I wouldn't hold it against anyone for ghosting on me because it's my preferred method of disengaging with strangers, myself. But I'm pretty sure I should never be considered a standard to live by, in terms of social interactions, so...
I wanna find a Meet Up once I'm done settling in! Find some more Canadians for all the good tax advice and hockey tips.
I'm at a week of living in the US and it's been really fun! Couple bouts of homesickness (this morning in particular wasn't easy) but everyone here has been nothing but kind, and my work has been alternating between super stressful and super exciting and I cannot wait to see how these projects turn out, you guys, because they are rad as hell
Are you allowed to tell us what you're working on?
Or have you and I missed it?
I wanna find a Meet Up once I'm done settling in! Find some more Canadians for all the good tax advice and hockey tips.
I'm at a week of living in the US and it's been really fun! Couple bouts of homesickness (this morning in particular wasn't easy) but everyone here has been nothing but kind, and my work has been alternating between super stressful and super exciting and I cannot wait to see how these projects turn out, you guys, because they are rad as hell
Are you allowed to tell us what you're working on?
Or have you and I missed it?
What are you working on?
She's building a gundam.
+8
Options
HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
If you've only exchanged a few messages, and you're not feeling it, I'd just unmatch. You are under no obligation to force yourself to turn something that isn't A Thing into A Thing.
Hacksaw on
+2
Options
PiptheFairFrequently not in boats.Registered Userregular
I wanna find a Meet Up once I'm done settling in! Find some more Canadians for all the good tax advice and hockey tips.
I'm at a week of living in the US and it's been really fun! Couple bouts of homesickness (this morning in particular wasn't easy) but everyone here has been nothing but kind, and my work has been alternating between super stressful and super exciting and I cannot wait to see how these projects turn out, you guys, because they are rad as hell
Are you allowed to tell us what you're working on?
Or have you and I missed it?
What are you working on?
I can't really get into specifics I don't think (until some of these projects get made, maybe), but the company is focused on human interaction and prototyping. I get to do some really crazy mechanical design and invent stuff that doesn't really exist yet, or at least in their current forms! I get to have a big say in the creative process! It's early, but so far seems like the dream job I didn't realize I wanted/needed until it fell into my lap. So needless to say I'm liking it quite a bit, even despite some sudden tight deadlines within my first week that has made things a bit scarier than they'd normally be. And my coworkers are all cool and have the same passion for making things that I do, just in different creative realms, so I already feel really welcome!
I wanna find a Meet Up once I'm done settling in! Find some more Canadians for all the good tax advice and hockey tips.
I'm at a week of living in the US and it's been really fun! Couple bouts of homesickness (this morning in particular wasn't easy) but everyone here has been nothing but kind, and my work has been alternating between super stressful and super exciting and I cannot wait to see how these projects turn out, you guys, because they are rad as hell
Are you allowed to tell us what you're working on?
Or have you and I missed it?
What are you working on?
She's building a gundam.
No wait new dream job I take everything I said back
I've found that a lot of people on OKCupid prefer communicating over Facebook (which is totally understandable given how crummy the native messenger is). I have also found that people's Facebooks are a much quicker way to get a feel for them as people than an online dating profile.
I've found that a lot of people on OKCupid prefer communicating over Facebook (which is totally understandable given how crummy the native messenger is). I have also found that people's Facebooks are a much quicker way to get a feel for them as people than an online dating profile.
For example, I have precious little content on Facebook, which is a pretty good summation of me as a person!
Stopping chatting before meeting up is fine, and especially if you've not been talking a shit ton (and even if you have, you haven't met the person)
That's not really ghosting even
Everyone does it, people do it to me and I've done it to them
(I will say I'm still bitter about that lady who I went on a date with, smooched, she responded to a text about a second date, and then I got ghosted uguu
but there are stories of people who have been dating someone for a while and then got ghosted which is ooooooof real bad)
I've found that a lot of people on OKCupid prefer communicating over Facebook (which is totally understandable given how crummy the native messenger is). I have also found that people's Facebooks are a much quicker way to get a feel for them as people than an online dating profile.
Weird. I didn't get any indication that people on OKC preferred facebook. I'd say most used the normal messaging function or texting. To be fair, I pretty much never got past date one with most of the women I chatted with on OKC, so no idea if later on that would be preferred.
I dunno, I'm sure it's not a global rule but most of the people I've chatted with have pretty quickly switched over to Facebook Messenger
I've found that a lot of people on OKCupid prefer communicating over Facebook (which is totally understandable given how crummy the native messenger is). I have also found that people's Facebooks are a much quicker way to get a feel for them as people than an online dating profile.
