Fun fact: "lactation specialist" is like a certificate you get as a nurse. You don't have to be a genius to get one and the specialty attracts a lot of nutcases. I've met like 4 lactation specialists, one was into essential oils, anf another would tell her patients to take thier infant to a chiropractor for adjustments. Outside of getting a baby to latch I wouldn't lose any sleep over what they said.
This was my milk stash a few weeks ago after tossing the 1st month's since it was old and full of antibiotics. We counted 2000 ounces.
Where do the candle shapes come from? Ours just ended up in little amorphous boobs from the squarish pouches. Those look like crayons! And they stack sensibly!
My wife is obsessively organized. The bags are first layed flat on a sheet in the small freezer then when they're frozen she stacks them in gallon bags.
I did the same but stacked them up in an empty soda box for easy access.
Seriously that is a god damned treasure chest of breast milk.
Link after opening that chest:
Need a voice actor? Hire me at bengrayVO.com
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Haha, wow. I never had more than 3-4 bags ever. Whatever I pumped the day before was saved for the next day usually. I pumped at most three times a day, and each session fit in a single bag.
That's a lot of milk.
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
+6
#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
Perfect is the enemy of good when it comes to parenting. People hear "Breast milk is the best, most nutritious option" and think that means "anything other than breast milk is akin to child endangerment" when it really means "breast milk is 10/10 and formula is 9.5/10"
The same goes for fucking everything from car seats to strollers to food mashing procedures to clothing, diapers, creams, baths, sleep routines, books, travel plans...
A lot of folks feel like they need to treat parenting like a contest and if you're doing something suboptimal then they're winning. Fuck them. It's your kid, keep them warm and full and happy and vaccinated and well rested and they'll be fine.
Sooooooooooooooo going to Vietnam for the birth was a big mistake. Spoiler for madness and mild profanity given the seriousness of the situation.
I mean the birth went fine, medically.
But the government keeps refusing to give the kid a birth certificate, and after every fucking step we take we're told of another six fucking things to do. Like, what the actual fuck? I'm not going to go into all the details because it's fucking extremely long, personal, expensive and whatever. And of course, we're not going to leave this unresolved, because how the fuck can you? Kid needs citizenship, fucking passport and the rest of it.
One reason (among many) we went there for the fucking delivery is because wife is a goddamn citizen and we thought the process would be simpler. And we looked into it beforehand and couldn't see any problem. We had numerous goddamn headaches in Switzerland trying to do this the first time through with kid no. 1 and this time it actually manages to be a whole lot fucking worse. Fucking governments, man. Just issue the fucking sheet of paper saying baby [name] was born to parents [X] and [Y] on this fucking date. Is unemployment so bad that you need to create five different agencies and a shitload of nothing-jobs to staff with idiots in order to do this? Jeezus. And you can't do this from the village, it requires a bunch of shit in the city which is a hire car and a three hour drive one way. Multiple times.
I don't know where he got the scorpions, or how he got them into my mattress.
My seven-year-old wanted to bring coffee to Mama in bed this morning. Luckily I came walking in behind her just as she was holding the mug over Mama's sleeping head and shouting, "Mama wake up!"
"Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
Sounds a lot like Bosnia where 90% of the bourocracy exists to give jobs to those otherwise unqualified for anything else. Not that those people don't immediately start feeling super self important and condescending when you have to see them for some stamp or whatever.
Pro tip: find out where the actual pediatric hospital in your area is and always go there if necessary. This was pulled from a kid's esophagus. The parents had taken their kid to two other ERs where they didn't even do a chest xray before coming to ours. An xray is like the easiest thing to do and was clearly indicated.
Edit: also don't let your 2 year old baby sit and feed your 11 month old :rotate:
ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, ModeratorMod Emeritus
Pro tip: find out where the actual pediatric hospital in your area is and always go there if necessary. This was pulled from a kid's esophagus. The parents had taken their kid to two other ERs where they didn't even do a chest xray before coming to ours. An xray is like the easiest thing to do and was clearly indicated.
