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[LGBT] and friends: We All Float Down Here

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    DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    a year long wait for HRT is some real concern trolling bullshit from cis folk

    "but we want to make sure you REALLY want it"

    fuckers, the satisfaction rate for HRT is redonkers high

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    MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited May 2017
    Dubh wrote: »
    a year long wait for HRT is some real concern trolling bullshit from cis folk

    "but we want to make sure you REALLY want it"

    fuckers, the satisfaction rate for HRT is redonkers high

    Tbqh id start shopping for doctors who use the informed consent method

    Tube on
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    Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    My doc is of the informed consent kind and baller as hell. I love her.

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    TubeTube Registered User admin
    I would indeed prefer it if people did not suggest buying controlled substances on the black market.

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    MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Tube wrote: »
    I would indeed prefer it if people did not suggest buying controlled substances on the black market.

    I have no clue what you're talking about.

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    RainfallRainfall Registered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    a year long wait for HRT is some real concern trolling bullshit from cis folk

    "but we want to make sure you REALLY want it"

    fuckers, the satisfaction rate for HRT is redonkers high

    Yeah when she was talking about the wait for a psych referral I was all "fuuuuuuck" and then when she winked at me and told me she had a workaround I was all "yaaay!"

    So I should have Spiro at least by mid-july at the latest? Possibly sooner depending on if appointments open up.

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    TubeTube Registered User admin
    I think if you want a hormone treatment they should give you a full rundown of the risk factors and then let you fucking do it. If you end up hating the changes guess what, stop taking them.

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    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    There are so many things you can just walk in and do! The arbitrary hurdles and hoops for HRT is dumb.

    The most dumb.

    Also I am so full of EMOTIONS today I don't know what to do with myself.

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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    I was confused when a trans acquaintance of mine told me she was okay with the waiting period after she'd gone through her transition. She explained that she did worry about people just using it as an escape from reality and that having to jump through the hoops and take it slow forced them to live in that reality and gave them time to turn back if they weren't into it.

    I can honestly say that while I respected her position and she clearly should know more than trans stuff than I ever will, I just can't get behind a legal gatekeeping method even wrapped in those kinds of intentions. Like, advocate whatever process you think is best for people but don't defend this shit system. She's part of an older generation (uses 'transexual' as part of her identity) and I think that has got to play a big part of it. She did her time and struggled through it the hard way and it has gotta feel weird seeing a big push to soften up these rules and restrictions after it's too late for her to benefit from them. I kinda hope that's all it is because I feel like the benefits of letting people transition quicker has got to overpower whatever drawbacks by an incredible amount.

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    YukiraYukira Registered User regular
    There are so many things you can just walk in and do! The arbitrary hurdles and hoops for HRT is dumb.

    The most dumb.

    Also I am so full of EMOTIONS today I don't know what to do with myself.

    Get NieR Automata Ending E.

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    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Yukira wrote: »
    There are so many things you can just walk in and do! The arbitrary hurdles and hoops for HRT is dumb.

    The most dumb.

    Also I am so full of EMOTIONS today I don't know what to do with myself.

    Get NieR Automata Ending E.

    I'm working through B and this game is incredible and sad and I want all the robots to he happy ...

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    PsykomaPsykoma Registered User regular
    edited May 2017
    TankHammer wrote: »
    I was confused when a trans acquaintance of mine told me she was okay with the waiting period after she'd gone through her transition. She explained that she did worry about people just using it as an escape from reality and that having to jump through the hoops and take it slow forced them to live in that reality and gave them time to turn back if they weren't into it.

    I can honestly say that while I respected her position and she clearly should know more than trans stuff than I ever will, I just can't get behind a legal gatekeeping method even wrapped in those kinds of intentions. Like, advocate whatever process you think is best for people but don't defend this shit system. She's part of an older generation (uses 'transexual' as part of her identity) and I think that has got to play a big part of it. She did her time and struggled through it the hard way and it has gotta feel weird seeing a big push to soften up these rules and restrictions after it's too late for her to benefit from them. I kinda hope that's all it is because I feel like the benefits of letting people transition quicker has got to overpower whatever drawbacks by an incredible amount.

    "Got mine, fuck yours" is a real thing in the trans community, like in all communities.

