I'll be talking about how to ask about gender in surveys and questionnaires. My approach is basically 'What is your gender?' and a free text field, but I'll have to think about cases where, for example, large scale quant data is collected. If anyone has any resources, I'd love to hear about them - there's little in the way of proper best practice out there. Otherwise I'll be consulting with trans and intersex advocates to make sure I'm not talking out of my butt.
It's funny, they'd contacted me a few months back and encouraged me to consider doing a talk, so I put in a submission and never heard anything back. Then they released the program yesterday and I'm on it, so woo?
I've done surveys where we left an empty text field and the only problem was junk replies.
Yeah, I anticipate that'll be the #1 objection. I've seen it even happen on paper surveys with cultural background questions where there's only an open text field.
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
I don't wanna keep gunking up the thread with my own shit but I like posting here and I trust y'all and this is a very supportive and friendly and safe place, so.
My step-dad apparently has a 1/100 shot at making it out of his lung cancer. And I just don't know what is going to happen and I'm so scared. Mostly for my mom. I'm worried about my step-dad of course, but she's my mama, you know? And I can't do shot to help her feel better because how the fuck is anyone supposed to feel better about fuckin any of this?
Fuck lung cancer.
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MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
I've got a re-evaluation coming up for my ptsd. keep your fingers crossed for more money
Going over to my parents house where my aunts are visiting. I would like to have a discussion with my dad about the whole trans thing but he won't do it with them around, even if we go on a walk alone (also will not have the talk on the phone or in a restaurant. Starting to get reminiscent of "green eggs and ham" here. The talk literally just being me making sure that he gets what's going on, cause I'm not sure he's clued into gender diversity really.) Last thing I heard from my mom on the topic is not to mention it to my aunts cause she doesn't want it to be the topic of discussion during their vacation this weekend. I see my aunts maybe once every couple of years; seems like it would be a good talk to have now rather than later, but all right.
Man, we are lefty Jews, time to stop acting like stereotypically repressed WASPs, don't you think? It seems probably a bit ridiculous to an outside observer but it makes me angry and uneasy.
My wife has made headway with the company she works for (a privately owned laser eye surgery place) re: gender on their intake
forms
Since she started there, a section on being pregnant or potentially becoming pregnant was on the forms but listed as "for women" so that "men" could ignore.
And she was like uhhhhh I have patients who are trans and stuff do we need to put gender on this?
Like pregnancy does change the shape of your eye (pregnancy is WEIRD) so it's super relevant to laser eye surgery intake if you are or could become pregnant but that's independent of gender could we treat it as such?
And the company is now going to look at adjusting their forms as well as having gender on the forms in general allow for NB options
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MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
My wife has made headway with the company she works for (a privately owned laser eye surgery place) re: gender on their intake
forms
Since she started there, a section on being pregnant or potentially becoming pregnant was on the forms but listed as "for women" so that "men" could ignore.
And she was like uhhhhh I have patients who are trans and stuff do we need to put gender on this?
Like pregnancy does change the shape of your eye (pregnancy is WEIRD) so it's super relevant to laser eye surgery intake if you are or could become pregnant but that's independent of gender could we treat it as such?
And the company is now going to look at adjusting their forms as well as having gender on the forms in general allow for NB options
Yeah I wish I had known about the effects of estrogen on the human eyeball before I got lasik
My wife has made headway with the company she works for (a privately owned laser eye surgery place) re: gender on their intake
forms
Since she started there, a section on being pregnant or potentially becoming pregnant was on the forms but listed as "for women" so that "men" could ignore.
And she was like uhhhhh I have patients who are trans and stuff do we need to put gender on this?
Like pregnancy does change the shape of your eye (pregnancy is WEIRD) so it's super relevant to laser eye surgery intake if you are or could become pregnant but that's independent of gender could we treat it as such?
