Well, guess I need a new job. They're not even going to pretend to try to make the other employees use correct name and pronouns.
Since you are leaving anyway do you have documentation of your interactions with HR/The complaints you filed? because if they are not addressing the issue it sounds like a discrimination lawsuit to me?
It sounds like it should be right?
Only it's perfectly legal to discriminate against non-protected classes and a lot of the legal pushes right now in state legislatures (and the larger part of the NC bill) have been to shut down local anti-discrimination laws and maintain alphabet people as unprotected.
Which we are in most places in the US.
Even places you'd think would have protections
Yeah, I think there are only a few states that have gender identity anti discrimination laws. Which is really pathetic.
Well, guess I need a new job. They're not even going to pretend to try to make the other employees use correct name and pronouns.
Since you are leaving anyway do you have documentation of your interactions with HR/The complaints you filed? because if they are not addressing the issue it sounds like a discrimination lawsuit to me?
It sounds like it should be right?
Only it's perfectly legal to discriminate against non-protected classes and a lot of the legal pushes right now in state legislatures (and the larger part of the NC bill) have been to shut down local anti-discrimination laws and maintain alphabet people as unprotected.
Which we are in most places in the US.
Even places you'd think would have protections
Yeah, I think there are only a few states that have gender identity anti discrimination laws. Which is really pathetic.
only 19 iirc
not sure if it says something about me or the country that I figured on that number being a whole lot lower.
Also, lawsuits tend to be both costly and time-consuming, which isn't great for people who aren't wealthy enough to not have an employer in the first place. And then there's all the attention a lawsuit can bring, which can have a serious social cost (and sometimes other costs, especially in a discrimination case, where you're basically calling attention to yourself and reasons why shitty people might want to make your life miserable).
Like, I love the idea of justice, but in a lot of cases, you have to actually be pretty privileged to begin with in order to make the legal system really work for you. Basically the only people who can afford to use it are the ones who don't really need it.
I'm no expert and maybe it's different for discrimination cases, but don't most lawyers take their payment out of the damages you're awarded
Of course that still has the problems that the damages you're being awarded have to be enough for it to be profitable for the lawyer to pursue the case, and depending on circumstances you might be open to being countersued for legal fees
This is all hypothetical until transgender people get protected class status which is prolly a long way out still, but also isn't this sort of situation what the ACLU is for?
The issue isn't the end cost, it's having funds to retain the lawyer in the first place (unless you're lucky to find someone who's both competent and pro bono) and the money you're not making from work during the case, which is often drawn out extensively because corporations who just pay other people to do law stuff full time can afford to do this a lot longer than you can.
Right but so
My only experience is with medical and legal malpractice suits so again maybe this doesn't apply
But in both of those cases our lawyers worked for us for free, with the understanding that if and when we got awarded a settlement or damages we would owe them 30% of what we got
My understanding was that it's primarily defense attorneys that require payment up front
I'm honestly wonder if it's worth making a huge stink over because then all these people I barely know (including cops) will just start judging me and saying how I don't pass yet and that's why I can never use the right bathroom.
well, way i see it you got, roughly three options. One, do make a big stink making sure to try to keep a level head so they can't throw that in your face, 2, If it is as bad as you hear find out who made the thing and report them to HR for discrimination and encourage any of your work friends to act likewise, or C) Start looking for a new place of employ because who boy this place sounds fucked up.
Well a cop just told me that she finds trans people "disgusting" and that they're "just guys playing dress up. I almost breakdown there and had a breakdown when I was alone.
Actual HR people were great though. I talked with them afterwards and they were very nice and understanding. The actual bit of the meeting about trans rights wasn't the best but they said that they need to keep trans people's safety in mind. Another person attending said she didn't want someone who had "bought the parts" in with her who got them at birth and they said that was a very wrong way to refer to it.
Well a cop just told me that she finds trans people "disgusting" and that they're "just guys playing dress up. I almost breakdown there and had a breakdown when I was alone.
