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It's the [Trans thread]!

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    amnesiasoftamnesiasoft Thick Creamy Furry Registered User regular
    Well, guess I need a new job. They're not even going to pretend to try to make the other employees use correct name and pronouns.

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    TubeTube Registered User admin
    Well, guess I need a new job. They're not even going to pretend to try to make the other employees use correct name and pronouns.

    Is there any chance that other employees will just not be dicks?

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    amnesiasoftamnesiasoft Thick Creamy Furry Registered User regular
    "Show me your ID, what does it say"
    "that's not what your birth certificate says"
    "They've known you as (name) for so long!"

    Yeah, no.

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    Ms DapperMs Dapper Yuri Librarian Registered User regular
    Jesus, that sucks, I'm so sorry.

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    The BetgirlThe Betgirl I'm Molly! Registered User regular
    hugs hugs hugs hugs :(

    Steam PSN: YerFriendMolly
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    TubeTube Registered User admin
    I knew my best friend for 12 years before she transitioned and somehow I fucking dealt with it. Have you worked their for 13 years or less? Then they can fuck off.

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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Wait...a politician made up a fake potty hotline to narc on people?

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    Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    edited April 2016
    Tube wrote: »
    I knew my best friend for 12 years before she transitioned and somehow I fucking dealt with it. Have you worked their for 13 years or less? Then they can fuck off.

    yeah like

    if your "confusion" goes any farther than occasionally mixing up names/pronouns for a week or two

    then odds are pretttttttttttty good that you're not actually trying

    Speed Racer on
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    FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    Tube wrote: »
    I knew my best friend for 12 years before she transitioned and somehow I fucking dealt with it. Have you worked their for 13 years or less? Then they can fuck off.

    yeah like

    if your "confusion" goes any farther than occasionally mixing up names/pronouns for a week or two

    then odds are pretttttttttttty good that you're not actually trying

    Being bad with names is not a reason to not treat people with basic human dignity.

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    amnesiasoftamnesiasoft Thick Creamy Furry Registered User regular
    Oh yeah, I forgot about that one: "They're not disrespecting you by calling you the wrong name."

    Yeah, yeah they kinda are.

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    WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    Wait...a politician made up a fake potty hotline to narc on people?

    from what I gather the whole link, quote, and story were fake, but the fact that it was plausible enough to be a real thing that no one here questioned is pretty really very bad

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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Oh yeah, I forgot about that one: "They're not disrespecting you by calling you the wrong name."

    Yeah, yeah they kinda are.

    "Whatever you say, Geri"
    "My name's Steve"
    "Sure thing, Benny"

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    DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    Oh yeah, I forgot about that one: "They're not disrespecting you by calling you the wrong name."

    Yeah, yeah they kinda are.

    "Whatever you say, Geri"
    "My name's Steve"
    "Sure thing, Benny"

    Exactly my reaction.

    For extra bonus points find anybody who goes by a shortened or nick name and always always always use their full name since that's what it says on their birth certificate.

    Nod. Get treat. PSN: Quippish
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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    Oh yeah, I forgot about that one: "They're not disrespecting you by calling you the wrong name."

    Yeah, yeah they kinda are.

    "Whatever you say, Geri"
    "My name's Steve"
    "Sure thing, Benny"

    Exactly my reaction.

    For extra bonus points find anybody who goes by a shortened or nick name and always always always use their full name since that's what it says on their birth certificate.

    Ore one of a billion people that go by their middle name because at some point in their life they chose to go by that. Just make a point to overly emphasize it at every opportunity. If names weren't important, we'd just call everyone, "Fellow Earther" or some shit.

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    Ms DapperMs Dapper Yuri Librarian Registered User regular
    I never like the "Just call them by the wrong name too" tactic because I'm always so sure that it'll just end in that person taking this as a cue to be mean and spiteful.