And the company is now going to look at adjusting their forms as well as having gender on the forms in general allow for NB options
Yeah I wish I had known about the effects of estrogen on the human eyeball before I got lasik
Yeah my wife's clinic gets into this with trans patients (or anyone else on hormones)
A wide variety of different medications and medical conditions can alter the shape of your eye and the folk shootin your eye with the laser beams gotta know that to compensate
And sometimes unfortunately it means you should probably hold off gettin pew pew'd in the eye until a certain point when your eye stops googlin about from it
This is 100% medical terminology that would not make my wife angry
Going over to my parents house where my aunts are visiting. I would like to have a discussion with my dad about the whole trans thing but he won't do it with them around, even if we go on a walk alone (also will not have the talk on the phone or in a restaurant. Starting to get reminiscent of "green eggs and ham" here. The talk literally just being me making sure that he gets what's going on, cause I'm not sure he's clued into gender diversity really.) Last thing I heard from my mom on the topic is not to mention it to my aunts cause she doesn't want it to be the topic of discussion during their vacation this weekend. I see my aunts maybe once every couple of years; seems like it would be a good talk to have now rather than later, but all right.
Man, we are lefty Jews, time to stop acting like stereotypically repressed WASPs, don't you think? It seems probably a bit ridiculous to an outside observer but it makes me angry and uneasy.
Fuck what other people tell you to do. If you think it's the right time to tell them, then tell them
The first time I met my fiancé's (then boyfriend) family was when we went to their usual vacation spot (of like 40 years) and after like the fourth person they introduced me to I told him "if your parents introduce me as your friend one more fucking time..." so from then on he cut them off to introduce me as his boyfriend
Funny thing!: literally no one gave a shit. His parents were the only ones that cared
Just got caught up on the new season of Twin Peaks. Very, very happy with the one short scene they did with Denise. Might have cried juuuust a little over it. I don't even care if she doesn't show up in another episode, seeing
David Lynch basically turn to the camera and tell anyone who isn't cool with transwomen to "change their hearts or die"
is basically the highlight of my entire fucking year.
Going over to my parents house where my aunts are visiting. I would like to have a discussion with my dad about the whole trans thing but he won't do it with them around, even if we go on a walk alone (also will not have the talk on the phone or in a restaurant. Starting to get reminiscent of "green eggs and ham" here. The talk literally just being me making sure that he gets what's going on, cause I'm not sure he's clued into gender diversity really.) Last thing I heard from my mom on the topic is not to mention it to my aunts cause she doesn't want it to be the topic of discussion during their vacation this weekend. I see my aunts maybe once every couple of years; seems like it would be a good talk to have now rather than later, but all right.
Man, we are lefty Jews, time to stop acting like stereotypically repressed WASPs, don't you think? It seems probably a bit ridiculous to an outside observer but it makes me angry and uneasy.
Fuck what other people tell you to do. If you think it's the right time to tell them, then tell them
The first time I met my fiancé's (then boyfriend) family was when we went to their usual vacation spot (of like 40 years) and after like the fourth person they introduced me to I told him "if your parents introduce me as your friend one more fucking time..." so from then on he cut them off to introduce me as his boyfriend
Funny thing!: literally no one gave a shit. His parents were the only ones that cared
It's your life and your situation and you do you
...I didn't tell them and I'm just sort of frustrated and annoyed; and my dad gave me a ride to the metro to head back home and I'm like "so when are we going to talk about this" and he's like "let me check my schedule" jfc it is not that hard and it wouldn't have been hard to talk in the car or to park the car and talk a bit.
And whatever, I suppose there's no reason to talk about it now before I've started doing anything physical, since I'm doing things on a slow time schedule, to hopefully give my husband time to figure out how to deal--but...well. I'm frustrated, I guess. I think it would have been useful information to convey to my relatives in person.
Now I'm going to spend an hour on the metro fuming and then play angry video games half the night, I guess.
Steam, LoL: credeiki
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Garlic Breadi'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm aRegistered User, Disagreeableregular
Going over to my parents house where my aunts are visiting. I would like to have a discussion with my dad about the whole trans thing but he won't do it with them around, even if we go on a walk alone (also will not have the talk on the phone or in a restaurant. Starting to get reminiscent of "green eggs and ham" here. The talk literally just being me making sure that he gets what's going on, cause I'm not sure he's clued into gender diversity really.) Last thing I heard from my mom on the topic is not to mention it to my aunts cause she doesn't want it to be the topic of discussion during their vacation this weekend. I see my aunts maybe once every couple of years; seems like it would be a good talk to have now rather than later, but all right.
Man, we are lefty Jews, time to stop acting like stereotypically repressed WASPs, don't you think? It seems probably a bit ridiculous to an outside observer but it makes me angry and uneasy.