This is like the exact opposite of my feelings. Hold off letting anyone facebook me, until ive had an inperson conversation so i can give context to all my internet friends and potenially the last decade of my life
So like. It has been almost a week since I last tried to text this girl from OKC and I haven't heard from her either... (we chatted on like last Monday and I tried texting her again that Wednesday.)
Yes? Don't ghost, it's pretty awful. You definitely shouldn't stick with a date if you're not feeling it anymore, but at least tell them that.
Almost all the negative reactions in this thread to ghosting have been no-shows and such, that kind of ghosting really hurts and wastes people's time. Silence after exchanging messages isn't nearly the same thing.
Lady agreed to a second date for some mini gold tonight. I confirmed the time with her through text and she was like "changed my mind, don't think this'll work, etc" Sigh
Oh well. I guess I don't even have friends that like talking to me anymore. I should know better than to think anyone on a dating site would.
NO! Bad Uriel! You stop that self-pity right now, young man. You are a bona fide Cool Dude who deserves better friends and can absolutely find people who are interested in dating you.
I've had so many times with bad friend that acted like me texting then once or twice would be some kind of huge attack on their life and schedule even if they didn't respond. Fine until they need something and I'm expected to drop everything for them. Then they go back to not responding for months and accusing me of being the bad guy when I'm upset at the double standard.
It is hard not to carry that fear forward into trying to make new connections and friends. But I can't just hole up and expect to get over it that way.
Posts
it took a massive volume of messaging and swiping, all told, literally hundreds and hundreds of people
blerp
liiya please don't not secretly murder people anymore
Its not secret, you're all here!
I tend to prefer a simple "I don't think we'd work" and that's that
For now...
Are you allowed to tell us what you're working on?
Or have you and I missed it?
What are you working on?
Okay, yeah don't have to feel bad about ghosting at that point.
Maybe just unmatch and hope for the best?
In other news my ex visited me this morning in a dream, and confirmed that my happiness is a facade.
Monday's am I right???
She's building a gundam.
If you've only exchanged a few messages, and you're not feeling it, I'd just unmatch. You are under no obligation to force yourself to turn something that isn't A Thing into A Thing.
ohh yeah spoops away
I can't really get into specifics I don't think (until some of these projects get made, maybe), but the company is focused on human interaction and prototyping. I get to do some really crazy mechanical design and invent stuff that doesn't really exist yet, or at least in their current forms! I get to have a big say in the creative process! It's early, but so far seems like the dream job I didn't realize I wanted/needed until it fell into my lap. So needless to say I'm liking it quite a bit, even despite some sudden tight deadlines within my first week that has made things a bit scarier than they'd normally be. And my coworkers are all cool and have the same passion for making things that I do, just in different creative realms, so I already feel really welcome!
3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
No wait new dream job I take everything I said back
3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
For example, I have precious little content on Facebook, which is a pretty good summation of me as a person!
That's not really ghosting even
Everyone does it, people do it to me and I've done it to them
(I will say I'm still bitter about that lady who I went on a date with, smooched, she responded to a text about a second date, and then I got ghosted uguu
but there are stories of people who have been dating someone for a while and then got ghosted which is ooooooof real bad)
And yes
Indeed
(Just the statistics are not confidence inducing, esp when talking to others on their experiences
This raw data pls)
But yeah I know it's a numbers game just gotta keep at it (until I don't have to)
Chugga chugga choo choo
DATE TOMORROW THO HOPE ITS GOOD WE'LL SEE
I dunno, I'm sure it's not a global rule but most of the people I've chatted with have pretty quickly switched over to Facebook Messenger
@JoeUser
This is like the exact opposite of my feelings. Hold off letting anyone facebook me, until ive had an inperson conversation so i can give context to all my internet friends and potenially the last decade of my life
so he is a secret lizard person that devours children
or is he not.....???
Would it be weird to try one more time or what?
No? Ghost away, it's pretty standard.
Yes? Don't ghost, it's pretty awful. You definitely shouldn't stick with a date if you're not feeling it anymore, but at least tell them that.
Almost all the negative reactions in this thread to ghosting have been no-shows and such, that kind of ghosting really hurts and wastes people's time. Silence after exchanging messages isn't nearly the same thing.
NO! Bad Uriel! You stop that self-pity right now, young man. You are a bona fide Cool Dude who deserves better friends and can absolutely find people who are interested in dating you.
It is hard not to carry that fear forward into trying to make new connections and friends. But I can't just hole up and expect to get over it that way.
Same thing with all of you nerds.
Ghosting by just not responding to messages until they unmatch = assholish
Do the cool thing, not the assholish one. I find this rule works pretty well for most things besides internet dating too, actually.
Some people messaged me saying they hope I go again
thats odd and really nice
how nice! Humblebrag? Sorry if it is.