    Psykoma on
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    MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Tube wrote: »
    I think if you want a hormone treatment they should give you a full rundown of the risk factors and then let you fucking do it. If you end up hating the changes guess what, stop taking them.

    That's informed consent and that's how I got my first scrip for hormones

    From planned Parenthood

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    MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Psykoma wrote: »
    TankHammer wrote: »
    I was confused when a trans acquaintance of mine told me she was okay with the waiting period after she'd gone through her transition. She explained that she did worry about people just using it as an escape from reality and that having to jump through the hoops and take it slow forced them to live in that reality and gave them time to turn back if they weren't into it.

    I can honestly say that while I respected her position and she clearly should know more than trans stuff than I ever will, I just can't get behind a legal gatekeeping method even wrapped in those kinds of intentions. Like, advocate whatever process you think is best for people but don't defend this shit system. She's part of an older generation (uses 'transexual' as part of her identity) and I think that has got to play a big part of it. She did her time and struggled through it the hard way and it has gotta feel weird seeing a big push to soften up these rules and restrictions after it's too late for her to benefit from them. I kinda hope that's all it is because I feel like the benefits of letting people transition quicker has got to overpower whatever drawbacks by an incredible amount.

    "Got mine, fuck yours" is a real thing in the trans community, like in all communities.

    I wanna punch those people in their goddamn faces

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    Care Free BombCare Free Bomb Registered User regular
    One of the facilitators of my support group is like that and I hate it. She goes on about how good trans people have it these days and in Canada in particular and she railroads discussion about transitioning to be about the one true path of hormones and then surgery. She asks some pretty invasive questions and she's very white which can get really uncomfortable like when she grilled the center's new employee about trans people in India when he came to just give a brief introduction and get some feedback.

    It's a shame because otherwise the group is fantastic and I wouldn't be surprised if she's scared people off from it.

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    Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    My step-dad got some test results back. Lung cancer. Docs are recommending chemo over surgery. I wish I knew what any of it meant. Apparently his case has caused quite a stir due to its unusual and unique specifics. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing tbh.

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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    A huge part of human psychology is wrapped around a mentality of "but I had to endure this bullshit, it's not fair that all these other people don't have to! They should have to do it too!"

    See also: hazing.

    A lot of gatekeeping bullshit, in a wide variety of contexts, sorta stems from that on some level. People who had to endure some serious fuckin' garbage to get where they are at think it's unfair that these other people can come along and seemingly gain access to this stuff that they feel like they had to earn through their suffering.

    And it's... trash? It's trash.

    It's garbage thinking.

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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User, Moderator mod
    My step-dad got some test results back. Lung cancer. Docs are recommending chemo over surgery. I wish I knew what any of it meant. Apparently his case has caused quite a stir due to its unusual and unique specifics. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing tbh.

    sorry to hear that Metzger :( hope he pulls through ok.

    BahamutZERO.gif
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    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    I had a long talk with a person at knitting group today. This person was AMAB and lived pretty much all of their life as a man, (they're about 70) but privately has always felt much more comfortable dressing and living as a woman. Since their wife died, they have been living as such more and more openly, as they find it easier to cope with the grief.

    The conversation came about because a while back they showed up presenting as a woman, and using a woman's name, but today they were presenting as a man so I asked how they wanted to be addressed. They replied that using their "male" name was fine with them since they weren't in "woman" mode.

    We then talked a lot about their model train hobby. I get the sense they don't have a lot of friends.

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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    PsycohedPsycohed On a Fool's ErrandRegistered User regular
    My doctor's great. Walked in, handed over a letter from my therapist, I think he glanced at it, and I had two bottles of pills waiting for me at the CVS 10 minutes later. Got back my first blood test results a month later, glanced at those, and he let me double my dosage of estradiol that same day. I love this town, and I wish I could share my doctor with everyone.

    It fucking infuriates me to see how often people get stonewalled or slowed down with this shit. "But you need to think this over!" What do you think I was doing every waking moment of my life beforehand?! Trust me. We've fucking given it the occasional stray thought.

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    MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    I had a long talk with a person at knitting group today. This person was AMAB and lived pretty much all of their life as a man, (they're about 70) but privately has always felt much more comfortable dressing and living as a woman. Since their wife died, they have been living as such more and more openly, as they find it easier to cope with the grief.

