Tracy, the oldest, took Mom to see her doctor yesterday.
They gave her some memory - specific questions. She didn't do so good.
Couldn't tell the doctor what city they were in, or the name of the hospital.
A while back , Michelle had asked her if she knew what year it is. Mom couldn't tell her.
Asked her about our middle names & how old we all are. Mom couldn't tell her that, either.
Fuck.
Her doctor put her on a prescription for some medication specific to people with dementia and Alzheimer's. Hopefully that will help. Set her condition back a year or two, maybe.
Sigh.
I don't know what else to say. I just wish I could wake up from all this, like a bad dream.
Tracy, the oldest, took Mom to see her doctor yesterday.
They gave her some memory - specific questions. She didn't do so good.
Couldn't tell the doctor what city they were in, or the name of the hospital.
A while back , Michelle had asked her if she knew what year it is. Mom couldn't tell her.
Asked her about our middle names & how old we all are. Mom couldn't tell her that, either.
Fuck.
Her doctor put her on a prescription for some medication specific to people with dementia and Alzheimer's. Hopefully that will help. Set her condition back a year or two, maybe.
Sigh.
I don't know what else to say. I just wish I could wake up from all this, like a bad dream.
it sucks but meds might help. and agreed it may be something else (unfortunately also agreed it isn't necessarily better that way)
anyway when we took my dad for his neuropsychology eval he froze up during a question because for a minute he couldn't remember our names at all. just completely gone. and with meds and all he's been much improved generally. here's hoping your mom will also see some level of improvement
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Blackhawk1313Demon Hunter for HireTime RiftRegistered Userregular
Ummm... I think nature may be trying to kill my family. Aunt and Uncle in Santa Rosa had to evacuate and escape the wildfires. Their house is gone. I think I'm just gonna go sit in a corner and cry for awhile.
My mom called me yesterday because she wants me to look into reverse mortgages and alternatives. Turned out her job just got bought by another company and they're making everyone apply for their jobs. She's not super worried but she also wants to plan for the future.
The UGH part comes up because the home she's living in she's been living in since I was in 6 grade, over 20 years ago. And yesterday in the conversation it came up that she still has 14 years left in the mortgage (I believe she refinanced sometime), which is just mindboggling.
So the options are that I (along with my brothers) Eventually take over the payments, which I'm not super excited about, or we eventually lose all that she paid into, which I am also not super excited about.
I genuinely want to confront her and ask her how she is in this situation, but I know the answer.
My aunt, who I saw for the first time in ~10 years over the summer, has invited me to my first family Thanksgiving since I stopped seeing/speaking with my father.
My post on the summer thing is a few pages back, here.
I am almost definitely going, because I like the rest of the family. But again, my heart is skipping beats and my stomach feels cold and in knots at the thought of having to see/deal with my father and his wife, again. Surprisingly, as I mentioned in the linked post above, mainly it's an issue with his wife not respecting my boundaries. But hey, there's also the constant threat of my father suddenly attacking me again, so !?!??
Getting to see my family again is really nice but it feels really marred by the fact that I have to be on high alert for both (1) emotional protection, and possible (2) physical protection. It's just shitty. I wish it could just be a nice relaxing visit.
Here's to hoping my father and his wife take 200 wrong turns and end up in Mexico by accident.
The fact that she overstepped the bounds last time and then sent an email has me confused on how to tackle it because she doesn't respect you or your requests for the sake of pushing her own agenda.
The only thing I can think of to say is "I'm not here for you and I don't give two shits about you, your license, or anything and I thought you could act like an adult about all of this and respect my wishes." (E:) If she brings it up yet again.
And if you feel like twisting the knife, "My mother may not have been correct about you, but you sure do act like someone who's guilty of doing stupid things."
This is like the absolute nuclear option you can say to this lady though, and I can't think of a more tactful way other than ignore her and leave if she pesters and apologize to your aunt.
bowen on
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
Definitely don't let her pull you aside or corner you alone somehow. I would basically gurantee her trying something like that again. Have something dramatic to hurl at her face, like a smoke bomb or a declaration of diarrhea, so you can flee
So my grandfather is in hosipice care for the second time in a year. He made a really impressive recovery last time and was doing okay for a while but it sounds like this time around he's not going to get better. So... yeah. He might be gone as soon as the end of the week. This isn't a shock, since his health has been flagging for a while now. But in truth I still don't know how to feel about it? Like.... I was never able to come out to him, though I am fairly sure he would not be accepting if I had. So there is that disonnect there. I am dreading the funeral, which is just... very likely not going to be pleasant for a long list of reasons, most of which can be summed up as my parents not handling stress well. But I feel guilty just for how I feel about the prospect right now.
Oh, and to top it all off my grandmother is pretty senile these days. There is a good chance she won't remember the funeral the day after, which is just... oooof.
