD club for being a jerk.

Glad I at least apologized after.

Rankenphile

I would write tiny cryptic messages on incredibly small pieces of paper and slip them into her jacket pocket when she left her desk

example: apple = star wars

you see, apples have cores. That means they are core-y. Like Cory. Her current boyfriend.

And star wars, well, it was all about The Force. Which sounds like divorce.

Therefore, Cory equals Divorce. Simple.

She'd obviously see the logic and dump him and then she would go out with me and we would have a million sexes.

PiptheFair

woah dang rank you a big man now

lemme post juancock bro