Edit: also don't let your 2 year old baby sit and feed your 11 month old :rotate:
what even IS all that shit
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
Pro tip: find out where the actual pediatric hospital in your area is and always go there if necessary. This was pulled from a kid's esophagus. The parents had taken their kid to two other ERs where they didn't even do a chest xray before coming to ours. An xray is like the easiest thing to do and was clearly indicated.
Edit: also don't let your 2 year old baby sit and feed your 11 month old :rotate:
what even IS all that shit
Some coins and what looks like gum? Idk, my friend from the OR sent me that after they got it out.
Ooh. I'm imagining the crying going on off camera.
We are in head bean city these days. Oliver just got another little bump (and cut) from falling out of the laundry basket.
PSN: Kurahoshi1
+1
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
Welp. had a night full of regret and resentment last night.
Spoilered for stupid feels that I can't make go away
I am not my child's primary care giver. that would be her father. he was the one that was up with her in the middle of the night, giving her bottles. He's the gentle one, the one that gives in, the one that plays with her and acquiesces to her needs and wants. I'm the disciplinarian, the one that has some expectations and rules. Sometimes I get backup, sometimes I don't.
We're entering that very rough 3.5 years old stage and the defiance and rudeness are really super getting to me. I tell her to not do something, she agrees, and then does it anyway. And before I have a chance to produce consequences, he steps in and tells her off, but gently, softly, tenderly. So she just keeps pushing her limits with me. Now I'm not going to physically harm her (though at times.........), at most I'd sit her on the step for a minute without access to her toys/games/videos/whatever. But I never get to that point because he always steps in. And maybe he's right, maybe his way of handling it is better, but it seems like it's not really getting me anywhere as she just keeps pushing.
the hardest part is when she wants comfort, she will not accept it from me if her father is anywhere in the same building as her. he might be in the bathroom, or upstairs reading/working, but if he's in the house and conscious then I am not allowed to comfort her. She will scream in my face that she wants Daddy and only Daddy and will only calm down when he comes in and rescues her from my trying to make her feel better.
And it fucking sucks.
And I resent her so much sometimes because goddamit where is MY comfort? When I have a rough day, where are my hugs and cuddles? When my heart is broken, where's my affection? All going to her. All of it.
I know that a lot of this isn't rational, or even really accurate. I know that a lot is my brain being evil and stupid and mean. She's a good kid the majority of the time and I love having her and being around her and she does interact with me in heaps of positive ways. But she can set me on a downward spiral faster than anybody else I know and once I start going down, it's hard to pull back up again.
So I went to sleep crying last night, and she gave me a kiss on the shoulder because I was sad, but that really didn't help me feel any better.
Yep, that's parenting. It's not about you and there's a reason "emotional terrorist" is a term that can be used. They have all these buttons and no to little concept of long term consequences or empathy for others.
At 3 -3.5, they also finally understand (sort of), what they want and get super upset when they don't get it. A big thing to remember is that unlike infant stage, matching intensity is often a mistake.
You can get mad about it, but it won't help as they aren't equipped mentally to process and understand it fully, nor do they have a long enough fuse to listen 100%. Sometimes they do, but being patient is key as this is all incredibly new and hard to process.
Even when they're being total dicks. Which will be a lot, at least for my kids.
Also, you CAN do it, parenting is almost 100% interpretation based on the kid, and there are no magic bullets/convenient tranq darts. If you start from a place of saying "I can't do this" you never will, but if you just keep trying different things, eventually some will work.
Also, there may be other context I'm missing, but I would not say that being the disciplinarian, vs the softie means you're not the or a primary caregiver. I mean, the discipline is also a critical part of childrearing. Some types of attention is also just gravy. I try my best to channel what it would be like to be raising a second child with this first child, and not get too deep into worrying about meeting every immediate and surface need.