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
Brofist.
I honestly can't imagine going through all that at this point in my life.
I'm sorry for your potential loss, and for all the stuff that comes with it.
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
edited November 2017
She tries talking to you.
"ZA WARDO! TOKI YO TOMARE!"
She continues to try to talk to you, patiently explain to her that she can't talk to you because you have frozen time and for the next six seconds she is frozen. After six seconds have passed, explain that there are still five point eight seconds left.
Munkus Beaver on
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
So my brother invited the whole family down for xmas to his home in Alabama. Which is awesome, he's got a big place. However the flights from Syracuse are all shitty with really shitty layovers. Either I'd have one that's super short like 25 minutes (which is not enough) or I'd have one that's ridiculously long that is like 3-4 hours.
So I'm torn between driving down or flying and having to sit in a shitty airport with carry-ons and shit. It's only a 14 hour drive, not a big deal I can do that in a day ezpz no problem. And on the plus side I wouldn't need to rent a car or anything, and I don't have to deal with luggage or carry-ons or sitting in those tiny seats and I can probably see some sites on my way down if I take an extra day or two.
Any recommendations?
bowen on
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
Definitely drive. If the difference is less than a day, it beats the airport hassle almost any day of the week, in my opinion. Plus you'll have your car, making you able to be in charge of family activities, or flee them entirely
I used to *dread* the nineteen hour drive from here to Michigan. Now I get all giddy when my kids and wife all finally fall asleep, because it means I can finally pop in my iPod and pretend I'm the Road Warrior
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
Me personally, I'd fly it, but I like flying and my shitty joints of anger don't love long car trips like they used to do. I've also done enough long, long distance driving to feel like I've really covered that need in my life. plus it seems like I always end up getting sick or something that changes my outlook on the trip from 'yeah, road trip!' to 'holy fuck let it end'. I may be speaking from a place of driving 1800 miles in 3 days with what turned out to be post-surgical fluid buildup and a pretty hearty infection, though
that being said if you go through Kentucky you could go tour Mammoth Cave, which I can personally vouch for as quite excellent, or go to 610 Magnolia in Louisville and make me deeply jealous, or depending on how far south you are headed you could go through Atlanta and see the aquarium which has whale sharks (and also make me deeply, DEEPLY jealous)
also no there's no train option there, not even busses!
The only reason I don't want to fly is I hate being stuck in airports for more than an hour, but I also can't find a layover that isn't half a dayish, and the other options are like 20 minutes and the airports I'm flying into have those shitty multiterminal trams that take forever.
Feels like a waste of time, and I'd barely beat driving at that level.
On the plus side, I don't have to deal with the TSA.
bowen on
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
also no there's no train option there, not even busses!
The only reason I don't want to fly is I hate being stuck in airports for more than an hour, but I also can't find a layover that isn't half a dayish, and the other options are like 20 minutes and the airports I'm flying into have those shitty multiterminal trams that take forever.
Feels like a waste of time, and I'd barely beat driving at that level.
On the plus side, I don't have to deal with the TSA.
I love the trains here.
The only down side is that the bullet train stations are like a million miles from everything.
also no there's no train option there, not even busses!
The only reason I don't want to fly is I hate being stuck in airports for more than an hour, but I also can't find a layover that isn't half a dayish, and the other options are like 20 minutes and the airports I'm flying into have those shitty multiterminal trams that take forever.
Feels like a waste of time, and I'd barely beat driving at that level.
On the plus side, I don't have to deal with the TSA.
I love the trains here.
The only down side is that the bullet train stations are like a million miles from everything.
Japan?
I'd probably be okay with trains there. I don't have a problem with like the DC Metro or anything.
But long distance train travel sets my teeth on edge. (E: I found one for $300 and it takes 40 hours, lawl)
bowen on
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
Posts
They gave her some memory - specific questions. She didn't do so good.
Couldn't tell the doctor what city they were in, or the name of the hospital.
A while back , Michelle had asked her if she knew what year it is. Mom couldn't tell her.
Asked her about our middle names & how old we all are. Mom couldn't tell her that, either.
Fuck.
Her doctor put her on a prescription for some medication specific to people with dementia and Alzheimer's. Hopefully that will help. Set her condition back a year or two, maybe.
Sigh.
I don't know what else to say. I just wish I could wake up from all this, like a bad dream.
He has seen better.
it sucks but meds might help. and agreed it may be something else (unfortunately also agreed it isn't necessarily better that way)
anyway when we took my dad for his neuropsychology eval he froze up during a question because for a minute he couldn't remember our names at all. just completely gone. and with meds and all he's been much improved generally. here's hoping your mom will also see some level of improvement
My mom called me yesterday because she wants me to look into reverse mortgages and alternatives. Turned out her job just got bought by another company and they're making everyone apply for their jobs. She's not super worried but she also wants to plan for the future.
