[movie] thread: slam in the back of my jackula

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  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    van helsing is the swingingest vampire movie

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  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator mod
    van Hecksing

    van h*cksing the good doggo vampire slayer

    Veldrin
  • minor incidentminor incident Helen Keller to the bullshit Registered User regular
    Fuck, marry, kill:

    Van Helsing, Van Wilder, Van Halen

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  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    Mysst wrote: »
    van helsing is the swingingest vampire movie

  • OlivawOlivaw good name, isn't it? the foot of mt fujiRegistered User regular
    Mysst wrote: »
    van helsing is the swingingest vampire movie

    Lots of people swing on things in that movie, it's true

    I think the day is saved by Frankenstein literally ziplining in to the end of the movie

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  • astrobstrdastrobstrd So full of mercy... Registered User regular
    Lotta people in here that haven't taken a good hard look at Christopher Lee it seems...

    Though anything over Nosferatu is batting out of my league.

  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
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  • ZonugalZonugal The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    edited January 14
    Alright guys, 98 more pages of Van Helsing.

    We can do it.

    We can all do it.

    Zonugal on
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  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    I was 12 when van helsing came out and that year when i was in year 6 of primary school we had a whole thing of "bring someone in to talk about their job to the kids"

    and someone got David Wenham to come in and it was great

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  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    I drew a very sexy dracula

    NSFW

    https://imgur.com/a/BCdGNfD

    Someone left the lead outta that pencil

    More sexy Dracula

    NSFW

    https://imgur.com/a/3PTJG8B

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  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    chico, you always know how to make a girl happy

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  • minor incidentminor incident Helen Keller to the bullshit Registered User regular
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    tynic wrote: »
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    I drew a very sexy dracula

    NSFW

    https://imgur.com/a/BCdGNfD

    Someone left the lead outta that pencil

    More sexy Dracula

    NSFW

    https://imgur.com/a/3PTJG8B

    Well THAT'S going to be my coworker's new desktop wallpaper tomorrow.

    He just doesn't know it yet.

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  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    chico ilu

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  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    tynic wrote: »
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    I drew a very sexy dracula

    NSFW

    https://imgur.com/a/BCdGNfD

    Someone left the lead outta that pencil

    More sexy Dracula

    NSFW

    https://imgur.com/a/3PTJG8B

    Well THAT'S going to be my coworker's new desktop wallpaper tomorrow.

    He just doesn't know it yet.

    I may replace the on my phone with it
    I currently use
    50s0ragtrwt6.jpg

  • minor incidentminor incident Helen Keller to the bullshit Registered User regular
    One day we'll get the non-Pope winner we crave.

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  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    I just caught up on the last thread and, I apologize to all generations of Punks that came after mine. Omg ELMERS GLUE? Tar oils?

    We forgot to pass on the knowledge of Knox Gelatin. Made your spikes rock hard, rinsed out with a shower.

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  • 2 Marcus 2 Ravens2 Marcus 2 Ravens Registered User regular
    Just saw Parasite for a second time.

    I’m pleased to report that all the awards season nonsense, all the endless praise from clueless rich bastards, all the discourse, hasn’t diminished this movie a bit. It’s even better the second time. Just as funny, just as thrilling, but much sadder. Knowing how it all ends makes the last hour of this movie almost unbearable.

    It’s a straight up masterpiece, and certainly my favourite from Bong Joon-ho.

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  • FawstFawst The road to awe.Registered User regular
    OK, finished up Midsommar.

    I think I liked it more than Hereditary? I need the Blu now, cuz I really want to see the extended edition.

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  • ZonugalZonugal The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    I saw Knives Out tonight.

    My notes:

    -- It was good! Not the best murder mystery I've seen but very enjoyable.

    -- That cast was stacked with talent.

    -- That. Accent.

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  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Ask me about my scrotalist agenda Registered User regular
    1917- hey, that's pretty good.

    I haven't seen Dunkirk. It was similar to Mad Max Fury Road in that you don't really breathe until it is finished. The random Indian guy seemed like a response to the backlash Christopher Nolan got for racistly leaving out the Indian soldiers at Dunkirk. Though it didn't seem to prevent people calling 1917 a pro-Trump film. I was glad I heard some comments that it was a
    depressing ending and so I expected literally everyone to die. Which made the ending was not quite as bittersweet as I expected.

  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Is Dracula a cis male?

    Having no blood in his body is going to cause problems with some kinds of sex for him, if so.

  • CoinageCoinage The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter Registered User regular
    Having no blood in his body is going to cause problems with some kinds of sex for him, if so.
    It depends on how magic he is. Some vampires are not very magic at all, but some are magic and you can definitely have a magic boner. That's the whole reason magic was invented

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  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    Coinage wrote: »
    Having no blood in his body is going to cause problems with some kinds of sex for him, if so.
    It depends on how magic he is. Some vampires are not very magic at all, but some are magic and you can definitely have a magic boner. That's the whole reason magic was invented

    There's a scene in the Buffy series when Angel and Xander find her downed and in need of CPR; Angel tells Xander he'll have to do it because "I have no breath."
    For a moment I was like then how the hell are you talking? but then I decided, you know what, just go with it.