    This ain't saying trans people shouldn't get angry. I'm saying maybe get directly angry. That snide, sarcastic anger feels like it will only cause problems for me.

    Unfortunately trans people (trans women especially) are held to a higher standard of being nice in the face of bullshit.

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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    Ms Dapper wrote: »
    I never like the "Just call them by the wrong name too" tactic because I'm always so sure that it'll just end in that person taking this as a cue to be mean and spiteful.

    This ain't saying trans people shouldn't get angry. I'm saying maybe get directly angry. That snide, sarcastic anger feels like it will only cause problems for me.

    Unfortunately trans people (trans women especially) are held to a higher standard of being nice in the face of bullshit.

    Passive aggressive just works better for some people. If I appeared outwardly angry I might put the wrong idea out there, because I'm 6'4" 250 pounds. I don't want someone to be physically afraid of me, I want them to know they're pissing me off and they need to fucking stop. If actual, to-the-point talking about it doesn't work, I'll be a passive aggressive shit to them until they either get the point or we stop associating with eachother, which is kind of a dual win.

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Merriam Webster is laying down some pretty good snark in the face of bigots right now

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited April 2016
    Oh yeah, I forgot about that one: "They're not disrespecting you by calling you the wrong name."

    Yeah, yeah they kinda are.

    A lot of people have this belief that they can just dictate the terms of what is and isn't acceptable for people who aren't them.

    Like, who the fuck are you, theoretical person, to tell someone else what is and isn't hurtful? You don't make the rules for anyone but you, fuck you and your opinions.

    (there's a slight chance this view stems from Aspergers related experiences)

    Goatmon on
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    Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    "I don't want to change my behavior so you should change your feelings"

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    DoctorArchDoctorArch Curmudgeon Registered User regular
    edited April 2016
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Oh yeah, I forgot about that one: "They're not disrespecting you by calling you the wrong name."

    Yeah, yeah they kinda are.

    A lot of people have this belief that they can just dictate the terms of what is and isn't acceptable for people who aren't them.

    Like, who the fuck are you, theoretical person, to tell someone else what is and isn't hurtful? You don't make the rules for anyone but you, fuck you and your opinions.

    (there's a slight chance this view stems from Aspergers related experiences)

    People believe that an opinion is the same thing as a fact and how dare you tell them their opinion is wrong, you're the real bigot for not accepting their terrible opinions.

    God that made my head hurt just typing it.

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    amnesiasoftamnesiasoft Thick Creamy Furry Registered User regular
    There is absolutely, 100%, such a thing as a wrong opinion no matter what those people say.

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    GnizmoGnizmo Registered User regular
    Merriam Webster is laying down some pretty good snark in the face of bigots right now


    When you get burned by a dictionary you should seriously rethink your life choices.

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    King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    There is absolutely, 100%, such a thing as a wrong opinion no matter what those people say.

    The idea that an opinion is infallible ( and alternatively that it allows you to dismiss indisputable facts) has sort of co developed with the internet. It's a problematic concept because it lets people reinforce their own ignorance

    I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    Merriam-Webster's social media person is pretty amazing, sometimes they get into Twitter fights with Dictionary.com and shit, they are sassy as fuck.

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    NarbusNarbus Registered User regular
    There is absolutely, 100%, such a thing as a wrong opinion no matter what those people say.

    The idea that an opinion is infallible ( and alternatively that it allows you to dismiss indisputable facts) has sort of co developed with the internet. It's a problematic concept because it lets people reinforce their own ignorance

    The internet is absolutely not the source of this sort of behavior. Look how long it took for homosexuality to be removed from the DSM, or the rise of the welfare queen mythology in the 60s and onwards, etc etc.

    People have always reinforced their existing ideas more readily than considering new ones.

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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    All the internet did was make it easier for people to find info and/or people that agree with their worldview.

