Aw, son of a [Cards Against Humanity] (On break for a while, but reserves welcome)

discrider

I must confess that I thought that the perfectly reasonable fear was the least likely to win that round.
I may also be bad at CaH and will refrain from thinking and posting further confessions.

Man in the Mists

Aw, come on @Boozer‌, not even a little fist bump?

Man in the Mists

All right! Got the answers before I have to sleep!

Wearing an octopus for a hat. High five, bro. (Boozer)
Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath. High five, bro. (Discrider) (*)
Men. High five, bro. (Initiatefailure)
The folly of man. High five, bro. (Axman13)
Teaching a robot how to love. High five, bro. (Extreaminatus)
Rising from the grave. High five, bro. (Iongantas)

@Dr. Flamingo, what deserves flesh striking flesh and a loud "WHOO!"?

Dr. Flamingo

Take a break from Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath, bro, for I request the highest of fives!

discrider

I'd go for a victory lap, but I'm all out of hydrolytes.

Man in the Mists

Just as well, Discrider. Running while crying isn't much safer than running with scissors.

Round 4: Discrider is judging

In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that _______ had really been _______ all along.

Please PM your answers while Discrider Wonders why Sylvia Plath bears such a striking resemblance to Saxton Hale.

Man in the Mists

I see warped people.

In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that Judge Judy had really been the shambling corpse of Larry King all along. (Axman13)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that genital piercings had really been overpowering your father all along. (Iongantas)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that The Land of Chocolate had really been pooping back and forth, forever all along. (Dr. Flamingo)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that winning the approval of Cooking Mama that you never got from actual mama had really been depression all along. (Extreaminatus) (*)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that chunks of dead prostitute had really been vehicular manslaughter all along. (Initiatefailure)
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that a monkey smoking a cigar had really been my genitals all along. (Boozer)

@Discrider, what's going to leave the audience saying "What."?

initiatefailure

Really that could just all be one movie

discrider

I think the best synopsis has to be: In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that winning the approval of Cooking Mama that you never got from actual mama had really been depression all along.

Because when you're down in the dumps, you just want to hit the sauce.

Man in the Mists

You should've seen how deep in the pit Extreaminatus sank when he saw someone else get even more of Cooking Mama's love. Guess bronze medal approval just wasn't enough.

Round 5: Extreaminatus is judging

I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow ______ at the country club.

Please PM your answers while Extreaminatus insists that Cooking Mama is totally real enough to be a member.

Man in the Mists

I'm surprised not all of the country clubs dies out with their patrons.

I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow jizzing into Santa's beard at the country club. (Dr. Flamingo)
I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow a spontaneous conga line at the country club. (Discrider) (*)
I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow me at the country club. (Initiatefailure)
I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow getting really high at the country club. (Axman13)
I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes at the country club. (Boozer)
I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow active listening at the country club. (Iongantas)

@Extreaminatus, what are the lawyers in the bushes waiting to hear?

Extreaminatus

Sorry sire, but a spontaneous conga line is not allowed here.

Gentlemen of our stature are allowed only one dance: freestyle disco.

Man in the Mists

Nice try Discrider, but you'll have to employ something more subtle in order to ensure that disco is once again dead.

Round 6: Discrider is judging

What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?

Please PM your answers while Discrider's grandma counts the broken hips from geriatric disco dancers.

Man in the Mists

I can't understand grandma. She's covering her eyes, but the got pissed when we tried to stop.

What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? Self-flagellation (Axman13)
What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? A Ugandan warlord (Initiatefailure)
What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? Stephen Hawking talking dirty (Boozer)
What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? Historically black colleges (Extreaminatus) (*)
What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? A homoerotic volleyball montage (Iongantas)
What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? An erection that lasts longer than four hours (Dr. Flamingo)

@Discrider, how is grandma getting her freaky fun?

discrider

All of these are brilliant.

But I'm going to have to go with Historically black colleges.

"I'm sure it's a nice idea, dearie."

Man in the Mists

Good luck convincing her that Compton U doesn't exist, Extreaminatus.

Round 7: Extreaminatus is judging

_______. Betcha can't have just one!

Please PM your answers while I look forward to more than one day off work, right after this one.

Man in the Mists

Looks like @initiatefailure‌ is gorging on them...

Man in the Mists

Fortunately, I was only waiting on one.

Vigorous jazz hands. Betcha can't have just one! (Discrider)
The Boy Scouts of America. Betcha can't have just one! (Iongantas) (*)
Suicidal thoughts. Betcha can't have just one! (Dr. Flamingo)
The inevitable heat death of the universe. Betcha can't have just one! (Axman13)
A thermonuclear detonation. Betcha can't have just one! (Boozer)
Homeless people. Betcha can't have just one! (Initiatefailure)

@Extreaminatus‌, what can't you get enough of?

Extreaminatus

The Boy Scouts of America, you just gotta grab em all! Uh. I mean...

Man in the Mists

So Iongantas, do you prefer your boy scouts boiled, mashed or stuck in a stew?

Round 8: Iongantas is judging

What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony?

