Legal mail was the bane of my existence during my tenure at that desk in the mailroom (and completely against my will but the warden had it out for me) specifically because of all the stuff that'd try to go through that route since it couldn't be searched normally so it went through the x-ray machine instead. So much contraband, drugs and everything else under the sun.
How much have you whistled since getting out? (Or is that just a Canadian jail thing)
I fucking despise whistling. I'm super sensitive to noise and people would do that shit all the time. there was a guy that just walked around the pod whistling all the time and it was infuriating.
Oh then very different. Canada jail , whistling like an inmate banned thing, like catch a beating if do it level
What was the health care situation like in federal prison? I've heard some OK things about (some) county jails, and some outright nightmare things about state prisons (particularly in the California system).
nothing feels weird except vtubes. those are weird.
If they port persona 5 to steam maybe soon? I don't have a ps4, not a console person
the health care situation varies because you have what is called a PA and I don't know what that stands for, but it's a person with some medical training but not a lot, like 2 years or something and some are better than others. they had out IBproufin like it's some kind of miracle cure and it can be tough to get a good diagnosis on some things without just getting a bottle of that in response. you can get taken out to the local hospital, I never went but I know you get shackled and everything. It can take a while to get something like surgery. overall I'd say it's good enough for minor problems but gets worse as you need more serious things. one of my cellmates had melanoma and it took him a good 2 months to actually have the surgery to remove it.
So how real are gangs in prison as I know in shows and movies they act like it's the only thing in there
I know about drugs as when I went to the county lock up and I placed in a overfilling pod {we had to sleep on those boat like beds}
Somehow they turned the tv on all night and clogged the toilets one of the two nights I was there {for weeds in my yard!} but about drugs I saw someone microwaving weed as it looked old and ugly
If you need some help getting back on your feet, hit me up.
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Zonugal(He/Him) The Holiday ArmadilloI'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered Userregular
edited January 2021
@Jars, here is my recommendation for missed TV since 2018:
2018
-- LA to Vegas was a very fun one-season sitcom about an airline crew staring Dylan McDermott
-- Cobra Kai just released its third season on Netflix, its a far-flung sequel to the Karate Kid movies with the movie's cast returning.
-- Lifetime's You (now on Netflix) is like Dexter if it was 1000% smuttier.
-- Titans, currently on HBO-Max, is a gritty/edge-lord take on the DC's Teen Titans. Its fun for what it is!
-- The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is the newer adaptation of Sabrina the Teenage Witch but done like a Riverdale, but instead of smut there is just Satanism (a lot of Satanism).
2019
-- Russian Doll, on Netflix, is a comedic time-loop series.
-- Doom Patrol, currently on HBO-Max, is a live-action, adult, DC superhero comedy show about the socially rejected heroes of the Doom Patrol.
-- What We Do In the Shadows, on FX (and thus Hulu), is an adaptation of the comedy film of the same name but focused on three other vampires living in New York.
-- I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson is a Netflix-original sketch comedy show.
-- The Boys, on Amazon Prime, is an adaptation of the comic of the same name about a group of regular human beings combating a corrupt world of corporate superheroes.
-- The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, a Netflix-original, is a prequel series to the 1982 Jim Henson puppet movie.
-- The Righteous Gemstones, on HBO, is a comedy created by (and staring) Danny McBride that follows a family of televangelists.
-- Evil, a CBS show (on Netflix) is like the X-Files but about divine mysteries & the Catholic Church.
-- Watchmen, an HBO series, is a sequel to the graphic novel that takes place 34 years after the events of the comic.
-- The Mandalorian, on Disney+, is a space-western in the Star Wars universe.
-- The Witcher, on Netflix, stars Henry Cavill as Geralt of Rivia.
2020
-- Ted Lasso, an Apple TV+ original, staring Jason Sudeikis as American college football coach Ted Lasso who is recruited to coach an English Premier League team, AFC Richmond, despite having no experience in association football (soccer).
-- The Queen's Gambit, a Netflix original, is a coming-of-age period drama miniseries based on Walter Tevis's 1983 novel of the same name. The story, Beginning in the mid-1950s and proceeding into the 1960s, follows the life of Beth Harmon (Anya Taylor-Joy), an orphaned chess prodigy on her rise to the top of the chess world while struggling with drug and alcohol dependency.