PSN: Kurahoshi1
+2
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
i mean by PCG that i'm not the one she runs to when she's hurt or scared or anything. By not breast feeding and being a zombie, i think i might have missed out on that initial connection.
And I know by logic, and with logic, that all of what you're saying is true @schuss but logic isn't working too well with me this morning. The brain spiders are winning that particular tug of war.
Like, that first paragraph up there. I know that my not breast feeding probably has very little to do with it. Logically. That doens't stop my brain from lighting it up in neon and blasting it through loudspeakers sometimes.
i mean by PCG that i'm not the one she runs to when she's hurt or scared or anything. By not breast feeding and being a zombie, i think i might have missed out on that initial connection.
And I know by logic, and with logic, that all of what you're saying is true @schuss but logic isn't working too well with me this morning. The brain spiders are winning that particular tug of war.
Like, that first paragraph up there. I know that my not breast feeding probably has very little to do with it. Logically. That doens't stop my brain from lighting it up in neon and blasting it through loudspeakers sometimes.
Kids have certain parents they gravitate to first, but they're generally flexible. At any given moment, one kid could hate me and one like me a whole lot. They're constantly on the rollercoaster.
The great news is they're super young and impressionable still! So if you start spending time now, they will literally never remember before then, as there's a genetic memory wipe of everything pre-4 (short of trauma/sever happiness) at some point.
No ships have sailed short of the "being a parent" one. Also sanity. And lack of knowledge around the exact lyrics to Let it Go.
That does still sound like you should have a conversation with your spouse. If nothing else you could get him to give you the opportunity to get proper boundaries set yourself with the kiddo so there will be fewer acts of defiance.
Preferably also talk about being unhappy with how other aspects have turned out and see if you both can come up with any ideas to change for the better.
We had to make some deliberate changes so my wife could have better positive interactions with our daughter, which stemmed mostly from my wife's health issues. It also helped us a lot to explain what was going on when she was having bad days, and have conversations with the kiddo about how her actions affect others and why. Even if they don't understand yet and have barely (if any) sense of empathy yet it still lays future groundwork to build with.
It took a bit of effort to make sure our kiddo listened to her mother, because my wife's issues lead to her being less consistent, particularly with follow through. But we're mostly there now. Talking to the kiddo payed off tons in the long term.
Lonelyahava's situation is a bit like mine, only I am the fluffball in our household. It fucking sucks, my partner will react with unbridled anger when little king is getting on her nerves and I have to jump in to calm everyone down. Saturday was particularly rough with my partner crying after she went too far and still asked him if he wanted to say sorry. He didn't, he was upset. That made her think he is some kind of extraordinary jerk, whereas that is not the case. It is her depression that makes her think this kind of bullshit, but I can't talk her out of her loop when there's also a toddler being a grade A toddler at the same time. It is so fucking unfair and once she is calmed down she is very reasonable and is always adamant that she will do better tomorrow. This holds until she has another bad day, or little king was toddlering it up in a spectacular way. Someone from the local child health services is visiting us on Wednesday to see if they have any kind of program or something to help us. I hope they can help, as the waiting lists for the psychiatric care my partner needs are too long.
So anyway, that was my weekend ruined. The kid stayed with my parents for most of Friday and Saturday morning, we did go to the beach (waves are now scary, sand is fun)and played at the McDonald's. So little king had fun.
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
@aldo, I don't want to presume too much but may o make a suggestion?
I was much much worse several months ago, pretty much timed with my period. Like full blown mid swings. Then my Dr recommended I try a herbal medicine called vitex. It's a one a day thing, but honestly it's saved my marriage. And my sanity.
If you're curious, pm me and I can say a bit more.
When it rains, it pours. Our little one has been a little fussy lately because her bottom two incisors are erupting (which is exciting! but also hurts when she tries to chomp on your finger), and over the weekend she picked up some kind of respiratory infection. So her nose is just running constantly and she's coughing like a 70 year old smoker. On Sunday she coughed and cried so much that she lost her voice; I don't think anything sounds more pathetic than a baby trying to cry that just... can't.