    The conversation came about because a while back they showed up presenting as a woman, and using a woman's name, but today they were presenting as a man so I asked how they wanted to be addressed. They replied that using their "male" name was fine with them since they weren't in "woman" mode.

    We then talked a lot about their model train hobby. I get the sense they don't have a lot of friends.

    We tend not to. Tell them we all say hi and hope they're doing well

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    Mx. QuillMx. Quill I now prefer "Myr. Quill", actually... {They/Them}Registered User regular
    Wait, they gave you your pills the same day as the blood work? I thought you have to have the results come back first before they'll prescribe HRT, or does it work differently if you have to get a letter instead of informed consent?

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    MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Wait, they gave you your pills the same day as the blood work? I thought you have to have the results come back first before they'll prescribe HRT, or does it work differently if you have to get a letter instead of informed consent?

    Oh shit they're just giving out hormones all Willy nilly!

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    Care Free BombCare Free Bomb Registered User regular
    Aw shit, I was catching up with some old friends and I found out someone who I was really close to but lost contact with is a transphobe

    I'm not happy about that

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    MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Aw shit, I was catching up with some old friends and I found out someone who I was really close to but lost contact with is a transphobe

    I'm not happy about that

    goddammit.

    One of my friends turned out to be that way once we reconnected after almost ten years

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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited May 2017
    Pony wrote: »
    A huge part of human psychology is wrapped around a mentality of "but I had to endure this bullshit, it's not fair that all these other people don't have to! They should have to do it too!"

    See also: hazing.

    See also: Truscum.

    I had the delight of getting into an argument with one such gal a while back.

    Their sole "argument" was spamming me with a pile of links to neuroscience medical research and a YouTube video of Robert Sapolsky discussing how neuroscience research has turned up evidence that gender identity comes from the brain.

    They would post this entire pile of data a total of three times, instead of make a single actual argument. She also called me a retard at one point.

    When I told her I had read it and it still didn't count as an argument, I was blocked.

    I totally saved the links and videos, though. That stuff is hella useful to have on hand when getting into discussions about this stuff.

    It's just that you need to have an actual argument for that stuff to have much use in a discussion.

    Also, here's that vid of Sapolsky. It's worth a watch! He uses some outdated language in it, but he talks about some really neat stuff.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Erexuu8PTo8

    Goatmon on
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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Official count of lgbt people killed by police in Chechnya is now at 26.

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    PoketpixiePoketpixie Siege Registered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Official count of lgbt people killed by police in Chechnya is now at 26.

    Dammit all.

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    Kane Red RobeKane Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    So there was a serious plumbing leak in my apartment today, making a mess for our downstairs neighbors. Office calls me and tells me to clear out my closet so the plumber can get in there to the little access hatch where the leaky pipe runs.

    But by the time I get home the plumber has already cleared stuff out of the way. Stuff like my dresses and skirts. and I come home, all flustered and male-presenting because they pulled me out of work. So I don't have to do anything for this plumber guy. And I leave because I have work to do back in the office dang it. Also I don't wanna sit around my apartment while he is there anyway.

    So yeah I guess I can add "random plumber guy" to the list of people I'm out to. -_-

    FWIW he seemed much more concerned with his work than my wardrobe. But I still wanna just die of embarrassment JFC.

    That sucks a bunch! If it helps at all though it's entirely likely he just figured they belonged to your girlfriend. Also I imagine he's​ had to move weirder shit out of people's closets before and was just relieved you didn't have a pile of sex toys back there.

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    El FantasticoEl Fantastico Toronto, ONRegistered User regular
    Sex toys.
    Black market snuff porn.
    Those weird "lifelike" dolls from some "Heritage Collection" that's always on the Home Shopping Network, the ones with the creepy faces.

    PSN: TheArcadeBear
    Steam: TheArcadeBear

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    Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    So there was a serious plumbing leak in my apartment today, making a mess for our downstairs neighbors. Office calls me and tells me to clear out my closet so the plumber can get in there to the little access hatch where the leaky pipe runs.