Zonugal on
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Larlarconsecutive normal brunchesModerator, ClubPAmod
I was crazy ripped for a while, and that's when I learned that gay guys are like moths to a flame for good abs. the prison body is mostly a myth though, you have a small number of people that work out all the time and everyone else sits around all day and is fat and weak.
I didn't get any tattoos, they're readily available though and for much cheaper than it costs on the outside. prison economies are weird, the price on labor goes way down, while the price on certain specific things goes way down. Like I bought a set of dice from another inmate and it cost me 45 fucking dollars! otherwise you have to use paper dice. meanwhile you have good ol two mac jessie, who will work for a mere $2 doing... things.
he was still overpriced
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ani_game_bumOptimistic, Rule-Breaking Nice GuyThe Final World/DestinationRegistered Userregular
5) I want to type up all my things that I have written. I have 12 years of post release supervision to deal with(it's like probation except you can be violated and sent back to prison for things that aren't illegal with no trial. yes it's fucked up) which, again, WAY over-sentenced. any other judge in my area would have given me 5 at the most.
Is there any way you can get this appealed and reduced down to a reasonable amount of time? It seems borderline cruel and unusual to me having a supervision that is almost 2.5 times longer than the normal maximum.
you can have it removed halfway through. so, still 6 years. otherwise no. basically he uses post release as a way to make up for not being able to give out sentences as big as he might like. I knew another guy at the prison who he gave 24 months... and 15 years post release.
I knew many people that had lifetime supervision. you have to appeal to a court to get off that, and they will reduce it to a year number
one thing I really want to emphasize is how different the idea of what federal sentencing is like versus what it actually is. the end of baby driver is a good example of that because they got literally everything wrong. here's the real system:
you have a point system. you get a baseline point value. mine was 18(no prison time). then you get enhancements. and over the years they have been steadily increasing the number of enhancements. so while I had 18 as a base offense level I ended up with 11 points worth of enhancements for a total of 29. this give me a thing called a sentencing guideline. 29 points is a "recommended sentence of 7-9 years". and the thing about these enhancements is everyone gets them. why are they enhancements when every single person gets them? then, the judge looks at that and decides your sentence. a lot of judges just use the guildelines, which is silly because if we're just gonna use guildelines why do we have judges? thankfully there was a sentencing reform act in 1984 that lets judges depart from them, which happened to me because 7-9 years was fucking insane. so in that sense my judge gave me a break. but other judges in my area would have sentenced me to something like a year and a day and 5 years post release, so it that sense I got fucked.
this all happens at the initial plea bargaining. they set your points, set your charges, etc, and you decide whether to plead guilty or not. I did because I mean.. they got me. secondly if I refused the plea I was going to get hit with even more points, and was almost certain to get sentenced for like 15 years. there's no trial if you plead, there's no people speaking on behalf. you can get letters from people to give to the judge, at least. and you can speak for yourself.
then, you go to prison and you do your entire sentence. there is no parole. you must do at least 85% of the time you were sentenced, or all of it if you lose that credited good time. so our friend in baby driver isn't getting out on parole after 5 years, oh no. he's getting out in the 2040s. Furthermore the judge has no say in what type of institution you go to. that is again.. a point system! they take your offense, your age, and a few other factors. <9 points is a camp, unless you have a "safety factor" which they tack on virtually everything, <15 is a low, <20 I think? is a pen. you get 12 points for being under the age of 25. so every young person that goes to prison is almost certainly going to a medium and many end up at highs.
see in the state system you either get probation, or you get prison which the chance at parole(usually). in the feds you pretty much always get prison time, with no parole, then you have tons of post release probation afterwards.
the guidelines aren't mandatory but they are close to it. getting rid of them and the mandatory minimums would be the biggest things to do for reducing sentencing lengths, in my opinion
Oh I was being facetious about the media misrepresenting how our judicial system works.