Man I'm so sorry that happened to you. I know cops are often not held to tight enough standards, but jeez... cops shouldn't harass anyone. Especially not in uniform. Like, the primary job of officers on the beat is mostly just to make people feel safe. (Illusion of safety and all that jazz.) Insulting someone to their face is literally antithetical to their job.
like, i went to college for law enforcement, at one time that was where my career was going before whooooooops career-ending back injury
anyway one of the things my instructor used to say was that police really do need to be a higher standard of people
if your pizza guy fucks up, you get cold pizza or the wrong toppings. if your cab driver fucks up, you are late and it costs you more money to get to your destination. if a cop fucks up, people's lives get ruined and they can fucking die
so if a cop is racist or homophobic or transphobic or whatever, it's the fucking worst. it's way worse than a politician having those kinds of views, because while a politician potentially has the power to pass laws that can on a broad scale impact more people, on a direct level that one cop can destroy more lives with being a shitstain
i got a lot of buddies who are cops, because that was a social circle that i rolled in at one time and i got family who are in corrections and law enforcement. they're good dudes (or they wouldn't be my buddies) but jesus christ they got people in their lives who are complete fucking bastards
a buddy of mine who is a (Canadian) cop wrote a bit on his Facebook about HB2 and such a while back and how fucking garbage it is and how, even if a law that abominable gets created, ultimately it will be a toothless law if the police have the heart to stand up to it and refuse to enforce it (police refusal to enforce unjust laws is kind of a cultural thing in Canada, it's why pot is basically legal in BC and why safe shoot-up sites for heroin are a thing).
some buddies of his who are also cops pointed out that the grim reality is that unfortunately a lot of American cops will gleefully enforce these kinds of laws, they wholeheartedly support them. which is unfortunate, but true. what's worse, though, are some of the other people on his friends list who are also Canadian cops who basically came out in favor of these laws and were like "these laws should be enforced because pedophiles hurp a durrrr" and they got into a big Facebook argument. I ended up wading in at that point, only to have my opinion disregarded by those guys as a "civilian" (which caused one of the other cops to get real fucking mad because he's a vet and he gets mad fuckin salty when cops refer to non-cops as "civilians". police are civilians too by definition)
it was this huge row and it got ugly, my friend whose Facebook this happened on ended up unfriending a bunch of people over it and shit. I asked him if he worked with any of the worst of them and he was like yep, some of them are in my department. I asked if he was like, going to take that up with a supervisor or something and he's like nnnnnnope, that's a political opinion expressed on social media, that's protected, even if i don't care for it and think it's awful, that's their right.
Well a cop just told me that she finds trans people "disgusting" and that they're "just guys playing dress up. I almost breakdown there and had a breakdown when I was alone.
Man I'm so sorry that happened to you. I know cops are often not held to tight enough standards, but jeez... cops shouldn't harass anyone. Especially not in uniform. Like, the primary job of officers on the beat is mostly just to make people feel safe. (Illusion of safety and all that jazz.) Insulting someone to their face is literally antithetical to their job.
The thing is in pretty sure she didn't know I was trans. She just assumed she was in company of people she could say that shit to and the second I spoke up she doubled down more.
Well a cop just told me that she finds trans people "disgusting" and that they're "just guys playing dress up. I almost breakdown there and had a breakdown when I was alone.
Man I'm so sorry that happened to you. I know cops are often not held to tight enough standards, but jeez... cops shouldn't harass anyone. Especially not in uniform. Like, the primary job of officers on the beat is mostly just to make people feel safe. (Illusion of safety and all that jazz.) Insulting someone to their face is literally antithetical to their job.
The thing is in pretty sure she didn't know I was trans. She just assumed she was in company of people she could say that shit to and the second I spoke up she doubled down more.
yeah that sounds right
when shitty people don't think they're in "mixed company" they will air all kinds of filthy laundry
it makes me so fucking angry because to the majority of people, i read as a straight white cis male, aka The Guy You Can Say Shit Around
so that's when people will be like "the fuckin' Jews m i rite?"
and i have to do the mental math of "do i want to make a thing out of the fact that I'm fucking Jewish right now?"
fortunately, for me, I have what I have come to call "escalation privilege"
I can pretty much fearlessly escalate any situation without a lot of concern, up to and including considering that it might get violent
this is pure, uncut privilege, other people don't have that necessarily
and even i have to weight how fucking tiring that can be and how much it's worth it to just nuke a social situation for myself
There's a bill being drafted by a committee of the Democratic minority in the NC legislature. It's not going to pass through our congress but it does feel just a tiny bit better to get some official state-level pushback against it. (Previously all the internal pushback has been at the municipal level.)
So, I came out as trans to my manager last night and she was incredibly supportive and has my back once I start presenting femme. She asked how the process was going, asking how I felt, and she printed out a new name badge and gave me a women's uniform in my size! Only minor trouble is having my pronouns on my name badge, which she has no issue with, but she's forced to contact head office about since it's a matter of changing the uniform policy ever so slightly. But otherwise yeah, she says I'm free to start presenting whenever I feel comfortable to, and that her door's always open if need be.