Fuck what other people tell you to do. If you think it's the right time to tell them, then tell them
The first time I met my fiancé's (then boyfriend) family was when we went to their usual vacation spot (of like 40 years) and after like the fourth person they introduced me to I told him "if your parents introduce me as your friend one more fucking time..." so from then on he cut them off to introduce me as his boyfriend
Funny thing!: literally no one gave a shit. His parents were the only ones that cared
It's your life and your situation and you do you
...I didn't tell them and I'm just sort of frustrated and annoyed; and my dad gave me a ride to the metro to head back home and I'm like "so when are we going to talk about this" and he's like "let me check my schedule" jfc it is not that hard and it wouldn't have been hard to talk in the car or to park the car and talk a bit.
And whatever, I suppose there's no reason to talk about it now before I've started doing anything physical, since I'm doing things on a slow time schedule, to hopefully give my husband time to figure out how to deal--but...well. I'm frustrated, I guess. I think it would have been useful information to convey to my relatives in person.
Now I'm going to spend an hour on the metro fuming and then play angry video games half the night, I guess.
Don't ask your dad when is a good time to talk. Sit him down and say you're talking right now, even if you just go "I'm gonna say my piece and you can respond when you're ready"
Any time I get into a fight with my fiancé, he shuts down saying he has to think on things before we talk, so I give him time and just destroy myself with anxiety for a day or two. The last time he said it I said "no, we're gonna talk this out right now. We're both upset, maybe not thinking clearly and will say things we don't want to, but we can apologize for them later because we need to say it". That was a few months ago and it really helped out my anxiety
Going over to my parents house where my aunts are visiting. I would like to have a discussion with my dad about the whole trans thing but he won't do it with them around, even if we go on a walk alone (also will not have the talk on the phone or in a restaurant. Starting to get reminiscent of "green eggs and ham" here. The talk literally just being me making sure that he gets what's going on, cause I'm not sure he's clued into gender diversity really.) Last thing I heard from my mom on the topic is not to mention it to my aunts cause she doesn't want it to be the topic of discussion during their vacation this weekend. I see my aunts maybe once every couple of years; seems like it would be a good talk to have now rather than later, but all right.
Man, we are lefty Jews, time to stop acting like stereotypically repressed WASPs, don't you think? It seems probably a bit ridiculous to an outside observer but it makes me angry and uneasy.
Fuck what other people tell you to do. If you think it's the right time to tell them, then tell them
The first time I met my fiancé's (then boyfriend) family was when we went to their usual vacation spot (of like 40 years) and after like the fourth person they introduced me to I told him "if your parents introduce me as your friend one more fucking time..." so from then on he cut them off to introduce me as his boyfriend
Funny thing!: literally no one gave a shit. His parents were the only ones that cared
It's your life and your situation and you do you
...I didn't tell them and I'm just sort of frustrated and annoyed; and my dad gave me a ride to the metro to head back home and I'm like "so when are we going to talk about this" and he's like "let me check my schedule" jfc it is not that hard and it wouldn't have been hard to talk in the car or to park the car and talk a bit.
And whatever, I suppose there's no reason to talk about it now before I've started doing anything physical, since I'm doing things on a slow time schedule, to hopefully give my husband time to figure out how to deal--but...well. I'm frustrated, I guess. I think it would have been useful information to convey to my relatives in person.
Now I'm going to spend an hour on the metro fuming and then play angry video games half the night, I guess.
Don't ask your dad when is a good time to talk. Sit him down and say you're talking right now, even if you just go "I'm gonna say my piece and you can respond when you're ready"
Any time I get into a fight with my fiancé, he shuts down saying he has to think on things before we talk, so I give him time and just destroy myself with anxiety for a day or two. The last time he said it I said "no, we're gonna talk this out right now. We're both upset, maybe not thinking clearly and will say things we don't want to, but we can apologize for them later because we need to say it". That was a few months ago and it really helped out my anxiety
Yeah, you're right. My own reluctance to go visit my parents (I live in dc; they live in va at the end of the orange line) plays into this, and yeah...ok that sort of laziness is both reasonable because it's an hour each way and I don't want to, and obviously indicative of my worry of facing rejection or some other weirdness from my dad. So...yeah, I should just make sure they'll be in and then just show up and force the conversation; it's true.