Because she was feeling so crummy I decided to work from home today and after I noticed her tugging her ears I got worried about an ear infection and took her to the pediatrician. Surprisingly, her lungs are clear and her ears look good too so we just need to weather this storm. We put the humidifier in her room and are offering extra cuddles and hopefully we don't lose our sanity before this clears up.
0
#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
When it rains, it pours. Our little one has been a little fussy lately because her bottom two incisors are erupting (which is exciting! but also hurts when she tries to chomp on your finger), and over the weekend she picked up some kind of respiratory infection. So her nose is just running constantly and she's coughing like a 70 year old smoker. On Sunday she coughed and cried so much that she lost her voice; I don't think anything sounds more pathetic than a baby trying to cry that just... can't.
Because she was feeling so crummy I decided to work from home today and after I noticed her tugging her ears I got worried about an ear infection and took her to the pediatrician. Surprisingly, her lungs are clear and her ears look good too so we just need to weather this storm. We put the humidifier in her room and are offering extra cuddles and hopefully we don't lose our sanity before this clears up.
A shot of infant Tylenol with the bed-time feed really helps them stay asleep when teething, we found.
The kids touched some weeds in Mori’s parents yard which were almost certainly Queen Anne’s lace (a common, small weed), but shortly after I picked them up Mori’s mom convinced herself that it was giant hogweed, a weed that can cause rashes and burns on the skin
I got home and as per usual watered the yard/picked a few weeds/did the dishes, spending about 20 minutes away from my phone
Hear my phone vibrate and go to answer it. I have 5 missed calls from Mori’s mom plus a bunch of texts from Mori (who was being harassed by his mom on his commute home)
I text Mori that I’ll get the kids to shower immediately and will wash their clothes, and I try returning Mori’s mom’s call to tell her the same
She didn’t answer because she was already at my front door, looking drenched in sweat as if she’d run all the way here
I assure her that the kids are showering, that the clothes are in the wash, that yes, I know giant hogweed is dangerous and yes I am taking it seriously
I text her after they’ve showered and assure her I have scrubbed the kids very clean
She is STILL texting us ‘it’s very dangerous, ask your gardening friend about it’ YES I CAN GOOGLE, I’M ALSO CAPABLE
No doubt I did not convey the appropriate amount of concern in my face when she was over here
0
FiggyFighter of the night manChampion of the sunRegistered Userregular
And yet, so many in that generation roll their eyes at modern safety standards around babies and kids.
"Car seat? That big, expensive thing? We were in a bucket and grew up just fine."
Yes, but the many who didn't aren't here to share the anecdote, are they?
Or an absolute obsession with keeping a baby warm to the point of unreasonable. Like, who cares if that big snowsuit makes the car seat ineffective.
Or maybe I'm just describing my own mother-in-law and that's not common. I somehow doubt it.
When my wife had ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome after the IVF egg implantation my mum rang up and before I could even say hello was shouting down the phone about how OHSS can be fatal.
Posts
Link after opening that chest:
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Steam ID
Twitch Page
That's a lot of milk.
The same goes for fucking everything from car seats to strollers to food mashing procedures to clothing, diapers, creams, baths, sleep routines, books, travel plans...
A lot of folks feel like they need to treat parenting like a contest and if you're doing something suboptimal then they're winning. Fuck them. It's your kid, keep them warm and full and happy and vaccinated and well rested and they'll be fine.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
But the government keeps refusing to give the kid a birth certificate, and after every fucking step we take we're told of another six fucking things to do. Like, what the actual fuck? I'm not going to go into all the details because it's fucking extremely long, personal, expensive and whatever. And of course, we're not going to leave this unresolved, because how the fuck can you? Kid needs citizenship, fucking passport and the rest of it.