I'm both scared and also excited, but I finally get to be a girl at work. Now to start figuring out how I'll be coming out on Facebook.
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Sir FabulousMalevolent Squid GodRegistered Userregular
Bit the bullet, asked a friend to go dress shopping with me sometime.
If this is all about keeping people from feeling unsafe in public restrooms, could we also get a bill that prohibits the NC state congress and governor from using public restrooms? Because knowing what they think people use public restrooms for, I don't really want to share one with any of them.
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KwoaruConfident SmirkFlawless Golden PecsRegistered Userregular
The Oxford, Alabama, city council unanimously approved an ordinance on Tuesday that bars trans people from using any public bathroom that doesn’t match the sex indicated on their birth certificate. Because changing one’s birth certificate is difficult in many states (including Alabama) and impossible in others, the measure effectively proscribes trans people in Oxford from using any bathroom outside of their house. Trans people who violate the ordinance may be imprisoned for up to six months.
Alabama really wants to step up their game on North Carolina for worst state in the Union it seems. What a disgrace.
I've got mixed feelings about cis people getting caught in the crossfire here. On the one hand, it pretty effectively highlights that gender is a way more complicated subject than the icons on the bathroom doors would indicate, and will probably draw in a lot of people against these laws who would have otherwise been content to sit on the sidelines. On the other hand, it could lead to the impact of these laws being repealed getting diluted somewhat, if it's seen as more important to avoid inconveniencing cis people than actually making it about respecting trans people.
Realizing lately that I don't really trust or respect basically any of the moderators here. So, good luck with life, friends! Hit me up on Twitter @DesertLeviathan
Another showcase of how these bills attacks anyone who does not fall into gender norms.
Also how's male police dragging women in bathrooms for "males enacting violence in women's restrooms."
Yeah like
Horribly discriminatory against transgender people is bad enough
But the upshot of these kinds of laws is that every police officer is empowered to harass and humiliate anyone who fails to conform to their personal conception of gender
In theory these laws are disgusting and in practice they're somehow even worse
I totally agree and get that but I also have the feeling that unless cis people start getting caught in the crossfire not many cis people are going to give a shit.
I totally agree and get that but I also have the feeling that unless cis people start getting caught in the crossfire not many cis people are going to give a shit.
I'm weirded out by how that article felt the need to highlight that the woman in question was a lesbian
Posts
only 19 iirc
Steam | Twitter
not sure if it says something about me or the country that I figured on that number being a whole lot lower.
I wonder how that will go if it happens.
A list of things, should you be of the gifting persuasion
Right but so
My only experience is with medical and legal malpractice suits so again maybe this doesn't apply
But in both of those cases our lawyers worked for us for free, with the understanding that if and when we got awarded a settlement or damages we would owe them 30% of what we got
My understanding was that it's primarily defense attorneys that require payment up front
http://www.audioentropy.com/
well, way i see it you got, roughly three options. One, do make a big stink making sure to try to keep a level head so they can't throw that in your face, 2, If it is as bad as you hear find out who made the thing and report them to HR for discrimination and encourage any of your work friends to act likewise, or C) Start looking for a new place of employ because who boy this place sounds fucked up.
Actual HR people were great though. I talked with them afterwards and they were very nice and understanding. The actual bit of the meeting about trans rights wasn't the best but they said that they need to keep trans people's safety in mind. Another person attending said she didn't want someone who had "bought the parts" in with her who got them at birth and they said that was a very wrong way to refer to it.
Still not doing great in general.
Tumblr | Twitter PSN: misterdapper Av by Satellite_09
I'm sorry all of this happened.
like, i went to college for law enforcement, at one time that was where my career was going before whooooooops career-ending back injury
anyway one of the things my instructor used to say was that police really do need to be a higher standard of people
if your pizza guy fucks up, you get cold pizza or the wrong toppings. if your cab driver fucks up, you are late and it costs you more money to get to your destination. if a cop fucks up, people's lives get ruined and they can fucking die
so if a cop is racist or homophobic or transphobic or whatever, it's the fucking worst. it's way worse than a politician having those kinds of views, because while a politician potentially has the power to pass laws that can on a broad scale impact more people, on a direct level that one cop can destroy more lives with being a shitstain
i got a lot of buddies who are cops, because that was a social circle that i rolled in at one time and i got family who are in corrections and law enforcement. they're good dudes (or they wouldn't be my buddies) but jesus christ they got people in their lives who are complete fucking bastards
a buddy of mine who is a (Canadian) cop wrote a bit on his Facebook about HB2 and such a while back and how fucking garbage it is and how, even if a law that abominable gets created, ultimately it will be a toothless law if the police have the heart to stand up to it and refuse to enforce it (police refusal to enforce unjust laws is kind of a cultural thing in Canada, it's why pot is basically legal in BC and why safe shoot-up sites for heroin are a thing).