Steam, LoL: credeiki
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MrMonroepassed outon the floor nowRegistered Userregular
I'll be talking about how to ask about gender in surveys and questionnaires. My approach is basically 'What is your gender?' and a free text field, but I'll have to think about cases where, for example, large scale quant data is collected. If anyone has any resources, I'd love to hear about them - there's little in the way of proper best practice out there. Otherwise I'll be consulting with trans and intersex advocates to make sure I'm not talking out of my butt.
It's funny, they'd contacted me a few months back and encouraged me to consider doing a talk, so I put in a submission and never heard anything back. Then they released the program yesterday and I'm on it, so woo?
I've done surveys where we left an empty text field and the only problem was junk replies.
If this is an intro form where you want to get the person's self-identification for purposes of having a conversation with them, open text is perfect.
If you are trying to create some structured data on the question to do descriptive statistics, open text is a god damn nightmare. You do not want to be the person who has to manually correct or categorize 'male' and 'mlae' to 'Male', and in this instance you would end up also taking on the unenviable job of adjudicating non-obvious answers into categories you've defined for the purpose of the statistics.
If I were building this question for a large-scale survey, I'd start by grabbing 100 participants randomly and giving them the open text version. From their responses, create categories for a multi-pick list that you believe would allow at least 90% of respondents to answer the question without making use of an "other" box, and review responses to your survey on a regular basis (if it's ongoing) to make sure your categories are still effective. (There are definitely some orgs that have done this already internally with varying degrees of discipline but I'm not sure there's a public "standard")
You might also send Lambda Legal a note asking if they have any resources on how to construct these types of questions for the purposes of screening employees or other purposes where you're worried about non-discrimination laws.
Going over to my parents house where my aunts are visiting. I would like to have a discussion with my dad about the whole trans thing but he won't do it with them around, even if we go on a walk alone (also will not have the talk on the phone or in a restaurant. Starting to get reminiscent of "green eggs and ham" here. The talk literally just being me making sure that he gets what's going on, cause I'm not sure he's clued into gender diversity really.) Last thing I heard from my mom on the topic is not to mention it to my aunts cause she doesn't want it to be the topic of discussion during their vacation this weekend. I see my aunts maybe once every couple of years; seems like it would be a good talk to have now rather than later, but all right.
Man, we are lefty Jews, time to stop acting like stereotypically repressed WASPs, don't you think? It seems probably a bit ridiculous to an outside observer but it makes me angry and uneasy.
Fuck what other people tell you to do. If you think it's the right time to tell them, then tell them
The first time I met my fiancé's (then boyfriend) family was when we went to their usual vacation spot (of like 40 years) and after like the fourth person they introduced me to I told him "if your parents introduce me as your friend one more fucking time..." so from then on he cut them off to introduce me as his boyfriend
Funny thing!: literally no one gave a shit. His parents were the only ones that cared
It's your life and your situation and you do you
...I didn't tell them and I'm just sort of frustrated and annoyed; and my dad gave me a ride to the metro to head back home and I'm like "so when are we going to talk about this" and he's like "let me check my schedule" jfc it is not that hard and it wouldn't have been hard to talk in the car or to park the car and talk a bit.
And whatever, I suppose there's no reason to talk about it now before I've started doing anything physical, since I'm doing things on a slow time schedule, to hopefully give my husband time to figure out how to deal--but...well. I'm frustrated, I guess. I think it would have been useful information to convey to my relatives in person.
Now I'm going to spend an hour on the metro fuming and then play angry video games half the night, I guess.
Don't ask your dad when is a good time to talk. Sit him down and say you're talking right now, even if you just go "I'm gonna say my piece and you can respond when you're ready"
Any time I get into a fight with my fiancé, he shuts down saying he has to think on things before we talk, so I give him time and just destroy myself with anxiety for a day or two. The last time he said it I said "no, we're gonna talk this out right now. We're both upset, maybe not thinking clearly and will say things we don't want to, but we can apologize for them later because we need to say it". That was a few months ago and it really helped out my anxiety
Yeah, you're right. My own reluctance to go visit my parents (I live in dc; they live in va at the end of the orange line) plays into this, and yeah...ok that sort of laziness is both reasonable because it's an hour each way and I don't want to, and obviously indicative of my worry of facing rejection or some other weirdness from my dad. So...yeah, I should just make sure they'll be in and then just show up and force the conversation; it's true.
