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Is this [Love]?

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    NeoTomaNeoToma Registered User regular
    exchange rates are always fluctuating but yeah that's about right

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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    i have again convinced a human to go on a date with me

    it took a massive volume of messaging and swiping, all told, literally hundreds and hundreds of people

    blerp

    Shazkar Shadowstorm on
    poo
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    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    Internet dating is a numbers game. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    I matched with a dude, we have exchanged a few words (Bumble) and now I'm like "hmm, not sure we'd work" what do? Is it bad to ghost?

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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    I matched with a dude, we have exchanged a few words (Bumble) and now I'm like "hmm, not sure we'd work" what do? Is it bad to ghost?

    liiya please don't not secretly murder people anymore

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    JarsJars Registered User regular
    it cooled off to 70 here and I am freezing. I might need to put on long pants

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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    I matched with a dude, we have exchanged a few words (Bumble) and now I'm like "hmm, not sure we'd work" what do? Is it bad to ghost?

    liiya please don't not secretly murder people anymore

    Its not secret, you're all here!

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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    on a more serious note, it is kinda tacky to just stop responding to somebody, but you don't really owe him anything

    I tend to prefer a simple "I don't think we'd work" and that's that

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    I matched with a dude, we have exchanged a few words (Bumble) and now I'm like "hmm, not sure we'd work" what do? Is it bad to ghost?

    liiya please don't not secretly murder people anymore

    Its not secret, you're all here!

    For now...

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    I wouldn't hold it against anyone for ghosting on me because it's my preferred method of disengaging with strangers, myself. But I'm pretty sure I should never be considered a standard to live by, in terms of social interactions, so...

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    We've had literally two sentences and I spotted something I'd not noticed in his profile (nothing bad, just different lifestyle).

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    chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    Cello wrote: »
    I wanna find a Meet Up once I'm done settling in! Find some more Canadians for all the good tax advice and hockey tips.

    I'm at a week of living in the US and it's been really fun! Couple bouts of homesickness (this morning in particular wasn't easy) but everyone here has been nothing but kind, and my work has been alternating between super stressful and super exciting and I cannot wait to see how these projects turn out, you guys, because they are rad as hell

    Are you allowed to tell us what you're working on?
    Or have you and I missed it?

    What are you working on?

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    We've had literally two sentences and I spotted something I'd not noticed in his profile (nothing bad, just different lifestyle).

    Okay, yeah don't have to feel bad about ghosting at that point.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    BillyIdleBillyIdle What does "katana" mean? It means "Japanese sword."Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    We've had literally two sentences and I spotted something I'd not noticed in his profile (nothing bad, just different lifestyle).

    Maybe just unmatch and hope for the best?


    In other news my ex visited me this morning in a dream, and confirmed that my happiness is a facade.

    Monday's am I right???

    PSN: BillyIdle_
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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    We've had literally two sentences and I spotted something I'd not noticed in his profile (nothing bad, just different lifestyle).

    Okay, yeah don't have to feel bad about ghosting at that point.

    <3 thank you friend, this is what I wanted to hear!

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    ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    chromdom wrote: »
    Cello wrote: »
    I wanna find a Meet Up once I'm done settling in! Find some more Canadians for all the good tax advice and hockey tips.

    I'm at a week of living in the US and it's been really fun! Couple bouts of homesickness (this morning in particular wasn't easy) but everyone here has been nothing but kind, and my work has been alternating between super stressful and super exciting and I cannot wait to see how these projects turn out, you guys, because they are rad as hell

    Are you allowed to tell us what you're working on?
    Or have you and I missed it?

    What are you working on?

    She's building a gundam.

    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
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    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited August 2016
    @Liiya

    If you've only exchanged a few messages, and you're not feeling it, I'd just unmatch. You are under no obligation to force yourself to turn something that isn't A Thing into A Thing.

    Hacksaw on
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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    We've had literally two sentences and I spotted something I'd not noticed in his profile (nothing bad, just different lifestyle).

    ohh yeah spoops away

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    CelloCello Registered User regular
    chromdom wrote: »
    Cello wrote: »
    I wanna find a Meet Up once I'm done settling in! Find some more Canadians for all the good tax advice and hockey tips.

    I'm at a week of living in the US and it's been really fun! Couple bouts of homesickness (this morning in particular wasn't easy) but everyone here has been nothing but kind, and my work has been alternating between super stressful and super exciting and I cannot wait to see how these projects turn out, you guys, because they are rad as hell

    Are you allowed to tell us what you're working on?
    Or have you and I missed it?

    What are you working on?

    I can't really get into specifics I don't think (until some of these projects get made, maybe), but the company is focused on human interaction and prototyping. I get to do some really crazy mechanical design and invent stuff that doesn't really exist yet, or at least in their current forms! I get to have a big say in the creative process! It's early, but so far seems like the dream job I didn't realize I wanted/needed until it fell into my lap. So needless to say I'm liking it quite a bit, even despite some sudden tight deadlines within my first week that has made things a bit scarier than they'd normally be. And my coworkers are all cool and have the same passion for making things that I do, just in different creative realms, so I already feel really welcome!

    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
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    CelloCello Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    chromdom wrote: »
    Cello wrote: »
    I wanna find a Meet Up once I'm done settling in! Find some more Canadians for all the good tax advice and hockey tips.