Please PM your answers while Iongantas ignores the weird stares at where he tied the boy scout handkerchief.

axman13

I'm starting to think either I have a really shitty hand, or no one shares my sense of humor. Either way, i'm still happy I'm here playing the game.

see317

axman13 wrote: »

I'm starting to think either I have a really shitty hand, or no one shares my sense of humor. Either way, i'm still happy I'm here playing the game.

Really, nobody loses when they play CaH.
Well, unless you count the gradual erosion of the soul.

discrider

I actually thought that Judge Judy being the shambling corpse of Larry King was really clever, and was annoyed that I could only pick one answer.

initiatefailure

A solid half of CAH seems to be lamenting using your perfect card too early. I totally should have saved "me" for this round

see317

initiatefailure wrote: »

A solid half of CAH seems to be lamenting using your perfect card too early. I totally should have saved "me" for this round

The other half of the game is lamenting getting the perfect card just a bit too late.

Man in the Mists

Some of these answers are as revealing as running around naked.

What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony? 70,000 gamers sweating and farting inside an airtight steel dome (Axman13)
What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony? A greased-up Matthew McConaughey (Boozer)
What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony? Mad hacky-sack skills (Initiatefailure) (*)
What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony? A toxic family environment (Dr. Flamingo)
What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony? Gladiatorial combat (Extreaminatus)
What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony? Several Michael Keatons (Discrider)

@Iongantas, why is everyone getting hesitant to abandon clothes?

Iongantas

You know, Mad hacky-sack skills could be really dangerous at a nudist colony.

Man in the Mists

I'm sure Initiatefailure would also agree a circle of naked sack-kickers would lead to bad things.

Round 9: Initiatefailure is judging

What does Dick Cheney prefer?

Please PM your answers while Initiatefailure flees the nudist colony before Cheney can sign in.

initiatefailure

Oh yeah this'll end well

Elvenshae

see317 wrote: »

initiatefailure wrote: »

A solid half of CAH seems to be lamenting using your perfect card too early. I totally should have saved "me" for this round

The other half of the game is lamenting getting the perfect card just a bit too late.

So, CAH is really about things coming too early, or too late, but almost never right on time?

initiatefailure

Elvenshae wrote: »

see317 wrote: »

initiatefailure wrote: »

A solid half of CAH seems to be lamenting using your perfect card too early. I totally should have saved "me" for this round

The other half of the game is lamenting getting the perfect card just a bit too late.

So, CAH is really about things coming too early, or too late, but almost never right on time?

But they ARE always coming.



...

see317

Elvenshae wrote: »

see317 wrote: »

initiatefailure wrote: »

A solid half of CAH seems to be lamenting using your perfect card too early. I totally should have saved "me" for this round

The other half of the game is lamenting getting the perfect card just a bit too late.

So, CAH is really about things coming too early, or too late, but almost never right on time?

It's really not a game for wizards.

Man in the Mists

Great, now I have the thought of Dick Cheney with a wizard's wand. *shudder*

What does Dick Cheney prefer? Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza (Extreaminatus)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? Google Glass + e-cigarette: Ultimate Combo! (Discrider)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? The shittier, Jewish version of Christmas (Axman13)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? A merciless cyborg leading an army of undead robots plundering your unobtanium (Iongantas)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? Dick Cheney (Boozer)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? Getting caught up in the CROSSFIRE (Dr. Flamingo) (*)

@Initiatefailure, what will be the first thing Cheney learns how to summon?

axman13

Are there 4 blank cards here? Jesus.

initiatefailure

Wow. Damn. Most of These capture dick Cheney so well.

But I think what he prefers is to bust out his Xtreme 90s boardgame with a good friend that he definitely didn't shoot in the face, and get caught in the crossfire.

Man in the Mists

The game would be a lot more fun if Dr. Flamingo didn't cheat with that gun that shoots actual flaming crosses.

Round 10: Dr. Flamingo is judging

Revealed: Why He Really Resigned! Pope Benedict's Secret Struggle with _______!

Please PM your answers while Dr. Flamingo secretly video tapes the Vatican version of "Guess Who?".

discrider

I want to use Dr. Flamingo's card for this one.
Is this allowed?

Man in the Mists

@Iongantas and @Extreaminatus did have a good idea disguising themselves as priests, but now their cover might be blown if they misstep on the Altar Boy Offering Ceremony.

Man in the Mists

Glad everyone made it out with their lives, if not their dignity.

Revealed: Why He Really Resigned! Pope Benedict's Secret Struggle with Barack Obama! (Axman13)
Revealed: Why He Really Resigned! Pope Benedict's Secret Struggle with German dungeon porn! (Initiatefailure)
Revealed: Why He Really Resigned! Pope Benedict's Secret Struggle with the heart of a child! (Boozer)
Revealed: Why He Really Resigned! Pope Benedict's Secret Struggle with the Devil himself! (Discrider)
Revealed: Why He Really Resigned! Pope Benedict's Secret Struggle with Scientology! (Iongantas) (*)
Revealed: Why He Really Resigned! Pope Benedict's Secret Struggle with swiftly achieving orgasm! (Extreaminatus)

@Dr. Flamingo, what is OldPope's secretest of shames?

Dr. Flamingo

I have evidence that the Pope's real reason for retiring is Scientology!