Don't do anything you're not comfortable doing, but at the same time don't worry about their comfort. It's not about them, it's about you
I know that can feel selfish, because I put fuckin' everyone before me, but at the end of the day it's a milestone for you and a step for everyone else
I'll be talking about how to ask about gender in surveys and questionnaires. My approach is basically 'What is your gender?' and a free text field, but I'll have to think about cases where, for example, large scale quant data is collected. If anyone has any resources, I'd love to hear about them - there's little in the way of proper best practice out there. Otherwise I'll be consulting with trans and intersex advocates to make sure I'm not talking out of my butt.
It's funny, they'd contacted me a few months back and encouraged me to consider doing a talk, so I put in a submission and never heard anything back. Then they released the program yesterday and I'm on it, so woo?
I've done surveys where we left an empty text field and the only problem was junk replies.
If this is an intro form where you want to get the person's self-identification for purposes of having a conversation with them, open text is perfect.
If you are trying to create some structured data on the question to do descriptive statistics, open text is a god damn nightmare. You do not want to be the person who has to manually correct or categorize 'male' and 'mlae' to 'Male', and in this instance you would end up also taking on the unenviable job of adjudicating non-obvious answers into categories you've defined for the purpose of the statistics.
If I were building this question for a large-scale survey, I'd start by grabbing 100 participants randomly and giving them the open text version. From their responses, create categories for a multi-pick list that you believe would allow at least 90% of respondents to answer the question without making use of an "other" box, and review responses to your survey on a regular basis (if it's ongoing) to make sure your categories are still effective. (There are definitely some orgs that have done this already internally with varying degrees of discipline but I'm not sure there's a public "standard")
You might also send Lambda Legal a note asking if they have any resources on how to construct these types of questions for the purposes of screening employees or other purposes where you're worried about non-discrimination laws.
Thanks! I'd had a skim of the Williams Institute report previously and only just had a slightly deeper skim. I've seen their suggested promising measure in use and also criticised before. We have a different set of state and federal anti-discrimination laws over where I am, but I'll be sure to encourage people to check with the appropriate agencies that they're acting lawfully - which they should be doing anyway as a matter of course.
I like the 100 participants idea coupled with 'Other' and 'Prefer not to say' options. It's one of those things where you try to find that mythical sweet spot that balances participant comfort, inclusive language, data validity and also not having 20 options.
We recently got a query at work about this and the advice I was cleared to give (along with the usual disclaimers plus recommendations to periodically review this and really think about whether you need to collect that data) was 'Blank box if possible, otherwise female/male/non-binary/agender/other/prefer not to say options'. But there's always room to improve.
As someone who is also Non-binary.. I think Rime is cool but I wish like... I dunno. I also find there to be a big difference between just not stating someones gender in Media and leaving it up to the viewer to imprint (especially when they're a kid) and having an explicitly non-binary character. it's a very very videogame thing to do, to make it so that the player can feel like they are the player character. I also find stuff like that... Like. If you need to read something thats not in the game I.e. the director saying stuff about it, to get that the character is EXPLICITLY non-binary, then thats not really part of the media? Like Dumbledore only being gay if you read what she said after it's all published. its really nice! Its a nice thought! But if its not in the actual media...
I mean, thats not a bad thing!! I think its a very very good thing. And I haven't played the game yet. I guess I should?? is it good???
But i'll give way more credit to media that has really good explicit non-binary representation, like Tyler Mason in Billions WHICH I ACTUALLY HAVENT WATCHED
more importantly has anyone seen Billions??
Is it actually good?? Should I watch it?? I'm kind of crazy excited to actually fucking see a non-binary character in a tv show but i'm also terrified it will be bad!!
also also ah i'm really excited now, I saw them talking about awards and etc and how frustrating it is for them to be constantly shoehorned into best actor/actress for awards shows and shit and I felt really terrible for having never realized how fucking frustrating that must be to have to pick a category to get recognition for your work from your peers.
there's something about segregating acting rewards by gender that's a bit bizarre and feels like a holdover, but also i can't help but suspect that without the separation actresses would never get awarded at the big shows
a tv show made me super sad about not seeing my family so i'm planning a trip back home to see them
i'm gonna take my gf with me for the first time ever.
It's. Uh. So, my dads met her and spent time with us. But when my mother had a mini-disowning me a year and a bit ago... Well. I'm worried, especially considering shes a drug addict(+other addictions) that shes just going to sort of wreck shit. Like, I want to come home to visit my dad who I love and who comes to visit me, it just sucks having to see my mom honestly, and I don't want her to be awful to my partner.
bleh
That's real rough. Hope you get stuff worked out! Is flying him to you or both of you meeting in some cool in between place and all doing touristy things together an option?