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    SkwigelfSkwigelf Passed out in a cloud of farts and cigarette smoke.Registered User regular
    a
    Goatmon wrote: »
    All the internet did was make it easier for people to find info and/or people that agree with their worldview.

    And anonymously harass people that don't.

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    GundiGundi Serious Bismuth Registered User regular
    "I don't want to change my behavior so you should change your feelings"
    Alternative translation: "Fuck you."

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    HawkstoneHawkstone Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things. Somewhere outside of BarstowRegistered User regular
    Narbus wrote: »
    There is absolutely, 100%, such a thing as a wrong opinion no matter what those people say.

    The idea that an opinion is infallible ( and alternatively that it allows you to dismiss indisputable facts) has sort of co developed with the internet. It's a problematic concept because it lets people reinforce their own ignorance

    The internet is absolutely not the source of this sort of behavior. Look how long it took for homosexuality to be removed from the DSM, or the rise of the welfare queen mythology in the 60s and onwards, etc etc.

    People have always reinforced their existing ideas more readily than considering new ones.

    Shit Fox News developed a whole business model around it.

    Inside of a dog...it's too dark to read.
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    Ms DapperMs Dapper Yuri Librarian Registered User regular
    Well tonight I have a mandatory HR meeting with a bunch of people from different departments.

    Multiple people have told me there segment on transgender people is rough. A lot of talk about Caitlynn Jenner using her dead name and how "he made a choice" and how trans employees have to either use the bathroom on the birth certificate or the one family bathroom that's on a different floor from where I work.

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    CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    Ms Dapper wrote: »
    Well tonight I have a mandatory HR meeting with a bunch of people from different departments.

    Multiple people have told me there segment on transgender people is rough. A lot of talk about Caitlynn Jenner using her dead name and how "he made a choice" and how trans employees have to either use the bathroom on the birth certificate or the one family bathroom that's on a different floor from where I work.

    Fuck.

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    ArtoriaArtoria Registered User regular
    Well, guess I need a new job. They're not even going to pretend to try to make the other employees use correct name and pronouns.

    Since you are leaving anyway do you have documentation of your interactions with HR/The complaints you filed? because if they are not addressing the issue it sounds like a discrimination lawsuit to me?

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    Ms DapperMs Dapper Yuri Librarian Registered User regular
    I'm honestly wonder if it's worth making a huge stink over because then all these people I barely know (including cops) will just start judging me and saying how I don't pass yet and that's why I can never use the right bathroom.

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    ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    dragonsama wrote: »
    Well, guess I need a new job. They're not even going to pretend to try to make the other employees use correct name and pronouns.

    Since you are leaving anyway do you have documentation of your interactions with HR/The complaints you filed? because if they are not addressing the issue it sounds like a discrimination lawsuit to me?

    It sounds like it should be right?

    Only it's perfectly legal to discriminate against non-protected classes and a lot of the legal pushes right now in state legislatures (and the larger part of the NC bill) have been to shut down local anti-discrimination laws and maintain alphabet people as unprotected.

    Which we are in most places in the US.

    Even places you'd think would have protections

    fuck gendered marketing
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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Also, lawsuits tend to be both costly and time-consuming, which isn't great for people who aren't wealthy enough to not have an employer in the first place. And then there's all the attention a lawsuit can bring, which can have a serious social cost (and sometimes other costs, especially in a discrimination case, where you're basically calling attention to yourself and reasons why shitty people might want to make your life miserable).

    Like, I love the idea of justice, but in a lot of cases, you have to actually be pretty privileged to begin with in order to make the legal system really work for you. Basically the only people who can afford to use it are the ones who don't really need it.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    The BetgirlThe Betgirl I'm Molly! Registered User regular
    Also, lawsuits tend to be both costly and time-consuming, which isn't great for people who aren't wealthy enough to not have an employer in the first place. And then there's all the attention a lawsuit can bring, which can have a serious social cost (and sometimes other costs, especially in a discrimination case, where you're basically calling attention to yourself and reasons why shitty people might want to make your life miserable).