The UGH part comes up because the home she's living in she's been living in since I was in 6 grade, over 20 years ago. And yesterday in the conversation it came up that she still has 14 years left in the mortgage (I believe she refinanced sometime), which is just mindboggling.
So the options are that I (along with my brothers) Eventually take over the payments, which I'm not super excited about, or we eventually lose all that she paid into, which I am also not super excited about.
I genuinely want to confront her and ask her how she is in this situation, but I know the answer.
So that kind of fucking sucks
It does, and I'm sorry
Fuck cancer
Good news: he's been released from the hospital and all of his vitals look pretty good.
Bad news: he's going to need to learn how to live without butter, red meat, and tobacco.
My post on the summer thing is a few pages back, here.
I am almost definitely going, because I like the rest of the family. But again, my heart is skipping beats and my stomach feels cold and in knots at the thought of having to see/deal with my father and his wife, again. Surprisingly, as I mentioned in the linked post above, mainly it's an issue with his wife not respecting my boundaries. But hey, there's also the constant threat of my father suddenly attacking me again, so !?!??
Getting to see my family again is really nice but it feels really marred by the fact that I have to be on high alert for both (1) emotional protection, and possible (2) physical protection. It's just shitty. I wish it could just be a nice relaxing visit.
Here's to hoping my father and his wife take 200 wrong turns and end up in Mexico by accident.
I don't like confrontation and I don't like being mean, but
how do I tell her "fuck the fuck off, you fuck"
maybe just wear a t-shirt with her face on it and this graphic over her face
The only thing I can think of to say is "I'm not here for you and I don't give two shits about you, your license, or anything and I thought you could act like an adult about all of this and respect my wishes." (E:) If she brings it up yet again.
And if you feel like twisting the knife, "My mother may not have been correct about you, but you sure do act like someone who's guilty of doing stupid things."
This is like the absolute nuclear option you can say to this lady though, and I can't think of a more tactful way other than ignore her and leave if she pesters and apologize to your aunt.
Then ghost out of there like a Phantom
Ahhhh, lo siento, no hablo Inglés! Donde estan mis pantalones??
It is going to frustrate her to no end, it's perfect.
Talk about cats and dogs in spanish, hopefully she doesn't know it or remember enough of it to really fight you on it.
Learn Klingon.
Which was in my phone's dictionary
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
I should just go all-out and dress up like Worf. Sit at the dinner table, never breaking eye contact while occasionally shouting Klingon proverbs.
"IT IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE"
"I TRAVEL THE RIVER OF BLOOD"
Oh, and to top it all off my grandmother is pretty senile these days. There is a good chance she won't remember the funeral the day after, which is just... oooof.
I honestly can't imagine going through all that at this point in my life.
I'm sorry for your potential loss, and for all the stuff that comes with it.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Start mixing in some french or japanese words too.
"ZA WARDO! TOKI YO TOMARE!"
She continues to try to talk to you, patiently explain to her that she can't talk to you because you have frozen time and for the next six seconds she is frozen. After six seconds have passed, explain that there are still five point eight seconds left.
So my brother invited the whole family down for xmas to his home in Alabama. Which is awesome, he's got a big place. However the flights from Syracuse are all shitty with really shitty layovers. Either I'd have one that's super short like 25 minutes (which is not enough) or I'd have one that's ridiculously long that is like 3-4 hours.
So I'm torn between driving down or flying and having to sit in a shitty airport with carry-ons and shit. It's only a 14 hour drive, not a big deal I can do that in a day ezpz no problem. And on the plus side I wouldn't need to rent a car or anything, and I don't have to deal with luggage or carry-ons or sitting in those tiny seats and I can probably see some sites on my way down if I take an extra day or two.
Any recommendations?
Always take the train. Train is awesome.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
that being said if you go through Kentucky you could go tour Mammoth Cave, which I can personally vouch for as quite excellent, or go to 610 Magnolia in Louisville and make me deeply jealous, or depending on how far south you are headed you could go through Atlanta and see the aquarium which has whale sharks (and also make me deeply, DEEPLY jealous)
also no there's no train option there, not even busses!
The only reason I don't want to fly is I hate being stuck in airports for more than an hour, but I also can't find a layover that isn't half a dayish, and the other options are like 20 minutes and the airports I'm flying into have those shitty multiterminal trams that take forever.
Feels like a waste of time, and I'd barely beat driving at that level.
On the plus side, I don't have to deal with the TSA.
I love the trains here.
The only down side is that the bullet train stations are like a million miles from everything.
Japan?
I'd probably be okay with trains there. I don't have a problem with like the DC Metro or anything.
But long distance train travel sets my teeth on edge. (E: I found one for $300 and it takes 40 hours, lawl)