Sorry for not replying sooner...
He's flown to somewhere inbetween us a lot, and its been great. But like, I feel bad with him always coming to visit me. And I've been feeling like a terrible kid for running away. My parents are pretty old so I feel like I've abandoned them, well, him. But it was too mentally distressing and emotionally draining to be there, I had to get the fuck away and my life has improved 100x for being able to not be there. But yeah. So over the past years we've done lots of cool stuff with him having to fly, and then me flying back a few days for Christmas. But it's always felt really one sided with him having to put forth the effort.
I just hope my mom doesn't come along for the like, 7 day mountain-hiking-car-trip adventure. I don't want to put my partner through her acting like a child. Blaargh. It's always really hard for me whenever anyone here or in other internet places talks really casually about pot/drugs because of what it's done to my family. And like, I know it's not drugs fault and its probably possible to have a healthy relationship with drugs, but fuck, its really really hard to not correlate the two. And I dread my partner being trapped in a house with my mother who's high all the time and saying fucking horrible things about everyone else, while then turning around and spitting acid against us for being gay and ruining her life. I can deal with it now, though it does crush me, but her family is so fucking supportive I think it'll be quite a fucking stark difference. At least my dads really cool.
So in neat news today me and my mom went shopping for those sweet memorial day deals. I got a super cute skirt and top combo that has the added benefit of being so incredibly comfortable! (It's like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!)
Also got a pair of denim knee length shorts on my inevitable journey towards getting hot pants.
It is much less awkward to shop for lady clothes when you're in a group. (Although I think the noun for a group of ladies should be 'pack' as in 'a pack of ladies' personally.)
Gundi on
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MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
White nationalists are planning a big rally in Portland. Two people were killed yesterday trying to protect two muslim women from being harassed by a nazi. He cut their throats.
Today I am wearing a corset for the first time. I hope this will help in reshaping my body. This is going to take a lot of getting used to. If anything I'm going to have the best posture of anyone on the planet.
Artoria on
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MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
Today I am wearing a corset for the first time. I hope this will help in reshaping my body. This is going to take a lot of getting used to. If anything I'm going to have the best posture of anyone on the planet.
Pace yourself and you'll do fine. Waist training isn't nearly as harmful or as painful as people make it out to be if you do it correctly
Or as one of my friends described it, 'getting reverse Superman-ed'.
Uhhhhhhhh excuse you.
That is, in fact, not reverse superman at all.
Superbro used his eye lasers to zap a telepathic's brain so that his powers wouldn't work for a while, by firing through the dude's eyeballs like a laser scalpel, in action comics #775.
Or as one of my friends described it, 'getting reverse Superman-ed'.
Uhhhhhhhh excuse you.
That is, in fact, not reverse superman at all.
Superbro used his eye lasers to zap a telepathic's brain so that his powers wouldn't work for a while, by firing through the dude's eyeballs like a laser scalpel, in action comics #775.
*pushes up glasses*
In my defense, it was a friend who said this, not me. I'm sure they'll appreciate me passing on the correction.
White nationalists are planning a big rally in Portland. Two people were killed yesterday trying to protect two muslim women from being harassed by a nazi. He cut their throats.
Is that what happened at one of the Max station stops?
Posts
I'll be talking about how to ask about gender in surveys and questionnaires. My approach is basically 'What is your gender?' and a free text field, but I'll have to think about cases where, for example, large scale quant data is collected. If anyone has any resources, I'd love to hear about them - there's little in the way of proper best practice out there. Otherwise I'll be consulting with trans and intersex advocates to make sure I'm not talking out of my butt.
It's funny, they'd contacted me a few months back and encouraged me to consider doing a talk, so I put in a submission and never heard anything back. Then they released the program yesterday and I'm on it, so woo?
Yeah, I anticipate that'll be the #1 objection. I've seen it even happen on paper surveys with cultural background questions where there's only an open text field.
My step-dad apparently has a 1/100 shot at making it out of his lung cancer. And I just don't know what is going to happen and I'm so scared. Mostly for my mom. I'm worried about my step-dad of course, but she's my mama, you know? And I can't do shot to help her feel better because how the fuck is anyone supposed to feel better about fuckin any of this?
