The Olympics! The greatest sporting event on the planet*. And it's just a few short days away!
This time the venue is London, which was the cause of much celebration when it was announced because it meant we'd gotten one over the French by beating paris, but very quickly afterwards those smiles turned upside down as the bill for the games soared, the economy crumbled and suddenly chucking a few billion down the pan for the privilege of watching Uzbekistan play Estonia at tiddlywinks seemed less than wise. Still, there's always the cuddly Olympic mascots to cheer everyone up!
Jesus Christ what the hell are they kill them with fire!
Ah, much better. That's Victoria Pendleton, by the way, UK gold medalist and someone whose triumphs on the cycling track I will be watching closely, perhaps smiling dreamily while I do so. And for the other team, here's American Ryan Lochte, who swims, apparently.
So, I thought we could talk about the Olympics a bit, about the terrible sponsorship rules that led to nearby restaurants having to change a name they've had for twenty years after vaguely threatening letters from IOC lawyers, the private secutiry fiasco of G4S or maybe the awesome running, jumping and throwing things that will be going on. Or maybe just about the best moments from past Olympics, like Daley Thompson crushing everyone in his path in the decathlon, or Dame Kelly Holmes winning gold in both the 800m and 1500m, or Coe vs Ovett in 1980 or maybe something else an athlete from a country other than the UK once did, if you like that sort of thing. Like the amazing story of Emile Zatopek
, for instance.
*With the exception of The Ashes, which is the best thing humanity has invented thus far.