But I am flabbergasted at how completely and utterly wrong it happens to be in this particular example. Because I'm pretty sure most media is actually on that level in terms of accuracy.
he didn't intentionally steal my shirt but it sounds better when I say he did. He got out of a shower stall and I got in after him after I hung my shirt up on a peg outside the shower, then when I got out of the shower my shirt was gone so I had to walk around the unit with no shirt looking for paul manafort and get it back from him. he was a nice guy, but still a full on trumper despite being in prison over trump's idiocy. which did work out for him seeing as he got sent to home confinement once coronavirus started despite meeting 0 of the requirements.
I'm eating *gourmet* spicy ramen noodles for the first time in years
Is there anything you miss about being there? (Also glad to see you're back! I just assumed it was just the standard forumer fade-away, and uh, guess not!!)
anything possibly good about prison is balanced out by prison making it shitty. the few good things I can even think of are that it's nice living in a compound setting in a sense that you can just walk to anywhere in a few minutes. There's also some truth to the idea that being bored makes you creative, but then I had to hand write everything and had to haul home a stack of notebooks I had filled up. I also wish I could still be with one of the other inmates but that's unlikely to happen
no one died somehow. people died at elkton, they sued and a court ordered them to release 800 prisoners within a week or something and the prison said lolnope. it's more profitable to keep the inmates there and pay out whatever damages they get sued for. I might get some money for it at some point, but I don't think class action lawsuits ever pay out particularly well. I only had a fever for 3 days and a little tissue damage in my nose that went away soon after
At least with the assisted living homes some of the staff might actually care about the residents. When it comes to prisons, it's staff (CO's especially) bringing it inside because calling out sick means they don't get overtime for that week. And when it comes to that extra cash they don't really care what happens to their wards.
so, lets see if I can do a decent write up of some of the people I met in prison.
the first one is a pathfinder player you guys might recognize. He was not a bright individual. That showed up in how he tried to play pathfinder. In serpent's skull we actually went through and tallied up how many times he died, and I believe it totaled up to 16. I can't even remember all the comical deaths such as:
his first character was a ranger, who should have died like right away when he got pushed off a cliff and was on the group bleeding out. so, in order to prevent his character from dying he pulls this out: "well my wolf should be able to make a medicine check. see? it has a +1 wisdom so it can totally make a medicine check because it's a wisdom skill." so even though it makes no sense he gets away with this one because alright fine. Then the second thing that happened with the ranger was his wolf died, a wight killed it. so he puts the body in a bag of holding to get it brought back to life. What happens when you get killed by a wight? you turn into a wight! so the wolf turns into a wight, and destroys the bag of holding with a big BOOM!. I forget exactly how this character died.
Then there was a paladin he made, and he was super metagaming on the paladin because one of the pcs was a necromancer pretending to be a cleric of phrasma and he was always trying to catch them being a necromancer even though he didn't know how. anyway, the paladin had 10 con because having 10 con on a paladin is a good idea. They're in this fight and off to the side is a giant hippo just chilling in the river. he takes out his bow and shoots the hippo, which anyone familiar with nature knows that you do not fuck with hippos. so the hippo comes over and bites him and he doesn't run away, so it bites him again and criticals him and bites him in half because he has 10 con. RIP paladin.
then there was another character that I'm sure died in a funny way but I don't remember the exact way so he brings on yet another character, a magus. He comes up with the great idea that this magus is a neegan and going to run the party and force them to do his bidding if they don't agree. so he comes flying in at the start and casts darkness on them in the middle of a fight and starts fucking up everything, and naturally the party fights back and above necromancer hits him with ghoul touch, paralyzing him. Then the cleric takes out their 4x critical modifier scythe for a coup de gras and does a ton of damage and the magus all like well I get a for save to not die even thought the DC is like.. 45 or something and the cleric goes you can make the save but I'm going to coup de gras you all 3 rounds and reap you like wheat. so, RIP magus
then there was a kobald bard that got killed by a dominated fighter, RIP bard
that led to another magus, or maybe it was a wizard? and we're at the part of the campaign where there is this guy named the lightning lord and we're diplomatizing with him and he's got all these archers and shit training arrows on us and he's the fucking LIGHTNING LORD so we're all like okay, we'll supplant ourselves just be cool guys. So we're all kneeling in supplication and said wizard/magus decides to cast message to say something to a person literally 6 inches away from him and the guy is like hey what are you doing I see you casting a spell. magus then gets up and is like okay it's go time!.. and gets shot by all 12 archers and dies. meanwhile the rest of us were all yeah he wasn't with us.