One reason (among many) we went there for the fucking delivery is because wife is a goddamn citizen and we thought the process would be simpler. And we looked into it beforehand and couldn't see any problem. We had numerous goddamn headaches in Switzerland trying to do this the first time through with kid no. 1 and this time it actually manages to be a whole lot fucking worse. Fucking governments, man. Just issue the fucking sheet of paper saying baby [name] was born to parents [X] and [Y] on this fucking date. Is unemployment so bad that you need to create five different agencies and a shitload of nothing-jobs to staff with idiots in order to do this? Jeezus. And you can't do this from the village, it requires a bunch of shit in the city which is a hire car and a three hour drive one way. Multiple times.
http://newnations.bandcamp.com
I would not be surprised if you didn't bribe the right official in Vietnam to be honest.
I'd be letting the in-laws handle the negotiations as much as possible, because things just get more expensive as soon as a foreigner shows up.
Edit: also don't let your 2 year old baby sit and feed your 11 month old :rotate:
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Well it's technically the doctor's mistake, so nobody.
Edit: oh is that a coin?
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
So that's something new.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
what even IS all that shit
Some coins and what looks like gum? Idk, my friend from the OR sent me that after they got it out.
Legends of Runeterra: MNCdover #moc
Switch ID: MNC Dover SW-1154-3107-1051
Steam ID
Twitch Page
We are in head bean city these days. Oliver just got another little bump (and cut) from falling out of the laundry basket.
Spoilered for stupid feels that I can't make go away
We're entering that very rough 3.5 years old stage and the defiance and rudeness are really super getting to me. I tell her to not do something, she agrees, and then does it anyway. And before I have a chance to produce consequences, he steps in and tells her off, but gently, softly, tenderly. So she just keeps pushing her limits with me. Now I'm not going to physically harm her (though at times.........), at most I'd sit her on the step for a minute without access to her toys/games/videos/whatever. But I never get to that point because he always steps in. And maybe he's right, maybe his way of handling it is better, but it seems like it's not really getting me anywhere as she just keeps pushing.
the hardest part is when she wants comfort, she will not accept it from me if her father is anywhere in the same building as her. he might be in the bathroom, or upstairs reading/working, but if he's in the house and conscious then I am not allowed to comfort her. She will scream in my face that she wants Daddy and only Daddy and will only calm down when he comes in and rescues her from my trying to make her feel better.
And it fucking sucks.
And I resent her so much sometimes because goddamit where is MY comfort? When I have a rough day, where are my hugs and cuddles? When my heart is broken, where's my affection? All going to her. All of it.
I know that a lot of this isn't rational, or even really accurate. I know that a lot is my brain being evil and stupid and mean. She's a good kid the majority of the time and I love having her and being around her and she does interact with me in heaps of positive ways. But she can set me on a downward spiral faster than anybody else I know and once I start going down, it's hard to pull back up again.
So I went to sleep crying last night, and she gave me a kiss on the shoulder because I was sad, but that really didn't help me feel any better.
So yeah, feeling like heel this morning.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
At 3 -3.5, they also finally understand (sort of), what they want and get super upset when they don't get it. A big thing to remember is that unlike infant stage, matching intensity is often a mistake.
You can get mad about it, but it won't help as they aren't equipped mentally to process and understand it fully, nor do they have a long enough fuse to listen 100%. Sometimes they do, but being patient is key as this is all incredibly new and hard to process.
Even when they're being total dicks. Which will be a lot, at least for my kids.
And I know by logic, and with logic, that all of what you're saying is true @schuss but logic isn't working too well with me this morning. The brain spiders are winning that particular tug of war.
Like, that first paragraph up there. I know that my not breast feeding probably has very little to do with it. Logically. That doens't stop my brain from lighting it up in neon and blasting it through loudspeakers sometimes.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Kids have certain parents they gravitate to first, but they're generally flexible. At any given moment, one kid could hate me and one like me a whole lot. They're constantly on the rollercoaster.