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  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Erectile dysfunction is the mother of invention.

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

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  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Coinage wrote: »
    Having no blood in his body is going to cause problems with some kinds of sex for him, if so.
    It depends on how magic he is. Some vampires are not very magic at all, but some are magic and you can definitely have a magic boner. That's the whole reason magic was invented

    I mean he attended the scholomance, he's pretty fucking magic.

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  • GustavGustav Registered User regular
    I didn’t know dracula played WoW

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  • No.....

  • MolotovCockatooMolotovCockatoo Registered User regular
    Is Dracula a cis male?

    Having no blood in his body is going to cause problems with some kinds of sex for him, if so.

    of course he's got blood in his body! he literally drinks it!

    Killjoy wrote: »
    No jeez Orik why do you assume the worst about people?

    Because he moderates an internet forum

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  • minor incidentminor incident Helen Keller to the bullshit Registered User regular
    Is Dracula a cis male?

    Having no blood in his body is going to cause problems with some kinds of sex for him, if so.

    of course he's got blood in his body! he literally drinks it!

    Tummy blood isn't the same as dick blood.

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  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    Is Dracula a cis male?

    Having no blood in his body is going to cause problems with some kinds of sex for him, if so.

    of course he's got blood in his body! he literally drinks it!

    Tummy blood isn't the same as dick blood.

    Okay, doctor. Dr. Ackula.

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  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    Among the many films nominated for an Oscar yesterday was Best Documentary Feature nominee For Sama

    https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/where-to-stream-the-oscar-nominated-documentary-for-sama/ You can view it in its entirety for free on PBS right now
    PBS wrote:
    Across five years of the brutal Syrian conflict, a young woman named Waad al-Kateab kept her camera rolling — while falling in love, getting married to one of the last doctors in Aleppo, becoming a mother as her city crumbled, and facing the impossible choice of whether to stay or go.

    Now, her family’s story of perseverance and survival as told in the documentary For Sama, has earned an Academy Award nomination for Best Documentary Feature.

    Directed by al-Kateab and Edward Watts and narrated as a message to al-Kateab’s daughter, Sama, the Oscar-nominated film documents the harrowing realities of the Syrian conflict — hospitals bombed, children killed, Aleppo turned to rubble — from a rare perspective: that of a mom trying to raise her baby daughter in the middle of a war zone.

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  • JedocJedoc Take a look. It's in a book. It was always in a book, you fool.Registered User regular
    Is Dracula a cis male?

    Having no blood in his body is going to cause problems with some kinds of sex for him, if so.

    of course he's got blood in his body! he literally drinks it!

    Tummy blood isn't the same as dick blood.

    *scribbles notes*

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  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    I always figured that if a vampire has fed recently, the blood still flows through them, although I'd assume magically, what with no heartbeat.

    I used to have a book that was set in a regular ol' mundane world post-vampire apocalypse. All the vampires still have to go to work and shit, but at dusk instead of dawn etc.
    Anyway, the vampires could have sex, but it required freshly feeding (an artificial blood substitute they drink) and a very warm room to get that blood going. They were also, obviously, real big into biting.

  • GrisloGrislo Registered User regular
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Coinage wrote: »
    Having no blood in his body is going to cause problems with some kinds of sex for him, if so.
    It depends on how magic he is. Some vampires are not very magic at all, but some are magic and you can definitely have a magic boner. That's the whole reason magic was invented

    I mean he attended the scholomance, he's pretty fucking magic.

    More like

    wait for it

    Schlongomance.

    This post was sponsored by LG.

    'Get your fucking finger on the wookie'
    DepressperadoBobble
  • 2 Marcus 2 Ravens2 Marcus 2 Ravens Registered User regular
    Just saw the first Mad Max for the first time. I’ve seen the others, but never got around to this one. It doesn’t fully work, and has several stretches that fall totally flat, but when it clicks, it clicks.

    The opening chase fucking rules and is easily the high point. But any time we’re moving fast is thrilling, even if the story isn’t going forward. Like when Goose rides his motorcycle for a while before randomly crashing, only to get in a car and keep going. There’s no narrative function at all, but it’s worthwhile just as an experience. There’s a lot of that, and I loved it.

    Also this scene with Roger Ward with no shirt and those pants. Jesus. This movie has a fascinating sexuality that I’d love to try and unpack, but for now I’m just gonna enjoy it.

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  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    The styling in original Mad Max definitely has a strong Sydney-Kings-Cross-circa-1980 element.

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  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Maybe vampires grow a baculum the same way they acquire more animal-like canines, who knows

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  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    That would imply the existence of the vampire equivalent of an oosik.

    I mean, I'd take Nick Offerman's spikey cat dick willingly
  • AtomicTofuAtomicTofu She's a straight-up supervillain, yo Registered User regular
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