there was.. another magus.. who ran into a pack of like 8 ghasts and got paralyzed and died and came back as a ghast and we totally killed him
then there was this big fight against a gorillian boss who can dimension door at will. Our oracle casts dimensional anchor on him to shut it down and he is on yet another magus and runs up and makes a big deal about how he's spending EIGHT arcane pool points to cast DISPELLING STRIKE. and dispels the dimensional anchor. because he thought it's a boss he might have some buffs up. After we teleported on top of the boss while he was eating dinner. Then my alchemist gets dominated and one rounds him with force bombs.(does a 29 hit your touch? what do you mean? DOES A 29 HIT YOUR TOUCH YES OR NO). RIP magus
there were some others from other games too, like in shackled city this brain eating worm was on his arm and he's just like "oh I have a healer I won't worry about it". RIP barbarian
I'm incredibly sorry for the fucked up situation you found yourself in with regards to the justice system. I've read all your posts in fascination and horror, and I appreciate you coming back and sharing your stories, they're all worth knowing. I would seriously love to play some TTRPGs with you, if you ever need a player. @ me or PM me and I will be there.
Posts
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Oh then very different. Canada jail , whistling like an inmate banned thing, like catch a beating if do it level
If they port persona 5 to steam maybe soon? I don't have a ps4, not a console person
the health care situation varies because you have what is called a PA and I don't know what that stands for, but it's a person with some medical training but not a lot, like 2 years or something and some are better than others. they had out IBproufin like it's some kind of miracle cure and it can be tough to get a good diagnosis on some things without just getting a bottle of that in response. you can get taken out to the local hospital, I never went but I know you get shackled and everything. It can take a while to get something like surgery. overall I'd say it's good enough for minor problems but gets worse as you need more serious things. one of my cellmates had melanoma and it took him a good 2 months to actually have the surgery to remove it.
I know about drugs as when I went to the county lock up and I placed in a overfilling pod {we had to sleep on those boat like beds}
Somehow they turned the tv on all night and clogged the toilets one of the two nights I was there {for weeds in my yard!} but about drugs I saw someone microwaving weed as it looked old and ugly
2018
-- LA to Vegas was a very fun one-season sitcom about an airline crew staring Dylan McDermott
-- Cobra Kai just released its third season on Netflix, its a far-flung sequel to the Karate Kid movies with the movie's cast returning.
-- Lifetime's You (now on Netflix) is like Dexter if it was 1000% smuttier.
-- Titans, currently on HBO-Max, is a gritty/edge-lord take on the DC's Teen Titans. Its fun for what it is!
-- The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is the newer adaptation of Sabrina the Teenage Witch but done like a Riverdale, but instead of smut there is just Satanism (a lot of Satanism).
2019
-- Russian Doll, on Netflix, is a comedic time-loop series.
-- Doom Patrol, currently on HBO-Max, is a live-action, adult, DC superhero comedy show about the socially rejected heroes of the Doom Patrol.
-- What We Do In the Shadows, on FX (and thus Hulu), is an adaptation of the comedy film of the same name but focused on three other vampires living in New York.
-- I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson is a Netflix-original sketch comedy show.
-- The Boys, on Amazon Prime, is an adaptation of the comic of the same name about a group of regular human beings combating a corrupt world of corporate superheroes.
-- The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, a Netflix-original, is a prequel series to the 1982 Jim Henson puppet movie.
-- The Righteous Gemstones, on HBO, is a comedy created by (and staring) Danny McBride that follows a family of televangelists.
-- Evil, a CBS show (on Netflix) is like the X-Files but about divine mysteries & the Catholic Church.
-- Watchmen, an HBO series, is a sequel to the graphic novel that takes place 34 years after the events of the comic.
-- The Mandalorian, on Disney+, is a space-western in the Star Wars universe.