The great news is they're super young and impressionable still! So if you start spending time now, they will literally never remember before then, as there's a genetic memory wipe of everything pre-4 (short of trauma/sever happiness) at some point.
No ships have sailed short of the "being a parent" one. Also sanity. And lack of knowledge around the exact lyrics to Let it Go.
Preferably also talk about being unhappy with how other aspects have turned out and see if you both can come up with any ideas to change for the better.
We had to make some deliberate changes so my wife could have better positive interactions with our daughter, which stemmed mostly from my wife's health issues. It also helped us a lot to explain what was going on when she was having bad days, and have conversations with the kiddo about how her actions affect others and why. Even if they don't understand yet and have barely (if any) sense of empathy yet it still lays future groundwork to build with.
It took a bit of effort to make sure our kiddo listened to her mother, because my wife's issues lead to her being less consistent, particularly with follow through. But we're mostly there now. Talking to the kiddo payed off tons in the long term.
So anyway, that was my weekend ruined. The kid stayed with my parents for most of Friday and Saturday morning, we did go to the beach (waves are now scary, sand is fun)and played at the McDonald's. So little king had fun.
Or.... the hardwoood floor, with no pillow?
WoW
Dear Satan.....
I was much much worse several months ago, pretty much timed with my period. Like full blown mid swings. Then my Dr recommended I try a herbal medicine called vitex. It's a one a day thing, but honestly it's saved my marriage. And my sanity.
If you're curious, pm me and I can say a bit more.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Took him downstairs last night so my wife could sleep. I was feeling rubbish but he then gave me the cutest smile and giggle!
This is from another day but he's really starting to interact more!
Because she was feeling so crummy I decided to work from home today and after I noticed her tugging her ears I got worried about an ear infection and took her to the pediatrician. Surprisingly, her lungs are clear and her ears look good too so we just need to weather this storm. We put the humidifier in her room and are offering extra cuddles and hopefully we don't lose our sanity before this clears up.
A shot of infant Tylenol with the bed-time feed really helps them stay asleep when teething, we found.
Man infant tylenol is so good.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
The kids touched some weeds in Mori’s parents yard which were almost certainly Queen Anne’s lace (a common, small weed), but shortly after I picked them up Mori’s mom convinced herself that it was giant hogweed, a weed that can cause rashes and burns on the skin
I got home and as per usual watered the yard/picked a few weeds/did the dishes, spending about 20 minutes away from my phone
Hear my phone vibrate and go to answer it. I have 5 missed calls from Mori’s mom plus a bunch of texts from Mori (who was being harassed by his mom on his commute home)
I text Mori that I’ll get the kids to shower immediately and will wash their clothes, and I try returning Mori’s mom’s call to tell her the same
She didn’t answer because she was already at my front door, looking drenched in sweat as if she’d run all the way here
I assure her that the kids are showering, that the clothes are in the wash, that yes, I know giant hogweed is dangerous and yes I am taking it seriously
I text her after they’ve showered and assure her I have scrubbed the kids very clean
She is STILL texting us ‘it’s very dangerous, ask your gardening friend about it’ YES I CAN GOOGLE, I’M ALSO CAPABLE
No doubt I did not convey the appropriate amount of concern in my face when she was over here
"Car seat? That big, expensive thing? We were in a bucket and grew up just fine."
Yes, but the many who didn't aren't here to share the anecdote, are they?
Or an absolute obsession with keeping a baby warm to the point of unreasonable. Like, who cares if that big snowsuit makes the car seat ineffective.
Or maybe I'm just describing my own mother-in-law and that's not common. I somehow doubt it.
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
We're well aware! Thanks for that!
No, you're describing everyone's mother-in-law :biggrin:
Video of just the train leaving for anyone interested. VOLUME WARNING:
Except mine. She’s super chill and awesome.
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]