    I'm at a week of living in the US and it's been really fun! Couple bouts of homesickness (this morning in particular wasn't easy) but everyone here has been nothing but kind, and my work has been alternating between super stressful and super exciting and I cannot wait to see how these projects turn out, you guys, because they are rad as hell

    Are you allowed to tell us what you're working on?
    Or have you and I missed it?

    What are you working on?

    She's building a gundam.

    No wait new dream job I take everything I said back

    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    I've found that a lot of people on OKCupid prefer communicating over Facebook (which is totally understandable given how crummy the native messenger is). I have also found that people's Facebooks are a much quicker way to get a feel for them as people than an online dating profile.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    You can unmatch??

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    I've found that a lot of people on OKCupid prefer communicating over Facebook (which is totally understandable given how crummy the native messenger is). I have also found that people's Facebooks are a much quicker way to get a feel for them as people than an online dating profile.

    For example, I have precious little content on Facebook, which is a pretty good summation of me as a person!

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    Stopping chatting before meeting up is fine, and especially if you've not been talking a shit ton (and even if you have, you haven't met the person)

    That's not really ghosting even

    Everyone does it, people do it to me and I've done it to them

    (I will say I'm still bitter about that lady who I went on a date with, smooched, she responded to a text about a second date, and then I got ghosted uguu

    but there are stories of people who have been dating someone for a while and then got ghosted which is ooooooof real bad)

    poo
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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Internet dating is a numbers game. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

    And yes
    Indeed

    (Just the statistics are not confidence inducing, esp when talking to others on their experiences

    This raw data pls)

    But yeah I know it's a numbers game just gotta keep at it (until I don't have to)

    Chugga chugga choo choo


    DATE TOMORROW THO HOPE ITS GOOD WE'LL SEE

    poo
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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Kamiro wrote: »
    I've found that a lot of people on OKCupid prefer communicating over Facebook (which is totally understandable given how crummy the native messenger is). I have also found that people's Facebooks are a much quicker way to get a feel for them as people than an online dating profile.

    Weird. I didn't get any indication that people on OKC preferred facebook. I'd say most used the normal messaging function or texting. To be fair, I pretty much never got past date one with most of the women I chatted with on OKC, so no idea if later on that would be preferred.

    I dunno, I'm sure it's not a global rule but most of the people I've chatted with have pretty quickly switched over to Facebook Messenger

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    !!!

    @JoeUser

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    NeoTomaNeoToma Registered User regular
    I've found that a lot of people on OKCupid prefer communicating over Facebook (which is totally understandable given how crummy the native messenger is). I have also found that people's Facebooks are a much quicker way to get a feel for them as people than an online dating profile.

    This is like the exact opposite of my feelings. Hold off letting anyone facebook me, until ive had an inperson conversation so i can give context to all my internet friends and potenially the last decade of my life

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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    We've had literally two sentences and I spotted something I'd not noticed in his profile (nothing bad, just different lifestyle).

    so he is a secret lizard person that devours children

    or is he not.....???

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    SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Liiya I hope your internet dating stuff goes great! Any man would be incredibly lucky to be with you :)

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    So like. It has been almost a week since I last tried to text this girl from OKC and I haven't heard from her either... (we chatted on like last Monday and I tried texting her again that Wednesday.)

    Would it be weird to try one more time or what?

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    InfidelInfidel Heretic Registered User regular
    Have you set a date yet?

    No? Ghost away, it's pretty standard.

    Yes? Don't ghost, it's pretty awful. You definitely shouldn't stick with a date if you're not feeling it anymore, but at least tell them that.

    Almost all the negative reactions in this thread to ghosting have been no-shows and such, that kind of ghosting really hurts and wastes people's time. Silence after exchanging messages isn't nearly the same thing.

    OrokosPA.png
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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    I love this cool refreshing breeze

    poo
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    NotYouNotYou Registered User regular
    Lady agreed to a second date for some mini gold tonight. I confirmed the time with her through text and she was like "changed my mind, don't think this'll work, etc" Sigh

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    Oh well. I guess I don't even have friends that like talking to me anymore. I should know better than to think anyone on a dating site would.

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Uriel wrote: »
    Oh well. I guess I don't even have friends that like talking to me anymore. I should know better than to think anyone on a dating site would.

    NO! Bad Uriel! You stop that self-pity right now, young man. You are a bona fide Cool Dude who deserves better friends and can absolutely find people who are interested in dating you.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    I'm sorry. It is hard.
    I've had so many times with bad friend that acted like me texting then once or twice would be some kind of huge attack on their life and schedule even if they didn't respond. Fine until they need something and I'm expected to drop everything for them. Then they go back to not responding for months and accusing me of being the bad guy when I'm upset at the double standard.

    It is hard not to carry that fear forward into trying to make new connections and friends. But I can't just hole up and expect to get over it that way.

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    I wish you lived closer, Uriel. I'd hang out with you if you did!

    Same thing with all of you nerds.

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    WACriminalWACriminal Dying Is Easy, Young Man Living Is HarderRegistered User regular
    Ghosting by unmatching = cool

    Ghosting by just not responding to messages until they unmatch = assholish

    Do the cool thing, not the assholish one. I find this rule works pretty well for most things besides internet dating too, actually.

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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    I did the Meet Up meet up and it was good and nice.

    Some people messaged me saying they hope I go again

    thats odd and really nice

    how nice! Humblebrag? Sorry if it is.

This discussion has been closed.