-- The Witcher, on Netflix, stars Henry Cavill as Geralt of Rivia.
2020
-- Ted Lasso, an Apple TV+ original, staring Jason Sudeikis as American college football coach Ted Lasso who is recruited to coach an English Premier League team, AFC Richmond, despite having no experience in association football (soccer).
-- The Queen's Gambit, a Netflix original, is a coming-of-age period drama miniseries based on Walter Tevis's 1983 novel of the same name. The story, Beginning in the mid-1950s and proceeding into the 1960s, follows the life of Beth Harmon (Anya Taylor-Joy), an orphaned chess prodigy on her rise to the top of the chess world while struggling with drug and alcohol dependency.
Oh I guess P5 strikers is coming to steam next month.
I appreciate the confirmation that, even behind bars, Steeler fans are a despised sub-class.
Now they do these computer animated shorts instead:
1) did you get ripped as hell?
2) did you get any tats? They're not swastikas are they?
If they're swastikas and you don't wanna talk about it you can just say "no of course I didn't get any swastika tats."
Also my top game recommendations would be Slay the Spire, Hades, Yoku's Island Express, and Hollow Knight.
I didn't get any tattoos, they're readily available though and for much cheaper than it costs on the outside. prison economies are weird, the price on labor goes way down, while the price on certain specific things goes way down. Like I bought a set of dice from another inmate and it cost me 45 fucking dollars! otherwise you have to use paper dice. meanwhile you have good ol two mac jessie, who will work for a mere $2 doing... things.
Is there any way you can get this appealed and reduced down to a reasonable amount of time? It seems borderline cruel and unusual to me having a supervision that is almost 2.5 times longer than the normal maximum.
I knew many people that had lifetime supervision. you have to appeal to a court to get off that, and they will reduce it to a year number
you have a point system. you get a baseline point value. mine was 18(no prison time). then you get enhancements. and over the years they have been steadily increasing the number of enhancements. so while I had 18 as a base offense level I ended up with 11 points worth of enhancements for a total of 29. this give me a thing called a sentencing guideline. 29 points is a "recommended sentence of 7-9 years". and the thing about these enhancements is everyone gets them. why are they enhancements when every single person gets them? then, the judge looks at that and decides your sentence. a lot of judges just use the guildelines, which is silly because if we're just gonna use guildelines why do we have judges? thankfully there was a sentencing reform act in 1984 that lets judges depart from them, which happened to me because 7-9 years was fucking insane. so in that sense my judge gave me a break. but other judges in my area would have sentenced me to something like a year and a day and 5 years post release, so it that sense I got fucked.
this all happens at the initial plea bargaining. they set your points, set your charges, etc, and you decide whether to plead guilty or not. I did because I mean.. they got me. secondly if I refused the plea I was going to get hit with even more points, and was almost certain to get sentenced for like 15 years. there's no trial if you plead, there's no people speaking on behalf. you can get letters from people to give to the judge, at least. and you can speak for yourself.
then, you go to prison and you do your entire sentence. there is no parole. you must do at least 85% of the time you were sentenced, or all of it if you lose that credited good time. so our friend in baby driver isn't getting out on parole after 5 years, oh no. he's getting out in the 2040s. Furthermore the judge has no say in what type of institution you go to. that is again.. a point system! they take your offense, your age, and a few other factors. <9 points is a camp, unless you have a "safety factor" which they tack on virtually everything, <15 is a low, <20 I think? is a pen. you get 12 points for being under the age of 25. so every young person that goes to prison is almost certainly going to a medium and many end up at highs.
see in the state system you either get probation, or you get prison which the chance at parole(usually). in the feds you pretty much always get prison time, with no parole, then you have tons of post release probation afterwards.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
In my opinion they are a complete breach of the separation of powers. They only exist because legislators have a hard on for being tough on crime
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
have you ever noticed how many shows on cable are fucking cop shows? americans love punishing people. the system is a reflection of our society.
fuck the puritans
But I am flabbergasted at how completely and utterly wrong it happens to be in this particular example. Because I'm pretty sure most media is actually on that level in terms of accuracy.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
he didn't intentionally steal my shirt but it sounds better when I say he did. He got out of a shower stall and I got in after him after I hung my shirt up on a peg outside the shower, then when I got out of the shower my shirt was gone so I had to walk around the unit with no shirt looking for paul manafort and get it back from him. he was a nice guy, but still a full on trumper despite being in prison over trump's idiocy. which did work out for him seeing as he got sent to home confinement once coronavirus started despite meeting 0 of the requirements.