some buddies of his who are also cops pointed out that the grim reality is that unfortunately a lot of American cops will gleefully enforce these kinds of laws, they wholeheartedly support them. which is unfortunate, but true. what's worse, though, are some of the other people on his friends list who are also Canadian cops who basically came out in favor of these laws and were like "these laws should be enforced because pedophiles hurp a durrrr" and they got into a big Facebook argument. I ended up wading in at that point, only to have my opinion disregarded by those guys as a "civilian" (which caused one of the other cops to get real fucking mad because he's a vet and he gets mad fuckin salty when cops refer to non-cops as "civilians". police are civilians too by definition)
it was this huge row and it got ugly, my friend whose Facebook this happened on ended up unfriending a bunch of people over it and shit. I asked him if he worked with any of the worst of them and he was like yep, some of them are in my department. I asked if he was like, going to take that up with a supervisor or something and he's like nnnnnnope, that's a political opinion expressed on social media, that's protected, even if i don't care for it and think it's awful, that's their right.
The thing is in pretty sure she didn't know I was trans. She just assumed she was in company of people she could say that shit to and the second I spoke up she doubled down more.
Tumblr | Twitter PSN: misterdapper Av by Satellite_09
yeah that sounds right
when shitty people don't think they're in "mixed company" they will air all kinds of filthy laundry
it makes me so fucking angry because to the majority of people, i read as a straight white cis male, aka The Guy You Can Say Shit Around
so that's when people will be like "the fuckin' Jews m i rite?"
and i have to do the mental math of "do i want to make a thing out of the fact that I'm fucking Jewish right now?"
fortunately, for me, I have what I have come to call "escalation privilege"
I can pretty much fearlessly escalate any situation without a lot of concern, up to and including considering that it might get violent
this is pure, uncut privilege, other people don't have that necessarily
and even i have to weight how fucking tiring that can be and how much it's worth it to just nuke a social situation for myself
Yet mysteriously if you constantly misgendered them right back they'd get pretty sick of it in about 3 minutes
EDIT Not that I am advocating this because it's a quick route to confrontation that could get nasty, but DAMBIT, manners cost nothing.
that's fucking garbage
http://www.audioentropy.com/
It's a rad ass coat based on a video game. Which as someone who finds most gaming clothing super tatty feels weird.
I'm both scared and also excited, but I finally get to be a girl at work. Now to start figuring out how I'll be coming out on Facebook.
Switch Friend Code: SW-1406-1275-7906
Tumblr | Twitter PSN: misterdapper Av by Satellite_09
I mean it's a political cartoon, that the guy isn't literally labeled "transgender man" is an astounding level of restraint
Switch Friend Code: SW-1406-1275-7906
Ah yes
The Pee Trough
Yeah, those exist.
Alabama really wants to step up their game on North Carolina for worst state in the Union it seems. What a disgrace.
"It's ok, some of my best friends are black trans"!
Twitter
The entire logic of his "argument" fails from the get go: "Is it true that men can use the women's restroom?"
No, you dipshit, women are using the women's restroom.
His second position is far less complex: "Sometimes I get uncomfortable using the men's room"
OK! Then use the one that makes you feel comfortable. Don't do weird things, regardless of where you are, and everyone will be fine.
I can't fathom how this is hard to comprehend.
A list of things, should you be of the gifting persuasion
I am in shock and awe.
Another showcase of how these bills attacks anyone who does not fall into gender norms.
Also how's male police dragging women in bathrooms for "males enacting violence in women's restrooms."
Tumblr | Twitter PSN: misterdapper Av by Satellite_09
Yeah like
Horribly discriminatory against transgender people is bad enough
But the upshot of these kinds of laws is that every police officer is empowered to harass and humiliate anyone who fails to conform to their personal conception of gender
In theory these laws are disgusting and in practice they're somehow even worse
http://www.audioentropy.com/
Tumblr | Twitter PSN: misterdapper Av by Satellite_09
I'm weirded out by how that article felt the need to highlight that the woman in question was a lesbian
As if that is at all relevant
http://www.audioentropy.com/