    But by the time I get home the plumber has already cleared stuff out of the way. Stuff like my dresses and skirts. and I come home, all flustered and male-presenting because they pulled me out of work. So I don't have to do anything for this plumber guy. And I leave because I have work to do back in the office dang it. Also I don't wanna sit around my apartment while he is there anyway.

    So yeah I guess I can add "random plumber guy" to the list of people I'm out to. -_-

    FWIW he seemed much more concerned with his work than my wardrobe. But I still wanna just die of embarrassment JFC.

    That sucks a bunch! If it helps at all though it's entirely likely he just figured they belonged to your girlfriend. Also I imagine he's​ had to move weirder shit out of people's closets before and was just relieved you didn't have a pile of sex toys back there.

    Yeah that's a good point: he's probably seen worse. But I'm real uncomfortable with people touching my stuff without my knowledge. Again, not his fault.

    Unfortunately I barely slept last night due to anxiety and it sucks big time. Seriously considering calling in to work...

    Also: store your sex toys in opaque plastic containers, people. Just in case.

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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Tbh if my landlord let someone in my apartment without me present or having consented ahead of time there would be absolute hell to pay.

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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    FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    Tbh if my landlord let someone in my apartment without me present or having consented ahead of time there would be absolute hell to pay.

    It is almost certainly in your lease that they can do that, especially for emergencies.

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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Fencingsax wrote: »
    Tox wrote: »
    Tbh if my landlord let someone in my apartment without me present or having consented ahead of time there would be absolute hell to pay.

    It is almost certainly in your lease that they can do that, especially for emergencies.

    I doubt it; that's against the law in most states. you HAVE to give 24 hours notice.

    if its an emergency then you need emergency personnel present when you do it

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    NarbusNarbus Registered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    Tbh if my landlord let someone in my apartment without me present or having consented ahead of time there would be absolute hell to pay.

    If there's water leaking out of your apartment, the landlord doesn't have a lot of choice, there.

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    RainfallRainfall Registered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Fencingsax wrote: »
    Tox wrote: »
    Tbh if my landlord let someone in my apartment without me present or having consented ahead of time there would be absolute hell to pay.

    It is almost certainly in your lease that they can do that, especially for emergencies.

    I doubt it; that's against the law in most states. you HAVE to give 24 hours notice.

    if its an emergency then you need emergency personnel present when you do it

    Every lease I've had has a clause allowing entry in the case of damage to neighboring apartments, but ymmv. It still absolutely sucks to have them go in, but if there was a leaking pipe they probably have the right.

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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Rainfall wrote: »
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Fencingsax wrote: »
    Tox wrote: »
    Tbh if my landlord let someone in my apartment without me present or having consented ahead of time there would be absolute hell to pay.

    It is almost certainly in your lease that they can do that, especially for emergencies.

    I doubt it; that's against the law in most states. you HAVE to give 24 hours notice.

    if its an emergency then you need emergency personnel present when you do it

    Every lease I've had has a clause allowing entry in the case of damage to neighboring apartments, but ymmv. It still absolutely sucks to have them go in, but if there was a leaking pipe they probably have the right.

    Depends on the state I'm sure but in Minnesota you can't even have that in the lease which honestly is kind of dumb.

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    Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    Tbh if my landlord let someone in my apartment without me present or having consented ahead of time there would be absolute hell to pay.

    They called me twice and let me know what was up. I consented to the plumber entering the first time. The second time the call made it seem like the plumber wasn't allowed to move my stuff but whether or not he is... he did anyways.

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    WeedLordVegetaWeedLordVegeta Registered User regular
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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Fencingsax wrote: »
    Tox wrote: »
    Tbh if my landlord let someone in my apartment without me present or having consented ahead of time there would be absolute hell to pay.

    It is almost certainly in your lease that they can do that, especially for emergencies.

    I doubt it; that's against the law in most states. you HAVE to give 24 hours notice.

    if its an emergency then you need emergency personnel present when you do it

    Law or no, they're not going to just let a water main leak go for 24 hours until you consent and, quite frankly, it would be bullshit if they did. One person's privacy rights don't override the safety or property of the entire building. If you're the person whose apartment is being leaked into would YOU be willing to wait 24 hours because they couldn't get permission from your neighbor to access their apartment?

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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