    Like, I love the idea of justice, but in a lot of cases, you have to actually be pretty privileged to begin with in order to make the legal system really work for you. Basically the only people who can afford to use it are the ones who don't really need it.

    Funny how that works, huh?

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Also, lawsuits tend to be both costly and time-consuming, which isn't great for people who aren't wealthy enough to not have an employer in the first place. And then there's all the attention a lawsuit can bring, which can have a serious social cost (and sometimes other costs, especially in a discrimination case, where you're basically calling attention to yourself and reasons why shitty people might want to make your life miserable).

    Like, I love the idea of justice, but in a lot of cases, you have to actually be pretty privileged to begin with in order to make the legal system really work for you. Basically the only people who can afford to use it are the ones who don't really need it.

    Funny how that works, huh?

    Yeah. Funny.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    edited April 2016
    I
    Also, lawsuits tend to be both costly and time-consuming, which isn't great for people who aren't wealthy enough to not have an employer in the first place. And then there's all the attention a lawsuit can bring, which can have a serious social cost (and sometimes other costs, especially in a discrimination case, where you're basically calling attention to yourself and reasons why shitty people might want to make your life miserable).

    Like, I love the idea of justice, but in a lot of cases, you have to actually be pretty privileged to begin with in order to make the legal system really work for you. Basically the only people who can afford to use it are the ones who don't really need it.

    I'm no expert and maybe it's different for discrimination cases, but don't most lawyers take their payment out of the damages you're awarded

    Of course that still has the problems that the damages you're being awarded have to be enough for it to be profitable for the lawyer to pursue the case, and depending on circumstances you might be open to being countersued for legal fees

    This is all hypothetical until transgender people get protected class status which is prolly a long way out still, but also isn't this sort of situation what the ACLU is for?

    Speed Racer on
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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    I
    Also, lawsuits tend to be both costly and time-consuming, which isn't great for people who aren't wealthy enough to not have an employer in the first place. And then there's all the attention a lawsuit can bring, which can have a serious social cost (and sometimes other costs, especially in a discrimination case, where you're basically calling attention to yourself and reasons why shitty people might want to make your life miserable).

    Like, I love the idea of justice, but in a lot of cases, you have to actually be pretty privileged to begin with in order to make the legal system really work for you. Basically the only people who can afford to use it are the ones who don't really need it.

    I'm no expert and maybe it's different for discrimination cases, but don't most lawyers take their payment out of the damages you're awarded

    Of course that still has the problems that the damages you're being awarded have to be enough for it to be profitable for the lawyer to pursue the case, and depending on circumstances you might be open to being countersued for legal fees

    This is all hypothetical until transgender people get protected class status which is prolly a long way out still, but also isn't this sort of situation what the ACLU is for?

    The issue isn't the end cost, it's having funds to retain the lawyer in the first place (unless you're lucky to find someone who's both competent and pro bono) and the money you're not making from work during the case, which is often drawn out extensively because corporations who just pay other people to do law stuff full time can afford to do this a lot longer than you can.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    NecoNeco Worthless Garbage Registered User regular
    Elldren wrote: »
    dragonsama wrote: »
    Well, guess I need a new job. They're not even going to pretend to try to make the other employees use correct name and pronouns.

    Since you are leaving anyway do you have documentation of your interactions with HR/The complaints you filed? because if they are not addressing the issue it sounds like a discrimination lawsuit to me?

    It sounds like it should be right?

    Only it's perfectly legal to discriminate against non-protected classes and a lot of the legal pushes right now in state legislatures (and the larger part of the NC bill) have been to shut down local anti-discrimination laws and maintain alphabet people as unprotected.

    Which we are in most places in the US.

    Even places you'd think would have protections

    Yeah, I think there are only a few states that have gender identity anti discrimination laws. Which is really pathetic.

This discussion has been closed.