Fuck lung cancer.
Fuck lung cancer indeed, and again, there is very little that I can really do or say other than...
*more big supportive hugs*
Also, fingers crossed for you Emby.
Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
Half alive in a whitecap foam
Half in love with a white half moon
Man, we are lefty Jews, time to stop acting like stereotypically repressed WASPs, don't you think? It seems probably a bit ridiculous to an outside observer but it makes me angry and uneasy.
forms
Since she started there, a section on being pregnant or potentially becoming pregnant was on the forms but listed as "for women" so that "men" could ignore.
And she was like uhhhhh I have patients who are trans and stuff do we need to put gender on this?
Like pregnancy does change the shape of your eye (pregnancy is WEIRD) so it's super relevant to laser eye surgery intake if you are or could become pregnant but that's independent of gender could we treat it as such?
And the company is now going to look at adjusting their forms as well as having gender on the forms in general allow for NB options
Yeah I wish I had known about the effects of estrogen on the human eyeball before I got lasik
Yeah my wife's clinic gets into this with trans patients (or anyone else on hormones)
A wide variety of different medications and medical conditions can alter the shape of your eye and the folk shootin your eye with the laser beams gotta know that to compensate
And sometimes unfortunately it means you should probably hold off gettin pew pew'd in the eye until a certain point when your eye stops googlin about from it
This is 100% medical terminology that would not make my wife angry
3DS: 1607-3034-6970
Fuck what other people tell you to do. If you think it's the right time to tell them, then tell them
The first time I met my fiancé's (then boyfriend) family was when we went to their usual vacation spot (of like 40 years) and after like the fourth person they introduced me to I told him "if your parents introduce me as your friend one more fucking time..." so from then on he cut them off to introduce me as his boyfriend
Funny thing!: literally no one gave a shit. His parents were the only ones that cared
It's your life and your situation and you do you
...I didn't tell them and I'm just sort of frustrated and annoyed; and my dad gave me a ride to the metro to head back home and I'm like "so when are we going to talk about this" and he's like "let me check my schedule" jfc it is not that hard and it wouldn't have been hard to talk in the car or to park the car and talk a bit.
And whatever, I suppose there's no reason to talk about it now before I've started doing anything physical, since I'm doing things on a slow time schedule, to hopefully give my husband time to figure out how to deal--but...well. I'm frustrated, I guess. I think it would have been useful information to convey to my relatives in person.
Now I'm going to spend an hour on the metro fuming and then play angry video games half the night, I guess.
Don't ask your dad when is a good time to talk. Sit him down and say you're talking right now, even if you just go "I'm gonna say my piece and you can respond when you're ready"
Any time I get into a fight with my fiancé, he shuts down saying he has to think on things before we talk, so I give him time and just destroy myself with anxiety for a day or two. The last time he said it I said "no, we're gonna talk this out right now. We're both upset, maybe not thinking clearly and will say things we don't want to, but we can apologize for them later because we need to say it". That was a few months ago and it really helped out my anxiety
Yeah, you're right. My own reluctance to go visit my parents (I live in dc; they live in va at the end of the orange line) plays into this, and yeah...ok that sort of laziness is both reasonable because it's an hour each way and I don't want to, and obviously indicative of my worry of facing rejection or some other weirdness from my dad. So...yeah, I should just make sure they'll be in and then just show up and force the conversation; it's true.
First, congratulations!
If this is an intro form where you want to get the person's self-identification for purposes of having a conversation with them, open text is perfect.
If you are trying to create some structured data on the question to do descriptive statistics, open text is a god damn nightmare. You do not want to be the person who has to manually correct or categorize 'male' and 'mlae' to 'Male', and in this instance you would end up also taking on the unenviable job of adjudicating non-obvious answers into categories you've defined for the purpose of the statistics.
If I were building this question for a large-scale survey, I'd start by grabbing 100 participants randomly and giving them the open text version. From their responses, create categories for a multi-pick list that you believe would allow at least 90% of respondents to answer the question without making use of an "other" box, and review responses to your survey on a regular basis (if it's ongoing) to make sure your categories are still effective. (There are definitely some orgs that have done this already internally with varying degrees of discipline but I'm not sure there's a public "standard")
You might also send Lambda Legal a note asking if they have any resources on how to construct these types of questions for the purposes of screening employees or other purposes where you're worried about non-discrimination laws.
edit: there are, now that I think on it, obviously academics who have studied the issue and conveniently published their findings for us, and recommend something much smarter than what I've proposed.