I'm eating *gourmet* spicy ramen noodles for the first time in years
3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
That must have been scary as shit in prison.
What could you do to minimise your risk?
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
they're like assisted living homes but worse for disease transmission
the first one is a pathfinder player you guys might recognize. He was not a bright individual. That showed up in how he tried to play pathfinder. In serpent's skull we actually went through and tallied up how many times he died, and I believe it totaled up to 16. I can't even remember all the comical deaths such as:
his first character was a ranger, who should have died like right away when he got pushed off a cliff and was on the group bleeding out. so, in order to prevent his character from dying he pulls this out: "well my wolf should be able to make a medicine check. see? it has a +1 wisdom so it can totally make a medicine check because it's a wisdom skill." so even though it makes no sense he gets away with this one because alright fine. Then the second thing that happened with the ranger was his wolf died, a wight killed it. so he puts the body in a bag of holding to get it brought back to life. What happens when you get killed by a wight? you turn into a wight! so the wolf turns into a wight, and destroys the bag of holding with a big BOOM!. I forget exactly how this character died.
Then there was a paladin he made, and he was super metagaming on the paladin because one of the pcs was a necromancer pretending to be a cleric of phrasma and he was always trying to catch them being a necromancer even though he didn't know how. anyway, the paladin had 10 con because having 10 con on a paladin is a good idea. They're in this fight and off to the side is a giant hippo just chilling in the river. he takes out his bow and shoots the hippo, which anyone familiar with nature knows that you do not fuck with hippos. so the hippo comes over and bites him and he doesn't run away, so it bites him again and criticals him and bites him in half because he has 10 con. RIP paladin.
then there was another character that I'm sure died in a funny way but I don't remember the exact way so he brings on yet another character, a magus. He comes up with the great idea that this magus is a neegan and going to run the party and force them to do his bidding if they don't agree. so he comes flying in at the start and casts darkness on them in the middle of a fight and starts fucking up everything, and naturally the party fights back and above necromancer hits him with ghoul touch, paralyzing him. Then the cleric takes out their 4x critical modifier scythe for a coup de gras and does a ton of damage and the magus all like well I get a for save to not die even thought the DC is like.. 45 or something and the cleric goes you can make the save but I'm going to coup de gras you all 3 rounds and reap you like wheat. so, RIP magus
then there was a kobald bard that got killed by a dominated fighter, RIP bard
that led to another magus, or maybe it was a wizard? and we're at the part of the campaign where there is this guy named the lightning lord and we're diplomatizing with him and he's got all these archers and shit training arrows on us and he's the fucking LIGHTNING LORD so we're all like okay, we'll supplant ourselves just be cool guys. So we're all kneeling in supplication and said wizard/magus decides to cast message to say something to a person literally 6 inches away from him and the guy is like hey what are you doing I see you casting a spell. magus then gets up and is like okay it's go time!.. and gets shot by all 12 archers and dies. meanwhile the rest of us were all yeah he wasn't with us.
there was.. another magus.. who ran into a pack of like 8 ghasts and got paralyzed and died and came back as a ghast and we totally killed him
then there was this big fight against a gorillian boss who can dimension door at will. Our oracle casts dimensional anchor on him to shut it down and he is on yet another magus and runs up and makes a big deal about how he's spending EIGHT arcane pool points to cast DISPELLING STRIKE. and dispels the dimensional anchor. because he thought it's a boss he might have some buffs up. After we teleported on top of the boss while he was eating dinner. Then my alchemist gets dominated and one rounds him with force bombs.(does a 29 hit your touch? what do you mean? DOES A 29 HIT YOUR TOUCH YES OR NO). RIP magus
there were some others from other games too, like in shackled city this brain eating worm was on his arm and he's just like "oh I have a healer I won't worry about it". RIP barbarian