Don't do anything you're not comfortable doing, but at the same time don't worry about their comfort. It's not about them, it's about you
I know that can feel selfish, because I put fuckin' everyone before me, but at the end of the day it's a milestone for you and a step for everyone else
Steam
Gender: Yes please
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Thanks! I'd had a skim of the Williams Institute report previously and only just had a slightly deeper skim. I've seen their suggested promising measure in use and also criticised before. We have a different set of state and federal anti-discrimination laws over where I am, but I'll be sure to encourage people to check with the appropriate agencies that they're acting lawfully - which they should be doing anyway as a matter of course.
I like the 100 participants idea coupled with 'Other' and 'Prefer not to say' options. It's one of those things where you try to find that mythical sweet spot that balances participant comfort, inclusive language, data validity and also not having 20 options.
We recently got a query at work about this and the advice I was cleared to give (along with the usual disclaimers plus recommendations to periodically review this and really think about whether you need to collect that data) was 'Blank box if possible, otherwise female/male/non-binary/agender/other/prefer not to say options'. But there's always room to improve.
I mean, thats not a bad thing!! I think its a very very good thing. And I haven't played the game yet. I guess I should?? is it good???
But i'll give way more credit to media that has really good explicit non-binary representation, like Tyler Mason in Billions WHICH I ACTUALLY HAVENT WATCHED
more importantly has anyone seen Billions??
Is it actually good?? Should I watch it?? I'm kind of crazy excited to actually fucking see a non-binary character in a tv show but i'm also terrified it will be bad!!
also also ah i'm really excited now, I saw them talking about awards and etc and how frustrating it is for them to be constantly shoehorned into best actor/actress for awards shows and shit and I felt really terrible for having never realized how fucking frustrating that must be to have to pick a category to get recognition for your work from your peers.
Sorry for not replying sooner...
He's flown to somewhere inbetween us a lot, and its been great. But like, I feel bad with him always coming to visit me. And I've been feeling like a terrible kid for running away. My parents are pretty old so I feel like I've abandoned them, well, him. But it was too mentally distressing and emotionally draining to be there, I had to get the fuck away and my life has improved 100x for being able to not be there. But yeah. So over the past years we've done lots of cool stuff with him having to fly, and then me flying back a few days for Christmas. But it's always felt really one sided with him having to put forth the effort.
I just hope my mom doesn't come along for the like, 7 day mountain-hiking-car-trip adventure. I don't want to put my partner through her acting like a child. Blaargh. It's always really hard for me whenever anyone here or in other internet places talks really casually about pot/drugs because of what it's done to my family. And like, I know it's not drugs fault and its probably possible to have a healthy relationship with drugs, but fuck, its really really hard to not correlate the two. And I dread my partner being trapped in a house with my mother who's high all the time and saying fucking horrible things about everyone else, while then turning around and spitting acid against us for being gay and ruining her life. I can deal with it now, though it does crush me, but her family is so fucking supportive I think it'll be quite a fucking stark difference. At least my dads really cool.
I feel like "the reverse Superman" has so many possibilities.
Also got a pair of denim knee length shorts on my inevitable journey towards getting hot pants.
It is much less awkward to shop for lady clothes when you're in a group. (Although I think the noun for a group of ladies should be 'pack' as in 'a pack of ladies' personally.)
No, not hell
ONE HUNDRED NATZY SCALPS
Pace yourself and you'll do fine. Waist training isn't nearly as harmful or as painful as people make it out to be if you do it correctly
Uhhhhhhhh excuse you.
That is, in fact, not reverse superman at all.
Superbro used his eye lasers to zap a telepathic's brain so that his powers wouldn't work for a while, by firing through the dude's eyeballs like a laser scalpel, in action comics #775.
*pushes up glasses*
In my defense, it was a friend who said this, not me. I'm sure they'll appreciate me passing on the correction.
If it was lined with kryptonite, yes.
And, like, that's never happened to me before so now I'm just laying on my couch like :huh:
Yeah that was a hell of a thing when I first noticed it. "man I wish I looked that good in a dr- waaaaaait"
Also silky pajamas make you feel like a pretty princess
Is that what happened at one of the Max station stops?